*Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight…if I did, I'd own a Ferrari…

Chapter Four

Bella POV

I jolted in shock from the sting. It hurt, of course, but the pain brought a certain ecstasy with it. I took a glimpse into the mirror, and was instantly disturbed. My face...it looked...serene. It appeared as if I were simply lying in my bed, rather than cutting in the bathroom.

That scared me. I didn't want to be at peace. No. I wanted to be angry, furious at Edward for not loving me, for leading me on. Yet, I couldn't. I was mad at myself –for falling for his act– but I was calm. I was so far gone from the world –and in love with Edward no matter what– that I managed to accept everything. I knew that I was never good enough and even so, I knew that I could never get in the way of Edward's happiness. No matter what he wished, I would comply with them if it would make him happy. Should he choose to break me or not, that was up to him.

...Although I told myself that, I knew that I couldn't live without him. I yearned for him to choose me, to lov-.

There was a sharp inhale of horror.

I tilted my head up, halting as a pixie appeared? Huh. Who knew that such a little loss of blood could make me hallucinate... Peeking down at my wrist, I raised my eyebrow. Oops...maybe a bit more than little.

There was a crimson puddle the size of a small plate surrounding my limp hand. A continuous drip of red supplied the maroon blob. A choked sob brought back my attention.

Worry filled me. Why was the pixie crying? My head slowly turned, looking for the source of her pain –the sink, the bathtub, and the shower curtains. Nothing came to mind.

"What have you done?" the pixie whimpered. What? What was she talking about? I hadn- oh.

"He never loved me."

Her harsh, but aching laugh echoed in my ears. "Fools! Both of you are fools."

Both? What was she talking about?

Her voice suddenly became soft and soothing. "He loves you."

I scoffed. There was no way I would believe that. Her face turned sympathetic.

"He has always loved you. You know how he is, with so much self guilt and blame. He has constantly called himself a monster. He has even convinced his own heart. Edward only wants the best for you. He fervently wishes that you won't be condemned to a life of drinking blood." She seemed so sincere, and there was a natural instinct inside of me, yelling at me that she was telling the truth.

I stared at her, contemplating the possibility. If she was correct, then I had made a huge mistake. Oh no. I told Edward to leave, and he did. He would never come back. I won't ever see him again!

As if she could read my mind, she quickly reassured me. "He will return, after all, he still loves you. I know it."

Her words comforted me, but they struck an odd chord. How did she know all of this? Who was she? Nervousness occupied my easily distracted mind.

"Who are you?" I finally blurted out. I didn't know who she was. What if she tried to hurt me or kidnap me? My thoughts paused. Hmm. If she was trying to harm me then she wouldn't have bothered to comfort me. I supposed she was a good person –err pixie.

"My name is Emily, call me Emy. I- I can't tell you why I know so much right now, but in the future, you will understand!"

Emy looked very apologetic. I wonder what she meant when she said that I would understand in the future…strange.

After a few more questions, Emy asked if she could see my room. I shrugged, and started to get up. A searing pain ripped through my left arm. I instantly collapsed back onto the tile floor.

"Oh! Are you okay? I'm so sorry I totally forgot you were injured!" Emy's frantic voice exclaimed. She quickly grabbed some toilet paper, dabbing at the cut. Once she cleaned it, I inspected the line carefully. It was as thin as a strand of hair, and about two inches long.

"We need to disinfect it. This may sting," Emy warned me. In her hand was a wet paper towel, doused in rubbing alcohol.

"Ah!" I took a sharp breath.

Examining her work, her shoulders slumped. "You made a pretty profound cut. Hold still, this might tickle," she said.

Emy carefully placed my hand in hers, and started chanting. "Sana, sana, sanare. Qui intelligat hoc? Oh omnipotens cælos placere suos eximendi carpi!"

The cut started glowing as the flaps of skin sealed together. I watched in silence, stunned. I was glowing for almost a minute when it suddenly faded.

"There. All done," Emy exclaimed happily. I didn't take my eyes off.

"H- h- how did you do that?" I questioned.

"It comes with being a fairy. I have healing powers –I can only heal small scratches though. Oh, and be careful. It might open again if you stress it too hard," she explained with a chirp. Wow. That's so cool. I wish I could be a useful person like Emily.

"It comes in handy sometimes. I inherited my clumsiness from my mom," she continued with a secret grin. This girl was really puzzling sometimes.

We had a pleasant chat about the most random things. It was bizarre though, Emy seemed to know all of these random things about me. They slipped out of her mouth throughout our conversation, and every time she gave me a shocked glance. She would rapidly compose herself, but I still caught the swift glimpses.

There was a lull in our conversation. We had talked about practically everything possible, and so Emily was currently exploring the finest details of my room. She pranced around the room happily.

"Hey Emily?" I asked quietly. She continued as if I had never spoken. "Emily? Emy?" My voice turned louder and finally caught her attention.

"Wha-? Oh. Sorry. I got distracted," she said with a flustered chuckle. That was weird. I couldn't have been speaking to anyone else but her. She didn't even react when she heard me talking...bizarre.

"OH! Look at the time! I have to leave!" Emily quickly exclaimed.

"What? You're leaving now? Why?" I asked, rather alarmed.

"Bella, make sure you make your feelings clear to Edward. You both love each other a lot, but your weakness is that you two undermine the other's love. Tell him what you want, and why you want it. Don't back down, stay strong, and don't let Edward off too easily okay? You two are equals. I must go now. Don't worry! You will see me again!" she said confidently. Waving goodbye, she took a step towards the window.

"Wai–!"

She disappeared into thin air.

I sat on my bed, dumbfounded. It felt like a whirlwind just passed by my head. Emily's words circled in my mind. We both love each other. Our problem is that neither of us believes that the other loves us as much…We are equals.

Perhaps I had never understood the relationship between Edward and me until now. It was both of our faults. I had made our relationship unbalanced by putting Edward above me. He was always my Greek God, my strong vampire. However, Edward had also never stopped me. He continued to play the gentleman who couldn't let me open a door by myself. He wouldn't let me make my own decisions…It was both of our faults. I suppose it was time to fix that.

Just as I made this decision in my mind, I was startled out of the clouds and back down to Earth.

A rock had hit my window, crashing through and leaving a big hole. I heard a quiet mutter from outside. "Whoops."

"Who's out there? Show yourself!" I called out from my window.

There was another muffled expletive mumbled outside. I moved back to my bed when I heard a rustle. A dim figure appeared. I blinked. The light shifted.

Edward! He came back!

"I'm sorry. I love you," his hushed voice murmured.

I was about to reply, when Emily's words resounded in my ears. Don't let Edward off too easily. I hardened my face.

"You left."

"I know. I wasn't thinking right…" Edward drifted off. He looked as if was concentrating really hard, and then suddenly blurted, "I love you Bella. I- I just can't d-"

I interrupted him, sighing loudly. We were in for a long night because I won't be giving in. He didn't try speaking again, so after awhile I finally spoke.

"Why?"

"What?" A look of confusion filled his face.

"Why won't you change me?"

"Bell-"

"Why? Give me a good reason," I asked, cutting him short again.

"I don't want you to have to suck blood okay? I want you to be human, to be able to enjoy simply human things! You say you want to be immortal, but you don't know how you'll feel once you finally do! You say you don't care if you won't be able to have kids or see your parents again, but I know you will! Even if it's after a few hundred of years, you will eventually miss the simple things of life, like sleep and food. Esme, Rosalie, and even the hyper pixie Alice miss the daily experiences of life. Hundreds of years in darkness, and you will be yearning to see the sunlight, to feel its warmth on your skin. I don't want that for you. I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy!"

Edward was gasping for unneeded breath after his rant. Frustration came clear across his face.

I stayed motionless, gathering my thoughts. Collecting all of my courage, I began my rant, "I will miss the sun, yearn for a child, and fervently wish for sleep…I might even have a longing to be able to cry real tears! What you can't seem to comprehend is that no matter what, in the end, I will feel as if it was all worth it. I'd much rather live with the man I love than live a life with some random man, putting on a façade every day, pretending I was happy."

Tears ran down my face as I finished. A sob wracked my body, and I broke down crying.

Suddenly his arms were around me, comforting me, holding me. Minutes passed before I finally calmed down. The feeling of safety saturated my body.

That made me angry.

Pushing away his cold arms, I grew even more furious. How dare he make me forget my goal, melting into his arms, and forgiving him!

"Make your choice." I stated coldly.

"Huh?"

"Choose. Love me for eternity or don't love me."

He stayed silent, unmoving. Oh no. What if he chooses to not love me? All of my muscles tensed. Didn't Emily say that he loved me?

"I love you. I want to be with you forever. Please," I pleaded.

"I love you too, Bella."

I sighed in relief. Everything was okay again.

"Can't we come up with some other way…?"

SMACK!

My slap echoed in the small bedroom. Edward's face was a perfect epitome of shock. How dare he try that face on me! As soon as he began that sentence, Edward's face had turned pleading. He wrinkled his eyes, and turned up that stupid crooked grin of his. He was intentionally trying to dazzle me into submission! THAT JERK!

Huffing, I grew angrier. "You just said you love me! If you truly love me, then you would want to be with me forever! I don't care how freaking selfless you are trying to be! Haven't you ever heard the phrase "love is selfish" in your century old life? It was because Romeo and Juliet loved each other so much that they defied their parents! They were being selfish!"

My breaths were rapid but shallow. The look on Edward's face brought me great satisfaction. He seemed shocked that I had finally had the guts to stand up to him and his stupid dazzling.

When I had finally calmed down a little, Edward was still standing there with a dumbfounded look.

There was an eerie silence. Neither one of us dared to speak.

I became restless, and shifted. Ripping pain shot up my arm. Edward's eyes widened and he turned even paler as his vision moved down my arm. Just then, a pungent waft of rust and salt came my way. I sucked in a breath through my teeth and glimpsed down.

CRAP!

That was my last thought as I fell into blackness.

A/N: YAY~! I actually got this chapter done in time for my weekly update! I know I posted a note saying that I wouldn't but I worked extra hard just for my loving readers!

Emily was acting weird in this chapter, because guess what! Emily isn't who she says she is! o.O So my dear readers, who do you think Emily actually is? I have left several clues in this chapter and in chapter two. Review if you think you know who Emily is and if you like my story or have suggestions! (First person to review and get her identity correct, I might pm them with an excerpt of the beginning of chapter 5 ^_~)

Reviews are like yummy candy ^_^

I love my beta readers Eraser Bitz and masterb2 as always!

P.S. You are absolutely amazing if you could read the "spell" that Emily did. Heehee. Who knows what Emily said? (Without the help of Google Translate)