Sorry this took so long to write. I got writer's block, and then I got sick. I really hope you like this part. I really am trying.
Before anything else could be said there is a knock at the door. I sigh and get up to answer it. When I look through the peep hole my heart stops. I can't believe this! This can not be happening to me. I open the door only enough so you can't see into my apartment. "Hey, Danny. What's going on?" I say, hoping he is buying the fake smile on my face. With the look he gives me I'm guessing he sees right through it. Oh, that and I blocking the door so he can't see in my apartment. I'm sure that seems weird. "Uh, Flack and I are going out to grab a few beers. I thought you might want to join us." He says, looking at me funny. "Look, Danny as much as I appreciate the invitation, it just isn't a good time for me right now." Just as I finish, I feel Rob right behind me. He opens the door wider. I think I feel a panic attack coming on. Just when I think he'll do some male marking his territory thing, he surprises me by saying. "Lindsay go ahead and go. I'm leaving anyway." What does he mean he's leaving? "Rob where not done talking yet." I say confused. "No, I don't think there's anything left to say." He gives me a sad smile and kisses me on the forehead, and walks passed Danny down the hall. I feel like I want to cry. I never meant for it to go this way. I didn't want to hurt him like that.
Danny right now is looking around at everything, but me with his hands shoved in his pockets. I let out a big sigh and step back from the door. "Come on in." He looks at me and asks. "Are you sure?" I just walk over to the couch and plop down and playing with my melted ice cream. Danny comes in and closes and locks my door. Then he walks over and sits in the chair I was sitting in not to long ago. "Are you okay?" I know he wants to help, but I also think he is curious about what just happened. "I don't want to talk about it." I say, getting up to put the ice cream back before it melts any more. When I come back to the living room Danny has moved over to my book self and is looking at all my pictures. He probably is looking for a picture of Rob. He turns around when he hears me sit back down on the couch. "Who was that?" Was, that's a good word to describe Rob. He was my first love. He was my loving husband. He was my best friend. He was everything to me. He was all those things. Now, "He's just someone I used to know." Danny doesn't buy that explanation, even though it is the truth. Well, not the whole truth, but I'm not ready for the whole truth. "Danny I said I didn't want to talk about it." Danny walks back over and sits next to me on the couch. "Then why did you ask me to come in?" Oh, like I know what I'm doing. My whole world is flipping upside down. "I don't know. I don't know anything right now." I say, closing my eyes and leaning my head back on the couch. "Lindsay…" He stops and takes a deep breath. Uh oh, I don't think I'm going to like where this is going. "That guy, are you dating him?" See I knew I wasn't going to like what he had to say. I think I'm going to go with the truthful, but vague answer. "No." And also short. "Where you dating him?" That one is going to be harder to answer. I wasn't prepared to talk to Danny about this. I was kind of hoping I wouldn't have to. Short, truthful, vague. "A very long time ago." We had our first date six years ago. He didn't ask me if I was married. "Does any of this have to do with why you can't be in a relationship with me?" Avoidance might work with this question. "I thought you said it wasn't about a relationship, just dinner and a few laughs." I say. "I lied. You were giving me the 'it's not you it's me' speech. I didn't want to look like a idiot." He says, as he gets up and starts pacing. I hate when he does that. It normally means he's starting to get mad, or already is and is trying to clam himself down. "I didn't give you 'the speech'." He stops pacing and looks at me with one eyebrow raised. "Okay, I did, but I really meant it. It's not you. Trust me you don't want to be a part of my life." What the hell I am I saying? Am I stupid? Lindsay, you want this man in your life. Don't scare him away. "Yes I do. I want to be a big part of your life." Oh, good he's fighting for me this time. Wait; do I want him to do that? Yes and No. I want him and hope he wants me too. "Danny, I want you in my life. I'm just not ready yet." He looks like he is about to say something. I stop him, and say. "Before you ask, no I don't know when I will be ready. Even though I'm a little bit closer now, there are still some things I have to take care of first." Danny lifts up my chin so that I am looking at him, and says. "So that guy did have something to do with it." I nodded. "Let me guess your not going to tell me what it is." I nodded again. There is nothing I can say. I can't tell him what is really going through my head. 'Sorry Danny, even though there is a good chance I might already be in love with you. I can't be with you until I get a divorce.' I wonder if he would hate me. Danny's phone chirps. He looks down and sighs. "It's Flack. I'm late. Are you sure you don't want to go with us?" I shake my head. "No. I need to be by myself right now, maybe another time." We both get up and walk to the door. I open it for him. Before he steps out he says. "If you change your mind, about anything, or even just want someone to talk to, call me anytime." Then he leans over and kisses me on the forehead, just like Rob. Two forehead kisses in one day, I am such a loser. Danny gives me a smile and waves then walks down my hall. When he is out of sight I close my door and lean back on it. I cover my eyes and slide down to the floor. There is no maybe about it. I love Danny Messer. And there went my silly notion that my new life in New York might be easier then my old life in Montana. I get up off the floor and go get ready for bed. When I drag myself into bed, I prey for an empty, dreamless sleep. Even though I know I'm most likely to have another really good dream about Danny, just because my mind likes to torture my heart.
I think I'm going to forget the whole sister thing, because my story just won't end right if I don't. So please just forget I said anything about a sister. Sorry!