Author Note
Ok, so I managed to get the next chapter finished.
Amadeusan- It's a double chapter week! Mainly because I didn't update last week due to work and family stuff. And these damned allergies! Anyway, Enjoy!
Story
The journey back to the Golden Wood was slow for the three brothers. But they were just happy to be back together. About a week in Orophin had them up earlier than normal to start riding that morning. When Rumil finally complained about being hungry enough times he agreed to stop for lunch but Orophin looked troubled. They ate in silence until the middle brother let out a huff and turned to the other two.
"We are being followed," He held up a small dagger. "I found it in the bushes not far from camp this morning, along with some tracks that were not there yesterday."
Haldir felt his heart do a flip. Could it be hers? He held out his hand to examine the dagger. It looked like the one he had seen her carry in the top of her boot, he recognized the handle. Was she following them? Was there hope that maybe she did want the help he offered?
"Brother, I don't believe we have anything to fear from our follower." Orophin gave him a confused look. "I believe these belong to the elleth that saved my life. She will not harm us."
"We should slow our pace," Rumil added thoughtfully. "Leaving her behind would be a travesty. Especially after how hard she worked to heal Haldir."
Orophin finally agreed to a slightly slower pace. He knew this elleth needed help just as much as the other two did, but he was still nervous and didn't relax until they were back in Lothlorien.
Upon reaching the border the shocked wardens listened to the tale of how their beloved leader survived the ambush. The order was given to keep watch for the elleth but to not approach her unless she was in danger. Haldir met with Lady Galadriel in hopes of figuring out who Eglan really was.
"Lord Elrond has promised to look into who she might be."
"I will keep in contact with him and inform you once we know more." Galerdial could read him too well sometimes. She placed a gentle had on his shoulder. "Do not fear for her. She followed you this far and I do not believe she will leave anytime soon."
The day he was set to go back to the border she approached him with news from Imladris.
"Lord Elrond believes he knows this elleth that found you." There was a troubled look in his Lady's eyes.
"Who is she?" Haldir was unsure as to why she looked so sad. There couldn't be that many missing elves, and searches were never given up until something was found.
"He believes she was a student of his named Mirwen, she was traveling with Lady Celebrian when they were set upon by orcs. She was the only one not found in all the searches that went out."
Haldir had to sit. He remembered her now, she had been so full of life and excitement. Traveling outside her home for the first time and her smile had been infectious. The day they left to return to Imladris had been her one hundred and twenty-ninth birthday. She had been so excited she told anyone and everyone who would listen including the wardens at the border. How had such a gentle soul survived the horrors of being held captive by those beasts?
Once he was back on the border Haldir asked for any odd goings-on. There were many. Dead orcs turned up regularly and some of the wardens would even catch sight of a figure in the distance. He knew it was her. The seasons passed but he never could get close enough to her to make his presence known without risking her running. As winter set in he began to worry. There was never a fire to give her away. The only reasons he knew she was still there and still alive were the dead orcs and the occasional glimpse of fiery hair as she disappeared into a stand of trees or behind a hill. Sometimes he would find a strand of long red hair in the branches of a tree on the border but she was never seen that close.
The night a massive storm blew in was the worst for him. His thoughts were occupied with worry for her. Then the attack came. They were severely outnumbered and he became surrounded. He felt a grim determination come over him. If he was to die tonight then he was going to take down as many of them with him as he could. His only regret was leaving his rescuer out there alone. He could only pray that she would allow one of his brothers to help her.
Then as if by magic or a miracle she appeared driving her sword through the one trying to flank him. This distracted another that attacked her but she was too fast. He could feel his heart trying to jump out of his chest as she ducked under the beasts defenses killing it quickly. She wore no armor and fought as if she had nothing left to lose. The two fought side by side until all the orcs were dead. He turned reaching out a hand about to thank her when she spun around running back into the night. He cursed and followed after her.
Eglan ran through the trees. She needed to get away. As she ran she became disoriented and ended up facing a high cliff wall that trapped her instead of the open plains she had been hoping to find. He was right behind her calling her name. She started to climb when a different name slipped for his lips causing her to freeze.
"Eglan. Eglan stop." Haldir followed right behind her keeping that red hair insight. He became desperate as he saw she intended to climb the cliff she was now facing. It was covered in ice and he feared she would slip in her panic to get away. He could not let that happen.
"Mirwen," She froze. He knew it was risky using her real name but he couldn't let her get away.
"H-how do you know that name," her voice was barely above a whisper and he had to strain to hear her over the noise of the storm. He could see her whole body tense and unmoving.
"I remember you Mirwen. It has been a long time but I do remember you." He slowly walked closer taking in her appearance as she climbed back down to face him. She was even skinnier than the last time he saw her. Her clothes were so threadbare that there were holes in some spots. She looked tired and cold. The dark shadows under her eyes looked almost like bruises. He slowly removed his cloak inching closer to her as if she were a frightened animal.
"Let me take you somewhere warm and safe. You need rest and I cannot stand to let you stay out here." He watched her, not daring to move any closer lest she panic again. Those green eyes finally looked into his. The longing he saw there nearly broke him. She looked back down and nodded stepping within his reach. He wrapped his cloak around her before picking her up.
"Rest you are safe now and I will stay with you." Haldir felt her start to relax and by the time he returned to the others she was asleep. He called for a couple extra blankets and a horse. He needed to get her back to the city and away from all the dangers that had followed her for so long.
The sun was coming up by the time Haldir reached the city but his charge didn't stir. This was the longest he had ever seen her sleep. Lady Galadriel met him at the foot of the great Mallorn tree that held his talan. He paused long enough for his lady to look upon the elleth in his arms.
"She has been through a great deal of pain but with your help Marchwarden she may yet heal." The lady's voice was sad but when their eyes met there was hope within them. "I will send some new clothes for her. Send word once she has settled in as I would very much like to speak with her, Haldir."
He nodded before starting the climb up to his home. He would have taken her to the healing house instead but Haldir didn't think the elleth would react well to being touched by strangers. Her trust in him was fragile at best and he wasn't about to risk breaking it. The ellon laid her down on the bed and tucked a spare blanket around her. He went to the small kitchen and started to prepare some breakfast. It wasn't much but the elleth couldn't handle much if her thin appearance was anything to go by. The tea kettle whistled just as a knock came at the door. It was one of The Lady's handmaids bringing fresh clothes. He took the pile of fabric and a tray of food and tea into the bedroom.
Eglan woke, feeling warm, to the sound of a kettle whistling. She looked around surprised to find herself under a roof. Panic set in first as she sat up followed by a wave a dizziness. The door opened revealing him carrying food into the room. A smile came to his lips.
"You are awake," His voice was full of warmth and kindness. "Here you look like you could use something to eat."
It was a simple fair of fruit cheese and bread but it had been so long since she had anything like it. She ate close to half of it her stomach filling more quickly than she would have liked. She bit her lip not wanting to let food go to waste but any more and she would be sick.
"Do not try and force yourself Mirwen. I will save the rest for you for later when you are hungry again." The use of her old name sent a sharp pain through her but she tried to hide it.
"Thank you."
"There is a bathing chamber through that door if you would like to get cleaned up and here are some clothes for you to wear."
She took the pile of fabric and went into the room he had indicated. There was already a warm bath waiting. She nearly wept as she let the warm water cover her body. For the first time in centuries, she had a proper bath with soap and soothing oils. She stayed in the bath until the water turned cold. Once she was dried off she looked through the clothes finding a couple dresses and some leggings and tunics. The dresses she discarded they made running hard and escape impossible she would never be that helpless again. After she dressed Eglan went in search of her rescuer and found him in the sitting room reading a book. He looked up and smiled at her.
"Mirwen."
"Please do not call me that." Her voice was filled with pain as memories resurfaced.
"Why not? It is your name." Halide was confused by her reaction.
"Mirwen died long ago. Down in those dungeons she was destroyed. I can never be her again." Her eyes squeezed tight against the tears that never seemed to fully dry. He stood and gathered her close. She trembled but didn't try to pull away. There was something comforting about Haldir holding her so tenderly.
"I will not call you that anymore if you do not want me too. But I will not call you forsaken anymore either."
He guided the elleth to sit next to him on the couch as he gently brushed his fingers through her hair detangling it as he went. After a while, her tears dried up and she simply let him hold her taking comfort in being close to someone. She found herself sending up a silent prayer thanking The Valar for the first time in years. Perhaps they had not abandoned her like she thought.
It was several long minutes before Haldir felt the elleth relax fully in his arms. He glanced down expecting to see her fast asleep but she was staring out his open window instead looking lost in her own thoughts. She took a deep shuddering breath pressing close to his side.
"I…" her voice trailed off and she frowned. "Marchwarden, you have shown me more kindness than I deserve. I do not understand why."
Haldir tightened his arms around the young female next to him. He didn't understand how she couldn't see that she did deserve his kindness and more. He needed to know why.
"You deserve to be safe. After everything you have been through you deserve to be somewhere peaceful." He could feel her shaking her head pulling away from him. His first instinct was to hold her tighter but he knew she wouldn't react well to that.
"I-if you knew what all they have done to me you would not think that," she cried pulling herself fully from his arms. "The things they made me do. The way they made me live! You would not even want to look at me let alone touch me!" She made to run out the door when he grabbed her arm pulling her back blocking her exit.
"Then tell me. I cannot help if I do not know." His voice soft but she flinched as if he had tried to strike her. He knew not letting her leave could backfire but he couldn't risk her disappearing. She retreated to a corner and as much as he wanted to go to her and hold her close he knew right then it would be too much for the young elleth to handle. She needed to speak and start the recovery processes and that couldn't happen without him pushing her right now.
"You saw my back!" There was some anger in that sentence. "You have seen the claw and bite marks they left!"
There was that fighting spirit he had been sure was in there somewhere. Her voice was rising now as she let it out.
"They stole my innocents on the rough cold floor of their dungeon after making me listen to them rape others over and over! Then they came for me and tore my clothes and skin to shreds before one of them raped me too! They forced themselves on me one after the other all night. I prayed for death or to just forget who I used to be. I tried to hide inside myself but they would not let me! They made me participate. They made me pretend I liked it! If I did not they would hurt me even more. They did that to me for years! No rescue ever came for me, I was never granted death! And still, I endure. I cannot hear the call of the sea anymore I cannot fade and be at peace. There is nothing left of who I used to be and no future for me anywhere."
Haldir watched as she crumpled to the floor sobbing into her hands. He knew she expected him to turn away from her now but he wouldn't. In a couple quick strides he was across the room and picking her up again.
"They did not win," his voice was soft as he moved them back to the couch. "They hurt you in the worst possible ways but you did not break. You are right you can never be who you were before but you will heal and you will become stronger. There is a fire in you it has been blanketed but I can see it still smolders. I will be here to help you if you will let me."
He let her cry herself into exhaustion in his arms. All the pain and loneliness of the past centuries finally coming to a head as she wept until she fell asleep still in his lap. This battle was far from over for the both of them but he knew that it was a start. For the moment, however, a nap did sound good. Haldir leaned back and closed his eyes. He promised himself he would be there with her when she woke.