Chapter Four: Realizations

Dear Juvo,

I'm sorry it's been such a long time since I've written. It's not entirely my fault considering the postal service is tragic, but I have to admit I had your last letter for a few days before I responded. Every time I went to write I would just have this blank piece of paper sitting in front of me, and I would end up leaving it there. It's hard to keep in touch with all of the people back in Alpha, but mostly you. You're so much like my own father I feel as though I'm writing to him.

I've been well, you could say. Tired, mostly. The rest we get here is short but refreshing. As much as I love it I can't deny I missed the nightlife of Multis. All those giant towers and flashing lights were hypnotizing. I have to be honest, I couldn't stay there. It reminded me too much of the Capitol with everyone's gaudy outfits and crazy hair. It's a lot different than life in the commune.

I love the wilderness, who would've guessed? I mean, I suppose you did when you sent me on all of those missions. You knew I was dying to break out of my comfort zone. It reminds me of home, in a way. A strange piece of home that I never had the chance to fully experience. So I thank you for that.

Things with Alend have been… difficult. He's hard to deal with, his letters are always so harsh. I think he wants to talk but I refuse to do that after what he did to me. Maybe that's petty of me but what he did was even worse. It was for the better, I think now. Alend didn't know what to do, and I guess I didn't really either. He's probably why I don't want to come back to Alpha. Please don't judge me for that.

Anyway, I should write you more. I know I won't, which is rude of me, but I should. I've just been busy stuffing trees in the ground and trying to move on with my life. Luto's beautiful. You should visit one day, perhaps. How's Layla been? Does she miss me? Send a picture if you get the chance, I bet she's grown a lot.

I don't know what else to say, other than that I miss you. I miss a lot of things from Alpha, I guess, but mostly you. I couldn't ask for a better father figure in my life than you. Keep me updated, please. Just because I don't always respond to your letters doesn't mean I don't always read them.

Lots of love, Madge.

Gale set the letter down and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Undersee was in Luto. Luto. That was so close, and yet so terribly far. There was no possible way he'd be able to get special allowance to go searching. This letter was the only thing he had as a lead anyway, she could be anywhere. The least she could have done was name some specifics.

"What's that?" Amicus zooms in the room and snatches the letter off of Gale's desk. He's too slow to grab it back from his friend's hands. "So the guy knew her?" Am's a speed reader. "She's in Luto?"

"Give it back," Gale groans, reaching again for the yellowed piece of paper. To calm his friend, Amicus reaches in his back pocket and extracts a small envelope, tossing it at Gale's head. "Ow," he mutters, rubbing at his eye. "Gonna make me blind… what's this?"

"Just open it," Am rolls his eyes, sitting on the edge of the bed and continuing to scan the letter. "This girl has pretty handwriting. It's all loopy."

"Great, glad you think so," he mutters, opening the envelope. Inside are the papers Juvo said he'd get to Gale before they left. A list of all the restoration centers Madge might be at. It was a huge list. Huge. There were dozens of centers in each nation, how was he supposed to just pick one? Was he just supposed to hope for the best?

"I highlighted the ones we should look at," Amicus tells him, laying back on the bed and holding the letter over his head as if he's still reading it though he's definitely done by now.

"What do you mean we? What do you mean look at?"

"Well," he sits up and lays the paper next to him. "We got all our papers signed today so we're free to head back to Panem. Trade agreement has been established."

Gale's eyebrows rise to his forehead, "Really?"

"Yeah, and let me just tell you it's a lot easier when you're not there shouting things."

"Thanks," Gale mutters, reaching to snatch the letter back. Am, however, slid it out of the way. "Just be careful with it, yeah?"

"Sure thing," he rolls his eyes again and goes back to lying down. Gale continues filing through the papers. Full reports of each station and what was being done there. "Right, Juvo also crossed out the ones she most definitely wouldn't be at."

"How would he know?" Gale growls.

"He'd known her for years," Am shrugs, "I'd say it's safe." Something slips through the papers and slides onto the floor, Gale leans down and picks it up. It's a photo, attached to it is a sticky note.

"I know you said you didn't need a picture," it reads, "but please, take it for me. -Juvo." Underneath was a telephone number and an address.

"Crazy old man," Gale mutters, but a smile plays at his lips. In his hands isn't a picture he had seen during the meeting, but another. Madge stands curtsying at an awkward position, smiling. She's wearing a dress that stops above her knees, a summer dress. It's blue and matches her eyes. Her hair is curled in ringlets that tumble down her shoulders. This picture is recent. It's not yellowed, it's not grayed.

"Look," Amicus points from over his shoulder. "You can see the trees in the background. She's got to be in Luto, Gale."

"Yeah," he smiles. "Maybe." The thought that she's still alive is still processing through him. Amicus studies his friend as he studies the photo. His eyes light up, he's smiling. Gale doesn't smile.

"What happens if you find her?" Amicus asks gently. "Is she going to run into your arms as you embrace romantically and the waves splash behind you…" he trails off when Gale shoves him sideway. "Sorry," he snickers, "but really."

Gale collapses into the chair at his desk and sighs, "I don't know."

There's a long pause and then Amicus asks, "Tell me about her? You guys?"

Gale rubs his face and sets the picture down. "We kind of hated each other," he says quietly. "For awhile, I think." Am raises an eyebrow and then Gale laughs. "I mean she was the mayor's daughter and I came from the poorer part of town."

"As of right now this isn't sounding very good…" Am mumbles.

"Well when Katniss, you know Katniss, yeah?" Am nods. "Right, well when Katniss was forced into the Games Madge and I kind of became friends, I guess. I mean we would talk a lot more, but then we wouldn't. After I found out she was the one that sent me the medicine after my whipping I got really… mad. I guess. I wouldn't talk to her."

"So she saves your life with fancy medicine and you stop talking to her. You're a great person, you know that?"

Gale flips him off and continues his story. "When Katniss was put in the Games again I would hang out with the guys a lot. One night when I was with them Madge just came up to me out of nowhere and planted one on me. Right there in the middle of the square. Things escalated a bit and…"

"How many times do I have to tell you to spare me the details?" Amicus groans.

"We didn't do that," Gale laughs. "It just felt… right. I don't know."

"And now, how many years later, five? Six? You decide that you want to find her and… what, exactly?"

Gale turns to his friend and knits his eyebrows. "I-I don't know…"

Amicus nods slowly and looks away uncomfortably. "Listen, it sounds great and all… but…"

"But I sound crazy?" Gale mutters angrily. "Yeah, thanks, I'm well aware." Of course he sounded crazy. He was going on a wild goose chase for a girl that most likely had no feelings for him whatsoever. But he couldn't get her out of his mind.

"It's not that, I mean it's kind of sweet…" he tries to stay supporting, "but what happens if you find her and she's married? Or has two kids? Or totally forgets about that night?"

"I don't know, Am." Gale leans forward and slams his head on his desk. "I don't know. I thought she was dead for the longest time and now that she's alive I just gotta know…"

"I can understand that, I guess." Amicus pauses and looks over at the photo on the desk, he had to admit she was pretty. Gale had good taste. "So, Luto?"

"How the hell are we gonna get to Luto," Gale grumbled. "We gotta go back to Panem and…"

"And then leave for Luto," Am cuts him off. "I called Veto. Had a few words…"

"Veto hates you!" Gale snaps up.

"Yeah, but he loves you," Amicus stresses. "So you and me get a vacation! Looking for the girl of your dreams! Your true love!"

"Stop," Gale cuts him off. "I just want to talk to her. That's all. Just once. And then I can move on, I guess." But he didn't know if he could. He was building this all up inside his mind, he knew that, but there was something else.

"Sure," Am waggles his eyebrows. "We leave tomorrow. Pack your stuff."

A/N: This story will be told from Gale's perspective, and we'll learn more about her as we search to find her. Also, Gale knows looking for Madge is crazy, but there's just something inside him that is forcing him to do it. Like he has to. Haven't you ever got that feeling before? I don't want him to seem creepy because he's not being creepy, haha. Just thoughts.