Blurred Lines
part iv
It was raining. Thick drops of water fell from the sky, darkening the grass and soaking everything in its downward path. Sakura recalled from her childhood that it rained often on the western side of the country, but her many years away from home had muddled her memory of exactly how much it drizzled. It seemed as though the grey clouds would never part to reveal the sun and the warmth hidden behind.
Her hair clung to her face and neck as the sky continued to weep, the current weather an ironic reflection of the pain and emptiness echoing within her chest. She had known of her adopted mother's illness for some time but had always been unable to catch a flight to visit for some reason or other. All those excuses now seemed so meaningless. She tried to recall when she had become so indifferent to those closest to her.
The threat of tears burned her nose and clogged her throat again as she remembered her conversation with her mother mere hours before the cancer that had been plaguing her body for some time now finally caught up with her. "Stop apologizing, dammit. It's not like you're the one dying. You chose your path and you became something because of it. Don't apologize for that: not to me, not to anyone."
Tsunade had then demanded Sakura pass her her last bottle of sake – the very thing that had triggered her deteriorating health – but she had done as asked nonetheless. Sakura knew one day she would think back on their conversation and probably laugh – Tsunade, though harsh and blunt, had always been a great source of amusement. It seemed unreal that the woman that had raised her since she was four was gone. She swallowed thickly again.
Sakura was unsure how much time passed as she sat on one of the many benches lining the hospital courtyard as she watched everything and nothing. A single crow pecked at the grass some yards away and she watched it absently as the rain continued to pepper the trees and grass around her. She had lost feeling in her body some time ago, but she was uncertain if it was due to her extended time out in the cold or her emotional state.
It was her detachment to her surroundings that kept her from immediately realizing she was no longer alone until a figure caught her gaze out of the corner of her eye. She inclined her head in their direction, sure it was one of her mother's doctors with more paperwork, only to still as she recognized those dark, onyx eyes. Immediately she tensed, well aware that she was too emotionally drained and raw to maneuver a conversation full of manipulation and half-truths with Uchiha Madara.
"I'm really not in the mood. Go away," she growled as she turned away.
She didn't expect him to listen so when he seated himself on the bench next to her, she wasn't surprised; only more agitated. However, the rain did stop and her gaze flickered upwards to see he had brought along a large umbrella that successfully protected them both from the soft drizzle.
"I heard about your mother," Madara murmured. "I offer my condolences."
The urge to cry swelled again and she turned her face away as she fought to regain control over her emotions. She would not burst out into tears in front of this man. It wasn't long before irritation slowly began to fill the painful void in her chest as she recognized that Madara knew she would be vulnerable given recent events and had chosen to come see her anyway, but she welcomed the feeling. This was an emotion she knew she could handle. Tightening her arms around herself, she glared across the yard. "You have three minutes. Speak quickly."
Madara ignored her less than pleasant tone as he held an envelope towards her. Her glare deepened as she blatantly refused to accept it, forcing a soft sigh from him. "You must see this, Sakura. I would not have brought this to your attention given the current situation unless necessary."
Pursing her lips, Sakura knew Madara had never once brought her frivolous information, and eventually she swallowed her pride as she finally held her hand out for the file, nearly ripping it from his grasp with her foul mood. Silently she pulled the single paper from the sleeve and scanned the document quickly only for her eyes to narrow as she recognized what it was: a death certificate. It was for Orochimaru.
"Is this your idea of a joke?" she snapped as she angrily jammed the paper back in its envelope. She sprang to her feet as she dumped the document back onto Madara's lap. "Orochimaru is in federal custody. I saw him two days ago."
Madara's response was much calmer and more collected. He returned the envelope to the inside of his suit before he slowly stood as well, stepping towards her until his black umbrella could protect her from the rain once more. He met her angry gaze evenly, his own expression patient and composed. "It is not a joke. Orochimaru escaped your agency's custody early this morning and was on his way out of the country when he was…prevented."
She got the feeling that word had an entirely different meaning within this conversation, and she was torn between feeling relieved that the monster that had haunted her since childhood would no longer plague her and angry that she hadn't been the one to put the bullet through his skull.
"Did you order this?" she demanded.
"Yes."
His blunt admission gave her pause. She opened her mouth, but the words caught and for some moments, the rain filled the silence. Madara never did anything without reason and she hated to think that she owed him anything.
"I didn't ask for this."
"But you wanted it."
"You should have let me handle it!"
Madara paused as he observed her. It felt as if he was watching all her anger, grief and pain twist itself into a tight knot in her chest, and it made her feel exposed – he made her feel exposed. "Under different circumstance, I would have," he said softly. "But it so happened that I needed answers from Orochimaru, answers I would have been unable to obtain unless I saw to him myself."
"I see," Sakura said slowly, coldly. "So when you told me I could have him in exchange for you, what you really wanted was for me to corner him so you could take him all for yourself. I thought we had agreed not to lie to one another."
"I did not lie, Sakura," he countered sharply. Then his voice softened. "I had no intention of taking Orochimaru from you until it became apparent that he had information on Sasuke's whereabouts-."
"Sasuke?" she interrupted sharply.
She hadn't heard her ex-partner's name spoken in some years and her chest twinged in pain to repeat it. He had left the agency after tensions had become too great between him and the rest of their team – Sakura included – and though she had her suspicions on where he had disappeared to, she had never been able to confirm his whereabouts.
"What interest is he to you?"
A look of impatience passed Madara's face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. "Come now, Sakura. Surely you must have put the pieces together before this moment. We are a large but close family."
"Of course I had my suspicions," she snapped defensively. "I had just hoped there was no connection."
The soft beat of rain filled the sudden silence that fell between them. Madara's expression was unreadable, but she met his gaze unwaveringly as her emotions twisted in her chest. She wasn't sure how she felt anymore; about Orochimaru's death, about learning there was a lead on her missing ex-partner, about Madara showing up unannounced. She was torn between wanting to punch him and wanting to pull as much information as she could from him.
After a long silence, she chose the latter. "You said Orochimaru had knowledge about Sasuke. Is that true?"
"Yes."
"Where is he?"
A small frown pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Orochimaru had somehow come in contact with Sasuke and warped his views of the world until even we, as his family, were unable to get through to him. He is beyond your reach now, Sakura. You cannot help him."
She nearly ground her teeth together. "When you say 'somehow' what you really mean is you blame me," she said lowly. "For my connection that most likely led to their meeting."
"Blame is a strong word," Madara countered smoothly. "We do not know what drove Orochimaru to Sasuke. But we are working on resolving the matter."
"But you won't tell me where he is."
"No."
His answer angered her and the urge to beat it out of him nearly overcame her again, but she settled for biting her nails into her palms as she openly glared at him; because the truth was she didn't know if she really wanted to learn of her old partner's whereabouts. She didn't know if she wanted to learn what had become of him. She was angry. And hurt. And exhausted.
"I would have stopped at nothing to ensure Orochimaru was dead," Sakura murmured, her voice both soft-spoken and yet hard in her resolve.
"I know you would have," he said honestly. "However, chasing him would have put you on the same path as your previous partner. It is best that I saw to him."
Sakura eyed him as she tried to understand the hidden meaning behind his words. Madara was a master at crafting his manner of speech, able to manipulate and deceive with little to no effort on his part, and without the receiver even realizing it was ever being done. It sounded as if he was trying to protect her, trying to restrain her from causing harm to herself, but she was uncertain. Madara only ever did things to benefit himself. He gained nothing by preventing her from tossing her own morals to the wayside.
"Did you really fly out here just to tell me about Orochimaru?" Sakura finally asked.
"I believed you would want to know," he answered, his expression unreadable.
"That doesn't answer my question."
Something flickered behind his dark eyes and immediately she knew he had been attempting to redirect their conversation. Another reason had drawn him across the country to see her and whatever it was, he was either unwilling or unable to say. She wanted to demand he answer her without the usual tricks and deceit, but before she could ask him again, a small gust of wind swept through the courtyard. It chilled her already frozen body and she unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself to fight off her sudden shiver.
"You're cold."
"I'm fine," Sakura lied stiffly, wanting to get back on topic.
She rubbed her arms in an attempt to get some feeling back only to still as she watched Madara easily shrug out of his suit jacket, his grip on the umbrella shifting, before he stepped towards her to wrap the material around her shoulders. She opened her mouth to argue as she readily grasped the coat to return it to him, but it died in her throat as his warmth and scent washed over her, and unconsciously her fingers tightened around the material.
The heat felt good against her chilled skin and she softly breathed in that familiar cologne she had inadvertently come to recognize, but she kept her expression outwardly passive as she met his gaze. "Don't think you're doing me a favor."
"I would never assume as much," Madara retorted, a small smirk playing the corner of his mouth.
She tried to match his playfulness, but it quickly faded as she felt her exhaustion slowly begin to creep up on her again. It was barely mid-morning and yet it felt as if an entire day had passed by already. She was so tired.
"Orochimaru was my mother's childhood friend," Sakura said suddenly. The words were out before she even realized she was speaking, before she could even try to stop herself. "They grew up together. I had known him for years; I trusted him. At least until a few months after I turned seventeen when he tried to kill me." She could still recall the fear she felt when he had ordered her to strip and the anger and unimaginable pain that followed when she had refused. "My mother became shielded and distrustful after that. Our entire lives changed because of him. It would have been nice to put the bullet through his skull myself."
Her gaze had grown unfocused as she spoke, her mind lost to darker memories, but then she blinked as she met Madara's gaze again. "Are you sure he's dead?"
"Yes."
The resolve in his voice left no room for doubt and she nodded in acceptance.
It was then that movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she glanced towards the hospital to see a woman dressed in scrubs was waiting for her expectantly. Sakura recognized her as her mother's doctor and close friend, Shizune, and a fresh wave of grief washed over her as she understood that she needed to make arrangements for her body and finish completing her paperwork.
Grinding her teeth together to hide the quiver of her chin, Sakura turned back to Madara. "Your three minutes are up."
She hated the way his gaze seemed to pierce through her as though he could see all the pain she was enduring, as though he could see every strained attempt she made to keep her emotions from spilling over. But he didn't speak of it as he nodded politely. "Very well."
Silently he stepped past her, ready to make his departure, only to stop again as he half-turned back to her. Her entire form froze as she felt his finger brush across her cheek, silently wiping away the single tear that had escaped down her face. His touch was gentle but gone as quickly as it had come and she found herself unable to meet his gaze as he murmured in her ear: "Safe travels, Sakura."
Then he was gone as he made his quiet retreat across the yard. Only once she could no longer hear his soft footsteps in the grass did she turn to watch his departure as he approached the nearby town car that was waiting for him. A pretty but fierce-looking woman with a shock of blue hair opened the rear door for him before she silently returned to the driver's seat and pulled the car away from the curb.
As they disappeared down the drive, Sakura turned away to approach Shizune, her mind both a scrambled mess and yet completely blank, as she replayed the feeling of his warm touch against her cool skin. She didn't know what had tempted him into reaching out to her, but she didn't allow herself to think on it as she greeted her mother's friend; there were other things that required her attention now.
It was only once Sakura had stepped back into the hospital that she realized Madara's jacket was still around her shoulders.
tbc...
Wow, this was a hard chapter. But I absolutely love it.
Thank you for the wonderful reviews - some of you have seriously made me laugh! ha