Tessa was frozen. Will was gone and Jem was preparing his horse for a ride. She probably should go after Will but she couldn't do much more, couldn't convince him to think differently, so she turned towards Jem, who looked up at her as he walked his horse out into the centre of the barn.

"Jem i…"

"Save it Tessa, its ok, go back inside"

"Jem, please don't push me away too, Will expects people to push him away but please don't do that to me" she placed a hand on his arm, stroked his grey coat a bit. He looked down at her hand there and then up at her face, into her eyes. He dropped the reins he was holding and took a hold of Tessa's hands. She could feel his thin bony hands beneath his brown leather riding gloves, but he was warm, and all Tessa wanted to do was wrap her arms around him.

"Tessa, whatever you want, I'm ok with it"

"That's the problem; I don't know what I want"

"Well its up to you Tessa, but personally I think you should be with Will, you make him light up like witchlight"

Tessa pulled away from him and stepped back a few paces.

"Don't. it's my heart, its my decision"

"And I must let you decide" his answer was almost a whisper but Tessa heard it. Jem gazed at her longingly, sighed and then got up onto his horse Xanthos. He was about to kick the horse to move forward but Tessa's voice halted him.

"Jem wait" Tessa's voice barely came out; her throat was so constricted because she was trying to hold back tears. She ran towards Jem, he held out his arm and Tessa grabbed on and he hulled her up onto the horse behind him and they took off at a gallop.

The sun was high in the sky as they rode through the streets of London at a steady walking pace. Tessa had seen London through a carriage window, a bit with Jem on foot, but never on horseback, it was magical.

Her arms were snugly placed on Jem's waist in front of her, she was sitting so close to him, she felt his warmth and decided then that she loved it. She was comfortable with Jem in a way that she wasn't with Will. With Will she was breathless and at times awkward, and other times he made her so infuriatingly mad that she wanted to kill him and kiss him all at the same time.

But Jem seemed more fragile than Will, and she wanted to take care of him, even though he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Jem's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"You ok back there Tessa?" Jem looked back at Tessa over his right shoulder.

"Yes, just thinking"

"What are you thinking about?"

"About how different you are from Will, and about how each of you make me feel" she was surprised with herself; she had never been so open before with anyone.

"Will is so dramatic; he really didn't have to do what he did"

"And you are so care free, you act like nothing bothers you, but deep inside this must really be hurting you" Tessa felt him tense and then shrug.

"I am not saying its not" he told her as the horses hooves suddenly crossed over a different type of surface than the cobblestone they had been walking on. Tessa looked around them and noticed they had entered Hyde Park. Tessa was breathless at the mere sight of it, and it felt more amazing being on horseback.

Jem tugged the reins and Xanthos slowed to a stop.

"We are here" Jem said as he slid down off Xanthos and held out his hand to Tessa. She smiled a bit and slid down and immediately lost her footing, her ankle gave way and she stumbled forward, right into Jem's arms.

"Whoa, I've got you"

Tessa looked up at him; he was so close to her. Jem lifted her up so she was standing up on her feet again. His arms were around her waist and she automatically put hers around him.

"Thank you" she whispered, and stood up on her tippy toes and kissed him. He didn't pull away. She felt him tense and then relax, as if her kisses soothed him, he kissed her back deeper.

Xanthos snorted with impatience and Tessa pulled back from the kiss.

"I don't think Xanthos likes public displays of affection" she chuckles and pats the gelding's velvet nose.

"That and he wants his nosebag" Jem took the Gelding's reins and tied them to a nearby tree branch and reached for the nosebag full of grain that was tied to the saddlebag, untied it and slipped it over the Xanthos' head, he whinnied and happily began munching away.

"Now that he's happy…" she took Jem's hand and pulled him back towards her.

"Hang on" he took his hand away for a moment, only to reach up and unstrap the blanket that was rolled up at the back of the saddle, Tessa hadn't noticed it before.

"Come with me" he told her. Tessa smiled and then followed close behind him.

They walked all the way towards the lake and Jem stopped and flung out the blanket in front of him so it unravelled and he set it down on the grass.

"After you Miss Gray" he offered, Tessa curtsied and sat down, folding out her skirts all around her.

"Thank you Mr Carstairs" she added playfully

Jem sat down beside her, "Now we can talk"

Tessa watched him, the sun shined off of his silver hair, it was almost metallic, and his eyes were like storm clouds as he gazed back at her.

"I've made my decision" she told him

"And what is that?"

"You will have to wait until we get back to the Institute so I can tell both you and Will together"

"Fine" Jem seemed disappointed, "but was that kiss any indication?"

"I can't tell you; right now can we just sit here and enjoy each other's company?"

"I would like nothing more" and Jem slid off his riding gloves and took Tessa's hand.