REVISED 13/09/17

CHAPTER FOUR - NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS

It's time to begin, isn't it?

I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit

I'm just the same as I was

Now don't you understand?

That I'm never changing who I am

It's Time ~ Imagine Dragons

…

NALI

The clouds above me drifted by lazily, the grass beneath my fingertips was soft and the sun was shining. It really could've been the perfect day, if it wasn't from the incredibly annoying and loud snores that were escaping my best friend's mouth. My left eyebrow was twitching as I turned my death glare on Mei, who remained peacefully unaware of the many torturous ways I was planning on waking her with. She was lying face first in the grass, her normally perfect hair a halo of frizz around her face, hiding the fact that she was probably drooling.

Poking her in the side, I smothered my giggles as she grumbled and rolled over.

"Mei," I tried shaking her gently, but she just swatted at me half-heartedly.

Mei muttered under breath, before pulling her bag which was currently disguised as a pillow closer to her chest. Her dress was rumpled, and she had one sock higher than the other.

"Mei!" I elbowed her and she shot up, her hair flying around her face.

"What?!" she turned to scowl at me, rubbing her face with a groan.

"You were drooling," I informed her with a smirk.

She groaned, falling back onto the grass. Ignoring her, I calmly pulled out my bento box, crossing my legs in order to get comfortable.

"How long was I asleep for?"

"About five minutes," I replied, digging around in my satchel for my chopsticks.

Empty crisp packets rattled and battered textbooks thumped together as I hunted through the bag. It was falling apart by the seams, and I'd had to re-stitch it up so many times I had lost count. I just didn't have the heart, or the money, to replace it.

"Aha!" I pulled the chopsticks out triumphantly, ignoring the bewildered look Mei shot me from where she was sprawled on the ground.

"What the heck are you doing?" she asked me curiously.

"Eating, duh," I unwrapped my box eagerly, popping open the lid and savouring the smell of my chicken fried rice.

"Well keep it down, I'm trying to sleep here."

"You're just going to end up snoring again," I muttered between mouthfuls of rice.

"You know I can't help it. My dad kept me out late last night, I didn't get much sleep," She rubbed her face with her hands sleepily, before glaring at the sun from underneath her hands as if it had offended her by shining.

"How did your big meeting go?" I asked curiously, twirling my chopsticks between my fingers.

"About as well as could be expected," She muttered from behind her hands.

"Of course, I forgot how these meetings usually go," I smacked my forehead mockingly. "You bat your eyelashes at the men and make googoo eyes and kissy faces and they all fall at your feet, right?"

"Oh no, you have uncovered my evil plan to take over the world! Whatever shall I do!" Mei exclaimed dramatically, holding a hand to her forehead.

I snorted at her idiocy before returning to my lunch. Mei was one of the most dramatic people I knew, besides Uncle Yori of course. Although Tamaki was quickly catching up.

I'd been dreading school this morning, another run in with the Host Club was something I really didn't need to deal with. And so upon my arrival to class, I had ducked under my table until the bell rang and had avoided Tamaki and Kyoya at all costs much to the bewilderment of my friend.

Unfortunately, Kyoya had quickly spotted me even with all of my sneaking about. Fortunately, he didn't point me out to Tamaki, so in a way I guess my mission was a success.

And now I was seriously considering a job as a spy. Although with my skills it was unlikely to happen anytime soon.

"What about your delivery?" Mei asked, cutting through the rendition of the James Bond theme tune in my head.

"Meh," I replied noncommittally, skirting around the matter.

Don't let her know about the goo incident…or the running away! My inner self was jumping up and down with a frustrated face.

"What exactly does meh mean?" Mei sat up, eyeing me suspiciously.

Damn, she caught on to me.

"It…uh…means…" It trailed off uncertainly, avoiding her gaze.

My mind wandered to the encounter with the Host Club, my shoulders dropping in despair. It hadn't exactly been a normal meeting, although Haruhi had seemed nice though, and Kyoya didn't seem that bad when he wasn't being creepy. And I certainly didn't think because he was devilishly handsome.

Not that I thought he was devilishly handsome or that I even thought about him at all. Not even about his cool grey eyes, or the way his glasses had flashed in the light, or about his smirk.

Nope, I hadn't thought about him at all.

Although, now that I mentioned it, he certainly looked like a devil when he was doing the creepy staring.

"Tanaka-kun?" A familiar voice asked from behind us, breaking through my thoughts.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Haruhi?" I blinked up at the guy as he stood there awkwardly.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't the exact person I was thinking about, but Haruhi was a host so it counted. Kind of.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the Host Club?" I asked tilting my head in confusion.

Haruhi shrugged walking across the courtyard towards us, with a bento box in his hand.

"I usually eat on my own. I find that the Host Club is easier to deal with in small doses," He smiled down at us kindly.

"Oh," I replied stupidly as he towered over us.

What do I say? What do I SAY?! I tried not to repeat my gaping episode, but I was miserably failing.

"Would you like to sit us?" I turned to face Mei, who had sat up and was now smiling at Haruhi with what I liked to call her I'm-Planning-Something-Evil grin.

"I wouldn't want to intrude." Haruhi trailed off uncertainly.

"It's fine, it's not like we're doing anything important," Mei shrugged, keep her gaze concentrated on my lunch.

"Don't even think about it," I muttered holding up my chopsticks threateningly. Mei rolled her eyes, and attempted to nab some of my lunch anyway. I smacked her with my chopsticks, scowling at her playfully.

"Get your own lunch, Mei."

"I can't, I have no money aaaaand I forgot my bento," she whined hiding her face in her hands.

"Idiot," I stuck my tongue out at her.

"You can have some of mine," Haruhi offered as he sat down beside us on the grass.

"Really?" Mei turned to him with sparkling eyes and I had to smoother my giggles at her adoring expression.

Haruhi nodded hesitantly and Mei lurched forward with a squeal.

I wondered if Haruhi knew what he had created. The relationship between Mei and food was a confusing one, to say the least. All I knew for sure was that you never get between Mei and food. Not unless you're in the mood to become a human sandwich.

"Mei Sarutobi, by the way," She muttered between mouthfuls of food, "Nali's best and only friend,"

Groaning at her frankness, I hid behind my hands. Haruhi probably already thought we were weird enough, he really didn't need to know that Mei was my only friend.

"You make me sound like a lonely cat lady," My voice was muffled underneath my palms and I glimpsed wearily at them between the gaps in my fingers.

"You are a crazy cat lady," Mei retorted and I scowled at her.

Haruhi only chuckled at us, before holding out his hand.

"Haruhi Fujioka," Mei shook his hand with a thoughtful expression.

I mentally gulped at the look in Mei's eyes, supressing the need to run away.

This doesn't look good.

"So Haruhi, I was wondering…are you a girl?"

My inner self keeled over anime style.

"Mei! You can't go around asking people personal stuff like that!" I exclaimed, my eye twitching.

"It's…okay," Haruhi stuttered nervously, "How did you figure it out?"

Mei studied Haruhi, before shooting me a look as if it was obvious how she figured it out. Was it obvious? I mean, Haruhi had quiet feminine looking features, and large brown eyes and small hands but that didn't mean that –

Holy Crackers! Haruhi is a girl!

"It's kinda obvious, for one you don't have an Adams apple."

Now that Mei mentioned it Haruhi looked nothing like a guy, except for her short hair. My inner self was banging her head off a wall, wondering why we hadn't noticed this before.

Haruhi wrung her hands together nervously.

"You won't tell anyone will you?"

"No," Mei replied shortly, giving Haruhi a look that clearly said who would believe me if I tried.

"It's not our business why you dress like a guy," I added returning to my rice.

"I owe the club eight million yen because I knocked over a vase."

"Eight million yen!" Mei shrieked, trying to add that up on her fingers.

I let out a low whistle, while Haruhi looked sheepish.

"I couldn't afford to pay them back, so I'm repaying my debt through hosting."

"But, how did you get into the hosting in the first place? Surely they knew you were a girl?" Mei asked, leaning against her hand.

"It's a long story."

"We've got time," I replied with a smile twirling my chopsticks in my fingers.

Haruhi smiled before launching into her story. Mei and I listened on in enraptured silence, gasping at all the right moments.

"So Tamaki really had no idea you were a girl?" I asked between mouthfuls of chicken.

"At all?" Mei added with an astonished look.

Haruhi shook her head with a grin as she thought back to Tamaki's expression.

"His expression must've been priceless," Mei giggled while I grinned.

Haruhi laughed with us, her brown eyes dancing with amusement. I guess the Host Club really wasn't all that bad, I mean Haruhi did look pretty happy when she was talking about them and their antics.

My phone blared loudly from inside my satchel and I lunged towards it. OOTORI MEDICAL was spelt across my screen in large letters. Dread pooled deep in my stomach, this really didn't look good. I smiled sheepishly at my friends.

"I have to take this. Do you mind?" The two girls exchanged a look before shaking their heads.

As I accepted the call, I watched amused as Mei asked Haruhi how the club actually worked before they launched into a discussion.

"Hello?" I said trying to keep my voice steady.

"Hello, I am looking for Nali Tanaka. Is she available at the moment?" a soft voice floated through the phone.

"Yes, this is she."

"We're just calling to confirm that you are free this Sunday at…one o'clock for the first of your appointments?"

I froze baffled. When had I called to book an appointment? Hold on a minute…what was this appointment for?

"I'm sorry?"

"We have you down for a consultation with your doctor regarding your recent results. Your uncle called ahead and booked it for this Sunday," the nurse stated in-between the rustling of papers and the dim background noise of the hospital.

Oh, it was that kind of appointment. The conversation between Yori and I came rushing back, and I let out a sigh, massaging my temples exasperatedly.

"Oh did he now?" I scowled deeply, causing Mei and Haruhi to glance up with curious expressions on their faces.

I shook my head at them and they, rather reluctantly, returned to their conversation. The nurse seemed to realise my annoyance and quickly backtracked.

"If you're not available at that time, I can reschedule your appointment?"

"No, it's fine," I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair. "But what exactly is it for?"

"It is just a simple meeting with your doctor to explain what will happen next. You will also have the chance to have any queries answered by the doctor."

"Will I need anything?" I asked curiously.

"Not that I'm aware of dearie. Just bring yourself and any family or friends you may need for support," her voice was kind and she made it sound so simple.

But I knew it was a lot more complicated than it seemed.

"Thank you."

"It's no problem, just ring this number if there any issues. Have a good day now," She hung up shortly after, a soft click echoing down the line.

I let out a sigh I hadn't realised I was holding, staring down at the phone I was clutching tightly in my fist. This was really happening. A small hand was placed over my own and I glanced up to meet my friend's worried eyes.

"Hey, are you ok?" Mei asked concern colouring her features.

Swallowing my fear and my rising panic, I smiled at Mei and Haruhi. But it wasn't a real smile, it was empty, full of pain and hurt and worry.

"I'm fine, it's just this thing my uncle wants me to do on Sunday," Mei shot me a disbelieving look but I shrugged her off. "Honestly it's nothing important."

"If you say so," Mei murmured glancing at me suspiciously.

I gave her a big grin before tucking into my bento. I needed to lock away my thoughts about this Sunday, for now. No one else needed to know what was going on. Like I said, I could deal with this on my own.

"So, uh Nali, Tamaki mentioned something about you coming to the Host Club today?" Haruhi broke the silence that had fallen on us.

I choked, sending her a panicked look. Mei hit me on the back and I coughed slightly.

What the hell is she on about?

"What?"

"Uh you didn't know?" She asked her eyes wide.

Shaking my head furiously, I leaned towards her with a raised eyebrow.

"What exactly did he say?" I asked, while Mei looked on with a baffled expression.

"Something about special treatment."

"Shit," I groaned flopping back onto the grass.

I was never going to look at the word treatment the same ever again. It had way too many negative connotations.

Haruhi let out a giggle, while Mei mouthed 'special treatment' at me. I just sighed slapping my hands over my eyes in exasperation.

I could pretend to be fine for now. But I knew that the situation would catch up with me. I only had so much time.

And as Mei began to interrogate Haruhi about my meeting with the Host Club and said girl stammered apologies, I could almost see the beginning of a new unlikely friendship.

…

The corridors were devoid of life as I strolled through them after school. Bass pounded through my tiny earphones, and I mouthed along to the words.

After the phone call at lunch, things had settled down and Mei and I had really gotten to know Haruhi. She was a frank girl but incredibly oblivious, something I worked out quite quickly. I found myself grinning as I remembered the way Mei had interrogated her for details about the Host Club and then how she had ruthlessly teased me about my clamming up in front of Kyoya.

However after lunch, we had gone our separate ways, Haruhi to her first year class and Mei and I to modern history, much to Mei's great delight. It was another subject she loathed due to the failing relationship between her and our ancient teacher. She said that it was because he didn't understand her view of the world; he said it was because she didn't understand the concept of homework.

There was a cry from behind me, pulling me back to earth and I glanced over my shoulder curiously. My eyes grew wide with shock and I froze.

The Hitachiin twins were walking towards me, their eyes glancing around curiously. Haruhi's words from earlier came back to me in a flash.

"…Tamaki mentioned something about you coming to the Host Club today…"

A startled squeal left my lips, and I leapt into action, ducking behind a corner quickly. I watched with wide eyes as they walked past my hiding spot, muttering to themselves.

"Those girls back there mentioned something about the library, maybe we should check there?" One of them muttered, glancing in the direction of the only library on this floor.

"I don't really care to be honest, let's just find the girl and get back to boss," The other muttered, crossing his arms behind his head with a yawn.

I tilted my head as they spoke, trying to figure out which one was which. I think Hikaru was the one with the parting to the left? Or was that Kaoru?

Holding my breath, I clung to the wall like it was a shield until I could no longer hear their footsteps. A quick glance around the corner confirmed my hope, revealing that they had in fact passed by. I let out a sigh, clutching my satchel close to my chest and walking backwards.

Biting my lip, I couldn't help but wonder why Tamaki wanted to see me so badly. I was just a girl who he had talked to for less than a few minutes, I wasn't anything special.

Suddenly, my back banged into something solid and I bounced back with 'oomph'.

Exactly why am I staring at the ceiling?

"Miss Tanaka?" Kyoya's face came into view and I shot up.

I blinked owlishly at the boy from where I sat on the ground. He simply stared back down at me, his glasses flashing in the light.

"Uh hi?" I said uncertainly as the boy held out a hand.

"May I inquire as to what you were doing?" he asked as he helped me to my feet.

Quick think of an excuse! My mind fumbled with what to say, and I blurted the first thing that came from my muddled head.

"Um, I was uh trying to moonwalk?"

My inner self keeled over, a feeling of desperation falling over us. Out of all the excuses you could've used and that's what you come up with?

"You were trying to moonwalk," He repeated with that stupid smirk on his face.

Great…just great, now he probably thinks I'm crazy. I thought wryly.

I nodded dumbly with a stupid smile on my face. He simply raised an eyebrow, while I let out a nervous chuckle. It wasn't like this situation could get any worse, right?

"I…uh like to practice in my um free time," I said, scratching the back of my awkwardly.

"Right," He muttered watching my blankly.

"Well, I better be going and continue with my uh…practice," I began to back up once again, anything to get away from his deep stare.

I turned to leave, congratulating myself on an awkward but successful getaway when Kyoya spoke up.

"Miss Tanaka," I glanced at him over my shoulder. "I do believe Tamaki is looking for you, and you won't be able to practice your moonwalking for forever."

I knew it, I thought sadly, he saw right through me.

But it wasn't as if I expected anything less from the great Kyoya Ootori.

"I can definitely try," I replied with a shrug. "After all I have perfected the art of hiding in plain sight."

"Tamaki isn't likely to give up any time soon."

"And exactly how would my presence at the Host Club benefit any of you?" I asked wryly with a raised eyebrow.

Kyoya studied me with his cool, calculating eyes.

"We have a saying at the Host Club that every girl deserves to be happy."

"I don't think attending the Host Club is going to fix any of my issues, Ootori," I said simply. "Do you?"

I raised an eyebrow, staring up at the boy. He towered over me, so I had to stretch a little to see him properly. You'd have to be a fool to not instantly recognise that the Ootori boy in front of me came from money. It was subtle things, but things that were easy to recognise. It could've been the way he held himself, or the way he looked. It could've been the intelligence that swam in the depths of his cool grey eyes.

Now, I wasn't the kind of girl to blush when a cute guy met her eye. I was, in fact, more likely to scoff and pull a face. But the look that Kyoya was giving me, well let's just say it was enough to make any girl blush to her roots right down to her toes and then to her roots again.

And for a second I could've sworn –

Kyoya Ootori was a paradox, several layers of dark brooding wrapped in an irresistible sweet layer of wealth and charm.

We looked away at the same time, and the moment, whatever it had been, ended.

Oh yes, Kyoya Ootori was a paradox alright. And one I was itching to solve.

"Just what I thought," I muttered when he didn't reply.

Turning from the still stoic Kyoya, I began to make my way down the hallway. I paused however by one of the classroom doors to face him once again.

"I'll see you around Kyoya."

I could feel his eyes on me as I continued down the hallway, but I didn't look back. I had much bigger things to be worrying about than Kyoya Ootori.