OPERATION: Save the Halfa!
By Strix Moonwing
Strix: Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews! Back again with the fourth chapter! Sorry it took so long; this chapter has given me the biggest writer's block. So annoying…..but don't worry! The others I have planned out. This was the only chapter in the story that I had no plan with. That's what happens when you start writing and let your imagination think of different ideas than what you originally wanted. Well, that's life….my life!
Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom.
Chapter 4: Meaty Meat Monday!
"Danny, what's the big deal? So you're Cheerios tasted a little funny. It's nothing to get worked up over" Said Danny's techo-geek friend, Tucker Foley.
Danny, Tucker, and his Goth friend, Sam, were walking in through the school hallways on their way to lunch. Danny had been telling them about the cereal meat incident.
"It wasn't just funny! It tasted just like meat…raw meat!" cried Danny, throwing his hands into the air.
"WHAT! THAT'S HORRIBLE!!" shrieked Sam, shivering at the thought of eating raw meat. Suddenly a though hit her. "Hey, wait…how do you know what raw meat taste like?"
Danny chose to ignore that question. "The deal is that the cereal wasn't my only problem today. Earlier I when to me a snack out of the snack machine and it tasted like meat! I was chewing some bubble gum and what did it taste like? Meat! Heck, even the water from the school's water fountain tasted like meat!" cried Danny, heading toward the water fountain. He pushed the knob and stepped back to let his friends try.
Tucker pushed Sam out of the way and leaped toward it. "Allow me Danny! Anything to help a friend!" Tucker took a big gulp of the water and then spit it out all over Sam and Danny.
"Hey!" screamed the both of the, all wet, each glaring at Tucker.
"Ah! I told you! How did it taste Tuck?" asked Danny.
Tucker seemed too disgusted to speak. "It…It…It…"
"Yes?!" asked his two friends.
"It…It…It…"
"Spit it out!"
Tucker let out a cry of despair. "It tasted like….WATER! NORMAL UNMEATLY WATER! IT ISN'T FAIR!" He wept sadly.
Danny and Sam slapped their hands across their face in frustration. Sam glanced at Danny and said, "Look Danny, maybe it's all in your head…or the food here is finally starting to show its true nature."
Danny rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well I hope it stops soon. I've never been sicker of meat before."
Sam smirked, "Hey, you can always become a recto-vegetarian like me."
Tucker heard her and let out another cry of despair. "NO DANNY! DON'T DO IT! DON'T CROSS OVER TO THE DARK, RABBIT-FOOD EATING SIDE!"
Danny let out a gag. "Yeah, right! I don't even consider that stuff food!"
Sam frowned, but followed her friends into the lunch room.
In the Lunch room…
Danny looked at his lunch tray, which was filled with a pile of what looked like gray pudding. Did they make gray pudding? How did they get it to that nasty shade of grey? Couldn't they make it blue or red, any color that didn't make it look like a pile of tar? All these questions were crossing the minds of the students of Casper High…all expect Danny's.
"Danny, it looks like you're more afraid of the lunch food than usual." Commented Tucker, digging into his own gray matter.
"I'm trying to decide whether this will taste like meat or like the usual tasteless goo that it usually is." Replied Danny, poking the gray stuff with a spork.
Sam sighed and took out a carrot. "Danny, if you are worried that you're food is going to taste like raw meat again, then eat this." She handed him a carrot. "Don't worry, I've tasted it, and it tastes just like a regular, all healthy, nonmeat carrot."
Tucker leaned toward Danny and whispered. "I still say you should chuck it out."
Danny stared at the carrot and, deciding that it was normal, took a bite out of it. Sam watched him chew it and smirked. "See, I told you."
Suddenly Danny's eyes went big and he spit out the carrot, all over Tucker and Sam.
Tucker stared at the chewed carrots on his shirt and screamed, "THE NONMEATYNESS! IT BURNS!"
Sam glared and said, "Let me guess…it taste just like meat?"
Danny nodded. Tucker jumped up and grabbed the carrot. "WOOHOO! Meat!" He took a bite out of the carrot and then spit it out, all over Sam and Danny. "THE NONMEATYNESS! IT BURNS MY TONGUE!"
Sam and Danny wiped the carrot bits off them and glared. "Just for the record, that's the third time I've had food spit on me today." Sam said.
"I don't get it," said Danny, "Why is it that all the food that I eat taste like meat and it doesn't for you guys?"
Sam thought for a second, "I know it is...wait! I think I have an idea!" She grabbed another carrot and handed it to Danny.
Danny raised an eyebrow. "If you think I'm going to eat that after the last one I…"
"No!" cried Sam, giving the carrot to Danny. "I need you to feed the carrot to me."
Tucker laughed, "AAhhhh…what's the matter? Little Sammykins needs big boy Danny to help feed her?" Sam stuck an apple in his mouth to shut him up. "Just do it!"
Danny shrugged his shoulders and placed the carrot into Sam's mouth. She chewed it for a second. Suddenly her eyes went wide and she spit out the carrot, all over Danny and Tucker.
"Hey! Only we can spit food!" the two cried.
Sam wiped her tongue. "THE MEATNESS! IT BURNS MY RECYCLE-VEGETAITION SELF!" she screamed.
Danny's eyes widened as the realization hit him. "I get it! Only the foods that I touch taste like meat."
"Just like the whole golden hand thing." Sam said.
Tucker's eyes went wide and grabbed Danny by the shoulders and shook him. "Why didn't you get this ghost power sooner!? Turn everything I touch into gold…or meat! I'm okay with either."
Danny pushed Tucker away. "Tucker, I'm not doing this! But I do think that a ghost is."
"But who?" ask Tucker.
Sam glared. "Oh I don't know. Who is it that we know that loves meat and hates Danny?"
"The Lunch Lady." The three said together in a monotone voice.
Danny still was confused. "But why!? I haven't done anything to her….at least not lately."
Tucker rolled his eyes at his clueless friend and said, "Dude, when do your enemies ever had a reason to torture you? Let's face it; you're like their favorite punching bag."
Danny glared at Tucker and said, "You know, amazingly, I don't think that helps."
Sam poked her spork through her salad angrily and said, "Danny's right Tucker! We have to find a way to stop this curse! There is no way that I'm letting my best friend be tortured by horrible meat!" With this she started stabbing her salad in a furious manner, spraying lettuce leaves everywhere.
"DOES ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MEAT!?"
Danny, Tucker, Sam, and about every kid in the cafeteria stopped what they were doing and looked up. Floating near the ceiling was the Lunch Lady, staring at the kids.
For a second, everyone was silent, and then Mikey let out a high pitched scream and cried, "GHOST! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" That started the riot. Students started screaming and most ran out of the room.
Danny stood up. "Guys, cover me!" he said as he jumped inside a trash can and transformed into the much more heroic, Danny Phantom.
He flew up to the Lunch Lady and shouted, "What evil scheme are you up to, Lunch Lady?"
The Lunch Lady had a blank look on her face. "Evil scheme? What are you talking about? I haven't done anything bad….not to you!" she said, innocently.
Danny rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah right! Next thing you're going to tell me is that you've decided to marry Undergrowth and become a vegetarian! There has to be an evil scheme! Why else would you make everything I touch taste like meat!?"
The Lunch Lady brightened and smiled. "Oh, so you've figured out that I did that! Nice little spell, isn't it? Makes everything the person considers food into meat. No need to thank me! Only doing my duty as a Lunch Lady for young teens."
Sam stood up and yelled furious at the Lunch Lady, "Thank you? Why would he thank you for making everything he touches turn into disgusting, horrible, vile…." She was quickly silenced by Tucker, who placed a hand over her mouth and shouted up at the Lunch Lady, "What she means is…..THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"
"TUCKER!"
"What!? It could be useful, having everything you touch turn into meat! Think about Thanksgiving!"
Danny shook his head and turned to the Lunch Lady. "Look, I know you might have had good intentions…whatever they may be…..but I really don't need this much meat in my diet….or my life."
The Lunch Lady blinked and asked, "Are you saying you don't like that gift that I generously gave you?"
"Uhhhh….yes?"
The Lunch Lady's eyes went red with fury as she grabbed Danny and screamed, "THEN IF YOU WON'T FEED ON MY MEAT, YOU WILL HAVE TO FEED ON MY FURY, HALFA!"
Danny blinked and muttered, "Why does it seem like everything any lunch lady tries to feed me wants to hurt me?"
The Lunch Lady growled at made a couple little meat monster come alive. She pointed at Danny and ordered, "Be a couple of dears and grab that Halfa, will you? SO WE CAN STUFF MEAT DONE HIS THROAT!"
The meat monsters shrieked and headed towards Danny. Danny glanced at them and muttered, "Great…more meat!" before flying away as fast as he could. The meat monsters gleefully continued to chase him. Tucker and Sam watched from a safer distance.
"We've gotta help him." Stated Sam from behind a trash can. She pulled a piece of banana peeling out her hair and asked, "And why are we hiding behind a trash can?"
"No clue. It seemed the safest place at the time." Answered Tucker.
"What time? Five seconds ago? Hey! Is this the tofu salad I gave you last week as a get well present?" asked Sam.
"Uhhhhh…."
"It is! Tucker! I dare you throw away a perfectly good tofu salad!" cried Sam accusingly at Tucker.
"Sam, no offense, but, to me, no tofu salad is perfectly good."
"Uh, guys? A little help here?!" cried Danny, dodging the meat monsters, who were now launching themselves at Danny from the lunch tables. One managed to grab hold of his leg.
"Coming Danny!" cried Tucker, rushing off to help Danny, but was stopped by Sam.
"Hold it, mister!" growled Sam, placing her hand in front of Tucker. She turned to Danny and said, "Sorry Danny, but Tucker has some explaining to do!"
"SAM!" cried Tucker and Danny.
"You are not talking your way out of this one, Tucker!" snapped Sam, ignoring Danny fighting to get the meat monster off him. "Really, I worked good and hard on that tofu salad, the least you could do is have the decency to try it!"
"But Sam…" began Tucker, watching as the other meat monster grab hold of Danny's other leg.
"No buts!" cried Sam, holding up the stinking, rotten tofu salad. "This is a delicious tofu salad that I expect you to eat!"
"No!" cried Tucker, pointing at Danny, who was now having trouble staying in the air, with two meat monsters overcoming his sense of balance.
"Yes, Tucker! I expect you eat it!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"But…."
"TRY IT!"
"WATCH OUT!" Yelled Danny as he completely lost his sense of balance and fell head first in….
"My tofu salad!" cried Sam, watching as Danny land head first the disgusting mess.
"YES! THE TOFU SALAD! Uh, I mean…I'm truly sorry about the salad, Sam." Lamented Tucker, though secretly glad that he didn't have to endure the disgusting creation that Sam had made him after he had recovered from his trip to the hospital.
Danny left his head, with was covered with the disgusting, rotten goo and smacked his lips together for a moment. Then the horrible taste filled his mouth and sent him into a horrible series of spasms.
"Eek! Gross! Disgusting! I'm poisoned! Inform the National Poison Department! Call the school nurse! Sue the Soy Bean Farm! I'm dying!" Cried Danny, clutching his throat in horror.
The Lunch Lady gasped and cried, "See! This is what happens when you give people false meat! I'm so glad I decided to place that meat spell on him."
Sam's eyes widened with realization. "Wait! Meat spell?" She ran over to Danny, grabbed him by the shirt, and shook him. "Danny! Danny! Focus! You said that everything you touched tasted like horrible meat!"
"Yes, horrible meat, but not as horrible as whatever that was!" moaned Danny, his face turning green.
"But that's the thing, Danny! It didn't taste like meat, didn't it!?"
Danny blinked, stood up, all the pain of the horrible taste forgotten, and commented, "You're right. I wonder why?"
Sam smiled triumphantly. "Well I do! The Lunch Lady said that she put a spell on you so that everything you consider food to taste like meat!"
"And Danny does not consider that whatever it is to be food!" gagged Tucker. "The spell must be broken!"
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed the Lunch Lady, enraged. "You broke my spell! You shall pay! You shall…." Suddenly she paused and said, in a gentle tone. "On second thought, let us finish this another time. Bye!" With that, the Lunch Lady and her two Meat Monsters disappeared in a flash, leaving the three teens utterly and sincerely confused.
"Well," said Tucker, "That was one of our weirdest experiences."
"Agreed." Agreed Sam.
Danny smiled and said, "Well, at least my taste buds are back to normal."
Suddenly the principal's voice came on on the school speakers. "Attention students. Because of the recent ghost attack, which destroyed almost all the food except for the last year's lunch meat, this week's entire lunch shall be 'Mystery Meat Week!' It is called 'Mystery Meat' because….well….we're not sure when the expiration date was on them. Oh well! Have a great lunch this week!"
Strix: I am too cruel! Again, sorry for the long wait! Hope you enjoyed it and please review!