Disclaimer: Ok, if I can't own Castle which I found no loop hole. Then I want to own Lanie. That girl is a hoot.

A/N: This chapter is a much needed conversation that needed or needs to happen between Lanie and Beckett. If they are BFF's on screen, then as BFF's do they gossip and talk about men! Come on Marlowe! Plus, hello Beckett needs some people to reflect off of and heck Castle needs some man bro's to reflect off of because Alexis is leaving for school and his mother is...well I love Martha, but gee whiz he needs more man buddies. So that will be coming up more in chapters to come. I freaking love Lanie and I hope I made her believeable in this. Please rate, rap a note, sing a ditty, whatever it is that you do. Send it my way! Yo, keep smiling!

Beckett is sitting at her desk waiting for the boys to call saying they've got a whereabouts on the boyfriend, Cameron. She is catching up on paperwork and reading some emails. As usual, Castle is sitting in his chair next to her desk. He is being annoying and distracting, but she can't tell him to go away. She can't bring herself to tell him, 'Don't you have something better to do than watch me do paperwork?' Things are very different than when she felt she was stuck with him. Now she can't imagine him not being there with her. Truth be told, Castle can't imagine being anywhere else either.

Beckett's phone rings and she reaches past her coffee cup to answer it.

"Beckett," she answers. The other person on the line is talking to her. "Yes, I'm ready. I'll meet you downstairs." Beckett stands up from her desk and grabs her jacket off the back of her chair.

"Was that Ryan or Esposito with a lead? Or another murder?" Castle asked her while jumping up out of his chair. Almost like a kid in a candy store.

"No, Castle. I'm going to lunch with Lanie. And no you can't come."

"Lanie? Does she eat? Hmm, and why can't I come? Ohhh, girl talk. Got it," said Castle with a smirk on his face.

"Wow, Castle, you are getting better at figuring out women. There's hope for you yet." Beckett said. She always got the last comment of wit out. She's so clever like that.

Castle just smiled standing next to her desk watching her head for the elevator and says, "Have fun. I'll see you later."

She looked back at him and smiled.

(…)

Beckett and Lanie are seated at the Fresh Food Kitchen in the Upper East Side. They've already ordered their lunch.

"So girl, what's up? We never have lunch together. Shoot, I never have time for it," says Lanie.

"Neither do I," laughs Kate. She looks out the window into the street. She knows that it is good for her to talk to someone, but it is still hard to tell Lanie. Even if Lanie is one of her best friends. For so long, she has kept everything to herself. She hasn't been much of a sharer. People do have to pry information from her, but in order for her to move on she needs to really put her trust into people that are close to her. Lanie can tell that she is uneasy.

"Girl, what's going on? Where did you just go right now?" as she looks into Kate's eyes with concern.

"Lanie, what I am about to talk to you about you can NOT tell anyone. You are one of my best friends. Please. You can't tell Esposito either. Ok, promise me," Beckett pleaded with her.

"Okay. You are kind of freaking me out a bit. You can trust me. When have you ever not been able to trust me?" Lanie asked.

"Ok, you're right. Well I'm not sure where to begin. I've been going to a therapist again, " said Beckett. Lanie knew that she went to a therapist when they first met. Lanie always pushed when they instantly became friends. She, like Castle, didn't let Beckett close up like a clam. She would push and push until Kate would cave in.

"Ok, that's understandable considering what you have been through," Lanie replied.

"Well my therapist suggested that for a part of my therapy I need to rebuild my other relationships back to where they used to be, so…," Kate told Lanie, but Lanie cut her off.

"Kate, our friendship hasn't changed a bit. I know you and I know who you are. You don't share much and that's ok. I give you space because I know if you need me or want to talk you will. Also, you know where to find me. I will always be here for you," Lanie said.

"Thanks, Lanie. I am so lucky to have you as a friend and I appreciate you, really. You get me."

Kate paused and then she began, "Well, what I want to tell you is that you aren't the only one that gets me."

"I'm not?" Lanie asked with her eyebrows raised, "Who else gets you?" Lanie sits back in her chair with a question look on her face and this her eyes widen and eyebrows raises and she says, "Oh wait, wait, Kate Beckett, have you finally saw the light, girl?" as she reaches across the table to lightly slap at Kate's arm.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Oh no, no, no, don't play coy with me? It's cute, but stop!" Kate is looking at Lanie like she is completely nuts.

"Umm, Castle? Hello? I swear you think I am blind and dumb, " Lanie said.

"Darn it. Really? How did you know?" Kate asked her.

"Oh, you do NOT get to ask me that question! Really? Now, your insulting my intelligence, " Lanie replied. "You have been dancing around this subject with me for a very long time. And pah-lease…the way you and Castle bounce your theories back and forth, " Lanie says just shaking her head while looking at Kate.

"Lanie, what about you and Esposito? The fighting and bickering? What's up with that?" Beckett figured that now Lanie was trying to mess with her. She figured why not throw it back at her.

"Hey, this isn't a you share, I share moment. So will you please tell me what you are going to tell me?" Lanie asked.

"Ok, well you've got to keep this to yourself, " Beckett started and Lanie jumped in.

"Kathrine Beckett, if you do NOT spill it I will…, " Beckett's turn to interrupt her.

"Ok, Castle told me that he love me?" Kate blurted out.

"He did what?" Lanie asked in shock. Almost like she wasn't sure that she heard her correctly.

"You heard me." she replied.

"When did this happen? You aren't even officially together and you got an 'I love you'." Lanie said.

"He told me right after I got shot. While I was lying there on the ground, he told me twice that he loved me." Kate told her as she was remembering that very moment of that day in her head. The words played back ever so clearly each time she thought about it.

"Wait. Esposito told me that you told Castle that you didn't remember anything from that day?" Lanie asked.

"Castle has been talking to Esposito?" Kate asked.

"Kate, they are friends. They go out for drinks at the Old Haunt. Men are worse than women about gossip. Please. " Lanie told her.

"Well, anyway, I lied. I remember everything from that day. The weather, the speech, the shot and his 'I love you', " Kate shared with Lanie.

"Kate, does Castle know this?" she asked.

"No. He asked me in the hospital when he came to visit me and once after that, but I told him I can't remember a thing. It was all a blur is what I told him, " Kate looked to Lanie with her eyes all watered up. When the words came out that she told Lanie, she thought about how Castle would feel to know the truth after she said all these lies each time she was asked.

Lanie jumped on her, "You keep lying to him?"

"Lanie, I feel bad enough. I didn't call him for 3 months and I'm lucky he is even speaking to me. He was pretty upset. I just couldn't talk to him after he told me that. With everything, I just couldn't handle it all. I needed to get away from it all, " Kate told her with her voice breaking trying to get the words out.

Kate continued, "Lanie, I don't want to lie to him at all. If the words weren't such a strong phrase, I would have told him already. I'm not afraid of telling him the truth, I'm afraid of the conversation after I tell him the truth."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump all over you. The conversation after the truth is just the truth all over again. I don't know why you keep fighting it. He makes you happy and I know you are scared. You do need to face your feelings, Kate. He has already told you his, " Lanie told her placing her right hand over Kate's left hand to console her.

(…)

Lanie and Kate finished their lunch and they shared a cab back to the 12th. Kate was feeling a little better being able to talk to someone. She is really starting to realize that keeping all of this bottled up inside isn't going to help her overcome her issues.

"Lanie, I think that I really need to tell him. How do I approach this with him? I mean, he will be upset that I've been lying to him, " Kate asked.

"Well, you didn't call him for 3 months and he was mad, but he can't stay mad at you for long. You just need to tell him. Put yourself in his shoes. Is it fair to him? He put himself out there and he deserves to know, " Lanie told her.

"Lanie, we work together, " Kate quickly said.

"Can you really call that 'following you around like a puppy' work?" Lanie said trying to get a little smile at least from Kate.

Kate smirked and glared at her, "Lanie, be serious. It would be awkward. Plus Gates already hates him. If she finds out, he'll be gone."

"Gates doesn't really like anyone. It's the job, you know that. Plus after the last couple of cases I think she has noticed how useful Castle is. Don't you think?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah, I have noticed that too, " Kate said.

"Look, take it one day at a time. She doesn't need to know. Hell, no one needs to know, but girl if you don't communicate with him soon he may not wait around for you, " Lanie pleaded.

They rode in the cab back to the precinct and Kate was deep in thought thinking the conversation she had with Lanie. 'He may not wait around for you' rang in her head. Her therapist said something like this to her before, 'Are you afraid that he won't wait for you….or that he will?' Both of these phrases were playing over and over in her head.

The cab pulls up in front of the 12th and both Lanie and Kate get out.

"Lanie, thanks for the talk and lunch, " said Kate.

"No problem, girl. We need to do this more often and if you ever need to talk, don't be a stranger. I just hope I helped a little bit, " Lanie told her.

"You probably helped more than you know." Kate's phone started ringing. She looked at the caller ID, " It's Esposito. I better take it. Thanks, Lanie," she nodded.

Lanie walked off and into the precinct.

"Beckett." Kate asked answer the phone.

"Yo, Beckett, what's your 20? We went to the club to talk to some of the workers and the owner. They haven't seen Cameron for the last two nights. He was supposed to work last night and he was a no show."

"Ok, so could you find out anything other information on his whereabouts? Anything come up from the APB?" Kate asked.

"Actually that's why I wanted to know your 20. Can you meet us? We got information from a friend at the club that he might be doing some dealing in Washington Heights. Castle is with us. We have a warrant to search the building. We'll wait for you." Esposito told her.

"Ok. Text me the address. I'm at the precinct. I'm on my way." Kate replied and hung up the phone.