Severus Snape strode down to his private laboratory, shaking his head. What was he supposed to do with the girl? Albus had left some hours ago, where he had no idea. He should be here. Granger needed someone she could talk to, someone she could feel comfortable with, someone other than him. Snape shut the door to his laboratory and winced as the sound of it shutting echoed loudly. Minerva was the obvious choice but she was in Australia doing work for the Order and he doubted that she could be contacted. He rubbed his temples trying to concentrate, to think of a female figure that could be of help to her. Molly Weasley, perhaps? He didn't know how close they were but she was her best friends mother... maybe Professor Sprout... Trelawny? Anyone was better than him. After all what was he supposed to do with her? Pat her on the head and tell her that things would turn out for the best? If only it were that easy.
This was all his fault.
Severus tried not to allow himself to think about the real reason that he was looking after her. If it hadn't been for him then she would've been far less traumatized. He should have saved her sooner. He opened one of his cabinets and pulled out a burn salve. Now the fool child had gone and burned herself. What was he supposed to do? He knew that he should be more understanding but right now he would rather be at Spinner's End, in his private laboratories, working. Instead he was playing nursemaid.
He deserved it.
With the salve in hand he walked back up the stairs to her room. Knocking on the door and receiving no answer he opened it anyway. She was laying in bed just as he had left her, staring up at the ceiling with a vacant expression. For a moment he wanted to turn around and leave. Caring for people was a talent that he had long ago forgotten. He kept telling himself that all he had to do was make sure that she was fed and did no harm to herself but he wanted to make her better in ways that no potions and salves could fix. He wanted to undo what had been done to her.
"I've got something that will heal your skin."
No answer.
She didn't even blink.
Severus resisted the urge to sigh in frustration and once again wished he were far away. He sat the jar of salve on the table figuring that sooner or later she would use it. He stood there not knowing whether to stay or go. He wasn't entirely sure that if he left she wouldn't do further harm to herself.
He sat down in one of the chairs figuring that he would simply wait for the Headmaster to get back and then they would discuss who would be better suited to care for her. As responsible as he felt, it wasn't helping either one of them for him to be there. She obviously didn't trust him, didn't like him, or even respect him. There was nothing that he could offer to make her well. He couldn't be a confidant, he couldn't be anything to her. She needed what he couldn't offer and he wasn't going to make things worse by following his misguided sense of duty.
Severus closed his eyes. Sleep had been eluding him these last few weeks and the lack was finally starting to catch up with him. It was strange but during the school year he usually slept well, in a deep, dreamless sleep. It was during the summer when the stress started to get to him. Plans of the Order and of the Dark Lord dancing through his head. Wondering constantly if he was doing the right thing. He never doubted his allegiance to Dumbledore but frequently he wondered if he was going about things the right way. Following Voldemort's orders, doing despicable things in the name of helping the Order sometimes made him want to escape and watch the happenings from the sidelines. He was too involved with both groups to escape now. He smothered a yawn and looked over at Hermione. Her eyes were closed now but whether or not she was sleeping he couldn't tell. Closing his eyes he decided that after a little nap maybe they'd both be in better moods.
Severus woke up a few hours later and a glance towards the window revealed that it was early evening. He looked over towards the bed and Hermione was still asleep. He sat there for a moment enjoying the silent and stillness of the room. He wanted to go down to his chambers and turn in for the night but his stomach had other plans. He was starving and he decided that he would stretch his legs, go downstairs, and have the house elves prepare a meal for he and the girl.
On his way downstairs he stopped by the Headmasters office but it was empty. He had figured it would be.He went to the kitchen and asked the house elves to prepare a meal for he and Hermione and then he went back to her room. It was starting to cool down outside so with a flick of his wand he started a fire in the fireplace and turned on the lights in the room. She didn't stir and he walked over to her debating on how to wake her up with out startling her. He gently shook her and she bolted upright and he nearly jumped back at the sudden movement.
"It's time for you to wake up, Miss Granger," he said using a schooled, authoritative tone.
"I don't want to," she said turning over and he was reminded of why he had never even entertained the notion of having children. It was still a miracle that he had gotten through his teaching career with out murdering any of his students. It was very rare that she had ever been insubordinate to him and he wondered if it was an effect of what had happened or simply exhaustion.
"I may no longer be your Professor, Miss Granger, but at the moment you are in my care, thus you will do as I say."
She sat up and turned toward him and he expected to see her defiant or resentful, but she simply climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. He turned and found that the house elves had delivered the food and set it out on the table by the fireplace. He sat down and tucked a napkin securely in the collar of his robes. He wanted to take his meal down to his chambers but he also wanted to make sure that she ate. Hermione came out of the bathroom a few moments later and sat down in the arm chair that was next to his. She grabbed a plate and sat indian-style with her plate balanced on her lap. He began to eat the turkey smothered in gravy and he watched from the corner of his eye as she listlessly picked at her food.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked after awhile. He was nearly finished and she hadn't taken more than a few bites.
"No."
"Eat anyway."
She picked up her fork and stuck it into the mashed potatoes. When he was reassured that she was getting food into her body he turned his attention back to his own meal. What was he supposed to say? He wanted to relieve the uncomfortable tension in the air but he had never been one to make polite conversation. He didn't know what she would like to talk about. There were always academic things. Severus had been very impressed with her final potion's project. She had created a new antidote to the Veritaserum potion. He had been very impressed by her ability to not only brew the Veritaserum but to counteract it's effects. True, there was already a proven antidote but with a little more work he thought that her formula could easily surpass it. He was saved from having to speak by a knock at the door followed by Dumbledore entering.
"Miss Granger, you're looking well this evening." She didn't look up from her plate, it was as if she hadn't even heard him. He wondered what thoughts she was thinking.
"Severus, a word out in the hall?"
He sat his napkin on the table, stood up and followed Albus out into the hall.
"How has she been doing?" Dumbledore asked quietly.
He shrugged, "I have no idea. I think it would be best if you had someone else here to assist in her care. Someone female perhaps?"
"I'm open to suggestions, Severus. Minerva of course would be my first choice but we've had no word from her for the last few days and I hate to call her away from her mission. You know that Bill Weasley barely escaped with his life from an attack and Molly Weasley is in Egypt tending to him."
Severus furrowed his brow in concentration trying to think of people with whom she was close to. Anyone would be better than him. "Hagrid. The girl has always got on well with him." He felt a little ridiculous suggesting the half-giant. He didn't think Hagrid was exactly the best fit for this situation but then again neither was he.
"Hagrid's work with the giants is crucial, I'm afraid there is no way for him to come back until his work with them is complete. I can always send her to St. Mungo's, we can take extra precautions to keep her safe there."
"And have her stuck in a ward with the insane in a place she doesn't know? I hardly think that any option at all." He couldn't imagine her being stuck in a bed there with Gilderoy Lockhart and the Longbottoms wandering around out of their minds.
"Then the task must fall to us and with my duties calling me away..."
"I'll watch over her," he said with a heavy sigh, "At least until she is well enough to take care of herself."
Dumbledore smiled, though it was devoid of it's usual humor, "Then she stays. If you'll excuse me I think I will go lay down, it's getting late."
Severus nodded and bid him good night. He was worried about Dumbledore. He was looking older and run down lately. He was doing too much, spreading himself too thin. Severus wasn't sure how long he would be able to continue on with his work before he ran himself into his grave. He had long thought of Dumbledore as the father figure that he'd never had and just the thought of him not being around filled him with a sadness that he rarely felt.
He walked back into Hermione's room and found her back in bed her eyes closed. He hoped for her sake that she was truly asleep but he couldn't tell. He covered her with a blanket, cleared the table, and then made his way back to his chambers hoping that she would sleep through the night.
In the early hours of morning Hermione lay awake in her bed. She hadn't slept at all. She'd come close a few times but right before she drifted off she would see Lucius' face or hear his voice in her head and all thoughts of sleep would be driven from her mind. It was quiet. She closed her eyes hoping this time she would be able to sleep, to stop thinking and be able to rest without voices and faces haunting her. She startled and her eyes flew open as thunder boomed outside and seemed to shake the very castle itself. She pulled her knees up to her chest and listened to the great rumbling noise. She looked across the room, to the clock on the wall, it was just after eight in the morning.
Hermione wearily got out of bed and made her way to the window. She opened it and leaned out, her arms resting on the window sill. She could feel the tension in the air as the early summer sky was blotted out by the dark rain clouds ready to unleash their fury on the world. Thunder sounded through out the room and it was so loud that it seemed to shake the very foundation of Hogwarts. She closed her eyes. She loved storms, loved the smell of the wet earth, the sound of rain drops hitting the window. She had always loved the feeling of being safe inside, protected from the elements. As she opened her eyes lightening flashed across the sky followed by more thunder. Well, she had learned that safety was nothing more than an illusion. She would never be safe again, would never feel safe again. She had the urge to be out in the middle of the storm, surrounded by the chaos and the fury of nature.
She didn't bother changing out of her nightgown as she walked across the room, opened the door, and went out into the hall. Her bare feet silently moved across the floor as she made her way downstairs and through the castle. Hermione got to the Entrance Hall and when she opened the large doors she was buffeted by a strong wind. She took a step outside and shut the door behind her. It hadn't started to rain yet as she walked towards a spot of open ground. This was going to be no light summer shower but a full blown storm. The heavens thundered and Hermione stood, her arms open, ready to embrace it and, as if she commanded nature itself, it began to rain.
It seemed as if the rain was unleashed all at once and within seconds she was completely soaked but she didn't care. She laughed and twirled around as lightening arced across the sky. This was freedom. This was living. She ran her fingers through her hair, already heavy with rain, and for the first time since she'd woken up here she felt really alive. There were no thoughts or struggles within her head not to remember, there was only wind, and rain, and thunder. Nothing mattered but the cold droplets of water that clung to her skin and the thunder that roared it's anger at the world in a way that she couldn't.