Plan B
Alexander awoke. He looked around the room. In the corner, he noticed a broom. In the other, he saw some food. Reaching his hand out, he tried to grab the bread that layed on the tray at the far corner. Just when he was falling out of his bed and about a foot away from the tray, a rough hand came to slap his wrist.
"ow!" Alexander yelled, "what did you do that for?"
"It's for your own good," an old woman's voice could be heard, "that bread was stale the whole week."
"Then don't leave it here," he yelled.
"It is good nutrition for the flies."
"Wha..?," Alexander's mouth propped open. "Oh, whatever!"
Alexander further examined the room from top to bottom. The walls were covered with filth and mush and flies roamed around the floor, buzzing loudly and echoing through the stone walls.
"Where am I?" he finally asked.
"My Emperor, you are in your palace," the woman's voice crackled.
"Arghhhhh!" Alexander's hands flew to his head as he began pulling his hair out, screaming out in agony.
"har har har har har!" The old woman laughed hysterically.
"Noooooooooooooo!"
Alexander rose from his bed. Sweat dripped down from his temple down his chin as he huffed rapidly. His bed was soaken wet. The room was brightly lit with torches and there were no flies.
"Whew! A dream," Alexander wiped the sweat off his brow and got out of bed. He stretched long and hard until he felt like he could reach the roof. (Hehe. He always says he's stretching "long" and "hard". Wow, what a perv)
Walking down the hallway with only his undergarments on, he was about to start his plan.
He lifted a slip of papyrus he recieved from his spy about what times and where Hephaestion would be going in the huge house.
"Hmmmm, he always passes by my room ALONE every morning when the sun barely rises."
Standing by the entrance to his room, he waited for Hephaestion to come. An hour passed by when the sun was just barely beginning to rise.
"Okay, he'll be here anytime. I'll just surprise him, strip off my undergarments and try to tempt him. Then, when he's completely vulnerable, I'll interrogate him as much as I want until I get the information of his plan. Hehehehe." He snickered not only from the idea of that he was so intelligent, but also from his lust.
Waiting, he finally heard some footsteps approach.
"Now!," he thought.
Jumping with all his might, he stood right in front of the young man and stripped off his undergarments, letting "it" show for all to see.
"Alexander?" a voice called from the man standing in front of him.
Looking at Hephaestion in front of him, he realized something. It wasn't Hephaestion. Instead, it was Cleitus.
"Eeeeeeek!" Alexander screamed like a girl, covered his private parts and flew back in his room.
Cleitus ran after Alexander, "Alexander, did you want it that badly? I'll give you a favor!"
Alexander peered back at Cleitus and noticed his drooling tongue. Cleitus was much too quick, especially now for Alexander to run.
"Noooooooo!" Alexander screeched as Cleitus pounced on him and proceeed to do his "thing".
Finally able to get some air from the rampage, Alexander lifted his head from under Cleitus's naked chest and peered over at the door.
Surprisingly, he saw Hephaestion there, staring with bulgy eyes and a dropping jaw, looking completely astonished. Noticing Alexander's eyes, he rolled his own and walked away.
"Oops," Alexander thought to himself.
Mission failed: again.