Chapter 4

Neela and Nate continued to stare out of the break room window, neither saying a word. It was Neela who eventually broke the silence.

'If Ray ever found out about our past…'

Nate turned to look at her.

'…he would never forgive us. Ruin any chance either of us has of a reconciliation.'

'Probably' Nate answered quietly.

'But on the other hand…' Neela continued, still not looking at him '…Ray and I are where we are today because of lies and misunderstandings. I don't want to lie to him anymore.'

'I know.'

There was another pause.

'Do you love my son?' Nate asked, his tone neutral.

Neela turned to look at him for the first time since he had entered the break room and let her eyes roam over him.

For all the time that they had not seen each other, he still looked exactly the same. Lean and tall (though most people seemed tall compared to her), straight nose, strong chin, dark brown hair that flopped casually over his eyes…his eyes. They had always entranced her. A piercing green with a hint of gold that seemed like they could look into the very depths of your soul.

For a minute, Neela just laughed at her own stupidity. How couldn't she have realised how alike Ray and Nate were. Even their mannerisms were alike. But those eyes…

She lifted her gaze back to his and held it for several long moments. Those eyes had once sent her pulse racing but now it was a twin pair that did that to her and through the anxiety and fear, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. At least she now knew that when or if Ray found out, she would be able to truthfully say that she didn't harbour any feelings for his father. Not anymore.

'I do love him Nate. With everything I am.'

Nate gazed deeply into her eyes. Those large, dark orbs were what had caused him to fall for her in the first place. They were the window to her heart. He had heard many people say that she was always on her guard and that you could never tell what she was thinking or how she felt but that wasn't true. Her feelings and emotions had always been there for all to see in her eyes, you just had to know where to look.

He heard her reply and merely nodded. He had thought as much. He could see it written all over her face. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation. Neela loved Ray and even though he wouldn't admit it, it was quite apparent that his son felt the same way. His own feelings for Neela had waned over the years but they were still there in some dark recess of his heart. Still, he was determined to put himself aside and make sure that he got the two of them together.

'I understand Neela. And I don't think either of us wants to bring up the past but I have to tell you that despite everything, even if you don't believe me, I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you and I've regretted that every day for the past ten years. I know it's selfish of me but I hope you can forgive me. I don't want you to hate me.'

'I don't hate you Nate, I never did. I just didn't understand. I used to wonder how you could betray someone you pledged to love forever by falling for someone else. But it happens. I get that now.'

Silence once again descended on the pair and they just stood there, contemplating their situation.

Nate turned back to look out of the window once more. He had wanted to avoid this talk but he was glad that they had. Although admittedly they hadn't said much, a lot of the issues that had been left unresolved all those years ago were finally on the surface and they both knew where they stood. He felt as if a weight had been lifted of his shoulders, and his heart. However, there was one more thing he wanted to ask her. Judging by how the other staff members of the hospital treated Neela, Nate was convinced that they were unaware but he had to know for sure. He just hoped that he wouldn't upset her and went about trying to think of a way to bring it up.

Neela watched as Nate felt silent and felt like laughing on the inside. She knew what he was thinking about and could see the internal struggle on his face of whether to bring it up. But the laughter died in her throat when the reality hit her of exactly what he wanted to know. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it for years. Not since she'd told him anyway.

Deciding that there was no other way to get around it, Neela decided to save the poor guy the trouble and just tell him herself.

'A couple of years ago…'

Nate turned sharply to look at her but remained silent. If he interrupted she wouldn't have the courage to start again.

'…after I dropped out of Michigan University and hadn't yet got the intern position here, my parents had come for a visit. Abby had a shift that day; I was staying with her at the time. During that shift she was treating a young Mexican girl.'

Neela could feel her voice start to shake but continued on nonetheless.

'That girl had been kidnapped and forced into prostitution.'

She could feel tears starting to form in her eyes and turned away from Nate to look at the wall. If she looked at him she feared she would break down.

'After she was released I saw her and she asked me to take the bus with her. She was too afraid after everything that she had gone through.'

Neela paused again but didn't wipe the tears that were streaming down her face. She turned back round to face Nate.

'How could I say no? After everything she had been through, she just wanted someone who cared and would help. I wish I had had someone to look after me.'

Nate felt his heart constrict at her words. He had known that Neela had never overcome the trauma she had suffered in her own life but to hear her speak like that…it made him want to cry.

Taking a few steps forward he stood in front of her and cupped her cheek in his palm, gently caressing it. She was openly sobbing now but he didn't stop the flow of tears pouring down her face. She needed to cry, he knew that.

'How could I? How could I tell them? They wouldn't have understood that I had to help her. Be there for her. Nobody had been there for me but I could be there for her.'

Nate looked down into her beautiful eyes, full of grief and pain as she relieved those moments.

'How could I tell them that twenty years ago, I was that girl?'

Her voice broke and she started to sob, her head buried in her hands, her whole body shaking.

Without a second thought, Nate wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against his chest where she continued to cry and murmured soothing words into her hair.