Chapter 4 – A Place For Rest

"I can't believe you tore that chair apart like that!" said Obi-Wan while we were heading for the infirmary. "I've never seen such a strong Force grip, from anyone!"

"I can't believe it too!" I replied. "I mean, I know I can do it with the other hand, not this one! Ouch, it hurts!"

I heard Padmè sighing beside me as she kept a paper towel she had retrieved from the nearest restroom against the wound. "If you don't move your fingers it won't hurt that bad!"

"You must be pretty angry to do something like this."

"I was. I mean, he managed to piss me off really bad but now I'm a bit calmer." I said as finally the lift doors opened on the right level. "The only problem is that now I'm fucked!"

"You aren't. Darrick is talking him to reason, don't worry. He's going to suspend you for a couple of weeks then you'll return to active duty. End of the story. The Alliance needs you, and he knows it." said Padmè.

Obi-Wan opened the door of the infirmary and we got in. It wasn't a big place, probably it occupied only half of the total space of the floor, but it was functional and well equipped. It used to be always full when we had half of the army in the base but right now, it was empty. Most of the time, those who needed medical help had a bad cold or the flu, nothing more. A month before there was a sort of epidemic spread of the flu with the kids and we had ten of them in the infirmary for some nights with Aleha, Ahsoka and Darrick acting like mothers and father for them, after the second night they had dealt with them all by themselves, Padmè, Obi-Wan and I joined their efforts and managed to keep them calm and in their beds. Never underestimates a sick youngling, he might turn out to be incredibly tricky to handle. Probably, after those mad days, my case was the worst thing that could happen in that moment, without the army.

There was only one medic on call that morning.

Guess who he was?

As we closed the door behind us, I saw Janu lifting his head from his desk. His expression changed immediately. "You. Again. What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing, I just had an argument with Colonel Antilles." I replied! "I was angry!"

"He tore apart a chair. A steel chair!" stated Obi-Wan as Janu gestured me to sit on one of the beds. "And a sliver stuck in his palm."

Janu shook his head. "I can't believe it. You must be really fond of pieces of metal stuck in your flesh Kid! Are you sure you don't have a masochistic side you want to tell us about?"

I saw him bustling about his equipment and picking up some tools unfortunately I knew very well.

"Oh, he is a masochistic guy, that's for sure! I mean, look what happened to him!" joked my Master for a moment. "He has the nasty tendency to jump into troubles."

He shook his head again. "I noticed..." he hastily fetched a couple of gloves and wore them. "Come on Kid. Your hand here!" I pointed at a small mobile table. "And don't move!"

"I'll try."

Janu was looking for some anesthetics when Obi-Wan received a call from Aleha. "I'm sorry but I have to go. Aleha needs me upstairs."

"Don't worry about me. I got used at being stitched up from time to time!" I said. "Padmè, if you want to go..."

She looked a bit worried but her presence was useless. I knew she didn't like hospitals much, they made her nervous and edgy, it would be a torture for her to stay there with me even if Janu was already taking care of me.

"Are you sure you don't want some company?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I have all the company I need and you can't stand hospitals. I understand. Don't worry about me. I'll be downstairs as soon as he's done here."

"You need at least an hour with your hand in a bacta canister. There's likely a tendon damage." said Janu preparing the painkiller shot.

"Alright then. I'll go and pack the last things and prepare the ship. Call me as soon as you're done." she kissed me briefly then headed towards the door. "See you later!"

"See ya!"

After they had left, silence fell over the infirmary. Only the metallic clicking of Janu's instruments as he worked.

I leaned back on the reclined bed and sighed. "I should have expected something like this."

He stopped for a moment. "What?"

"This. I mean, we've been through this already, before the Empire. I should have known someone would have noticed strange movements at night!"

He chuckled and got back to his work. "You tried. You failed. Happens all the time. No problem."

"Antilles is going to kill me."

He shook his head. "No way. He knows how important you are. And if he says otherwise, he's just fooling around. Everyone in this base thinks you are one of our best men. No one is going to take it away from that."

"I got suspended until further notice and considering how angry he was earlier, this further notice is going come in a really long time!"

"How's it going? Does it hurt?" he asked then.

I shook my head. "Not too much, only when you move the splinter."

"Alright. I think you need more anesthetic."

"No, don't worry. I can take it. It's not as painful as the broken leg." I told him. "I can deal with it."

He sighed and inspected the wound a little better. "Ok. After all I'm halfway through it then it's only a matter of bacta." he said. "This time it's not that bad. Anyway, you're suspended. What does that mean?"

"I'm stuck with the kids' training. Not that I don't like it, I love it, it a great chance for learning new things myself, but I also love teaching at the pilot course and the workshop! I mean, I've been doing it for two years and it was amazing!"

"It means that in case they decide another attack like Daltarra you're stuck on ground!"

I nodded. "Yep. Up to know, I'm only half a Jedi in this conditions. I can't be as useful as I would like to be!"

"You're gonna be a full time teacher. You'll always be useful, no matter what Antilles say."

I sighed. "Thanks for the support Janu, I really appreciate it."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's a pleasure. Anyway, I was thinking...why don't you just get married again?"

"And you think I didn't think about it? Hell, it was one of the first things I wanted to do but we discovered a tiny marginal note about weddings on Naboo. There's a catch, and we discovered it a couple of months after Daltarra. By the laws of Naboo, a widow can't get married again for at least eighteen months after the spouse has been been declared dead. We still have six months before she can be officially declared single again."

"Wow...I didn't know that!" he said. "Maybe because I never got married."

"Never?" strange. I thought he was married with family!

He shook his head. "No, never. I had a long lasting relationship with the mother of my children but we never got married. We broke up about ten years ago and...well, she died not a full year later."

"I'm sorry..."

He chuckled. "Don't worry. I had time to recover. I still have wonderful memories of us and three adult children. Greatest accomplishment of my life." it was the first time he told me something about himself. He knew almost everything about me but we didn't know anything about him!

"Where are they?"

"The younger one is studying neurology and neurosurgery at Royal Naboo University. The eldest is an architect and Chora is a retired Royal Pilot, she got married a couple of years ago and now she teaches space engineering at the Royal Academy."

"Wow, you must be proud of them!"

"Of course I am! As much as you must be proud of your kids. And I hope you are..."

I laughed a bit. "Sure! But in a different way. They were their mother's pillars when I was away and they were barely seven years old. Yep, I'm proud of them! How is it going?"

He stopped his work for a moment and smiled. "Not bad. The damage to the tendons is reduced to a minimum, one hour with the bacta and you should be just fine. Itchy but fine. What are you going to do now?"

"We had planned a vacation on Naboo for the next three weeks, we should have left tomorrow but I think we are going to leave today. And then...I don't know. I guess I have to trust Darrick and his ability to persuade Antilles in reducing my punishment!" I told him.

He laid his instruments on the tray beside my wounded hand and sighed. "Ok, I'm done here. Wait here a second so I can prepare the canister. Roll up your sleeve please!" I obeyed and he turned around and fumbled with the equipment in the cabinets on the wall. "And for your situation, all I can tell you is to keep calm and stop worrying about what Antilles will do."

"How?" I asked then. "He hates me and he's in charge of this base. He's going to keep making my life miserable as long as he can!"

"Oh stop whining Anakin! You're not a kid anymore!" he snapped as he prepared the special bacta canister for my hand. It was a special design that allowed the patient to lay comfortably and not hanging his arm over the edge of a bucket. He encased my arm in the special canister and closed it, checking if the rubber gasket around my forearm was sealed. "You're a grown up man, you should be able to deal with authority by yourself!"

"I've always had problems with authority!" I replied. "Since I was a kid!"

"Then it's time to change your attitude! Antilles might be a whack when he wants to be, I know it, but he's not stupid! He knows he needs every able man he can gather here. He'll think about this and shorten your punishment. And if he doesn't...well, you're married to one of the founders of the Alliance! She surely can do something about this!"

He opened a cap on the top of the canister and poured the cold bacta in. At first it hurt a little, but as soon as the natural anesthetic started working, the wound on my palm suddenly went numb and it didn't hurt anymore.

"Easier said than done..." I said then.

He slapped me behind my neck. "Stop it, you're acting like a child! I can't stand those people who keep whining at the first difficulty of life! You've been through hell. Slavery, Jedi apprenticeship, the war, prison and then...well you know your own story! And now you're laying here whining instead of trying to find a solution!"

"What the heck can I do?" I snapped. "I'm a no-one! I'm a simple Jedi Knight, I'm not Anakin Skywalker!"

"You are, you just forgot what it means to be him! You've been hiding behind Atton Rosh's disguise for too long! Listen, as soon as I unleash you, I want you to leave this place. Get out of here, unplug your brain for a couple of days back on Naboo, enjoy your time with your family, you deserve that, but promise me you'll think about what I'm gonna say now." he was deadly serious, he was almost scary as serious as he looked in that moment. "Stop being Atton Rosh. Rosh is too meek, too gentle...too tame! This is war Kid, and you're battling on more than a front. You need to tear the old Anakin out of the corner, dust him off and stand up. Do something for the Force's sake!"

"What? What the heck do I have to do? March over the Imperial Palace and kill the Emperor in a duel?" I snapped back. I was exasperated. I couldn't understand what he wanted!

"Don't be stupid! That's not what I mean! I mean you have to do something for yourself. You need to be yourself! You're going to explode if you keep going on like this! You need to do something. I don't know...save a world, prepare a sapper squad and destroy another Imperial shipyard, I don't care. Just put those energies to use! Look what you did today. It's not yet nine in the morning and you already tore apart a steel chair! Shit Anakin you need to vent it out!"

"I know Janu, I know! I don't know what to damn it!"

We stared at each other for a moment then we both sighed and stopped for a moment the discussion.

He was right. I needed to do something for myself. I had been stuck in another person's identity for too long and it started to weight over me. The whole situation was a total mess and I couldn't find an exit. Atton Rosh was a great man. A devoted Jedi, a great mechanic and pilot, now he was an even more devoted boyfriend and stepfather of two wonderful kids...but underneath it all, I was frustrated. I was incredibly frustrated, even more than the year before, when I was literally boiling while waiting to get back my family.

I couldn't go on like that. Padmè kept telling me to relax a bit, to cut it loose and that vacation would help me it but in the end I would start it over again from the same place.

"Listen, I don't know what you want me to do. I have issues to take care, and not only this thing with Antilles. I have other problems going on and I have to find a solution for those too!"

"What problems?" he asked sitting down on his stool again, as he checked on my hand through the plastic harness.

"I...I had a dream, a couple of weeks ago. It was about an old friend. Actually, it was about Hilean's father."

"Jax?"

"Him. He wasn't in a great situation, I mean, he was battling against Darth Vader and he's a formidable opponent...but I think he's still alive. I don't know where he is, if he's ok or how he manages to survive but I'm sure he's still alive."

He chuckled. "What are you going to do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I...I don't really know. Every time I look at Aleha and Hilean I think about how happy I am with my family and how miserable is one of my best friend and the fact that there's a six years old girl that is convinced that her father is dead. A girl that one year ago helped me getting over a sever bout of depression simply hugging me when I needed it! It's just so unfair!"

"Then I feel you've found something to do." he said.

I didn't understand. "What?"

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "You'll realize it yourself. Don't worry."

An hour later, my hand was good enough to be released. I still had a thin reddish line where the steel had pierced the flesh. He cleaned the bacta residuals and put a bandage on it. "It's just to remind you to take it easy. You can pilot and do what you want but it will itch for a couple days but you should be perfectly fine."

"Thank you Janu. I really needed someone to talk to."

He signed my release sheet and smiled. "Anytime Anakin. Come anytime you need someone to talk to. I'm here!"

When I reached our apartment, everything was ready. Everything was packed and the twins were already looking forward to set their feet on the ship and fly straight for Naboo.

Padmè was taking care of the last things when I entered. "Hey there...how's your hand?" she asked.

"Fine. An hour in the bacta and it's fine." I replied. "You?"

"Ready to go. We just need to take these suits down to the hangar and then we're clear for flight."

I nodded. "Good. Squids, are you ready?"

The twins stormed out of their room with their tiny suitcases and backpacks. "Of course we are!"

"Yep, you're ready. So...what's stopping us?"

"Absolutely nothing dad!" said Luke.

"Sure, then...get out of this place and straight to the hangar!"

No need to say they took my advice literally.

We were halfway through the hallway when Padmè stopped for a second. "Oh, Darrick called about half an hour ago...he said he managed to tear out a two-months-long suspension. After that, you're clear for duty as normal. I guess it's not such a bad compromise."

"No, not bad indeed, but let's not talk about it now. I'm not in the mood!" I almost pleaded. I already had enough of Antilles and his overreacting bullshit for today!"

"How's your hand?" asked Leia then.

"Not bad. It itches a bit but it's fine. I've been worse!"

"Will you let mi pilot the ship?" asked Luke.

"When you're a little older Squid...you need to grow up a little more to pilot a ship of that kind." I told him when we reached the hangar. "And it's not a matter of age. It's a matter of height. You can't reach the pedals with those short legs!"

His shoulders sagged a bit. "Ok dad..." he mumbled.

Poor kid...he really hoped this time I would teach him how to pilot...during the last year I had often brought him with me during the short flights I took with my X-Wing to check if the improvements I had made worked or not, he sat on my lap and watched. Sometimes, when we were outside the planet atmosphere I let him pilot it for a very short time. He wasn't bad, but he still lacked the height to reach the farthest buttons and settings. Probably in a couple of years he would grow enough to fit the standard cockpit and I would start the first flight lessons but up to now, no, he was too young and too enthusiast to pay attention.

Anyway, right beside our ship, there was Artoo, taking care of the last few check ups before take-off.

I loaded our suitcases while Padmè took care of the kids. "How's the ship Artoo?"

He cheerfully reply with the usual series of beep and whistles. According to him, it was fine, ready to fly and with enough propeller for the return too.

"You're the best, you know that?"

"Oh, don't worry, he does know!" came Obi-Wan's voice from behind me. "You made him far too aware of that during the war, and he's still bragging about it!"

"Best astrodroid ever built. And the nicest one too!" I replied packing the last suitcase in the compartment. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing I did about a year ago. Wishing you a good vacation and lots of rest. You really need it."

"Thank you. You know, a vacation would do great even for you!" I said wiping my hands on my pants before we shook hands.

"Not now. Aleha needs me, and Ahsoka too. And we are lucky enough we don't have to pretend to be someone else all the time!"

"I know. But probably it's better now. I mean, they know it and we have a little more freedom now but yet...it's still a mess."

"Don't worry, everything will get better. Now, don't think about this, enjoy your stay on Naboo and whatever you do, do it carefully!"

I couldn't understand clearly the last sentence. "What are you trying to tell me?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Nothing Anakin, just don't do something foolish!"

"I'm the king of foolish things Master!" I replied.

"That's why I'm asking you to be careful. About everything! And now go, or your wife is going to kill me. Have fun and take care!" he hugged me then let me go.

"I will Master. I will."

Soon after that, when we had been cleared by the docking authority of the base, we were flying to Naboo.

Things were going to get interesting in the span of some hours.

A bit better I hope this time. Some of the issues I have at home are getting fixed and I'm getting my usual spring insomnia therefore I write like a maniac. Just last night I wrote half of a future chapter on paper! If tonight I'll have more difficulties at sleeping I might even finish the next chapter by tomorrow. (and considering the insanely high amount of coffee I had today I will definitely have another round of insomnia tonight.

Anyway, I hope you liked it. I keep receiving incredibly good feedback about this story and I've posted only three chapters, four with this one. It's amazing. Seems like even Over The Hills And Far Away is getting new fans. Thanks for everything, it's just so incredible!

Oh, just one minor detail about chapter 2: when Anakin is talking about Yavin he says he might even live on Korriban but not on Yavin. Korriban is a small, desert planet in the Outer Rim where many Sith Lords were buried when they died, thousands of years before the movies. It's a sort of sanctuary of the Dark Side Of The Force, much like Dagobah, and for a borderline Jedi like Anakin it might be very difficult to live there because of this cumbersome presence of the Dark Side.

Have fun and see ya!