Thank you guys for supporting me once again, I know it had been a long time but I didn't forget nor abandon this story, love it so much lol.
Just life and beta problems lol you know common things :)
Anyway hope you'll like this new update, which is really angsty...sorry but it's an insight in Mercedes's family.
So here it is, chapter 4, hope you will like it and don't hesitate to tell me on a review or PM.
Thank you to my beta Sadhappygirl you did such an amazing work as always :)
disclaimer : I own nothing, Glee for me stopped at Season 3, not even joking anymore...
CHAPTER 4: Family Portrait
We were a great family, united and strong. We were the Joneses; people feared my name and listened with respect when I talked. Every where I went, people threw themselves at me like I were royalty. I'd earned this respect from people. I'd earned my place. I'd worked twice as hard as my colleagues; I arrived early to work and was the last to leave.
But none of that matter now, nothing makes sense anymore. People make fun of my family; we're the laughingstock of the neighborhood. People can't pass without glaring, laughing or judging...all because of her.
I loved her, I mean I love her, she's my daughter, my flesh and blood, but she completely ruined my reputation. She's acting like she's the only one hurting and all our attention is on her. We are stronger than that; we can't dwell on our misery. We are the Joneses.
Once upon a time I had everything, a family, money and success, but she had to ruin everything, everything I'd built…
"Mercedes come here!" Patrick Jones yelled, already upset.
Mercedes knew all too well by her father tone, it was nothing good. She knew she was in deep trouble and her father never failed to find a way to remind her that every fucking thing, that went wrong was her fault.
"Dr. Cortland said that you were agitated Sunday and you escaped your room...again, is that true?" Patrick Jones asked exasperated.
Mercedes bowed her head in shame, at that moment in time, it had felt right. But, in front of her father she wasn't so sure. Mercedes knew she was a problem and the only reason she wasn't permanently at the hospital was because of her father and his influence.
"I asked you a question Mercedes!" Her father boomed.
Mercedes jumped slightly at his demanding tone - he wasn't pleased and the look he gave her was too painful to bear.
"I'm sorry..." Mercedes began slowly; her father quickly cut her off.
"Always, 'I'm sorry daddy.' 'I'll never do it again, I swear...' how many times will you lie to my face?" he shouted.
Mercedes didn't answer, she had nothing to say in her defense and if she did she wouldn't have time to express herself. Her father didn't want answers, he wanted to rant and express his own pain and confusion. Mercedes tried to remember the last time her father had told her that he loved her; it must have been when she was thirteen years old. She had gotten an A on a difficult school assignment. Her father had been so proud of her and had shown her off to all of his colleagues and family, hugging her tightly. That was the last time he had call her a Jones.
"I'm sorry daddy." Mercedes mumbled, she didn't have the heart to say more.
"I don't know why I'm wasting my time, you don't listen to me anyway..." he trailed off with a faraway look in his eyes. Pain and disappointment were clearly on his face and it made Mercedes' heart squeeze with sadness.
She turned around to return to her room when she bumped into her brother Isaiah. He was in college, but had to come home to help his father with Mercedes' situation. Isaiah was a good student and a great athlete, but he had to give up his scholarship and friends in order to take care of his little sister. To say he resented her was stating the truth, he had all his life before him but one person had ripped it away from him. Isaiah made a vow to let his sister know how he felt about her on a daily basis.
"Hey lil sis, always making everyone's lives a living hell." Isaiah growled.
She tried to walk past him, but he blocked her way.
"Move out of my way Isaiah, I know you hate me. Fuck, I hate me too, but you can't pick on me every damn day!" Mercedes said through gritted teeth.
Her brother enjoyed the show, he loved getting a rise out of Mercedes; hoping her temper will get her lock up for good and then he would be able to get his old life back.
"Yes I can and you know why?" he asked, getting in her face "Because it's your fault that I'm here taking care of you and had to give up my dreams! So you gonna take a seat and shut your mouth!" he shoved her into the wall and ran downstairs.
Mercedes let out a shaky breath, it could have been worse...in fact it had already been worse...Isaiah really hated her.
Swiftly, Mercedes entered in her room and went to her wardrobe and found what she needed. She opened the little box which held all her precious memories; she clutched a small piece of a picture frame between her fingers.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'd failed!" Mercedes broke down, her pain was killing her. She closed her eyes and tried to think of happy things to clear her mind; memories of the time her family went on a vacation, their house on the lake flooded her thoughts.
She was nine years old and her brother, who wasn't a jerk at the time, was so excited to go on a vacation that he lifted Mercedes in the air making her laugh. She had been so happy! A single tear ran down her cheek at the memory, as she forced herself to dwell on it.
"Don't run in the house with your sister in your arms Isa, you know it's not safe!" Mrs. Jones shouted
"Yes mama, sorry, not gonna happen again" Isaiah replied.
"Boy! It's the fourth time I'd said it and please don't give me that puppy dog look, because it's not gonna work either."Their mother said, smirking.
Mrs. Jones was a strong black woman, she didn't take any bullshit from anyone. She believed in honestly and hard work; if you didn't have those qualities you weren't worth her time. She raised her children to be the person she always wanted to be, people who didn't fail and if they did just lift their heads and start again, because like she said "Ain't got time for complaints." She was a force to be reckoned with.
Her most precious treasure was her children, she didn't want to spoil them because life on the outside was hard and if they didn't have an ounce of fight in them, they would never succeed. That's what she believed and she wouldn't let anyone make her children look bad or belittle them.
She took Mercedes in her arms and squeezed her with all her might. "One day baby, you're gonna be a huge star. I can already see in you, you're gonna be all diva like you are with your father and you're gonna blow us away, butterfly..." she said softly.
Mercedes smiled, not knowing why her mother was this way but she always loved this heart to heart moments.
"I love you mama and I'm not a diva, just want a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T." she said joking, waving her hand in the air with the sass of the little girl she was, and smiling because she knew Aretha was her mother's favorite singer.
Her mother burst into laughter looking into her daughter's eyes with a hint of sadness.
"Promise to always ask for respect, no pity, no charity, but respect, nothing less!"
"I promise mama, can I go play with Isaiah?" she asked her eyes shining bright without worry
"Of course honey, go play with your brother, be careful okay?"
"Okay, love you mommy" Mercedes said, leaving the room.
"Love you too butterfly, always have and always will..." she trailed off to a laughing and running Mercedes...
Mercedes opened her eyes and let the memory fade away, she should have stayed. She knew her mother and something was wrong with her, but she had preferred playing to listening to her mother. She was nine years old and she couldn't see that her mother wasn't fine - she was a failure as a daughter.
She was afraid her father wanted to abandon her like after her first break down. He didn't know how to react and fear almost took his ability to think.
"What's happening doctor?" A very worried Mr. Jones asked the doctor who was supporting him.
"Mr. Jones, your daughter had a breakdown, I don't know if it's permanent or temporary, she's not able to speak, eat or to take care of herself, we need to hospitalize her and make more analyzes."Dr. Smith replied, making a small sign to the nurses to take care of Mr. Jones.
"She began screaming uncontrollably and shaking like she's possessed, you have to do something doctor. She's all I have, I can't let her go. I can let her go too..." Mr. Jones sobbed.
"Something really dramatic must've happened, maybe if we knew the cause, we could help her more..." the doctor said softly to a distraught Mr. Jones who sat with his head in his hands.
"S-something happened... it's-it's too painful, I can't... I'm sorry, I can't stay here, I gotta go, I'm so sorry."Patrick Jones swiftly got up from his chair and ran away from his daughter, from the pain and from the memory...
Mercedes, who couldn't talk, was screaming on the inside for her father to not let her there, but the outside of her body was numb. Her mind began to play notes and chords on their own and a song began to form, she couldn't talk or walk, but she could sing...her mama always said she could sing.
Mama please stop crying, I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and its tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy growing up in World War III
Never knowing what love could be, you'll see
I don't want love to destroy me like it has done my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
Mercedes walked to the window and watched her dad leave without looking back, tears ran down her cheeks, but she wasn't crying. Mercedes, wasn't feeling anything.
Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop crying, cause I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you, too
I run away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanna go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy growing up in World War III
Never knowing what love could be, well I've seen
I don't want love to destroy me like it did my family
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family?
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
But her father was already gone; he was gone from her heart and her mind. Mercedes was trying to attached herself to an image, a memory of who always had been her model.
All of them, her mother, father and brother were pretending that they were a beautiful family, They have standards and a reputation, they couldn't let themselves show their real faces.
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything)
Let's play pretend act and like it comes so naturally
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
In our family portrait we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
She watched him walk out of her life for what she thought was forever...She wanted to hold him, to shake him and yell at him for leaving his only daughter with strangers. She just watched him leave, but her mind was always singing.
Mercedes came back to the present, but the memory and especially the pain was always there. The fear of being left alone was her shadow. She went to her window and watched her father leave for work without glancing back at the house…
Her mind was always singing.
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that the night you left you took my shining star
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
Ohhh ohhh ohh
"I'll do everything right. I will be your little girl forever..." She whispered putting her hand on the window, like this small gesture could make a miracle happen and make her father remember that she was still there. She was still his daughter and she loved him no matter what.
Her phone rang, at first she wouldn't answer because she didn't want to talk to anyone, but when she saw the number didn't show up on the Caller ID, her curiosity got the best of her.
"Hello." She greeted
"Hello, Mercedes?" said a voice she couldn't placed.
"Who is it?" she asked, frowning.
"It's Sam, Sam Evans, we met yesterday, just wanted...umm am I bothering you? I just wanted to know if you were fine..." he trailed off.
Mercedes smiled a little... It was Sam, the guy with the sun.
I really hope y'all enjoyed it. As always thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Show me some love if you feel like it ;)
Next time: Sam and Mercedes become closer but someone's getting in their way...
Any guesses?