It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never, never learns to dance
Kate,
I'm here at the Hamptons, writing and nearly done with this instalment of Nikki. I know Gina is with me but all I think about is what you are doing. Are you enjoying the summer? Is Tom taking good care of you? I hope so. Well, I'll be back soon. I'll call you and the team when I'm ready to come back to the precinct again.
I don't know what I did to piss off the whole precinct and I hope you enlighten me, I know it is one thing to be seen with the dead body and not calling but I'm really sorry, for whatever it is that made you all mad at me.
Anyway, I'm also sorry about Demming. Because of our lack of communication, I didn't know. When did this happen? I imagined you were so happy this summer. The thought of you always smiling filled my thoughts when I was writing the new Nikki story.
Okay. Maybe I know why everyone's pissed at me. You're their big sister and before I came into the precinct, they're the ones protecting you. I should have called. I just don't want to interfere with you and…
If I had only known. If I only told you before.
But I cannot express how happy I am! Thank you for accepting me back again. I know you knew what it was before I even called it. I glimpsed the look on your face when I got the bag out of evidence. You threw the bet. That is a mystery I'm going to find out.
I know you don't believe in Penny but it's too much of a coincidence if she knows about my middle name. I haven't told anyone about it after I changed it to Edgar so there is no one in public who knows, not even her mother. It is a coincidence if it's about you and she had to tell you. I'm intrigued. Doubly intrigued.
I'm sorry about your TO. You told us that that conversation over the phone, when you told him…I saw you. It broke my heart to see you…broken. A year and a half and I've never seen you that broken, not even when I told you about what they overlooked on your mother's case. You really loved him. I saw how defiant you were when you finally arrested him but the hurt on your face killed me. I don't ever want to do that to you.
The best thing, though, is us finding the treasure and you giving me a hug. It was a really happy moment. I knew that asking you to find that hidden treasure will take your mind off things. You may not forget what happened, not soon, but a little adventure is enough to take that sadness away.
Josh? Seriously?! Doctor Motorcycle Boy? I know I shouldn't be judgmental but, Kate, he's not your type. And by now, I have an inkling who your ideal boyfriend is. He's not the one you're looking for, which I can guess why you broke up with Demming. Why him?
I don't know how many times I'll say thanks to you but again, Thank You. I'm really grateful that you chose to ignore the Page Six article. You must have read it but I'm glad you didn't push or didn't ask about it. Those flowers, I have a feeling that you saw me talking to Gina over the phone. This is what makes you remarkable and extraordinary, Kate. These simple, little things.
I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for you to setup the board. Alone. After you asked me that you want me there and I agreed. After choosing me over an important piece of the puzzle in the jigsaw of your mother's case. But showing me is enough that you still trust me and that you still want me to be there and you didn't even tell Josh about it. He must know by now that you're investigating but you're not sharing that part of you with him.
Kate, it's time to come clean. It's not about the books anymore. I really just can't see you…in pain, in sorrow, broken.
I built my own murder board. One of you, for your mother's case, so I can help you. And I will, in every possible way, everyone be damned. We need to solve this so you won't hurt anymore. So that I'll be calm myself.
Rick