Thanks for being so patient, here ya go! Again I don't own any of the characters.

Chapter 4 Letting Go

I didn't ask for this. Why kid myself, no one would. I sat staring into the blood covering my arms as I shuttered. Keira's voice burned as the room fell quiet. Closing my eyes I quickly stood backing away the cold bodies of the guards away from us. Taking another deep breath the pain spiked in my ribs and side. Groaning I fell gripping my side. Blood seeped through my fingers as I lay on my side. I laid my head as far as I could back, resting on the monstrous horns. While more and more blood seeped I could feel the eco begin to attack my own body, draining me even more quickly as the blood puddle around me. Daxter pounced on my shoulder peering over into my face, his eyes wide with fear,

"Jak… Jak… come on… get up… come on Jak."

Wheezing up blood my smile cracked over my fanged teeth as I groaned,

"Don't worry Dax… Dax…"

Eyes slowly fading Daxter became blurry as the blood drained. Keira still sat behind me a good distance away her breath slowly increasing. As Daxters attempts to wake me slowly faded from me all I could concentrate on were the ever increasing breaths of Keira. From what I could tell she was crying; her breaths short heavy heaves of air. Then a warm touch gently cradled my face. Knowing it was Keira I sprung back from the darkness that held me and all the sounds and lights sprang at me all at once. Growling I stumbled away from her grip hissing,

"Stay back… don't… don't come near me. I don't want to hurt you…please."

Falling to my knees I heaved up more blood as more and more pain coursed thought my body. The monster still had a grip on my form but my mind had enough strength to hold on to myself. Allowing me to control it for now I could hear Keira slowly approach behind me. Body shaking I threw a hand back warning her under a weak growl,

"I don't want to kill you… I don't want to be responsible, not for you too."

Ignoring me she gently took hold of my outstretched wrist and whispered,

"Don't be an idiot and quit being a hero for once. You talk about responsibility and how you can't stand to see me hurt? Well I can't just sit here and do nothing. I care about you and I can't watch you bleed out on the floor. Get up or I'll drag you damn it."

Tears muffled her voice as I turned to face her. Dropping my eyes I let myself go limp as she carefully threw my arm around her. As Keira began the slow drag I could feel Daxter tug at my leg. Carefully opening my eyes trying my best to hide the disgusting blackness away from her I could make out what seemed to be a large platform. The room smelt of oil and fuel as she laid me flat on the cold ground. Daxter sat next to me gripping my face again pleading again and again to open my eyes and say something. Tossing a grimacing look as the platform rumbled and began to rise. As it came to a slow stop I could feel myself slowly returning to normal. Finally able to open my eyes I blinked rapidly as the light blinded me. It was only until Keira blocked out the lights from them looking over me, tears falling gently on my cheek.

"Oh Jak…"

I couldn't but help but to look away as her eyes wandered and pain and fear began to consume her face. Covering her mouth she gently traced down to the gaping wound. I could still hear blood drip down onto the floor as Keira gasped. It didn't surprise me as much as it did the others but as if perfectly cued the communicator began to hum and spit,

"You little fucker… where the hell are you? Damn it you little shit answer me…"

Keira almost angrily pulled it from my pocket whimpering,

"He's… He's not doing so well right now. I think that you should get down here now with some help… I don't think he's going to…"

Keira couldn't even finish as the tears choked her again. Torn just sighed cursing under his breath and the line went dead.

I didn't take long but it felt like forever having Keira sitting only feet away staring. I felt horrible as it was that this all happened in front of her. Even worse was the questions of what she was thinking, what she now thought of me and the fear she tried to hide behind her smile. Daxter sat in Keira's lap trying to explain what he could to her. She didn't have too many questions to ask him but one's like 'how long', 'when he found him', 'where he had been all these years'. Everyone was riding on the basics, never venturing to the real questions that they really wanted to ask. I knew that with her quick glances she would ponder up another just to push aside. Leaning my head back I could hear a vehicle stop outside, heavy footsteps yet quick coming down the long hallway. It wasn't until they reached the bloody mess outside did they slow. Keira rushed to the entrance of the doorway. Torn glared her aside as he walked into the room. He didn't even flinch at the blood that had gathered at my side and floor below me. Walking up to the platform the rain still hanging on him splashed onto me as grabbed my hair jerking my head closer to his. Keira gasped hiding a scream as Daxter scowled at him,

"Don't think that dying is going to get you out of explaining what the hell is all going on."

"A guard recognized me, followed me here and shot me. The two bodies are in the other room."

Torn looked away from me and let my head fall back down onto the table. Sighing he looked back toward Keira then back to me.

"You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out. You have three days to get back to HQ and report to me. Then we'll assess what to do next. Don't screw this up Jak."

I didn't bother to wait until Torn left to close my eyes and finally get some rest. But the last thing I heard was him shutting the door behind him and Keira begin to cry.

Waking up I hadn't moved much on the cold steel platform. It was now lowered and I was covered with a small blanket. Still lying on my back I could see that it was still dark outside and from what I could tell it was still raining. Quietly I tried to sit up and look around but my weak body wouldn't allow that. Groaning I fell back down quietly cursing at myself and clutching the wound with my hand. The bleeding at stopped but the flesh was still torn. The Dark eco in my body was burning below the skin pulling the pieces together again. Sighing I looked around again for any sign of Daxter or Keira. Next to me slept Daxter curled into a small ball over top of the blanket that covered my legs. Trying to carefully slide out I managed to wake a mumbling and angry Daxter,

"Where the hell do you think you're doing… lay back down, you'll just hurt yourself."

Ignoring Daxter I balanced myself off of the other raised platforms. My legs weak from sitting began to gain strength as I hobbled around looking for my things. Keira didn't deserve to be sucked into my madness with me. She had a live for two years that served her well and I wasn't going to mess it up. As I wandered I passed Keira's room and stopped. I could hear her slow breathing and grumbles as she stirred. I couldn't help but wish for the old days when I was just a little mute with a crush. Shaking the thoughts out of my head I knew that it was foolish to wish for the past. The condition I was in was something that just wasn't going to go away. Turning to continue my search Keira peeked out from behind the door. Daxter happened to walk down the room just at the same time and I knew I was in for a scolding.

"What do you think you're doing Jak? Get back in there and go back to bed. You shouldn't be walking around!"

Keira didn't say anything as she held the door between us. I didn't look directly at her, only a quick glance, but I could tell that she was still afraid of it, me.

"Dax, I'm fine. But you heard Torn; we have to get back…"

Daxter laughed an obnoxious crackle and pointed back at me,

"Funny, he said you have three days. Now come on before you freak out."

Turning back towards Daxter I glared down at him. The mentioning of it gave Keira a shutter as I turned toward her. Her face was drowned in confusion and fear. Now directly looking at her she turned her head away slowly closing the door. Shaking my head I flipped off Daxter turning away frustrated from her room and stormed down the hallway. Daxter followed like a broken record repeating again and again the same order to lie down and rest. Gathering up my weapon, tattered clothing and some food I hobbled back to gather up the last of my things by the platforms. Daxter was now spitting the orders in my face as I bent down to grab the blanket. Frustrated beyond what I should have been I growled at Daxter,

"Shut up Daxter. Just shut the fuck up. I don't need you to be on my ass too alright? Torn already has it in for me and now you? Damn it Daxter…"

Jumping to my feet I rubbed my eyes desperately trying to calm myself down. Daxter slumped down as I pointed hissing,

"Keira wasn't supposed to know Dax. It's bad enough as it is and you decide to bring it up again. Damn it Dax, think!"

Signing and pacing around the platforms I shook my head.

"I'm done Dax. Do me a favor and don't follow me. Just leave me alone alright? Stay here if you want but just leave me alone."

Grabbing the gun mod I threw it over my shoulder into its straps. I didn't even want to look back as I left. I knew Daxter was mad at me but I need to get away from it all. Walking quicker now I passed Keira's doorway hoping to avoid another confrontation, but the door sat wide open and Keira gone. Slowing I looked around for her still continuing out. Glancing throughout the rooms I entered the front room, the exit just on the other side. But as my hand pushed against the door I stopped. A soft and gentle plead echoed in the room as my hand rest against the door.

"Jak?"

Letting my hand slid down the door I could hear Keira quietly approach from behind me. Frightened of what might happen if I loss control I threw out a monotone warning,

"Don't come any closer…"

"Why do you do this to yourself Jak? Isolating yourself is not an answer Jak. Your constantly hurting yourself, and for what cost?"

Relaxing my body I prepared myself against the darkness within myself and centering my thoughts.

"I killed them Keira. People are dead because of me. You know that as well as I do and staying here won't change anything either. The scary part about it all is I don't know which part of me is the monster…"

Keira shook her head reaching out toward me but I threw myself away from her, my body shaking in the anger that now grew.

"Why do you care about what happens to me? Fuck, no one cares and neither should you!"

Keira shuttered back, her eyes lowered and closed she raised her hands,

"Jak, calm down. Just calm down and please listen to Daxter and I. Just listen to my idea… please."

Groaning I turned away agitated I ran my hand over my face, trying to calm myself to listen to another plead.

"You have nowhere to go. Please, just stay here just until you find a sturdy place. You need to get back on your feet; you and Dax both need a roof over your head. And another thing while we are on topic, I never stopped caring Jak. I… I…"

Cutting off short I couldn't see her face but I could hear her voice begin to choke. Sighing I turned to the wiggling chinned near sobbing face of Keira. I reached out to hold her, gently setting my things on the ground. Keira took the sign to far jumping toward me, catching me off guard I shuttered back. Shaking my head I whispered as Keira bowed her head still leaning in for my embrace,

"I'm sorry. I… I just can't trust myself. Please don't make this hard for me."

Picking up my things I carefully maneuvered past her heading back to the platform. Daxter had abandoned his post; the blanket he was on was still warm. From the corner of my eye I saw a small glance of orange dart into Keira's room. Alone I undressed into my more comfortable clothes and closed my eyes, hoping for a dreamless night.

That morning I redressed the wounds, almost all completely healed and hardly scarring. After securing my gun to my back I shuffled my way into the kitchen. Keira had left out a pan of freshly cooked eggs with bacon and toast sitting neatly in piles along the counter. Grabbing what my stomach could hold I shoveled it down just as Daxter and Keira walked in.

"Oh good, I'm glad you found the food. I didn't know when you were going to wake up; it's almost 10."

Nodding I continued to eat as Daxter popped up next to me.

"You know you can thank her for breakfast… and you can breathe while you eat too, we are in no hurry."

Looking up from the plate of food I managed to see Keira's eyes dash away from mine. I sighed as Keira whispered looking over at Dax.

"It's fine. He doesn't have to say anything."

Daxter threw me a 'what the hell' glare then hopped back to Keira's side.

"Just like old times, I have to say hearing Jak talk is something I even have to get used to."

With a weak smile she nodded as best as she could. Finishing I stood nodding off to Dax as I walked down the hall. Walking outside I walked to the edge of the ledge and watched the rain pour. It had been raining now for three days, getting close to winter. Rubbing my eyes I could already fell the pressure of the eco behind my eyes. This pain, this new life I had to live… how much longer would I be able to even look at Keira, see her before I hurt her? Shaking my head I leaned up against the wall slowly sinking down to the floor letting my body go limp. Just as I leaned my head back and my eyes closed I could hear the door swing open again. Turning my head back toward the door I sighed turning back to the rain pulling my knee to my chest shifting my back toward her. Slowly Keira sat next to me. Her hands were gently folded over her knees her head resting on her knee tilted toward me. Her eyes were just staring at me. I didn't dare turn to look at her but the burning urge to glace back at her was unbearable.

"I didn't want this to happen this way; I didn't want any of this."

"And who says I didn't want to know what had happened to you, I thought you were dead."

An anguished smile stretched across my face. With a weak and painful laugh I answered her.

"I would have been better off dead. Out of everything I've done there has always been a consequence. I can't even go through a day without a sickening thought of killing someone, ripping someone apart. Keira, I'm not the same and I'm sorry but you have to realize that."

"I just want to see you smile again. I miss the boy that would dumbly smile at me even when the answer was no. I miss that Jak… I miss you."

Frustrated I clenched my fist throwing in down next to me.

"And you don't think that I miss that too? I didn't want this Keira but This Thing that I am, it's stuck with me and I'm sorry but you either have to deal with it or forget me. I don't know how much longer my body will even be able to sustain me and it for much longer! The line between me and it… I don't know where it's drawn."

Shaking my head I stood leaving Keira sitting on the ground. Walking out into the rain I stopped from the small whisper behind me.

"Please…please promise me you will come back. At least promise me that."

Looking over my shoulder back to her I could see she had stepped out into the rain after me. The rain covered her face, pulling her hair down her checks. I could tell that she was crying from her jagged breathing but the rain blended everything together. Turning away from Keira, having to leave Daxter behind, and knowing I might not make it back I couldn't help but choke up. I didn't show it but everything in my world was behind me, this thing that walked away was the monster that I had become.

Thanks for reading, and hopefully I will be posting the next chapter soon.

TEKOPUPPYLUV