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Chapter 4- Attitude Adjustment

'Fuck.' Harry swore without thinking.

'Excuse me Mr Potter?' was Snape's ice cold reply.

Why did he have to smack into Snape of all people? Right now? Seriously? He couldn't face him right now, what was he supposed to say?

'Uh, um, I, sir I just, um.' Was the most he could get out, and he kept his eyes on the floor at Snape's feet.

'Follow me.' Snape said crisply and led the all too familiar path to his office. 'Inside.'

Harry stepped inside the door still with his eyes down and tried in vain to focus on the fact that Snape had once thrown a jar of cockroaches at his head. It didn't have much effect, all he could think of was the image of the two of them in the mirror.

'Sit.' Snape gestured to the chair in front of his desk. 'Explain yourself.' He waited in silence.

Harry took a deep breath. Snape deserved his respect, he could at least have to guts to meet his eyes and treat him as the superior he was, instead of acting like a love struck teenager. Besides he was very much caught doing the wrong thing here and unlike previous occasions didn't even have a good excuse for it. The war was over.

He raised his eyes, and looked straight in Snape's. 'I'm very sorry sir for swearing just now, it wasn't at you, just at the situation, but it was very disrespectful of me and I'm sorry.'

Snape's eyes narrowed. 'You've had quite the attitude adjustment haven't you Potter?'

'Yes sir.'

'Why?' Snape's tone had lost its venom, and he now sounded puzzled.

'It was the war sir.' Harry paused; he really had no wish to explain further. Luckily for him Snape seemed to accept that. He sat down behind his desk and leaned back in his chair.

'Why were you roaming around the castle Mr. Potter?'

'I couldn't sleep sir.'

'And so you decided to break a school rule? Many students can't sleep from time to time and they do not choose to wander the castle all night. You seem to have a habit of it, or are you just trying to bring back happy memories of the glory years when you and your friends could wander freely about the castle and never get into any trouble? You're not the golden boy anymore Potter.' The venom in his tone had returned.

Harry felt a surge of familiar anger at these words. It felt like Snape was deliberately trying to goad him into acting out, into behaving the way he used to, and he didn't exactly want to yell at the man he had feelings for. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the anger, he realised that basically Snape was right- in a way they had been trying to bring back the 'glory years' as he had called them. They were trying to feel normal again, but instead all he felt was confused and scared.

'I'm very sorry sir, I won't do it again.' He didn't know what else to say.

'Unless you deal with the underlying problem Potter I feel absolutely certain that you will do it again. You can't help yourself.'

'I'll try sir.' He whispered.

'Why can't you sleep?'

'I have nightmares sir.'

'You don't have to call me sir every time you speak Potter, its irritating.' Snape snapped. 'Haven't you always had nightmares?'

'Yes.'

'Then what's changed?' Snape asked calmly.

'I have them every night sir. All night.' Harry kept eye contact with Snape, daring him to make fun of him, but instead of sneering at him Snape simply looked thoughtful. It was a strange expression on his face.

'Have you been to see Madam Pomfrey Potter? She could give you dreamless sleep to assist with the nightmares.' He asked almost kindly.

'No sir, I didn't want a fuss made over me anymore. She always makes such a fuss. Besides aren't we supposed to face our fears? Isn't that the only way to overcome them?' Harry asked.

'Is that what you were doing in the third floor corridor Potter? Facing your fears?' Snape looked closely at Harry.

'I thought if I went back to where it started, back to where I first had to face him, maybe it would help.' He could hardly believe this was happening; he had never spoken with Snape this way before. It was almost as if the man didn't loath him.

'And did it?'

'Yes, and no. I'm not sure yet.' Harry thought that perhaps if he hadn't seen what he had in the mirror, and if he hadn't then seen the face (he refused to think about whose face he'd seen), he might have actually been able to go back to his dormitory and sleep for a few hours. So it had helped, sort of.

'My experience has been that we all have different ways to cope with trauma, some things work for some people and not for others. If this works for you then you are lucky. It certainly never did for me.' Snape paused, 'However in the future you must not go wandering about the castle at night. If I catch you again there will be a severe punishment Potter. You must break this habit, and realise that while the war was obviously the hardest on you, it doesn't give you the right to special treatment. In fact if anything it is more important for you to be treated the same as anyone else. You need some normalcy Potter.' Snape said.

Harry had lowered his eyes during this speech, he was unable to look at Snape any longer, especially since Snape was being what appeared to be understanding and caring. He knew at any minute it could (and probably would) disappear.

'Yes sir.' He whispered. 'But if I may say one thing?'

'Speak' Snape said.

Harry raised his eyes again to Snape's face. 'I have never, not even for a moment thought that the war was hardest on me, and I never will.'

Snape's face hardened. 'Do not pity me Potter. Don't presume that you know me, or what my life has been like because you saw some memories of mine.'

'No sir, I don't presume that. I respect you, but I don't presume to know you.' Harry said.

'Make sure it stays that way Potter.' Snape said tightly.

Harry nodded.

Snape opened his desk drawer and pulled out a small vial. 'I can understand why you do not wish to see Madam Pomfrey.' He handed the vial to Harry. 'Dreamless Sleep. If you require more, come and see me, but do not under any circumstances break curfew again.'

'Thank you. I won't.' And for the first time in his life Harry actually meant that. Snape was right, the war was over and it was time for him to grow up and live a normal life.

'You realise I have to take points for this behaviour don't you?' Snape said after a moment.

'Yes sir.' In truth he was stunned that his punishment wasn't more like execution or disembowelment at least.

'Ten points from Gryffindor.' Snape stated flatly. 'Each.'

'Each?' Harry asked.

Snape smirked. 'I am not a fool Potter. When you wander about at night more often than not Mr Weasley and Ms Granger follow.'

Harry reddened.

'I see I was correct in that assessment.' Snape said drily.

Harry nodded. 'We won't do it again professor.'

'See that you don't.' Snape paused. 'You may go.'

Harry got up to leave and went to the door.

'Harry?'

'Yes Professor Snape?' Harry said turning back to face him.

'Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about? Anything at all?' Snape studied Harry's face. 'I realise I'm not ideally suited to the role of confidant but if you wish to speak to me about anything you might be experiencing I am willing to listen without judgment'

For a few seconds Harry seriously considered telling Snape about the shadow, if it was Voldemort then Snape would want to know surely, but then he thought about what the man had been through already and he changed his mind, he didn't need to deal with anything else. He had given enough of his life already. 'No sir there's nothing else. Thank you for the offer though, and thank you for the Dreamless Sleep.'

'You're welcome. Now go, it's nearly time for breakfast.' Snape nodded to the door. As Harry opened it he added 'It appears you aren't the only one who's had an attitude adjustment.'

Harry's eyes widened and he turned to look back at Snape but the man had his head down and appeared to be grading papers. 'Thank you.' He murmured and left the office.

Severus's eyes bored into Harry's back as he fled the room. There was definitely something more than just nightmares bothering him, Potter was skilled at sneaking around the castle and he wasn't paying any attention when he ran into him. He didn't even have that blasted invisibility cloak on. It was almost as if he was running from something.

Snape vowed to find out what it was. As for Harry himself, well the brat seemed to have finally gained some respect. Perhaps Snape could gain some in return. The corner of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile as he recalled the way Harry's eyes had blazed bright when he looked at him, without a hint of arrogance or scorn. Oh yes he respected the boy- the man, he corrected himself, for Harry was now a man, there was no doubt about that. And there was no more loathing between them. Snape found himself thinking that he could even like this Harry.

He paused mid thought and wondered when exactly he had stopped being Potter and started being Harry.

Harry could only think of one thing as he hurried back to the common room, Snape had called him Harry. Just once and he was almost sure that it was a slip of the tongue and one that he probably regretted but still, he had called him Harry!

He really liked the way his name had sounded coming from Snape's lips.

Ron and Hermione practically pounced on him when he climbed through the portrait hole.

'Where the hell have you been?' Hermione asked shrilly.

'Would you calm down? You'll wake everyone up.' Harry hissed.

'People are waking up anyway since its morning now, and seriously we were worried mate, where were you?' Ron said.

Harry gave them a dark look. 'I got caught.'

'Oh you didn't' Hermione moaned. 'What did I tell you, I knew something would happen did you lose us any points?'

'Hermione we've successfully snuck out several times without getting caught. It was just bad luck.' Ron said. 'Who caught you?'

'Who do you think caught me?' Harry said 'Snape. It's bloody always Snape.'

Ron winced.

'So you have detention then?' Hermione asked.

'No detention. He did take points though.' Harry paused. 'From all of us.'

'No detention?' Ron said flabbergasted. 'Wait what do you mean from all of us?'

'He said he knew that if I was out after curfew then you would be too. He took ten points from each of us.'

'That's it?' Ron asked.

'And no detention? Did he threaten expulsion? Is he going to speak to Professor McGonagall?' Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head. 'No none of that, I mean he gave me a bit of a lecture and he did say that there would be severe consequences if I was caught again but that was it. He was pretty nice about it actually. He asked what we were doing so I told him and he said if it works that's great but to do it in the daytime so we aren't breaking rules.'

'You've got to be kidding me.' Ron said.

Hermione smiled. 'Did he say anything else Harry?'

'Oh yeah, as I was leaving he called me Harry' he said casually.

The look on Ron's face was priceless.