Disclaimer: By now, I'm sure you all know the drill... I own nothing. Believe me, if I did…I'd be a Jason Alexandwich right now. I do, however, own this plot and any characters I decide to throw in. Yayz! But there is no monetary gain…so I'd really appreciate it if you'd call off the bloodsucking (sorry Mick, Josef, etc.) attack dogs known as lawyers so that I can come out from under the rock I'm hiding under. Much appreciated.
AN: Well…sorry it's been so long since my last update. I'm finally beginning to get my life back into the routine I broke before Christmas…slowly but surely getting back some small semblance of the normal my life used to be. Right now, though, it's just chaotic. Well, good news all…the city worker's strike in my town finally ended after 7 weeks (SEVEN LONG, DANGEROUS, ANNOYING, SIDEWALKLESS WEEKS!) so…hopefully sometime next week I'll be able to step outside my front door and find a freshly plowed sidewalk. Here's hoping. But at least we haven't had any major snowstorms since the one during March Break that dumped two feet of snow on Ontario, although I'd better shut up about it now before I jinx it and we get more massive dumpings of snow. I'd just like to add that another justification for my lack of updates is my recent bout of insomnia…it's been a long and sleepless week. So forgive me for taking so long…I've spent much of my free time trying to catch up on the sleep I missed. But I hope to hammer out as much as humanly possible, considering it's a long weekend. Which brings me to my final point of this long and pointless Author's Note…HAPPY EASTER, ALL! May the Easter bunny bring you lots of holiday goodness…and perhaps another update sometime in the near future? : D Anyway…onto chapter 4!
Mick hadn't gone to sleep that night. He had retreated to his freezer in the wee hours of the morning, only after spending several hours sitting and staring at Beth's sleeping form. But even after he had finally gone to his freezer, he still did not sleep. He simply lay awake for a few hours, until finally he had reached a point where he was past trying to delude himself with the notion that he would actually get some sleep that night, finally climbing out of his freezer and dressing.
Creeping softly down the stairs, careful not to make any noise that might possibly wake Beth, Mick grabbed his car keys and decided to go out for a drive. It was just past five a.m. Taking a final look back at her peacefully sleeping form, Mick quietly shut the door behind him and locked it using his special remote key.
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Mick drove aimlessly around the nearly deserted L.A. street, marvelling at the unusual emptiness of the city, even for this hour in the morning. Passing an all-hours grocery store, a thought occurred to Mick. When Beth awoke, she would no doubt be hungry. Since he was out anyway, Mick decided that he might as well pick up something for her to eat for breakfast.
He knew that things between him and Beth were okay for the moment, but that didn't stop him from continuing to feel incredibly guilty for not being able to be there when she needed him the most. He hadn't been able to take care of her like he felt he should have. Therefore, he was determined to make up for it now, now that she was willing to let him. He would take care of her now like he hadn't been able to during the past three weeks. As God was his witness, he vowed with everything in him that he would earn back the part of her he had lost. He would once again be the man she had always believed him to be.
He turned his car into the parking lot of the grocery store, determined in his own mind to make things between him and Beth as close as possible to the way things were before all of this. Because, although he knew that things were okay, they had a long way to go yet before the broken bridges between them could be mended completely.
Climbing out of his car, Mick entered the grocery store, wondering silently to himself if Beth would rather have Belgian Waffles or Bacon and Eggs…
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She was covered in blood. It was everywhere. The hot, sticky substance flowed out beneath her fingertips, soaking through the heavy cloth she was pressing over the wound. Panic rose up in her throat. It was happening. Again. And she had no way to stop it.
"B-Beth…" He tried to speak. She silenced him.
"Josh…don't talk. You're going to be fine. Just stay with me." She pleaded, tears rising up in her. There was a vaguely vacant look in Josh's eyes as he struggled to find his next breath…to hold on for just a little longer. She felt the hot, salty tears pour down her face. She didn't even try to stop them. She knew what was going to happen. She'd watched it happen over and over again. But she just couldn't bring herself to accept that this was the end for him. She had to save him. Because if she could just keep him there with her…keep him from slipping away, then maybe, just maybe, she might wake up in the morning and find him next to her, very much alive and breathing, and discover that his death was just a horrible, seemingly endless nightmare. "Josh…please don't abandon me. Don't leave me alone here. I can't be alone now. I'm not strong enough." She whispered, fresh tears making their way down her pale, terrified face.
Suddenly, Josh looked at her with an ugly, angry expression.
"But you won't be alone, Beth." He told her, his voice suddenly strong and clear and cold. "You'll have Mick. In fact, I bet you're just thrilled that I'm gone. It's not like you ever really loved me anyway. It was all about Mick. I was just an inconvenience, just in the way. Well, now you can finally be happy with him…now I'm out of the way. You didn't even try to save me, did you?"
"No! No, Josh. That's not true. I loved you! You have no idea how much I loved you. And I did try, dear God, Josh, you have no idea how hard I tried to save you! I'm still trying, Josh!"
"Yeah, I can see. And you're doing a spectacular job at it, too." Josh snarled, raising his head to look down at the bloody cloth pressed to his wounds. Despite the pressure Beth was applying to it, the blood soaked through anyway.
"Josh, I'm trying!" Beth cried desperately, now positively hysteric. She pressed harder, vainly attempting to stop the flow of blood.
"Beth, just give up the act…I know you were relieved when I died. You were happy, because it meant that there was nothing stopping you from being with Mick. It's your fault this happened, Beth!"
"Josh, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…but I wasn't happy when you died. It was never about Mick-"
"So tell me, then." Josh cut across her, bitterness evident in his voice. "If I had proposed, what would you have said?"
Beth was silent for a moment, Josh's words cutting her deeply. "Josh…that's not fair!" She finally managed to blurt out.
Josh scoffed as he replied. "Yeah…exactly what I thought. Have a good life, Beth. I hope Mick makes you happy. And I hope you can live with my blood on your hands…"
With that, Josh laid his head back down on the ground and resumed his position, the vague expression returning to his eyes. Then, he was deathly still.
"NO! NO, JOSH, PLEASE! I'M SO SORRY! DON'T LEAVE ME. JOSH! PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME!"
"Josh!" Beth awoke whimpering his name, tears pouring from her eyes. She was startled for a moment, her surroundings unfamiliar from her bedroom, where she had awoken from the same nightmare for the last three weeks.
It took her a moment to remember that she wasn't, in fact, at her apartment…she was sleeping on Mick's couch.
"Mick?" She called uncertainly into the darkness of the living room. There was no response. "MICK?" She shouted a little louder. Still nothing. She got up and wandered up the stairs, looking into each room for Mick's freezer. Finally, when she found it in the room with the grey door, she wandered over to the freezer and looked inside. It was empty.
Needing Mick, needing to feel herself in the warm, soothing embrace of his comforting arms, Beth suddenly began to panic. "MICK!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, running to again check all of the upstairs room before heading back downstairs to search there.
After repeatedly searching the downstairs of the apartment for Mick, screaming his name the whole time, she came to the horrifying conclusion that he wasn't there. Finally abandoning her search, Beth sank back onto the couch, breaking into hysterics, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly as she rocked back and forth, crying hysterically. She'd had the dream many times before, but never had it affected her so profoundly as it had tonight. Perhaps it was because she was beyond being able to just bottle it up anymore. So she sat, unable to stem the flow of tears, finding herself abandoned. Completely alone. Again.
MLMLMLML
When Mick returned to his apartment, it was shortly after six a.m. He had been gone an hour. He was sure that Beth would most likely still be asleep right now…though, truth be told, he preferred it that way. He would much rather have the opportunity to prepare breakfast for her before she awoke anyway.
As Mick unlocked his door and entered, however, he was startled to find Beth very much awake. And in hysterics on his sofa.
Beth looked up as soon as she heard the door unlock. Mick walked into the apartment with a bunch of grocery bags. He'd barely even had time to set them down on the floor before Beth flung herself at him, hugging herself tightly to him as she continued to cry into his chest. A worried expression crossed his features as he encircled her in his arms, hugging her tightly. He mentally kicked himself.
He'd vowed that night that he would be there for her now, now that she was finally willing to let him. He'd promised himself that he would be there for her more than ever. Yet, once again, he had been absent when she had needed him the most. He'd failed her again.
MLMLMLML
It took Mick quite a while to get Beth calmed down enough to be able to speak coherently, although when he asked her what had upset her so, she vehemently refused to say anything other than 'It was just a dream. Don't worry about it.'
When he persisted, she still flat-out refused to talk about it; so, despite feeling as though he shouldn't Mick decided that it was best to just let it go. Instead, he made her breakfast and coffee.
After Beth had finished her breakfast, Mick decided that it was as good a time as any to bring up the subject of Leigh's case with her. During his time out, he had been trying to think of how to best bring it up with her. He didn't want to make it seem like that was the only reason that he'd called her, but at the same time, from what Leigh had said yesterday, it sounded urgent. He couldn't afford to waste any time. But still…
He was so confused. Leigh needed his help, and soon. That much was abundantly clear. But at the same time, Beth was in an extremely fragile state of mind. He didn't want to press her to help him, but at the same time, he desperately needed her investigative skills with this case. He drew in a breath, trying to phrase what he was going to say.
"Beth…" He began. Beth looked up from her Belgian Waffle.
"Yeah, Mick?" She asked. Her eyes were still slightly red and puffy from crying, and her voice still sounded watery, but she was looking considerably better than she had earlier that morning when he'd come back to find her in tears.
"I have to tell you…there was an ulterior motive to my phone call last night…" He stopped when he caught sight of the look in her eyes. They'd immediately filled with fresh tears. He wanted to smack himself. He'd said the wrong thing. Again. He couldn't help but notice that he had a knack for such things.
"So…you didn't just call me last night because you wanted to talk to me?" She asked. Mick's heart broke at the fact that her voce was shaking slightly.
He tried quickly and desperately to rectify the situation.
"No, Beth…that's not what I meant. Not at all. Of course I wanted to talk to you…I just…" He paused, trying to think of a way to best explain it to her. He decided on the words that first popped into his mind. They were the honest truth, so invariably they were the right ones. He hoped. "I just didn't think you wanted to talk to me, is all. I wanted so much to call you, but I was so sure that you hated me that I wasn't sure if you'd be willing to listen. I figured if I had a reason to call, an excuse, you might just be willing to hear me out."
By the time he finished, his voice was barely more than a whisper. He found himself staring at a spot on the counter in front of him, unable to look her in the eye. He wasn't normally this forthcoming with his emotions. Usually, he preferred to hide them and appear stoic and unfeeling. Beth was the exception to the rule. She was the only one who had managed to reach deep enough to be able to pry them out. She was the only one he had let in. He wasn't used to leaving himself open and vulnerable like that.
When he finally found the strength to look up into her eyes after a period of extended silence, he was relieved to see that the hurt look in her eyes had disappeared.
She looked at him with understanding. She had, after all, been of the same mind these last weeks. That, should she call him, she would need an excuse. The only difference was that, even though she had come across many opportunities, she hadn't quite been ready to face him yet. And so she had suffered, alone, lost, and in silence.
"Oh." Beth breathed after a while.
Mick, relieved that he had managed to avoid making her cry again, managed to find his voice again.
"Yeah." They sat and looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. A long, silent moment. Mick found himself drawn to her, leaning in. Beth did the same. They got closer and closer, until their lips were almost touching. Just a little closer…
Beth suddenly turned her head away, blinking her eyes against the fresh tears that threatened to fall as Josh's words from her dream echoed through her head.
Mick blinked several times and shook his head, slightly disoriented.
"Mick, I'm sorry…I just…I can't." Beth again found herself pushing him away. And she hated herself for it. But she couldn't handle this…not now…
All she could really do right now was pray to God that he didn't take it the wrong way. She didn't know if she could survive him turning his back on her. He was all she had left in the world now…without him, she would be completely alone. The past three weeks had shown her how truly terrifying it was to be completely alone in the world…and the thought of being alone again terrified her more than anything in the world. She needed comfort. She needed Mick. But she couldn't be with Mick…it would be a betrayal to Josh.
Mick caught the expression on Beth's face and, for the umpteenth time that morning, mentally kicked himself. He was a horrible person…he was suddenly disgusted with himself for how willing he had been only a moment ago to take advantage of her fragile state. He couldn't…he wouldn't betray her like that. So soon after Josh's death, she would no doubt be looking for comfort from him…and she might do something she'd end up regretting. He wouldn't let her do that. She wasn't in the right state of mind to decide where things stood between them, and it would be unfair of him to ask it of her.
"Oh…it's…it's okay. I understand." Mick said. He quickly changed the topic.
"Anyway…the other reason I called last night was because a client came to see me yesterday…a very peculiar client."
"How so?" Beth asked. She looked relieved that they were changing the topic, as well as the fact that Mick, for his part, did not seem overly angry right now.
Mick looked at her. "You're not even going to believe this."
MLMLMLML
Mick had spent nearly an hour relaying to Beth his conversation with the mysterious teenage girl named Leigh Francis that had shown up at his door yesterday. He explained to Beth in detail everything the girl had told him about her "Community. Everything except the part about her thinking she had been kidnapped as a child. He left that to the end, still trying to decide whether or not to tell her. He was afraid it might bring back painful memories for Beth. After everything they'd been through with Coraline…after uncovering all of those repressed memories, he was sure that Beth would much rather just forget he whole ordeal.
By the time Mick had finished, Beth looked extremely bewildered.
"You were right." She finally managed to spit out. "I don't believe it. It sounds like something you'd see in a Horror flick."
Mick nodded. "There's something else…" He decided that he should tell Beth the real reason the girl had come to him in the first place. Leaving Beth looking slightly bewildered, he left the room to retrieve the printout that Leigh had given him from his desk. He came back into the room a moment later, clutching the paper in his hand. Hesitating slightly, he handed the paper to Beth.
Beth took the piece of paper Mick offered her and stared at it for a moment. She felt a stab of emotion…exactly what emotion it was, she couldn't exactly say…but she felt as her throat constricted slightly. She looked up at Mick for confirmation.
Mick nodded grimly. "She thinks this is her…and, having seen the similarities between her and the girl in the picture, I'm inclined to agree."
Beth stared back down at the wide-eyed toddler in the picture. Her emerald green eyes were a stunning contrast to the girl's dark brown pigtails. She had a wide, toothy grin, miniature white teeth on display for the world to see. Unlike Beth, this little girl had had no Guardian Angel, no safe return to her undoubtedly devastated parents. No happy ending. No Mick.
Mick saw a wide assortment of emotions flicker across Beth's face as she regarded the photograph. He knew this was a touchy subject for her, but she had to have all the facts in order to be able to assist him with this case. He needed her to understand what they were going up against.
"Her poor parents…" Beth finally managed to choke out, not taking her eyes off the little girl's smiling face. She finally read the girl's name and felt an icy shock run through her body. The girl's name was Elizabeth. They shared a name. This realization only served to remind her how close she had come to being this little girl once upon a time…lost forever to her parents, to the world. Beth finally looked up into Mick's face, putting her words together. "I mean…after all these years…they must think she's dead. Can you imagine…having your child disappear off the face of the earth and never knowing what happened to them?" Her voice began to crack with emotion.
Mick sighed. "Not all kids are found right away, Beth. Some are never found. But if this really is her…if we finally have found her…this is our chance to give her parents some closure. This is our chance to finally bring this little girl home." He looked her seriously in the eye as he said this. Beth just nodded.
"Okay," she said, "Let's get to work." She looked back at the picture of little Elizabeth McKnight. No matter what, she was determined that she would reunite Elizabeth with her parents. She would give Elizabeth the happy ending that Mick had given her so many years ago.
TBC…
AN: Yeah, so…again, I'm sorry. Another long Mick/Beth oriented chapter. But I figure I did alright on it. The story progressed at least a little bit. So…:D I'm slowly but surely making headway. The next chapter will mainly focus on Leigh again…on what her everyday life entails, introducing more characters…perhaps even on some of the exciting plot I'm itching to reveal. Muahahahaha! I can guarantee you all, as utterly complex as the whole conspiracy theory plot will be, it will be amazing! I'm so excited about it…:D Anyway…Happy Easter Everyone!
Love always, Cat.