Chapter 4.
Dreams, Waking Thoughts and Incidents.*
Only Xena could know what she felt at this moment. Kneeling in the mud beside the unconscious form of Gabrielle; opposite the very Amazon she and Gabrielle had been chasing for the last four days; and now faced with the greatest test of her abilities she had ever encountered.
"She can't have a fractured skull!" The warrior spat these words out with a ferocity that equalled the need she felt in her heart.
Around the three women the storm kept up its whining roar through the trees. Everything outside the circle of firelight was in deepest darkness. And from above came the fierce screaming of the tempest as it scythed through the vast forest as if it were no more than a small copse.
The canopies of the huge trees groaned like live things as the power of the wind dragged them backwards and forwards. The thrashing of the thick leafy branches sounded like linen sheets being ripped apart; though on a grand scale. At ground level leaves; bits of small broken twigs; and gravelly pebbles were being hurled through the air, to beat at the crouching women like stones from a Roman catapult.
The Amazon ran a hand through her short brown hair and looked over at the great Warrior Princess. Having been hunted through impenetrable forest for days had not been enjoyable for the young girl. Now, sitting here right beside the most dangerous woman in Greece, Otrera had further worries. Not least of which was—would Xena accept her presence and offer of help.
"I know you have more knowledge of medicine than I do." Otrera tried to word her reply carefully. "But I can see her more from a-a slight distance-as a patient! Everyone knows of your strong bond with Gabrielle. It may cloud your feelings!"
"How serious is it?" Xena was struggling to hold on to her grasp of the situation as she looked from the supine form outlined by the firelight, to the young Amazon kneeling by her side.
"Perhaps not as bad as you assume!" The Amazon's voice held a note of real optimism as she looked across at the warrior. "I think it's a small fracture. The blood has flowed freely; but that always happens with even slight head-wounds!"
"But what makes you think her skull's fractured?" Xena sought for any excuse to soften her worry. "Ain't it just a nasty knock on the head? We've both had those before. You just wake up with a headache, then everything's fine!"
"Not after a giant forest tree falls on you!" Otrera felt the necessity to be frank rather than kind, realising it was the best way through to Xena in her present state. "I made a careful examination for just that reason. Under the open wound I can feel a faint line; maybe half a finger's-length long. The bone isn't depressed though. There shouldn't be complications. Though she may be slightly dis-oriented when she wakes up at first."
Xena looked dubious and glanced from the still form on the ground to the face of the Amazon girl in front of her; clearly searching for any way to believe things were not as bad as they seemed.
"Look here. At Gabrielle's eyes." Otrera sat back on her heels and spoke calmly but with authority. "Do you see?"
Xena bent tenderly over the slight form and gazed at the closed lids which hid those wonderful green pools of light that meant so much to her.
"I see some bruising below them. Pretty bad. Like someone's given her two black eyes!"
"That's a sign of a fractured skull." Otrera spoke with such plain certainty that even Xena had to accept her words. "Small blood vessels are broken on the side of the skull, and for some reason it shows under the eyes. It's a sure sign!"
"Hades! We're in the middle of nowhere! How can we tend to her here?" Xena gazed around, out into the darkness beyond the small fire.
"She needs somewhere to rest." Otrera glanced at the torn branches and piles of leaves scattered all round them. "Where we are now is not good!"
As she spoke the wind howled through the small clearing beside the wreck of the huge tree; scattering leaves and other debris, and throwing dust into the eyes of the women. Xena leant protectively over Gabrielle, shielding her till the squall had passed over; leaving thrashing branches and roaring echoes in its wake. The rain also seemed to have gained a second strength, falling at an angle in solid waves so that water could actually be seen washing down the trunks of the nearby trees.
It had long ago soaked the women to their skins so that they had hardly noticed their condition for the past several hours; but now this was brought home to Xena as she placed a gentle hand on Gabrielle's face to brush away a leaf.
"We need to find some sorta shelter, real quick!" Xena stared all round, as if trying to pierce the darkness with her eyes alone. "I wish I could think straight! I can't feel the forest with my mind!"
"Neither can I." Otrera nodded as she rose to her feet. She stepped to the side of the sheltered area under the massive branch and returned with a short bough which she stuck into the rapidly weakening fire. "I'll use this as a torch. Can you carry Gabrielle a short way?"
"I can carry Gabrielle to the World's End!" The warrior growled as she knelt beside her lover. "Just light the way and I'll be right there with ya!"
"I found a cave. A dry cave, not so far distant." Otrera stood by the warrior's side as Xena gently cradled the Amazon Queen in her arms; rising to her feet as if she were merely carrying a child. "Shouldn't take long to reach it. Be careful of the wet soil and the roots."
—OOO—
Within a minute of leaving the flickering camp-fire, in its protected spot under the collapsed branch of the huge tree, the women were enclosed in stygian darkness. A darkness so gloomy and solid it would have been impenetrable without a torch. Even so the flame, as Otrera held the improvised light above her head, guttered frighteningly as the constant gusts of wind beat against the slowly moving group.
As Xena walked close behind the young Amazon she realised for the first time that the temperature was also chilly; and this made her wonder if Gabrielle might already be suffering from that curious susceptibility that she had seen other people, exposed to the cold in such conditions, succumb to.
The rain coursed down her face in a continuous stream, and the wind caught at her deerskin jerkin and leggings as if someone were importuning her at every step. Often she had to pause to regain her stance as powerful gusts almost succeeded in throwing her off-balance, or made her lose her footing on the wet muddy soil. As Otrera had warned, the hidden roots twisting everywhere across the invisible ground were a constant danger.
The lightning also kept up its overwhelming presence; tearing the unseen sky above into shreds as multiple flashes rent the clouds, high-lighting the surrounding undergrowth of bushes and bracken: sending sudden shafts of darkest black across the forest floor as a tree's shadow was intensified a thousand-fold. Then came the succeeding blindness as eyes tried and failed to acclimatise to the darkness again. And the never-ending rolling thunder made conversation, or even the exchange of a few words, almost impossible as they trekked on.
Through all this Xena's only thought was in keeping Gabrielle as safe as possible. She cradled the Amazon's head against her chest while she held her close with one arm around her ribs and the other beneath her knees. Xena was well aware of Gabrielle's two broken ribs, and tried to lessen the pressure on that side as much as possible as she walked through the storm with tight-set lips.
Otrera, it seemed, had much experience in this sort of environment and was keeping a steady pace; though her slight figure was often thrown from side to side in the flurry of rain-squalls that seemed intent on attacking them without respite. As she walked Xena found herself thinking, almost in parallel but at a distance from her present circumstances, about the reasons for their current dangerous position.
Why had she ever thought it a good idea for Gabrielle to hunt the renegade Amazon? Why had she so blithely accompanied her; as if it were a mere side-issue of no importance? Why had she so completely under-estimated the harshness of the forest and the dangers it held?
Damn this wind! She was nearly thrown to her knees by a strong gust that staggered her in her tracks. The Amazon girl turned and reached out a hand to grasp Gabrielle and steady them both. Xena found her feet again and plodded on.
It was her own fault, of course! Xena rebuked herself unforgivingly as she thought about the first few days of the hunt, where they had both treated the exercise more like a party than the real-life tragedy it actually was. Hunting someone like an animal through terrain such as this was no laughing matter, and should have been undertaken with a large party working to a reliable plan. She and Gabrielle going off into the unknown forest as they had done was simply imbecile, she now realised. Probably pure luck they had managed to get so far before any accident occurred to either of them.
And this brought another reflection to castigate the warrior woman as she stumbled carefully in the light of the sputtering torch: what if she herself had been the victim of some accident, out here far from safety! Leaving Gabrielle to cope with her, Xena's, unconscious form? The thought of this brought a guilty sob to her throat at the contemplation of the position Gabrielle would have been left in. For a moment her sight was further hindered by the uncontrollable tears that blinded her eyes. Otrera chose this instant to turn to give Xena an encouraging glance; but noticed nothing, as tears in rain vanish and are invisible.
Xena hugged Gabrielle more tightly, though still with infinite gentleness. Whatever it took; whatever danger she had to endure, she was going to make sure that Gabrielle survived this peril.
By the Gods! Did this wind never give up? Another gust had caught her solidly in the midriff as they came round the side of one of the forest giants. Like the fist of an enraged God the wind hit Xena full-on; her foot slipped on the miry leaf-soaked surface, and she collapsed to her knees, only just managing to keep a grasp of Gabrielle's frail form.
Otrera was at her side instantly and between them Xena struggled to her feet once more. With a nod of thanks Xena set her face forwards again and stumbled on. As they walked, at a necessarily slow pace because of the wind, lightning, slippery ground, and darkness, the Warrior Princess found herself looking at the back of the young Amazon struggling on ahead; and began to wonder about her presence and connection to their present circumstances.
Was it the Amazon's fault all this was happening to Gabrielle now? Or was it a Gods-given gift that she should be here at this present time, and capable of giving the help that was so sorely needed? What should Xena think of the Amazon girl? She had hunted her like a deer for days; only to discover too late that the Amazon was nearly Xena's equal at fading into the very soul of the deep forest and disappearing without trace.
How long was it since she had been so thoroughly overwhelmed by circumstances and her opponents? Xena found herself having to think back to dark days as a young rebel leader with her embryonic army of thugs and layabouts to come up with even a close comparison. She suddenly realised that the young girl in the soaked deerskins, walking through the night in front of her; lighting the way through the terrible storm with arm held high, clearly had an intimate knowledge of her surroundings. The Amazon girl had probably lived in the forest; grown up with it; and knew it as a child knows its parents. With a sudden jolt that actually sent a tremor through her body Xena realised that without the girl here now the chances of Gabrielle surviving would have been almost nil.
And here Xena was; Gabrielle clasped in her arms, and she herself completely in the hands of a young Amazon rebel who should be feeling nothing but antipathy towards her. If she did, Xena thought quietly to herself, then it was just as well that the girl put her love of the Amazon Queen above the hatred she must feel for Xena. The Warrior Woman regarded the Amazon thoughtfully; she could understand that.
Another brilliant flash of lightning, followed by the inevitable deafening crash of thunder, jerked her thoughts back to the present. The trees and undergrowth around them looked just the same here as the stretch of endless unforgiving forest they had left behind. Where was the Amazon taking them; and did she really know where she was going in this Tartarus-like wilderness?
"Where—where—!" Xena found she was struggling for breath. The effort to carry Gabrielle through this wasteland in constant upheaval was proving more difficult than even she could cope with.
"The cave?" Otrera had stopped and stood by Xena's side, peering closely at Gabrielle's face nestling against Xena's jerkin. "I left a few knife-marks on the trees. I can just about follow them still. Less than a stadia and we'll be there. Look for the shadow of a small ridge right ahead somewhere!"
Xena gritted her teeth and set out once more. Otrera walked forward, torch held high, keeping a close eye on both the ground ahead and the couple following behind. Their progress was slow, but it was progress all the same.
Just as Xena found herself beginning to gasp for breath with every step she took, Otrera suddenly stopped and stepped to one side. Looking up with rain-blurred eyes Xena saw the massive bulk of a ridge; almost completely invisible except for its black silhouette, rearing up right ahead.
"We go round this way." Otrera grasped Xena's arm and gently guided her as the women carefully traversed the loose stones and rubble at the base of the slope. They came to a much lower incline where the ridge came to an end. Taking Xena over this uneven ground, watchful of every step the heavily-burdened warrior took, the Amazon led them across the small slope to where a low cliff formed the far side of the ridge. Another few yards and Otrera bent to pull some branches out of the way, revealing the entrance to the cave. Going in first with her now guttering torch Otrera then stood back while Xena followed; crouching low as she entered, then standing tall again inside the solid safe confines of the cavern. Both women heaved a sigh of relief together.
—OOO—
Once settled in the cave, at a spot beyond the curving passage and in the more open chamber beyond, Otrera took only a few moments to gather some sticks and dry boughs from a pile against the far wall then stack them carefully on the sandy floor. Within a minute, using the almost spent torch, she had a crackling warm fire going strongly.
Xena had also knelt by the wall to deposit her burden with infinite gentleness. All three were soaked to the skin so would have to wait for the fire to warm them; but Otrera pointed to a small leather shoulder-bag in the corner inside which Xena found a clean linen blouse and jerkin. She realised, through the haze of emotions that had been swamping her thoughts for the past hours, that she too had another pair of deerskin leggings in her own pack. Moving gently; while Otrera worked beside the fire, Xena soon had Gabrielle changed into a full set of dry clothes.
"She's still unconscious." Xena bent over the still form, looking into her face outlined in the firelight. "Very pale. That wound in her head is still bleeding some."
"I have some clean linen here." Otrera reached into her pack and handed over a small cloth. "It'll do to bandage her head. But don't wrap it too tightly!"
"I'll be careful." Xena bent to her task gently. "I'd like to put a couple of stitches in; but I think it'd be better to do that in the morning."
Then the Amazon joined her as they both looked at Gabrielle's left ankle.
"Broken, definitely!" Xena gently ran a finger across the slightly twisted foot.
"Yes," Otrera looked closely at the foot and leg. "Right at the top of the ankle. But it seems like a clean break. There are some small strong sticks here. You can splint her foot and tear up this shirt for bandages."
Xena worked expertly. Within a few minutes the foot was splinted and bandaged so that it was efficiently held in place. Otrera watched with astonishment at the speed with which Xena completed her ministrations. It was suddenly brought home to the Amazon that here was someone with vast knowledge and experience of wounds and injuries. Otrera found herself wondering about the details of the warrior's life; which seemed to her surrounded, as it did to almost everybody, by myths rather than known facts. But this was not the time or place for such questions.
"Two ribs broken just in front of her left arm." Xena's fingers moved tenderly over Gabrielle's skin. "She must have taken the force of the branch's hit on that side! Probably best to leave her unbandaged, though. Help her breathe more easily. Gods! What a night!"
"I still have some roots and olives." The Amazon quietly changed the subject, after a moment, as she turned on her heel back towards the fire. "Do you have any food in your pouch?"
Xena took the leather sack from her left shoulder, where she had virtually forgotten its existence and opened it. A quick search brought out in the light; to both women's relief, a haunch of rabbit and a small bird Xena had killed the day previously just before the storm had begun.
"Thanks!" Otrera's relief was clear. "The rabbit will make a good broth for Gabrielle in the morning. "We can have the bird now, along with a few corn-cakes I still have."
Otrera immediately started to cut up the bird, then placed the breast and wings to cook on a flat stone at the edge of the fire.
"When d'ya think she'll wake?" The Amazon glanced across, as she worked, at the warrior crouching by Gabrielle's side. "It's been a couple of hours since the accident!"
"A heavy whack on the head like the one she took? Could easily be tomorrow morning before she opens her eyes!" Xena fiddled with a short stick she was grasping idly. "Just as well it was an out-lying branch that knocked her over, and not the main trunk itself! And only one of the lesser boughs of that, too! Gods, she's been lucky!"
After a moment, as the Amazon knelt by the fire intent on her cooking, Xena rose quietly from her sitting position. She strode back along the cave to where the entrance was sheltered by the over-arching bush outside, and pulled a leafy twig aside to peer out into the black night.
There was virtually nothing to be seen; at least by human eye alone. The multitude of trees all around were invisible; even to Xena's sharply honed senses. The thick leaf-covered canopies high above; now being torn hither and thither by unimaginable forces, screamed in torment as they bowed and shook before the rage of the heavens. The ground itself trembled under the huge gusts of hurricane-force wind ripping through the close-set giant trees as if they were mere bamboo saplings. Every so often a flash of lightning lit the shadows of the nearer glades with a brilliance so intense the eye felt as if a red-hot needle had cut across it. And scything through the forest, driven nearly horizontally by the wind's cyclopean strength, the rain hit like a solid object.
Even Xena found it impossible to stay out in this maelstrom of tormented forces for any length of time, and was soon driven back into the confines of the cave. It looked as if they had only just escaped the very worst of the storm, as it strove to wreak its insane fury on the encompassing forest.
Xena dragged the boughs of the bush more securely across the cave-mouth; trying to make as formidable a barrier to the weather outside as possible, then retreated back to the further chamber. Her jerkin and hair, she discovered, were once more soaked through; even though she had only been exposed for a minute or so.
The Amazon girl motioned that the food was nearly ready, as Xena quietly stepped across to the supine form by the cave-wall.
"She's still sleeping soundly." Xena spoke as much from relief, as the need to impart imformation to the Amazon nearby. "That's a good thing. Hope it keeps up! The storm's blowing wild outside!"
"Probably will for the next few hours, yet!" The girl set the pieces of aromatic meat on a couple of little platters. "Gabrielle should be able to rest quietly now, though. The food's ready to eat!"
—OOO—
They finished the light meal quickly, and Xena immediately returned to Gabrielle's side while Otrera cleared up around the fire.
"You'll take the first watch, I suppose?" The Amazon spoke first as the shadows flickered on the stone walls.
"Yep! You don't have—"
"Another two hours, then I'll take over!" Otrera looked over at the tall figure of the warrior. "The night's half done as it is! If I watch for a couple of hours the morning should be on us by then. And you'll need strength to help with Gabrielle when she wakes up. Remember, she might be a little hazy at first about things! We'll have the rabbit broth ready for her then, too."
"Yeah, OK. But afterwards?" Xena voiced something that had been worrying her for some time. "We're still in the middle of the greatest wilderness I've ever experienced. These damned trees just go on endlessly! How can we transport Gabrielle outta here to safety?"
"You're not a Kerkini Amazon, Xena?" Otrera clasped her knees together as she watched the seated figure leaning back against the rock wall of the cave beside Gabrielle.
"Never pretended to be!"
"But I am." Otrera now spoke with a conviction that made Xena stare at her curiously. "These Kerkini forests have been my home since I was born. I was brought up learning the arts of survival in the shade of these trees; and there isn't anything I don't know about how to stay alive, or find my way, in this terrain. That's why I'm heading in the direction I am!"
"We thought you were trying to reach the border with Thrace?" Xena wasn't used to being outguessed by her opponents, but this was clearly one of those times. "Just running for cover, and hoping you were headed in more or less the right direction?"
Before Otrera could answer there was a flash of lightning which again lit up the depths of the cave; then from outside came the unmistakable roar as another of the giant trees gave up its fight against the raging tempest, and fell to earth with a tremendous crash. They didn't feel anything much inside the cave, but the noise was deafening. When they emerged from the cave in the morning, and the storm finally relented, the forest-floor would certainly be changed from that they had so recently trekked through.
"Running for cover!" Otrera recommenced where Xena had left off. "No. I always knew where I was going! Maybe not the precise route—I've never come through this part of the forest before. It's Calessi Amazon land. But I knew if I headed North-West I'd eventually cross over into Torrequa Amazon territory. My own tribe!"
"I see!" Xena realised she and Gabrielle had completely under-estimated the young girl. "Heading for some particular spot, maybe?"
"Yeah. The Amahana River!" Otrera nodded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It lies about another 2 or 3 parasangs to the North now, I think. When we reach it we should be able to sail right down to the main Torrequa village. By raft, maybe! Say some 20 parasangs South-West. Ten or so sailing hours!"
"Aphrodite's Belt!" Xena was utterly stunned. "You mean we're not in the middle of nowhere after all? That we can reach an Amazon camp in one day's sailing along a river! Great Artemis in Olympus!"
"You were hunting me through a wilderness, in what you took to be an aimless meander!" Otrera shrugged her shoulders. "I was travelling across country I understood intimately; to a destination I always knew was there, and that I could reach safely!"
From her position sitting by Gabrielle's side Xena could only contemplate the facts of the matter. This small thin Amazon girl; who looked so dishevelled and tired, had in fact used the forest with proficiency at every step. For the first time in several harrowing hours Xena really began to hope their situation was changing for the better. Beside her Gabrielle breathed softly, as she lay by the warm fire, covered in Xena's dry jerkin.
—OOO—
Some time later as Xena sat gazing, now at the flickering flames of the small fire; now at the wavering shadows dancing across the cave walls; and constantly at the quiet silent figure of Gabrielle lying by her side, she mused over recent events.
Looking back in memory everything seemed like a dream; an impossible nightmare. The appalling storm, like nothing Xena had ever experienced before. Seeking shelter in the inhospitable landscape. And then the terrible finale. Xena could see the tree falling on Gabrielle as if the event were scorched on her memory. Then the absolute terror of searching frantically for any sign of her in the aftermath. And her success attributable to the small figure now lying asleep on the other side of the small cave. A young girl whom Xena had been single-mindedly pursuing for many days, and who should have nothing but fear and resentment in her heart towards the Warrior Princess.
Xena turned her head slowly so as not to disturb the silent figure lying by her side, red-gold hair shining in the firelight. Gabrielle had moved a couple of times in the last hour, but only small quivers; nothing like a return to consciousness. Xena went back to considering the figure of the Amazon who had been till recently the focus of her own detemined pursuit.
What was it that drove the girl? Supposedly running for her life, she had decided to reveal herself to her pursuer because love of her Amazon Queen was greater than fear for her own life.
Xena laid her head against the cave wall and considered how Gabrielle seemed able to create love in others; love of such intensity they would willingly endanger themselves for her safety. She sat forward again and gently laid her hand on the warm cloth covering Gabrielle's chest. Xena felt the heart beating steadily and was relieved by this sign of continued strength.
The cave was warm now; its curving passage making a fine windbreak which, allied with the bushes growing across the entrance, made the cave chamber a cosy refuge from the tempest still assaulting the land outside. Xena again looked into the low-burning fire, thinking of how she would make this sorry affair up to Gabrielle when she had fully recovered. And once more she gazed at the sleeping form of the Amazon renegade, still wondering about her motivations.
Xena watched the shadows on the cave wall dancing in the moving light. They seemed to reflect, in some ways, the stupid pursuit she had undertaken through the forest. She and Gabrielle had supposed they saw real life, and were chasing a real criminal: but actually what they saw was only a shadow of reality, while they ran after a wraith. And it had all ended in a near tragedy which injured Gabrielle. Xena's sense of responsibility made her grit her teeth as she made a silent oath to herself that she would never again put her lover in such danger. She would think long and hard first; and only take action afterwards, when both knew exactly what was required.
Surprising how love could sometimes blind one to the real dangers of any course of action. Her love of Gabrielle had let her go with the Amazon Queen into the wild forest on a jaunt that could only end in disaster from the moment they walked under the shade of the first tree. And here was the end result; Gabrielle lying unconscious while they sat in the middle of an untamed amd merciless wasteland.
But tomorrow they would set out towards the river the Amazon girl was confident lay close at hand; and Xena somehow believed her, more than she had believed in anything in the last few days. It would be a simple matter to build a small raft and then a few more hours would finally see Gabrielle in safe hands. A tear ran down Xena's cheek and she put up a finger to rub her left eye in embarassment, even though the Amazon girl was certainly asleep beyond the low fire.
Again Xena leaned over to softly pull the deerskin jerkin further over Gabrielle, As she did so she felt a breath from her lips and a small faint sigh, while her head, enclosed in locks of long red hair which sparkled in the firelight, moved gently from side to side. Perhaps her long sleep was lightening and she would soon awake again?
How many times had Gabrielle herself sat beside Xena when she had been wounded and needed assistance. How often had Gabrielle struggled against the odds to accomplish great things on Xena's behalf? How often had Xena never really given Gabrielle the recognition she deserved?
Dreams, waking thoughts, and incidents. Dreams that only revealed themselves as nightmares in disguise. Waking thoughts that tore at the heart with remorse of so many things done wrongly. Incidents comprised of past actions she would so much rather forget! And her only anchor in this world of pain and guilt now lying injured at her feet. Xena looked at the quiescent figure under the warm coverings and was swamped by an overwhelming tide of anxiety that made her shiver, even in the warmth of the fire.
"My turn now!"
The sound of the girl's voice startled Xena so much she jerked upright with a gasp. The Amazon stood over her with an outstretched hand, as if she had only just thought better of touching Xena's shoulder.
Xena grasped the still extended hand and pulled herself to her feet beside the young girl; so painfully small beside the towering presence of the Warrior Princess.
"Thanks for that. I was nearly asleep, anyway!"
"How is Gabrielle?"
"She's doing well, I think." Xena looked down at the figure on the dry sandy floor. "She's moved once or twice, and I think she groaned a little a while ago."
"The unconciousness is probably wearing off at last." Otrera nodded as she moved over to crouch beside Gabrielle. "By morning she'll certainly come-to for real. You'd better lie down and get some sleep. Dawn in less than two hours, I think!"
"And then?" Xena couldn't help asking the question.
"And then the River, and safety!" Otrera spoke with absolute confidence as she took up position beside the still figure of her Queen.
—OOO—
Note—
*—'Dreams, Waking Thoughts, and Incidents.' Title shamelessly stolen from William Beckford, author of 'Vathek.'
Chapter 5 will contain a dramatic river journey; but remember, they still have to reach the river!