Hullo thar! :3 I would have updated a few days ago, if AT&T didn't disconnect the internet =_=
Anyways, I know the song Poker Face is actually written by Gaga in a woman's perspective, but I think it could go either ways.
A woman is with a man but fantasizes about being with a woman, therefore, that man can't read her "Poker Face"
Anywho, it's Kyle's POV. Enjoy3

Poker Face
Lady Gaga

Kyle awoke the next morning struggling to drag his ass out of bed. But after realizing that there was only 10 minutes left until the bus left, Kyle only had time to throw on his clothes and fly out the door into the flurry of snowflakes. Yeah, perfect fucking way to start the morning. A shitty day followed by no sleep followed again by a shitty day. Lovely.

Kyle walked as quickly as his frozen legs would permit him, feeling his feet and emotional state sink lower and lower into the snow beneath him. The shivering Jew reached the bus stop right when the doors to the bus were shutting, so he kicked his leg in between the door to keep it open, but yelped in pain since his foot was still a little numb from walking in the thick snow. The door opened automatically and large warm hads roughly pulled Kyle up into the vehicle.

"God you're such a dumbass, and since when is the goody goody jewfag late for the bus anyways?" The unwanted voice of Eric Cartman spoke from above him.

"Since you started ruining my social life you asshole," Kyle shoved Cartman away and searched for a seat within the mass of students not wanting to walk to school in the cold.

"Heh, are you finally admitting defeat then Kahl?" Cartman sneered.

"Tch, as if," Kyle retorted back.

"Big words there Jew, oh and as much as I'd hate to be seen sitting next to a faggot like you, there's no more empty seats left except the one behind Kenny and Butters.

"Great, just great," Kyle grumbled as he moped to his seat behind the two blonde boys. Butters was cheerfully singing along to the song "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga on his ipod. Kenny on the other hand was reading his "history textbook" which actually consisted of a Playboy hidden behind the textbook so it looked like he was studying. Kenny set his "learning material" down and turned around in his seat to face Kyle's direction just as Cartman sat back down next to Kyle.

"Hey dudes," Kenny greeted them, "Kyle' you look like shit."

"What the fuck ever..," Kyle responded, clearly not in the mood to talk to anyone especially after remembering that he had skived off his homework last night and would recieve yet another detention.

"Kahl just has more sand than usual up his ass this morning," Cartman replied nonchalantly.

"Since when does Kyle have sand us his ass now? I thought it was always his vagina," Kenny inquired to the larger boy curiously.

"Well duh, Stan's the one with the pussy since he is one, and Kyle's the jewfag that takes it up the ass," Cartman responded back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What, so you're the one who gives it?" Kenny casually asked. Kyle perked his ears at this question. Kenny didn't know anything did he? Or maybe he knew something about Cartman? Wait...no no no NO, it's not like Kyle has actually DONE anything with Cartman...urgh it was going to be a long day. Kyle pretended to not hear what was just asked and continued staring out the frosty window, a light blush sweeping across his cheeks.

"What!" Cartman yelled loudly enough to get Butters attention now too. "First of all Kenny, I am NOT fucking gay, and even if I was, I wouldn't be gay for that Jew!" Kenny turned to Kyle to see if he'd get a reaction of some sort from him, but Kyle just kept trying to suppress the emotions inside him. Unfortunately, Kyle just couldn't suppress the blush still trying to sneak to the surface of his cheeks. Kenny noticing this, smirked in approval.

"Dude...stand up for your fucking self," Cartman lightly punched Kyle's shoulder in hopes to break his silence.

"Fuck off fatass," Kyle automatically responded without thinking. Wow. Really? Best comeback ever right?

"Dude! Kahl what crawled up your ass and died!" Cartman grabbed Kyle forcefully by the shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Hmm...your dick?" suggested Kenny innocently with that same mischievious smirk on his lips.

Ok, seriously, Kyle couldn't take it anymore. Kenny was doing this on purpose. He somehow knew about Kyle's crush on Cartman and he wanted to figure out if his assumption was correct or not. But Kyle wasn't going to let Kenny win this. Urgh! But the way Cartman was looking at him...a combination of frustration and...lust? No...no, it couldn't be...

"Da fuck! The jewfag is as fucking red as his ginger head pubes!" Cartman said, shoving the read head away from him in disgust.

"Which type of 'head' are you talking about Cartman?" Kenny jokedm starting to laugh profusely.

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face.

"I'M ASKING BEBE OUT TODAY!" Kyle exploded. He has to save his own ass somehow.

"Woah, dude what the fuck?" Finally Kenny's smirk was gone, replaced by a look of shock.

"Bebe...?" Cartman whispered to himself, completely dumbfounded. "Why the hell are you going to do that?" he inquired in confusion.

God dammit, was it THAT obvious he way gay or something? Kyle would just have to hope he was as skilled of a bullshitter as Cartman was.

"Well one, because I'm not gay. Two, because I like her and she's always asking me out anyways. And three, you have Wendy and Kenny has Tammy. So why shouldn't I be allowed to have a girlfriend?" Kyle snapped back.

Cartman looked astounded at this, turned around, and stayed silent for a while. So Kyle got to bask in the glory of knowing that Cartman was upset he's lost this battle.

He's got me like nobody.

"Then why were you blushing just now?" Kenny asked with an eyebrow raised.

"B-because I was thinking of how I should ask her out..., I've never done this before y'know," Kyle stammered nervously. Yes, fail.

"Wow, well ok..." The hooded boy said, not looking throughly convinced by Kyle's pathetic lies. "Just let me know how she is in bed then," he added as an after thought.

Cartman finally took Kenny's silence as a chance to turn to Kyle with a perplexed expression on his face as if he was actually thinking.

"Why do you want to date Bebe all of a sudden? She asks you out every week and you turn her down every time. You've never liked her, what made you suddenly change your mind?" The brunette asked accusedly.

Kyle sat there in silence for a few moments, pondering on this question. He guessed this was the same case with Cartman as well. Why? Why did Kyle change his mind? He had always hated Cartman...maybe it wasn't real, just like how it was going to be with Bebe. From hate to lust to love? The thought was just crazy to ever consider. But then again...why did Cartman even care so much? There was no way in hell that he liked Kyle back. So Kyle responded with the only response that made sense to him.

"What the fuck does it matter to you fatass?" Kyle retorted back, but with less emotion than usual.

"Whatever..like I even give two shits about your personal life," Cartman responded effortlessly and turned the other way to ignore him.

Kenny's head turned from one to the other, trying to read what was going on in the two enemies heads.

When they reached the school and got off the bus, Kyle automatically spotted Bebe's pack of girlfriends walking through the gates, Wendy included among them. Kyle was beginning to procrastinate now and was hoping he'd be able to sneak past the giggling girls without Kenny and Cartman noticing. But Kenny had a good eye and pointed Kyle to her direction.

"I wanna see if Jew boy here really has the balls to ask her out," Cartman said teasingly, the traces of shock and confusion completely gone from his voice.

"Dude, let's hide...behind that pillar!" Kenny pointed to one of the pillars in front of the building.

"Go on kaaaahl," Cartman shoved Kyle closer to the mass of girls.

"I-I kind of wanted to ask her when she's alone...almost time for class...," Kyle mumbled.

"Shut it and hurry up before the bell rings!" Kenny called back, dragging Cartman by the sleeve behind the pillar.

Kyle gulped nervously. He was REALLY not looking forward to this. Bebe was in fact a slutty gold digger and had pretty much dated or slept with every guy in school. Well, the rich ones that is. Kyle took one last breathe and walking into the circle of fire which consisted of a half dozen gossipping boy crazed girls. Bebe was wearin a cheap plastic version of a black leather skirt and a tight fitting tank top that revealed as much cleavage as possible without having her breasts pop like a balloon. Kyle groaned as he approached her and prodded her on the shoulder.

"Bebe, may I go out with you?" Kyle said more pleadingly than anything. Of course all the girls surrounding her started giggling their asses off. Bebe's expression went from confused to surprised to ecstatic.

"Woah, wait back up there for a sec Kyle, seriously?"

"Yes, I-I like you."

I won't tell you that I love you.

Kiss or hug you cuz I'm bluffin'.

With my muffin I'm not lyin'.

I'm just stunnin' with my love glue gunnin'.

"Oh my god Kyle, why didn't you just say so all the other times? And you don't have to be so formal about it!" Bebe squealed excitedly.

"Haha, ok good, I was getting nervous for a second that you'd be the one to turn me down this time," Kyle laughed while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Oh defininitely not! I've wanted you forever Kyle! Screw the other guys, they're nothing compared to you," Bebe exclaimed giddily.

"Thanks Bebe," Kyle beamed up at her and wrapped his arms around her tenderly. All the girls cheered and Bebe seemed to melt at his touch.

Can't read my, can't read my, no he will NEVER read my poker face.

"Well, I've got to get to class now, bye gorgeous!" Kyle quickly let go of her and speed walked towards the entrance of the school, hearing the cheers and squee's of joy from behind him. Well, now that he got that nauseating business taken care of. It would suck having to get used to calling her mushy names like "baby" and "darling" all the time.

"Ok, you guys can come out now," Kyle called out for his friends. No answer. Kyle peered around the pillar. No one there. It wasn't until Kyle saw droplets of blood on the cement that Kyle was led to a patch of bushes where he found a dead Kenny McCormick with a knife through his neck. Eric Cartman was no where to be found.

He's got me like nobody.

OOOOH THE SUSPENSE! lol, where's Stan when ya need him eh? Don't worry, he won't be an emo wussy for the ENTIRE story :P
And dang...I REALLY like to say FUCK don't I? Anyone care to count how many times i wrote it? I'm curious but I'm too lazy to do it myself xD
REMEMBER TO R & R! MAKE A NEW AUTHOR HAPPY :D