Thursday, July 20, 2023

Today was perfect.

Dad woke everyone up at the crack of dawn today and gave us this inane speech. It went something like this:

"Remember that road trip your mother and I took you on for our anniversary on when you guys were little? We roasted marshmallows and spent time stargazing and played with Glitter Sparklers from your Uncle George's shop. Well, we are going to do it again today because it's been ten years since then and we feel like reminiscing."

Gag me with a spoon. I suppose it was better than the poem he wrote for mum last Valentine's day. He was all: "Hear this now, it is true! I will always come for you! How can you be sure, you ask? Because true love cannot be masked. True love doesn't happen every day, except in the month of May."

That poem made me throw up a little in my mouth.

But ANYWAY, that wasn't the good part of today. The good part started after that, when Lily got mouthy with Mum and Dad.

"How are we going to go on a road trip if we are on this little island?" she asked first.

So Mum said, "Well, it will actually be a boat trip to the surrounding islands, but we'll do all the things we did on the road trip."

James piped up then and asked if Levana could come and Mum said of course, which made Lily freak out.

"I wanna bring a friend too!"

Mum and Dad shared a look then and finally Dad sighed and agreed as long as the friend's parents were okay with it. And of course they were, because who would tell Harry Potter they didn't trust him with their kid?

I piped up then and mentioned that I wanted to bring Scorpius. And Mum and Dad couldn't say no because they had already told Lily she could bring a friend. So Dad came with me to talk to Scorpius and his parents about coming and they agreed. I don't think Dad was expecting that because his jaw just fell open when Mr. Malfoy said he trusted Dad.

So Scorpius came with us on our ocean trip (which is what he named it, since we don't have a road or a car, just a big boat) and now I get to share a room and a bed with him for the next three nights!

Well, with him and James. When Mum and Dad rented the boat, they were only planning on the three of us kids and Levana, so they booking a Wizarding yacht with three bedrooms, one with a queen bed and two with two twin beds. So Lily and her friend and Levana are sharing one room and James, Scorpius and I are in the other one.

And I know James is going to refuse to share a bed. So in a few minutes, I am going to be cuddled up next to Scorpius Malfoy.

If that doesn't make this a perfect day, I don't know what would.

Friday, July 21, 2023

Today sucked.

Not completely, but a lot of it sucked. And not in the good way.

I wonder if Scorpius would mind if I sucked him off.

I'm a little bit horny right now. Unfortunately, I didn't get to sleep with Scorpius last night. Dad popped into our room just as we were getting ready for bed and transfigured a spare blanket into a mattress. So I didn't share a bed with him. Instead I slept on a lumpy bed on the floor that transfigured itself back into a blanket in the middle of the night. Essentially I slept on the floor, which means my whole body aches. I knew I should have asked Mum to do the transfiguration instead; hers hold up much longer than Dad's do.

But! This morning, when I woke up, everyone else was still asleep. So I got to ogle Scorpius for a while.

He's so hot. And he looks amazing when he wakes up with sleep tousled hair. Not to mention how sexy it is when he stretches in front of me and I can see his muscles ripple under his skin. And then we went and took our showers and I may have possibly barged into the bathroom with an "urgent" need to pee just as he was getting dressed. Which gave me a view of his morning wood. Which made me too hard to pee. Which make Scorpius stare at me. Which made both of us blush. Which made me back out of the bathroom to go wank in the cupboard because it was the only room in the house that didn't have anyone in it.

All in all, it was an embarrassing, but nice (very, very nice) experience.

Things went downhill from there. Lily got mad again when Mum and Dad informed us that everyone would be moving around the various islands together. She said she hated being treated like a baby and James laughed at her and said she was the baby. So she waited until Mum turned her back and then she called James a bastard.

He glared at her and asked, "Merlin, how did you get to be such a bitch?"

And she just smirked and said, "That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that..."

Of course Mum caught her cussing and hollered at her for it, which made James happy and put Lily into bitch-mode for the rest of the day.

For example, when we got to one of the islands, there was a landmark tree that wizards have been carving their names into for decades. Most of the lower trunk is full of names now, so Scorpius and I just put our initials on the tree. I put AS, and then P right below it, so he wrote his name next to mine in the same fashion, only he wouldn't write his middle initial. (Apparently he thinks I would laugh at his middle name, but with a name like Albus Severus, who I am to laugh?)

Lily looked at our names though and said, "Ass." Scorpius thought she was talking about his refusal to write down his middle name, so he got angry at her and stomped off. Lily just laughed and told me that it made sense that a pair of dweebs like us would have "ASS" for our combined initials.

I flicked her off then and followed after Scorpius, watching his ass as he walked away. It was hot.

Scorpius spent the rest of the day upset and Mum and Lily kept fighting. Plus, I think Lily's friend was trying to flirt with me. She's only fourteen and looks like a ten year old, so the thought of flirting with her really grosses me out. Ick.

And now it's time for bed and Mum already transformed the blanket for me again. Which means that I won't be sharing a bed with Scorpius again.

Today has been sucky. And not in a good way.

Saturday, July 22, 2023

We went to a water park today. It's apparently some kind of muggle playground. This was a wizarding version thought. It was really cool. There were all of these fun slides to go down and a HUGE pool to swim in. Then there was another pool that made really big waves, a pool to dive into, a long flowing river thing and a salt water pool you could snorkel in full of all kinds of fish and these awesome baby sharks.

Mum and Dad didn't want to go to the water park. They wanted to have some more quality family time. Blech. Luckily Lily and her friend both had a fit when they saw a floating billboard ad for it this morning and Dad got tired of listening to them whine and gave in.

The best part of going to the water park was that it was all self contained, so Mum and Dad didn't have to worry about us wandering off where we shouldn't be. So they let us wander around on our own while they acted all lovey-dovey on the couple rides. James and Levana disappeared immediately. I think they went off to some bathroom somewhere to have sex. Ick. Lily and her friend (Marsha? Marcia? Maria?) tried to follow Scorpius and me around, but we ditched them and headed off on our own.

It was so much fun. We went on a ton of rides and swam in all of the pools. The best part was Scorpius didn't wear a shirt all day long. So I got to stare at his chest and arms and stomach. Have I mentioned how much I love his muscles? I love his muscles.

Scorpius seemed to have a lot of fun too. We spent the time when we were waiting in line talking and we have a lot in common. We never ran out of things to discuss. He didn't seem to mind when I touched him either. So I touched him a lot, just a hand on his shoulder or a play punch to the gut. And he touched me too, less than I touched him, but he still poked me in the sides a couple times and nudged me once. So I'm hopeful that he maybe likes me a little bit.

Later…

Scorpius came over just a second ago and told me that I could sleep with him tonight. Not like that of course. But he said he feels bad that my bed keeps turning into a blanket in the middle of the night. (It did it again last night.) So we can share the bed.

Is it wrong that this makes me happier than spending all day at a water park?

Sunday, July 23, 2023

Mum and Dad did this whole family thing today. They dropped Scorpius and Levana and Lily's friend off at the resort and then took us to a nearby island to have a "family togetherness day."

It actually wasn't that bad. We did a lot of things we haven't done in years. We had a picnic on the beach. Then we looked for sea shells and built a sand castle. Dad pulled out some Whiz-Bang Sparklers as the sun went down, real ones instead of the safety Glitter Sparklers we had as kids. We lit a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and picked out constellations in the sky.

Lily wasn't a brat and James was nice for a change. I really had fun. I can't remember the last time all of us just spent time together like that. It was probably way back before James started Hogwarts. It kind of made me sad though because this is probably going to be the last time we are all together. Now that James is done with school, he's going to be moving out. I'm done with school this year too. So we'll be gone soon and it will just be Lily for a couple of years before Mum and Dad are all alone.

I'm excited to be growing up, but so much change is scary.

Monday, July 24, 2023

Scorpius is avoiding me. I've spent all day trying to find him, but he's nowhere to be found! I checked in the teen area and down at the beach. I looked in the pool. I stuck my head in all of the restaurants. I peeked in the sauna. I went and bothered his parents up in their room. They said he was down in the gym, so I went there. I even looked in the salon! And I can't find him anywhere.

I miss him. Isn't that pathetic? He's only been out of my sight for a day and I already miss him.

I just thought of something. Maybe he isn't avoiding me. Maybe he's just hanging out with someone else.

Like Dick-head.

I hope he isn't hanging out with Dick-head. I was hoping he could get over him on the ocean trip. Scorpius never once talked about him. I thought he had forgotten about him. Maybe he was just pining away for the jerk though.

How can I be jealous when I don't have any idea if that's even the truth? Why am I so jealous? I never get this jealous over the girls I date. What make Scorpius different?

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

I was jealous over nothing. Scorpius was hanging about in the teen area all day and thought I was avoiding him. Turns out I missed him by ten minutes when I left in the morning and then I never went back to check again. We bumped into each other at breakfast this morning though and figured everything out.

We planned on meeting by the pool and going swimming too (Mum and Dad have finally agreed to let me wander about the place on my own, so I don't have to stay with the teen group), but that didn't work out because it started raining. We headed back to my room then to talk.

I tried to read the lines and figure out what Scorpius was really saying. I couldn't decide what it was though. When I looked into his eyes, the simple explanation I thought I had discovered Disapparated. I tried to ask him to tell me something I didn't already know about him and he said everything he could think of was too dreary and dreadful like the weather.

I told him to "bring on the rain" and he just laughed and said it was more like "bring on the pain." But I sat and listened. I had to; I couldn't move a muscle when he started talking about himself and letting me in on his feelings. It was like I was struck with lightning. His words echoed my feeling about life exactly. Even when he started thundering about how much he hates the paparazzi, I listened. I felt like our emotions were so close in that moment that I could feel them in my veins. I think his voice will be what I focus on in my memories of the summer, like my own personal soundtrack.

When he started talking about how he felt when he realized Dick-head didn't love him it was like I could feel his pain in my own chest. And I realized it was because I was in pain myself.

I realized I was in love and Scorpius didn't love me back.

I needed to step outside onto the balcony then, just to breath. And also to hide the tears I started to cry. They blended in with the rain and Scorpius was none the wiser when he came out to join me. He looked miserable then, his memories of Dick-head depressing him again. So I held his hand with mine and I told him that he was unlike any one else. And we must have spent an hour like that, just holding hands and standing in the pouring rain. I realized that while my love hurts, I don't want to ever love another man or woman. What I'm feeling inside, I don't want to ever lose. And I never want to lose Scorpius.

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Scorpius and I spent a lazy day at the beach today. It could have been boring, but now that I know I love him, every moment I spend with him feels more precious than the last. It's like I'm walking on sunshine, and it feels so good. I thought last night that maybe I loved him, but now I know it's true. Every glance he gives me makes me tingle and every touch makes me burn. I feel alive. I feel in love, like I'm wrapped up in this really real love.

I'm just afraid that I'll have to say good bye to him at the station in September. Once summer vacation is over, we'll end up back at Hogwarts, back in our normal routine and he'll say bye-bye, so long, farewell. There's danger in the summer moon above, danger that I'll lose my heart to a summer love who'll dump me come September. Then I'll be left alone.

I don't want to spend my whole life waiting for him. And I don't want him for just a day or a weekend, but I'm counting the days and hours and the minutes I spend with him. I can't stand the idea of giving up this time, but I don't want to fall in love just to lose him once the summer's through.

It's like I'm standing on the edge of the cliff and the tiniest push could send me over the edge. And at this point, I'm not sure I'd really mind the fall. It's just the crash at the bottom that scares me.