A/N: I don't have any excuses, except for excessive laziness. And that isn't an excuse. Here's the last chapter, finally, after more than one year of waiting. Have fun!

Epilogue

Alex had no sooner reached the door to Tom's room, than he was already assaulted by Mr. and Mrs. Harris' raised voices.

"... leave the boy alone, he's just fine, aren't you, Tom?"

"Don't say that, Albert, he could have died out there! You're never going on a trip alone, you hear me?"

"He's fifteen, and he's old enough to look after himself."

"Oh, like you were? Don't think I've forgotten that rumor that you got Yolanda pregnant during Secondary!"

Alex carefully cracked the door open, just enough so that he could see Tom sitting on a white bed, dressed and ready to go, and grinding his teeth at his parents' continuously escalating argument. Signaling his friend, Alex saw a wave of relief spread over Tom's face. With an air of unhurried nonchalance, Tom got off the bed and walked to the door. His parents were too busy arguing to notice him leave. Quiet as a ghost, Alex opened the door just far enough for Tom to slip out, and then closed it once again just as silently.

Tom exhaled. "Thanks, man, you're a life saver."

"No problem. Didn't think it was that bad still."

The look Tom gave him spoke volumes. "Why do you think I wanted to leave so bad?"

Alex smiled wryly. "I would, too. You're alright?"

"Peachy. Not even a cold." A grimace. "Yet."

"Same for me."

They looked at each other, then laughed.

"Come on, I want to see how Darren and Mike are," Alex suggested. "Let's tell the nurse, so that your parents don't freak out when they realize you're gone."

Tom rolled his eyes, but started down the hallway. The nurse's station was pretty much at the other end, a large glass pane signaling its presence.

"Want to bet on how long it takes them?" Tom asked morbidly. "Better tell the nurse that we're going to the cafeteria afterwards."

"We are?"

"Sure. I'm a poor, enfeebled invalid, and you're the hero who saved us all from a wretched death. The least my parents can do is cough up some coffee money."

Alex started grinning. "And some cake perhaps?"

Tom's expression joined him. "And some cake, of course. Finally discovering that you're a growing teen-age boy, too?"

"Why, of course I am a growing teenager!" Pretending to be offended, Alex crossed his arms and mock-pouted a bit. Then his face dissolved into a smirk. "At least that's what they've been telling me constantly for the past twelve hours. Thought I'd give it a try."

And yes, he had timed that exactly right: as soon as he stopped talking, they were at the nurse's desk, and Alex knew that Tom wasn't going to ask when someone else was listening. Not after Alex had hinted that he'd had an encounter of the SAS kind last night.

"You're evil, mate," Tom complained. "Really evil."

Alex bowed. "Always glad to be of service."

That was when the nurse occupying the desk, looked up from her work. She was about mid-fifties, with a friendly face and graying hair pulled back together in a pony-tail. However, she had the air of overworked, overstressed caretaker who wanted nothing more than go and lie down for a couple of hours. Or better yet, days.

She wasn't quite unfriendly, but very short. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Alex watched as Tom pulled out all the stops and turned on the charm on 130 percent. Well, he had been aware that Tom knew how to get what he wanted, but he hadn't thought his friend was that good of an actor.

"Oh, we're sorry to disturb you, Ma'am. I'm Tom Harris from 218. My parents have come to take me home, but they're arguing. Again." He drew an artful grimace that immediately had the nurse's sympathy. Definitely great acting, Alex complimented him silently. "They didn't even realize when I left. My friend and I wanted to go visit Darren and Michael Woodstock, the two who were brought in together with me yesterday evening. They're in 259, as far as I know. We thought we'd at least tell someone so that my parents don't go into hysterics once they remember my existence."

The nurse smiled tiredly, but compassionately. "Of course, dear. That's very considerate of you. I wish that my own boys were that thoughtful."

Tom actually blushed. Alex could barely keep his laughter in check.

"Thank you very much," Tom said. "Could you perhaps also tell them that, if we aren't in 259 anymore, we're down in the cafeteria on the ground floor? That would be great."

"No problem. Can you tell me again your details?"

Tom repeated himself, and the nurse quickly jotted down some notes in a scrawl that Alex wondered how anyone was supposed to read. Without magnifying glasses and a thorough grounding in cryptography at least. He could make out something that might have resembled a 218, but it could have been 579 as well. Or pretty much anything. Not necessarily numbers, either.

"Have a nice day, dears!"

Both Tom and Alex smiled back, the picture-perfect image of polite young gentlemen. "You too, Ma'am."

As soon as they were away from the nurse's desk though, Tom's smile dropped into a scowl. "Don't think I didn't see you laughing your ass off just now. You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

No matter how good Tom was at acting, Alex was the master. And he had fun reminding his friend of that. "I don't know what you're talking about." There was no way that butter would melt in such an innocent mouth.

Tom actually growled. "Oh, I think you do. Now spill! What happened last night?"

"Got lost, walked fifteen kilometers, stumbled over a camouflage tent, found someone who had a radio, and then got shipped off to the search and rescue headquaters. Spent the night there, had everyone I met trying to give me some food, and then someone drove me here. Oh, and by the way, we still need to get our things from the bunk-house. I'd love to have a set of fresh clothes. Or a proper shower."

Tom looked at him, his dirt-stained pants, his muddy boots, his rumpled t-shirt, and nodded. "Yeah, mate, you probably should. A miracle that they let you in here at all." He briefly paused, before shaking his head in exasperation. "You're doing it again. Distracting me."

"Yep." Alex was utterly unrepentant. He had to get in his fun somewhere, didn't he? "Oh, and by the way, if they're really in 259, we're here."

Yet another growl. "You just did it again! Just you wait and see, I won't leave you alone until you spill the whole truth to me, Rider!"

Alex bared his teeth. "Bring it on, Harris!"

For a few seconds, their eyes sent angry sparks at each other. Then they dissolved in laughter so hard that they were bent over at the waist. It took a while for them to calm down again.

Alex smiled slightly and straightened up. He held out a hand, smile diminishing. "Glad to see you're alright, Tom."

Tom nodded and clasped Alex's offered forearm in a brief handshake. His eyes were utterly serious, too. "Same with you, mate. Same with you."

Then the moment was gone, and Tom released him with a pat on his back that was more forceful than friendly. "Now, shall we brave the dangers of a grumpy Corporal Woodstock and his equally grumpy brother?"

Alex didn't budge an inch. He smirked. "We shall."

~The End~

The entire room, filled with hardened SAS soldiers, groaned when Eagle practically skipped in and sing-sanged: "Oh, guu-uuyyys~! Guess who I just me-et~!"

~ The Real End~

A/N:

To my faithful reviewers: Thank you so much for your continued support! I am sorry to disappoint some of you (no Sean, no K-Unit) when you were the ones to give me the motivation to finally finish this story. Every now and then, a reminder in form of a review arrived in my inbox, so that I could never forget completely about this fic. And I was starting to feel seriously bad for stringing you along for such a long time...

Anyway, it's finally done! I hope you enjoyed the trip and had a great time (and perhaps even learned a thing or two - I sure did). There won't be a sequel, not least of all because of how hard it was to write the epilogue. I just don't have the inspiration / material for a continuation. Sorry for that.

Until next time!

Sakiku