Thank you, thank you for the great reviews! Don't worry, I plan to update the next chapter as soon as I can: I'm already working on it.
As always, I don't own any of the characters, unfortunately.
'. . .' is the Sorting Hat talking to the person who's wearing it
Italics is Q thinking to himself
Chapter 4 - The Talking Hat
Q was met at the station by a half-giant named Hagrid, who shook his hand and informed him that he was to travel to Hogwarts in the boats with the first years. Apparently the approach to the castle was more impressive that way. Q raised an eyebrow at that, but got in the boat with three eleven-year-olds.
He could feel the curious looks he was getting all the way to the castle, after all it was blatantly obvious that he was not a first year student. Luckily everyone seemed too intimidated by him to actually talk to him. However, he lost all the attention he was getting once the school came into view.
Q rolled his eyes as a chorus of gasps and "ooh" erupted around him.
Oh really, it's just a stupid castle! Humans are so easily impressed. I could name several thousand things more impressive than this.
Out of the corner of his eye Q registered Hagrid's disappointment at his lack of enthusiasm for the wonder that is Hogwarts.
Once on the other side, Hagrid escorted them to a stairway before the Great Hall and told them to wait for another professor. Q hated waiting. And he hated not being able to use his powers to speed up the process. Everything was taking far too long for him. He reached out with his mind to locate the professor they were waiting for.
What was her name again? Right, McGonagal. Hmm. . . she's in the postponed prefect's meeting, which they couldn't have on the train because of possible evesdropping spells. Apparently they never counted on me being here. How typical. It's like Picard insisting that they were ready for whatever was in the universe. Well, that certainly ended well. I suppose he never will forgive me for bursting his illusions by introducing the Enterprise to the Borg.
Having nothing better to do, Q half-listened in on the meeting, but did not find out anything particularly interesting. They talked about Harry Potter's DA group, which was being allowed to continue under the condition that it allow Slytherins to join. This announcement brought a smirk from Draco Malfoy and vocal protests from Ron Weasley.
Q gathered from this that Slytherins were not well liked by the rest of the school. He thought that amusing and found himself liking Slytherin a bit more than the other houses because of it. After all, he had always been a bit of a rebel (except for that rather embarrassing period after he had been accepted back into the Continuum and before the trail with Q on Voyager). Eventually, after mentioning some of the new security features that had been added to the castle's defence system, the meeting ended.
It took professor McGonagal another ten minutes to make her way to the first years. As soon as she arrived, her eyes swept the crowd before her and rested on Q. He could tell she immediately labelled him "the American exchange student." To her credit though, Q couldn't tell whether or not she approved of his presence.
"Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," she addressed them, "I am Professor Minerva McGonagal, Deputy Headmistress of the school."
She continued on to explain the four houses of Hogwarts and the sorting ceremony they were about to undergo.
She reminds me a bit of Jean Luc. You can tell by her eyes that she obviously has a sense of humour, but believes in rules and regulations. Likes to set an example by following all the rules. Though I do wonder how far she'd be willing to bend them.
Q looked around at the other students. They were all nervous, scared and excited to various degrees and were staring at the professor in wonder, as if hoping to somehow memorize every word she uttered.
"Mr. Picard, you will be sorted last as you are not in first year," she said, concluding her speech. Q looked up at her and slowly nodded after he bit his tongue before instinctively correcting her that it was Capitan Picard.
Professor MacGonagal looked behind her to where a short, chubby man stood. He nodded at her and she turned around to face the new Hogwarts students.
"They're ready for you, so follow me into the Great Hall," she said and turned to lead them in.
Q followed the first years in front of him. He could hear them gasp as they entered the Great Hall for the first time in their lives. Again he rolled his eyes at how easily humans were amazed, though as he entered the Hall himself he had to admit that it was quite a nice sight to behold. The ceiling was enchanted to imitate the night sky and was alive with thousands of stars. He would never admit it to anyone, but Q found stars beautiful in their own way. After all, they were his home in an odd sort of way.
He knew very well that he had the attention of the entire school. Most of the student populous hadn't yet been informed about the American exchange student. He chuckled to himself.
All this attention and I haven't had to even think about using any of my powers. I feel like I'm back on the Enterprise. All I have to do is show up and I have everyone's attention.
Q scanned the students as he passed them, spotting Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville and Ginny at the Griffindor table. They waved at him. Instead of waving back though, Q turned his attention to the Head table.
Hmm. . . I don't think the headmaster could look more like a wizard if he tried. The pale guy in black at the end looks like he might just stand a chance at winning a glaring contest with Worf. I wonder if he's as much fun to annoy, he he he. And sitting next to him. . . my one and only son is dead! Officially dead! I am going to strangle him with my own hands and sprinkle his innards over a Klingon death camp!
Q almost tripped as he noticed who was sitting next to the pale professor. In bright yellow robes covered in multicoloured smiley faces that beamed at everyone and a mop of dark curls that appeared in desperate need of a barber's attention, his son stared back at him. q winked before looking away.
Q cursed under his breath as he stopped at the front of the Great Hall with the rest of the first years. He was so preoccupied with all the horrible things he would do to his precious son that he didn't notice the Sorting Hat singing until the school erupted in applause after it had finished. He clapped along with everyone else.
A hat that talks and sings: now I know what to get Kathy for Christmas. Only hers will of course sing about how wonderful I am.
Q smiled to himself at the thought. Meanwhile, Professor McGonagal began to call students to be sorted.
When all the first year students were sorted, she cleared her throat and motioned for Q to come up to the stool.
"And now I would like to introduce Mr. Quincy Picard, from America, who will be joining us this year. He is entering sixth year and I'm sure you will all make him feel welcome here at Hogwarts."
Q noticed the puzzled looks students exchanged amongst themselves, which then changed to speculation at which house would get Hogwart's first exchange student in almost 30 years.
He sat down on the stool and made sure to block off all of his Q essence so that the Hat couldn't sense it. He didn't want to give the game away before it had even begun. Not to mention that taking in all of his Qness at once would probably drive the Hat insane, which would interesting to watch, but not particularly practical at the moment.
'Well, well, an American. . . I haven't sorted one of those for a while," the Hat began. Q rolled his eyes.
Why does everyone around here have to point that out when they meet me.
'I'm just trying to figure out where to put you. Let's see, you're highly intelligent. . .'
You have no idea.
'Arrogant too, I see. Hmm. . . you enjoy proving your intelligence to others and playing with others for your own amusement."
Hey, you know, you're smarter than most humans I know.
'What do you mean?'
Never mind; it's supposed to be a compliment. Maybe some day I'll explain it to you.
'Secretive, are we. . . and ambitious too I see,'
Ambitious? How do you figure?
'Well you want to be all-powerful and all-knowing, though I think I might have to disappoint you: those things are impossible to achieve.'
Maybe for a hat. And most humans, but then again I'm not most humans.
'See, I told you, ambitious; you think you can be better than everybody else. Well, I have a feeling that you'll fit right into. . .'
"Slytherin!"
Well that's it for now. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review.