Chapter 4

Duskwings

You know that feeling, the yearning-to-fit-in feeling?

The feeling where your heart is racing and your stomach is churning, because you don't know if everyone else will accept you? The feeling that you don't know if you'll fit in anywhere? That's the feeling I'm having right now. School. After all this waiting, I can finally go to school!

"What is it like?" I ask nervously, my talons twitching.

"Really, Duskwings, you don't have to be nervous," says Fearless. "Honestly, it's quite pathetic. All we learn is how to count and- get this- the RainWings can't even read! They had to learn! Isn't that pathetic?"

My mind flashes back to the thin RainWing, the one who left a few days ago. I can't see her as pathetic. She suffered because of us. She suffered because of us! I can't believe it. All of those scrolls about how great and awesome NightWings are, and it's all a pack of lies. We were the bad guys!

"Yeah," I mumble, fiddling with my leather bracelet. "Pathetic."

"Is your wing feeling better?"

"They took me off the herbs," I say, "The ones that stop the pain. It's really sore, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore." I don't tell her about the times when I woke up screaming because of the fiery pain that bubbled inside my wing, the ones that made me think I was on the volcano again.

"Then we have to go," she says. "They do this thing where if you're late they give you a certain number of strikes, and then they take away your suntime privileges."

"Suntime?"

"It's the most ridiculous thing," Fearless says with a little laugh. "It's this little nap that they take in the middle of the day. If you get three strikes, you have to sleep on the lower branches, with less sun. I guess they really are as lazy as all the scrolls said."

Shocking white scales, like looking straight into the sun. Bloodshot eyes. Shivering wings.

"Yeah," I agree. "I guess they are."

"This is Duskwings," says Fearless cheerfully. "She was injured in the volcano, but she's mostly better now, so she's coming here now!"

"Thank you," says the teacher- it's that SandWing who gave me the scroll. "We're very happy to have you here. Why don't you sit over there, by Loris and Jaguar?" She points at two RainWings at the far left of the room.

"Okay." I duck my head and shuffle over to my desk.

"Hi." The RainWing closest to me is a male with an easygoing smile. "I'm Jaguar." He holds out his talon, but I notice that his smile looks a little forced. "This is Loris."

I look over at the other RainWing, and I'm hit with a wave of shock, like bumping into a volcano. It's that thin RainWing, the one who left a few days ago. "I know you! I know you- you were in the healers' hut!"

"I was," says the thin RainWing- Loris- not looking at me. "You finally were allowed to come here, huh?"

I don't know, but for some reason that rubs me the wrong way. It's like she hates me for no particular reason at all. I don't know what I'm doing, but I blurt out, "What's your problem?"

"What's your problem?" she retorts. "You horrible NightWings, locking up innocent RainWings. What did we ever do to you? What did we do to deserve this?" She storms out of the room.

Oh.

She was one of the dragons who was locked up in our fortress.

"It's okay," says Jaguar, following my eyes. "It's free period, she won't get in trouble."

"I didn't do anything to her," I say, my voice shaking. This is exactly what I was afraid of. "I wasn't the one who locked her up. I was just a dragonet. I had no power."

"I know," says Jaguar, but he doesn't meet my eyes.

I look up at him despairingly. Please don't blame me for what the others did. I'm not a bad dragon. I was suffering there as much as she was. I just wanted to get away from there.

I look away. He won't ever understand. No one will.

"Come on, Duskwings, it wasn't that bad," Fearless pleads.

"Yes, it was!" I say pitifully, hoping Fearless will feel sorry for me. "It was horrible! The RainWings blame us for what happened to them!"

Fearless rolls her eyes. "So RainWings are dumb. We knew that already."

I think of Jaguar, with his easygoing smile and kind, gentle voice. "But the other one- Jaguar- he was nice. And you didn't see Loris in the healers' hut. She looked terrible."

"So do all the other RainWings!"

"Fearless, I don't think they're dumb. Or ugly. Or stupid. Or lazy! I think- I think- I think we're the bad guys." I choke it out. I don't know what has got into Fearless. She was such a kind, caring dragon! How did she change all of the sudden?

It's not her who's changed, a voice in my head whispers. It's you.

"Look, I'm sorry," says Fearless, her voice softening. "I won't call them those things anymore, okay? I'm sorry. I just- I miss the island. It was so much better there."

"How can you say that?" I ask. "How can you miss the island?"

"I- I don't know," she says, her voice soft. "I mean, there's air here, and there's food, and it's great and all. But back at the island, we had respect. We were a strong tribe. We suffered, but we held each other up."

"We can still do that," I say quietly.

Our talons meet. Things may be different now, but she's still the same Fearless inside. The same Fearless who saved me from the volcano; the same Fearless who always stands by my side.

"I have some bad news," she says, her voice aching with fear. I look up and see that her face is streaked with tears. "I'm... I'm going to Jade Mountain."

"Jade Mountain?" My heart stops. "That new school for dragons of all tribes?"

Fearless nods.

"What?"

I can't believe it. My best friend... is leaving me.