(AN: Sorry for the wait. Again. I kinda have writer's block. But here is the chapter anyway. (trumpet fanfare))
"Which one do you think I should get?" Amy asked, holding up two similar looking shirts.
Buck and Philip, who were bogged down with about seven shopping bags each, gave each other exasperated sighs. "Uh… aren't they exactly the same?" Tuddrussel asked.
"Of course not," said Amy. "This one has a different color, and is a slightly darker shade than this one."
"Alright, so they're different," said Philip. "But don't you think you have enough clothes now anyway?"
Amy stared at him. "Um… no," she finally said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"And why do we have to hold YOUR bags?" complained her father.
"If you're not going to shop, then you're going to hold the bags," said Amy, turning to rummage through some more clothes. "It's the natural way of things."
"But some of these clothes are mine!" cried Philip. "If what you said is true, then why do I have to hold the bags?"
Amy rolled her eyes. "Only one of the bags is yours. That doesn't count."
"You said we could go to the ammo store!" complained Buck. "And I'm hungry! Are we almost done in here?"
Amy sighed. She was trying to remind herself that her father was, mentally, about six years old. "I'm almost done, I just have to decide which one I want, since you two aren't any help. Let's see… I can't decide. I'll just buy them both."
Buck winced, looking at all the other stuff that he had had to buy for Amy. "There goes my life savings."
"Come on, Dad," said Amy, grabbing her father by the arm and dragging him towards the cash register. "Whip out that credit card… again."
Philip grinned to himself, deciding that this would be the perfect time to sneak out unnoticed. He tiptoed as quietly as he could to the door, still holding all the bags.
"Oh Phil?"
Philip spun around. Amy gave him one of her strange smiles. "Just where do you think you're going?"
"But… but…" stammered Philip. "How did you know I was leaving? You weren't even looking this way!"
"Those are my bags you're holding," said Amy, sounding as if she was talking to a three-year-old. "I can tell when my stuff is about to disappear."
"I'll never understand girls," moaned Philip.
"Me neither," said Buck, who was paying for the two shirts plus everything else Amy had bought in that store.
"That'll be $458.27," said the cashier.
"WHAT?" cried Buck. The cashier didn't answer. She just snatched the credit card out of Buck's hands.
Amy grinned. "Wow, I was thinking it would be more than that. This store has really good values."
The clothes were bagged and the three left the store. "Alright, I have had it!" cried Buck angrily. "I think you've bought enough clothes, young lady, and… I'm not buying you any more!"
"What if I told you I had $500 in my pocket?" asked Amy.
Buck's jaw dropped.
"Not that I do," said Amy, and she actually laughed a bit.
Buck stammered a little before he answered. "Well, even if you did, I wouldn't let you."
"You couldn't stop me," snapped Amy.
"Don't sass me! And of course I could, I'm your dad!"
"Oh, right, I forgot," said Amy.
Philip stared at her. "You forgot that he's our DAD?"
"Oh look, we're at the food court," said Amy suddenly. "Where do you--"
Before Amy could finish, her father and brother were already in one of the lines. Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Men."
***
"Stop fooling around and give me my food," said Amy. She, Philip, and Buck were at a table, and Philip was holding the tray, with a smile on his face as malicious as his father's.
"Not until you say it," said Philip.
Amy's eyes grew wide. "Come on, you guys, I'm just as hungry as you are…"
"So if you want your food, then say it!" said Buck with a laugh.
"Oh, alright," said Amy. "It."
"You know what we mean," said Philip. "And we won't give you your food until you say what we told you to say before!"
Amy trembled as she looked at them, with realization that they wouldn't relent. "FINE!" she cried. "I promise not to go to anymore clothing stores! Now can I have my food?"
"Of course," said Philip, setting the tray down. He and Buck exchanged a high-five.
"Stop gloating," muttered Amy, biting into her cheeseburger.
Buck laughed again. "You know son, I hate to gloat, but wasn't that a great plan of mine?"
"Excuse me?" Philip asked, raising his eyebrow. "I believe it was MY plan, thank you very much."
Buck grabbed a French fry and pointed it towards Philip like a gun. "You'd better take that back!"
Philip pulled the straw out of his drink and brandished it like a sword. "On guard!"
"Honestly, you two, grow up," said Amy, rolling her eyes to the other direction. Her face fell like a stone. "Oh no."
"What is it?" asked Philip.
"It's Miss Wilson," said Amy quickly, scrunching down in her seat as to not be seen. "Did you think that she ever shopped here?"
"I thought she never left the orphanage!" cried Philip, sounding panicked. He dived under the table, with Amy soon following.
"Who are you talking about?" asked Buck.
"The lady who ran our orphanage," said Amy.
"And she hates our guts," added Philip.
"She's got about the same charm as slime," Amy said.
"And no one wants to be within one thousand yards of her hellhole," said Philip.
"She's about as likable as a mutant food pellet."
"She deserves to rot like an oversized sponge."
"You might want to shut up," hissed Buck, "because she's coming this way."
Miss Wilson walked by, saw Buck, and sniffed haughtily. "Trash of society," she hissed.
"Ooooh, that does it, she's going down," growled Buck. Philip and Amy desperately tried to grab his legs and stop him, but it was too late.
Buck pulled out his laser gun and pointed it in Miss Wilson's face. "No one insults me and comes out of it alive!" he roared.
Miss Wilson glared at him. "Just because you're a law enforcement officer doesn't mean you can get your way all the time, especially if you're an idiotic hippopotamus."
Amy, still under the table, winced. "Should we let our dad get thrashed by Wilson, or risk our freedom and try to save him?"
"Well…" Philip thought for a moment. "Since we're with a law enforcement officer, Dad could vouch for us and say that we're here perfectly legally."
"Unless he has a stupid moment on us," muttered Amy.
"Right," said Philip. "But… "
Amy grinned. "Let's do it."
The twins crawled out from underneath the table, and Philip stood between the steaming Buck and Miss Wilson. "Miss Wilson, I would really appreciate it if you didn't get in a fight with this officer."
"Tuddrussel?" snapped Wilson in shock. "What the hell are you doing here?" She grabbed him by the ears. "You're going back to the orphanage, and I'm gonna whip you for five days straight!"
"Excuse me," said Amy, making her presence known, "but I believe this officer can say that we are here perfectly legally." She jabbed her father lightly in the ribs. "Officer, do you have our papers?"
"Uh… yeah," said Buck, sounding confused but pulling them out of his pocket. Amy handed them to Miss Wilson.
"You see," Amy explained, "we are with this Time Squad officer for training."
"But you're only seventeen!" snapped Wilson.
"No, we're eighteen, see?" said Amy, pointing to the papers.
Buck, in confusion, opened his mouth to speak. Amy urgently put a finger to her lips to silence him.
"Hmm… I could've SWORN you were born… a year after what this paper says." Miss Wilson glared angrily at Amy, and tightened her grip on Philip's ear. "Eighteen or not, it is a crime to run away from the orphanage!"
Buck suddenly stepped in, to Philip and Amy's surprise. "Not as big of a crime that I could probably write up for you," he said.
"Like what?" asked Wilson scornfully.
"For one thing," said Buck, "just a few minutes ago you threatened to, hmm, what was it? Oh yeah. You threatened to whip my son for five days straight."
"Your… WHAT?" cried Wilson.
Amy smiled innocently and shrugged. "Oops, silly me. I forgot to mention that Officer Tuddrussel is our father."
Buck pulled out his little legal pad of paper thing. "And from other things I've heard from my son and daughter, you could wind up in jail for at least ten years--"
Miss Wilson let go of Philip and zoomed off as fast as she could.
Amy and Buck laughed happily. Philip rubbed his ear in anguish.
"You're just going to let her run away?" he cried. "Do you realize what all she's done to me and Amy? And everyone else in that awful orphanage?"
Buck shrugged. "Hey, you two can tell me her full name and the address of the orphanage. I can just give those to the law enforcement officers on Earth and they can take it from there."
Amy grinned. "And justice is served. Come on, let's go that that clothes store."
"REMEMBER WHAT YOU PROMISED?" cried Buck and Philip.
"Oh fine," said Amy grudgingly.
(AN: This isn't the end, but I know it kinda sounds like it. You didn't think I would end it without a mission, did you? Or without the twins meeting their mother? No, not at all! Again, I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Tuddrussel is really heard to write in character… Anyway, see you at chapter five!)
"Which one do you think I should get?" Amy asked, holding up two similar looking shirts.
Buck and Philip, who were bogged down with about seven shopping bags each, gave each other exasperated sighs. "Uh… aren't they exactly the same?" Tuddrussel asked.
"Of course not," said Amy. "This one has a different color, and is a slightly darker shade than this one."
"Alright, so they're different," said Philip. "But don't you think you have enough clothes now anyway?"
Amy stared at him. "Um… no," she finally said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"And why do we have to hold YOUR bags?" complained her father.
"If you're not going to shop, then you're going to hold the bags," said Amy, turning to rummage through some more clothes. "It's the natural way of things."
"But some of these clothes are mine!" cried Philip. "If what you said is true, then why do I have to hold the bags?"
Amy rolled her eyes. "Only one of the bags is yours. That doesn't count."
"You said we could go to the ammo store!" complained Buck. "And I'm hungry! Are we almost done in here?"
Amy sighed. She was trying to remind herself that her father was, mentally, about six years old. "I'm almost done, I just have to decide which one I want, since you two aren't any help. Let's see… I can't decide. I'll just buy them both."
Buck winced, looking at all the other stuff that he had had to buy for Amy. "There goes my life savings."
"Come on, Dad," said Amy, grabbing her father by the arm and dragging him towards the cash register. "Whip out that credit card… again."
Philip grinned to himself, deciding that this would be the perfect time to sneak out unnoticed. He tiptoed as quietly as he could to the door, still holding all the bags.
"Oh Phil?"
Philip spun around. Amy gave him one of her strange smiles. "Just where do you think you're going?"
"But… but…" stammered Philip. "How did you know I was leaving? You weren't even looking this way!"
"Those are my bags you're holding," said Amy, sounding as if she was talking to a three-year-old. "I can tell when my stuff is about to disappear."
"I'll never understand girls," moaned Philip.
"Me neither," said Buck, who was paying for the two shirts plus everything else Amy had bought in that store.
"That'll be $458.27," said the cashier.
"WHAT?" cried Buck. The cashier didn't answer. She just snatched the credit card out of Buck's hands.
Amy grinned. "Wow, I was thinking it would be more than that. This store has really good values."
The clothes were bagged and the three left the store. "Alright, I have had it!" cried Buck angrily. "I think you've bought enough clothes, young lady, and… I'm not buying you any more!"
"What if I told you I had $500 in my pocket?" asked Amy.
Buck's jaw dropped.
"Not that I do," said Amy, and she actually laughed a bit.
Buck stammered a little before he answered. "Well, even if you did, I wouldn't let you."
"You couldn't stop me," snapped Amy.
"Don't sass me! And of course I could, I'm your dad!"
"Oh, right, I forgot," said Amy.
Philip stared at her. "You forgot that he's our DAD?"
"Oh look, we're at the food court," said Amy suddenly. "Where do you--"
Before Amy could finish, her father and brother were already in one of the lines. Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Men."
***
"Stop fooling around and give me my food," said Amy. She, Philip, and Buck were at a table, and Philip was holding the tray, with a smile on his face as malicious as his father's.
"Not until you say it," said Philip.
Amy's eyes grew wide. "Come on, you guys, I'm just as hungry as you are…"
"So if you want your food, then say it!" said Buck with a laugh.
"Oh, alright," said Amy. "It."
"You know what we mean," said Philip. "And we won't give you your food until you say what we told you to say before!"
Amy trembled as she looked at them, with realization that they wouldn't relent. "FINE!" she cried. "I promise not to go to anymore clothing stores! Now can I have my food?"
"Of course," said Philip, setting the tray down. He and Buck exchanged a high-five.
"Stop gloating," muttered Amy, biting into her cheeseburger.
Buck laughed again. "You know son, I hate to gloat, but wasn't that a great plan of mine?"
"Excuse me?" Philip asked, raising his eyebrow. "I believe it was MY plan, thank you very much."
Buck grabbed a French fry and pointed it towards Philip like a gun. "You'd better take that back!"
Philip pulled the straw out of his drink and brandished it like a sword. "On guard!"
"Honestly, you two, grow up," said Amy, rolling her eyes to the other direction. Her face fell like a stone. "Oh no."
"What is it?" asked Philip.
"It's Miss Wilson," said Amy quickly, scrunching down in her seat as to not be seen. "Did you think that she ever shopped here?"
"I thought she never left the orphanage!" cried Philip, sounding panicked. He dived under the table, with Amy soon following.
"Who are you talking about?" asked Buck.
"The lady who ran our orphanage," said Amy.
"And she hates our guts," added Philip.
"She's got about the same charm as slime," Amy said.
"And no one wants to be within one thousand yards of her hellhole," said Philip.
"She's about as likable as a mutant food pellet."
"She deserves to rot like an oversized sponge."
"You might want to shut up," hissed Buck, "because she's coming this way."
Miss Wilson walked by, saw Buck, and sniffed haughtily. "Trash of society," she hissed.
"Ooooh, that does it, she's going down," growled Buck. Philip and Amy desperately tried to grab his legs and stop him, but it was too late.
Buck pulled out his laser gun and pointed it in Miss Wilson's face. "No one insults me and comes out of it alive!" he roared.
Miss Wilson glared at him. "Just because you're a law enforcement officer doesn't mean you can get your way all the time, especially if you're an idiotic hippopotamus."
Amy, still under the table, winced. "Should we let our dad get thrashed by Wilson, or risk our freedom and try to save him?"
"Well…" Philip thought for a moment. "Since we're with a law enforcement officer, Dad could vouch for us and say that we're here perfectly legally."
"Unless he has a stupid moment on us," muttered Amy.
"Right," said Philip. "But… "
Amy grinned. "Let's do it."
The twins crawled out from underneath the table, and Philip stood between the steaming Buck and Miss Wilson. "Miss Wilson, I would really appreciate it if you didn't get in a fight with this officer."
"Tuddrussel?" snapped Wilson in shock. "What the hell are you doing here?" She grabbed him by the ears. "You're going back to the orphanage, and I'm gonna whip you for five days straight!"
"Excuse me," said Amy, making her presence known, "but I believe this officer can say that we are here perfectly legally." She jabbed her father lightly in the ribs. "Officer, do you have our papers?"
"Uh… yeah," said Buck, sounding confused but pulling them out of his pocket. Amy handed them to Miss Wilson.
"You see," Amy explained, "we are with this Time Squad officer for training."
"But you're only seventeen!" snapped Wilson.
"No, we're eighteen, see?" said Amy, pointing to the papers.
Buck, in confusion, opened his mouth to speak. Amy urgently put a finger to her lips to silence him.
"Hmm… I could've SWORN you were born… a year after what this paper says." Miss Wilson glared angrily at Amy, and tightened her grip on Philip's ear. "Eighteen or not, it is a crime to run away from the orphanage!"
Buck suddenly stepped in, to Philip and Amy's surprise. "Not as big of a crime that I could probably write up for you," he said.
"Like what?" asked Wilson scornfully.
"For one thing," said Buck, "just a few minutes ago you threatened to, hmm, what was it? Oh yeah. You threatened to whip my son for five days straight."
"Your… WHAT?" cried Wilson.
Amy smiled innocently and shrugged. "Oops, silly me. I forgot to mention that Officer Tuddrussel is our father."
Buck pulled out his little legal pad of paper thing. "And from other things I've heard from my son and daughter, you could wind up in jail for at least ten years--"
Miss Wilson let go of Philip and zoomed off as fast as she could.
Amy and Buck laughed happily. Philip rubbed his ear in anguish.
"You're just going to let her run away?" he cried. "Do you realize what all she's done to me and Amy? And everyone else in that awful orphanage?"
Buck shrugged. "Hey, you two can tell me her full name and the address of the orphanage. I can just give those to the law enforcement officers on Earth and they can take it from there."
Amy grinned. "And justice is served. Come on, let's go that that clothes store."
"REMEMBER WHAT YOU PROMISED?" cried Buck and Philip.
"Oh fine," said Amy grudgingly.
(AN: This isn't the end, but I know it kinda sounds like it. You didn't think I would end it without a mission, did you? Or without the twins meeting their mother? No, not at all! Again, I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Tuddrussel is really heard to write in character… Anyway, see you at chapter five!)