Author's Notes
I do not own any part of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Rei left the auditorium and didn't look back. She knew Shinji was in Pilot mode and would follow her anywhere without question. She'd used their training to get Shinji out of there before things got out of control. They walked in silence until Rei spotted an empty sick room away from the main hallway. Typically the rooms were pretty sparse, a simple couch and chair. The light switch activated a small lamp on an end table next to the couch. There were no windows and with the door closed the faculty claimed the room was soundproof. Rei doubted the last claim but it did cut out most of the outside noise. She figured they could have a private conversation and not worry about being overheard.
"Ikari, please go in and sit down." her tone was less harsh but Rei stayed firm and unemotional. She hoped by just using his last name and not 'Pilot', Shinji would start to calm himself. Rei watched as Shinji sat on the sofa. She flipped the light switch, followed him in and shut the door behind her. Rei pulled the chair up close to Shinji and sat down.
Shinji's head was swimming. He knew what had happened in class but it was almost as if he'd been watching another person say those words in his voice. He remembered zoning out, until Ayanami's commands broke through. The next thing he knew they were in this sick room.
Rei pulled her chair even closer until they were knee to knee, facing each other. Shinji's face was very pale, hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. His eyes were down, staring at his knees, shoulders slumped forward with his hands resting on his thighs. He hadn't said a word since they left the auditorium. Rei knew the signs of PTSD and Shinji checked all the boxes.
"This should give you a chance to relax Ikari," her voice softened.
Shinji barely moved. He let out a big sigh and kept staring at his knees.
All of a sudden he felt his arm move and something warm on his wrist. Shinji looked up and followed his arm until he saw Rei's hand. She had a loose grip on his wrist almost the same as when Dr. Akagi took his pulse. He saw Rei looking at him and quickly looked away.
"I want to make sure you're starting to calm down. Your pulse rate is still elevated. You may be in shock so if necessary we will go to the nurse's office. First though, there are some questions I must ask you. Please be honest with me, I will not judge you." Rei's voice was low and calm, almost reassuring now.
Again Shinji didn't move. Rei still had hold of his wrist and gave it a gentle tug.
"Ikari, look at me," Rei prodded.
"No," he muttered, not lifting his head.
"I need you to look at me," she asked again, trying not to raise her voice.
Shinji tried to shrug his hand away but Rei held fast. She slowly moved her hand up and rested it on his forearm. At the same time she leaned in closer and barely whispered.
"Please Shinji. Look at me."
Shinji finally looked up at Rei. It was like a splash of cold water to his face. He was awake again, and the cobwebs were clearing. His eyes were wide open and he straightened up.
Seeing his reaction, Rei started carefully.
"Did you take your medication today?" She waited to hear his response.
"I forgot", came his flat reply.
"I see. How many days have you forgotten to take the medication Dr Akagi prescribed?" Rei continued.
She saw the wheels turning in Shinji's head then the look of resignation. "I don't know Rei… I mean Ayanami."
"It is alright… Shinji." She said his first name quietly as if she might get caught saying it out loud. "When was the last time you slept?"
"What's today, Tuesday?" he asked wearily.
"That's correct."
"Well… Probably…. no wait, definitely February," he managed a feeble smile.
Then he gave her a look. A cross between 'Can you believe this shit?' and 'Here we go again'.
Rei realized Shinji was coming around but she didn't want to get distracted by his attempts to avoid her questions.
"Do you remember what I told you this morning? she asked.
"Well, we did talk about tea," smirked Shinji.
Rei was getting annoyed with his smart assed quips but she had a goal in mind so she let it pass.
"I told you I knew about everyone at Nerv. That means I know about you," Rei replied. "I am aware of your routine, your habits, your 'preferences'."
Shinji was starting to look bored. "This is too much like grade school," he thought.
Rei continued, "You were given a set of a prescriptions and a timetable for taking the medication. You understand the need for a proper amount of sleep each night. When you were released, it was on condition you would follow all the requirements laid out. I believe you signed paperwork to that effect. Is that not correct?"
"Yes Ayanami."
"Good. I'm going to say this again because it seems you have forgotten."
Shinji's eyes squinted as he tried to pull something out of his memory. He was struggling. It was almost there but he couldn't quite hear it in his mind's ear. He stared straight at Rei with a puzzled, almost desperate look on his face.
Rei looked him in the eye and calmly stated, "You will not die Ikari. I will protect you." She paused to let the words sink in.
He looked stunned for a moment, then Shinji spoke up, "It's OK Ayanami, you've done your duty. Seele is defeated, the world is safe. You don't owe me anything. I know Father is keeping tabs on me. You can let him know I'll be able to carry on with the Eva tours soon."
Rei was annoyed. It was only for a second, but Shinji noticed. Her mouth turned down ever so slightly and her face flushed. She regained her composure and replied, "You misunderstand, Ikari. I'm well aware Nerv tracks our movement, but I have not been ordered to monitor you. It is my choice. You and I have experienced the most horrible circumstances. We have piloted our Eva's and represented Nerv admirably. This is our bond. Suzuhara would understand also, but he was…. lost. More than that Ikari, you have always treated me with respect and acceptance."
"Toji wasn't lost, He was killed. Toji was mangled and crushed and burned alive!" Shinji snapped. "I saw it with my own eyes, Ayanami. He was destroyed and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it! He…"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make light of the Second Child's death," Rei cut in. "I saw what happened and there truly was nothing we could have done. It's natural to feel guilt, but you must stop punishing yourself. You are not to blame. Do you think Suzuhara would expect you to carry this guilt with you for the rest of your life? I believe he would say 'C'mon Shin-man, get over yourself. You're really an idiot sometimes ya know.'"
The sight of Rei trying to impersonate Toji was too much. Shinji started to laugh so hard he was hiccuping. He tried to squeeze out a few words but it was no use. He was gone.
Rei shook her head and stood up. "Do you need something to drink Ikari? I was thinking of getting a milk tea."
"I think a Cold Shot Coffee would be great," he replied, trying to compose himself.
"Really? Aren't you having enough trouble sleeping?" she chided. If you need it, I believe I have some of your medication in my purse." Rei took her bag off her shoulder and started fishing around inside.
"You, have my medication, in your purse?" he teased. Without thinking he reached out and playfully swatted at the bag.
Rei was surprised by his sudden move and dropped the purse. It fell to the ground and tipped over on its side. Shinji watched as four or five small brown bottles rolled towards him and stopped as they hit his foot.
Shinji leaned down and scooped up the bottles in both hands. "Great move Shinji," he thought. "Way to embarrass Ayanami."
He lifted his hands up toward her and stammered, "I'm so sorry Ayanami, please forgive me. It was an accident."
He looked up at her hoping for forgiveness. What he saw was a look of shock. Her face was white as a sheet and her eyes were big as saucers.
"What?" he asked. "I really didn't…" Rei was still frozen.
Shinji looked down at the bottles in his hands and noticed the RX on each label. Taking a closer look he started reading: Alprazolam, Clonazepam, Chlordiazepoxide, Diazepam, Lorazepam. He recognized the last one as Ativan which he'd been taking since he left the hospital. The others were a mystery to him but they were definitely all prescriptions.
"Rei? What is all this?" He looked up at her again.
She calmly reached out, snatched the bottles from Shinji's hands and stuffed them back in her purse.
"Rei? What the hell is going on here? I know those aren't all for me."
"It's nothing Ikari," she replied quietly, staring down at her purse. "I…. will get your drink, then return to class. I'd recommend you go to the cafeteria and get some food. I will let the others know you are alright."
"But Rei…" he started again, rising from the couch.
"No Ikari." She was firm. "I do not wish to discuss it. Now, I must get back. I have to return the tea tray as well. I'll be back in a minute with your Cold Shot." She turned on her heel and quickly left, not waiting for his response.
Shinji sat there in silence but his mind was churning. In the space of a minute his whole understanding of things had been flipped on its ear. "What the fuck?" he wondered. "I mean, she's always been very quiet and a bit of a loner but this, this is just weird. Rei is strictly by the book. Sure some folks would call her a 'square' but she's dependable and responsible. Plus I'm sure Father has his eye on her…"
He was interrupted mid-thought as a can of Cold Shot Coffee appeared in his face.
"Here Ikari," Rei said, between sips of her canned Milk Tea. Her bag was back over her shoulder and she just stared blankly waiting for him to take the can.
"She's pretending it didn't happen," he thought. "She's ignoring it or hoping I've forgotten the whole thing. I know she said to leave it but I can't. Maybe she just needs an excuse to open up."
"Uhmmm, Ayanami. I'm sorry if I offended you. I just don't understand why you have all those pills on you. I'll respect your privacy but you are a….. friend, so I will listen if you have anything to say." He wasn't sure what to expect after he'd finished so he just held his breath and waited.
"Thank you Ikari. I have many things left to do before my next class, please excuse me."
Shinji felt a horrible sensation in the pit of his stomach. "She's not going to open up at all. It is like nothing happened for her." He thought there might be a tiny connection there but Rei wasn't having any of it. "I pushed too hard and now she thinks I'm a creep or weird. I should have minded my own business." He watched her walk away then stop just before opening the door.
Without looking back, Rei started, "Ikar...Shinji, may I ask a favour?" There was a pause. "As a…. friend, would you please not discuss what you saw with anyone?"
"Of course Rei, you have my word, as a friend." Shinji breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
"Thank you," she said, opening the door, still not looking back.
"You know, a bunch of us are going out Saturday to unwind," Shinji blurted out. "You should join us, it'll be fun."
"I see," Rei replied. "I didn't realize there's a price for your silence."
"What? No, it's not like that. I'd like you to join us Rei. It has nothing to do with keeping my promise to you. This is just a chance for everyone to forget about everything and just enjoy themselves. It's been too long since we all hung out together. "Whadda you say?" Shinji had gone from embarrassed to excited talking about this.
Rei turned to face Shinji. "Despite his own troubles, he is more concerned about the people around him," she thought. "That is admirable."
"I apologize for assuming your promise was conditional. I... accept your invitation, thank you," she answered. "I really must go now. Will you be alright getting to the cafeteria? I will make sure Horaki collects your things and brings them to you."
"That's great Rei and yes I'll be fine."
"In that case Ikari, I will see you later," Rei stated matter of factly.
Shinji reached out and held the door open, following Rei back out into the hall. They parted ways without another word.
He noticed how Rei had switched back to addressing him more formally. It wasn't unusual. It was more unusual for her to use his first name but this was a very unique situation. He could probably count the number of times Rei had gotten more 'personal' with him on one hand. It was true they shared a bond, but Rei always kept almost everyone at arms length. He was glad she'd agreed to the weekend plans; now there was something for him to do. If nothing else, the planning would keep him occupied. Not to mention the thought of Kensuke singing karaoke in front of a room full of girls was something he simply couldn't miss. "I bet he gets two lines into the song and forgets the words from embarrassment," Shinji chuckled to himself. "I know Hikari will pick the movie, so that's done. We'll all decide about dinner." He'd just finished the last thought when a loud noise brought him back to reality. He looked down and realized it was his stomach gurgling. "Guess the soup wasn't enough." He rubbed his stomach and headed for the cafeteria.
Rei walked purposefully back toward the auditorium. She had a checklist in her mind and she intended to finish all her tasks before heading off to Biology. She knew today's topic was genetics, a personal favorite, so there was no way she was going to let herself be late.
As she entered the auditorium it was clear the class had just ended. "It seems Yamato was able to gain control and finish the lesson. Good, Shinji wasn't too much of a distraction," Rei hoped silently. She made her way back down to the group.
Hikari spotted Rei and called out, "Oh...Ayanami, thank goodness. Is everything alright with Shinji? We were all worried sick. Didn't he come back with you? What's wrong?" Hikari kept going. "Did he have to see the nurse or…"
"Do not worry Horaki, Ikari is…. better now. He is going to the cafeteria to get some food. I made sure all was OK before I came back."
Kensuke saw Rei and added, "Hey Ayanami, what's going on? Where's Shinji?"
"Shhhhhhhh Kensuke," Hikari interrupted. "Ayanami was just telling me everything."
"He's my friend too Hikari, ya know", Kensuke sulked.
"Please," Rei broke in. "Ikari is doing well and decided to get something to eat. I realize everyone is concerned but I can assure you all he is fine. Hikari, would you please collect Shinji's things and bring them to him in the cafeteria? I have other errands to finish before my next class."
"Of course Ayanami." Hikari turned to Kensuke and smiled, "we'll get it done, won't we?"
"You bet," Kensuke replied trying to sound serious.
Hikari reached down and grabbed Shinji's textbook and notes from the desk then collected his briefcase from the floor under his seat.
"Come on Kensuke, let's go," Hikari almost ordered. She excused herself past Asuka and Mari and kept the path clear for him.
Kensuke was a bit shocked but not surprised. "She's back to being Class Rep Horaki," he thought. "She always did manage to keep everything under control back in junior high, including Toji," he chuckled to himself. He could see her clear as day grabbing Toji by the ear and dragging him out of class.
As they made their way up the stairs Rei was mentally crossing items off her 'to do' list.
Lost in all the activity, Asuka and Mari quietly gathered their things and stood up to leave.
Asuka spoke up. "You must be Pilot Ayanami. Thank you so much for taking care of Shinji. This is my friend Mari. We're pleased to meet you." Asuka flashed her brightest smile and bowed low. Mari looked a bit confused but quickly followed suit. They rose up waiting for Rei's reply.
Rei stared straight at them. "Hello Children," she replied plainly, then turned and headed down to her seat to get the tea tray.
You could hear a pin drop as Asuka and Mari turned to each other, mouths wide, faces bright red.
They almost fell over each other catching up to Rei.
"Wha… what's that supposed to mean?" Mari asked, trying not to sound too freaked out.
Rei turned in to her row, ignoring the question.
"Hey, you," Mari raised her voice, "did you hear me?" She grabbed Rei's shoulder, trying to get the girl to face her.
Rei shrugged off Mari's hand and lifted the tray from her desk. Without stopping to look back, Rei answered, "I don't understand. You are Pilot Makinami, Fourth Child, and Pilot Soryu, Second Child. I believe my response was appropriate and correct. There should be no confusion." She turned round, glanced at Mari and moved past her.
Asuka watched Rei breeze past her and head back up the stairs.
"It's like we're not even here," Asuka thought. "And how the hell did she know we were pilots? Nerv confirmed our transfer to Japan was top secret. Not even Kaji or Katsuragi were told we were coming."
Mari came out of the aisle shaking her head. "Well Princess, what's her deal? Looks like we didn't make a good first impression. Do you think she'll report us to HQ?"
"I don't think so," Asuka replied. "From what I've read, I'd say our dear Third Child won't even give us a second thought. She'll only care that we can pilot our Eva's and follow orders. She was heavily decorated for her service during the war. She's very smart but didn't care for school. Her bio file is extremely thin. There's almost nothing about her family. Aside from the official speaking functions with Nerv she's rarely seen in public. It's not like she's gonna start telling all her friends we're here. I'm not even sure she knows anyone outside of Nerv. No, I don't think Ayanami will be a problem."
"What about your precious Shinji? Won't she let him know?" Mari shot back.
"My guess is she'll avoid spilling the beans to Ikari," Asuka figured, "considering his outburst today."
"Oh, is that so? And let me guess. You aren't going to tell him either." Mari raised her eyes coyly.
"Not yet. I've gotta have a little fun," Asuka smiled back at Mari.
Mari cocked her head to one side. "You're so bad. Looks like I taught you well. C'mon, let's get over to the cafeteria. I want to see what's going on with those three."
The two climbed the stairs and headed into the hallway.