The Antics of the Avengers
Yeah... Don't own. well, except for Agent Rene Jadeson. He's serving as the Leia Fury for this fic of mine.
Notes: We can admit that Phil is a pretty calm guy. Adorkable, too. But he can be pretty scary at times. Hell, Loki looked a little frighten at the gun being pointed at him by Phil! And I love Maria. She's beautiful and hardcore. I can see why she's Fury's right hand girl. I wrote this chapter in favor of my favorite agents.
Warnings: Nothing too big for this chapter really. Just cussing and some minor violence. Also a minor spoiler for Captain America 2: Winter Soldier for those who haven't seen it. It's pretty small.
Chapter 4 - The Usual Morning
Wide hazel eyes stared at the item in his hands. It was a mug. A red, white, and blue mug with the intials "P.C." on it. The young agent could only look at it. He seen many strange mugs. Hell, there's one inside the cupboard that was shaped like a dog's skull. However, this mug he held was... kind of cute. He was curious as to who it belonged to.
It was obvious that it belonged to a Cap fan, hence the colors and the words "SERVING AMERICA!" on the side of it. But there was so many Captain America fans here at the HQ. So who was it?
"Ah. I see you found his coffee mug."
The brunet turned around and found his handler, Maria Hill walking up to him. She had the usual cool and collected exposure with a small grin on her face. Dressed in her usual black catsuit with her dark chocolate colored hair in a bun. "I bet you're wondering whose is it, aren't you, Jadeson?" The younger nodded. He placed the mug back into the cupboard before grabbing a vacant black one. "Sorry. I was a bit curious. It's the first time I seen the mug here."
"Coulson must have left it here. It belongs to him."
Jadeson blinked. He looked back at the tri-colored cup and back at Hill. "Coulson? As in Agent Phil Coulson?"
"Yup. That's him."
"I didn't know he was a Captain America fan.", Jadeson answered honestly with a light blush. Maria patted his shoulder. "He doesn't make it that obvious. Also, you only been here for two days so far. It's not a requirement for you to know that." She looked over to where the coffee machine was and frowned. "Oh dear."
Jadeson followed her gaze and noticed that the coffee machine container was half way filled with coffee, but there was empty filters and coffee boxes scattered on the countertop. Maria sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead with her fingers. "Some of these people have no concern for decency."
"I didn't even notice, Agent Hill. Honestly, I came here for orange juice. I don't have a big taste for coffee. Although I love frappes."
"Well, that's one less person we have to worry about for coffee. When there's no coffee, that equals a war. A much bigger war than Ultron's robot army and Loki's Chituari combined."
Hazel eyes widened. "That bad?"
"Oh yeah."
"Oh dear."
Jadeson knew that it meant for a much needed coffee run.
The day started out pretty good for Phil. He woke up on the right side of the bed this morning, with a nice hot shower, and a shirt that didn't need to be iron.
So no doubt in his mind that today was going to be an awesome day.
He had prepared himself a bagel breakfast and found that there was no coffee left to go with it, though. But he shrugged it off. He figured he could get some when he got to Headquarters. He probably wouldn't have time to head to a coffee shop. No need to fret though.
The agent quickly made sure he was ready for another day of work. He had a feeling Nick had some paperwork that needed to be done due to recent disasters. Those involved being the Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man. But hell. Not even those three can get him out his happy mood!
Phil drove to work happy, humming to a very mellow song that played on the radio. It was a bright sunny day in the north side of New York. A clear sky, fresh air (with a hint of pizza), and singing animals. Okay, no singing animals, but it was still a cheerful day. Phil had soon arrived to the HQ. Outside, troops were doing their daily jog with Steve. Some were at the shooting range with Natasha, Bucky and Clint. Sam was probably flying nearby with Vision and Rhodey for another scoop of the scene. The Twins were doing who knows what and the Science Bros (Bruce and Tony) were more likely in the lab.
Nothing too unusual.
The agent headed inside, greeting others on his way to meet Fury about anything. He found the eye patch wearing man with Maria in the meeting room. Nick was reading some contents within a manila folder. Maria looked uneasy, pressing her fist to her mouth in thought while staring at the glass window.
Phil became concerned, but wasn't going to make any quick assumptions. "Morning, boss.", he greeted, catching the duo's attention. Fury nodded back. "Morning, Coulson. I have something for you to review for me."
"I'll get to it. I just need to get some coffee from the kitchen."
"NO!"
Maria sped over to the entrance of the room and blocked the other's way from exiting. Nick was even a bit taken back. Phil blinked in surprise, seeing the panic across Hill's face.
"Hill? Is something the matter?"
"Uh... no. Just... I haven't gotten a hug from you, yet!", she answered. She wrapped her arms around him, patting his back. "You're a good friend, Phil. Very good friend."
"Um..." Phil was blushing brightly from his ears to his neck. He really wasn't the one for physical affections. "Thanks..."
He removed the younger off of him and continued his way to the kitchen.
Maria sighed, looking back at Fury who was trying to decipher her earlier actions. "Hill? What the hell was that?"
The brunette collasped into a nearby chair.
"The effort to prevent hundreds of people dying today, sir."
The young agent tapped lightly on his chin, pondering on which coffee mix to choose from. After leaving the HQ, Rene had found himself in the aisle of a supermarket. He counted it as his first mission from how his handler frantically described the disasters that will come if there was no coffee. He worried him to higher levels. The last thing SHIELD needed was an all out war for coffee.
"I'm glad I'm not addicted to that stuff.", he muttered to himself. He picked up both the red and blue containers and placed them in the basket. After that, he headed to the pastry area for doughtnuts. He figured since he was already here for coffee, why not pick up some doughtnuts?
On his way, he had heard a bellowing voice with an added calmer one in one of the other aisles. The breakfast aisle in fact. He peeked in down the aisle and found two rather tall males.
One of them was blonde, dressed in a red muscle tee, jeans, and his hair tied back, some of the strands falling gracefully on his handsome face. The other was just as equally handsome, dressed in a dark green dress shirt, black pants and his dark ebony hair brushed back. Just the sight of them almost made Rene feel a bit shorter and submissive.
While they towered over six feet, Rene was just 5'5''. The blonde was quite a god with muscles that rivaled Hercules. The other was much slender, like Rene, but unlike him, Rene was more curvy with some bit of muscle.
Truth be told, they both reeked of superiority.
"I can't quite understand your obsession with this food.", the ebony haired one sighed, rubbing his forehead. The blonde patted him on the back. "Aye, brother! It is a fine food! You should partake in a feast with one of them."
"I have no desire to eat this tart of pop. Why did I bring myself here with you anyways?"
"Entertainment?"
"Ah."
The two stood there in silence for a bit, just staring at the many blue boxes of the different flavored poptarts. When it hit the two minute mark, the blonde spoke up again. "I am at fault of which to purchase."
"Well, I don't know which one you should."
"Maybe I could help?", Rene offered as he approached the two. The two looked down at him. The blonde nodded quickly. "I thank thee for your assistance. May I ask the name of you?"
"It's Rene. Rene Jadeson.", the younger replied. He looked at the poptarts for a brief moment. He realized how weird this situation was. He was helping some stranger choose a box of poptarts. First, the coffee. Now this.
Is being a SHIELD recruit this... unusual?
"How about... this flavor? S'mores are personally a favorite of mine.", Jadeson said, picking up the box and handing it over. The blonde looked at it and smiled. "I do believe I heard Lady Wanda mentioning the deliciousness of this so-more."
"S'more."
"S'more.", the taller repeated. The slightly shorter male, grabbed his wrist. "Now that you got your... treat, can we take our leave now, Thor?"
Rene did a retake. He looked between the two before asking, "Wait... Thor? You're Thor?"
"The Mighty Thor! Son of Odin! And wielder of Mjlonir! 'Tis is my brother, Loki!", Thor bellowed, hugging Loki with one arm. The other immediately begin to struggle. "I reckon you heard of us?"
"Well, before I have been recruited for SHIELD, yes I have."
"SHIELD? Ah, I see Fury has included a new member to the boy band.", Loki teased. "I do say though, you seem quite an intelligent mortal. To gain knowledge of us."
Rene shrugged. "I also had a taste for mythology. But since the attack of New York, I realize you guys weren't a myth to begin with." He then turned on his heel to walk off. "I better get back though. If I don't make in time with this coffee, from what Agent Hill told me, a couple of people might end up in the clinic today."
The two gods watched as the younger male disappear out the aisle. Loki smirked, crossing his arm. "Quite the fellow, isn't it?"
"I agree, Loki! He has an exquisite taste!"
Loki turned to find Thor eating the unpaid box of s'more poptarts.
"NO! THOSE HAVE TO BE PAID FOR!"
"Maria Hill, I don't think this is necessary. The kitchen is that way."
"Yeah, but I think we should see what... um... Rogers is up to! You know you would like to speak to the great Captain America, right?"
"That would be great if I didn't have an urgent matter to attend to. Which I have to deal with over some coffee."
Phil moved out of Maria's grip and turned to the right direction of the kitchen. Maria had let out a nervous squeal before grabbing the older and hiking him over her shoulder. Which was oddly weird because Maria shouldn't be able to carry Phil like that. Then again, she did managed to carry Fury out the hospital after he was shot by Bucky.
That wasn't too difficult.
"HEY! HILL! PUT ME DOWN, DAMN IT!"
"Cap would be highly disappointed in your language, Coulson.", Maria voiced, trying to distract Phil onto another topic. That didn't seem to work though.
"LADY, I JUST WANT SOME COFFEE! I WOKE UP IN A GOOD MOOD, BUT YOU'RE RUINING IT!"
Maria yelped when Phil managed to escape her carrying hold and ran down the hall. She gave chase, catching onto his heels. "No! Phil, don't go into the kitchen!"
On the other side of the HQ, a small slender figure traveled through the halls with speed in his steps. In his hands, he carried a bag of coffee and two boxes of doughtnuts. Some of the agents had smelled the fresh baked doughtnuts and began to follow the younger agent to the kitchen.
Rene had noticed and sighed, resisting the urge to throw the doughtnuts and coffee.
"This has to be the weirdest morning for me by bars none.", he muttered to himself as he entered the kitchen. He turned in time to see some of the agents fall in. Phil and Maria also came in, the latter trying to pull the older back out by his jacket. "Please, Coulson! You're not going to-"
"Agent Hill, I brought doughtnuts.", Jadeson announced. Maria had let go of Phil when she noticed the coffee sitting by the brewing machine and agents munching on doughtnuts. The doughtnuts were also varied in icing and flavor. "Um... wow."
Phil looked over to Maria, an eyebrow raised in question. "So? What was that all about?"
Maria scratched the back of her head and gave an added nervous chuckle. "Nothing. Just... uh..."
"I decided to surprise you with some doughtnuts, Agent Coulson. Agent Hill was trying to distract you.", Jadeson chimed in, covering for his boss. Coulson looked between the two and shrugged. "Hm. Thank you, agent. May I ask who you are?", he asked just as Steve, Natasha, Clint, Bucky, Tony and Bruce came in.
"Jadeson. Rene Jadeson. This is my third day working here at SHIELD. Agent Hill's been assigned as my handler."
"Wait! Your first name is Rene?", Clint asked in mid bite of a doughtnut. Said male nodded with a small blush. "Yeah. My mom thought it was beautiful and my dad wanted a 'R' name. I know it's a bit girly."
"I agree with your mother. It is a beautiful name.", Steve smiled, catching a water bottle Natasha tossed at him. Tony then decided to speak. "Wait. What's your middle name?"
"Daniel. It's Daniel."
Tony and Clint exchanged glances. "No flipping way! Your intials are RDJ!"
"I get that."
"I don't.", Bucky voiced. "What's with his intials are RDJ?"
"There's an actor named Robert Downey Jr. whose intials are also RDJ. Tony swears he looks just like him.", Natasha said. "I do! And he's a great actor!", Tony added.
"Anyways, what made you want to join SHIELD?", Bruce asked the newly recruited agent. Jadeson sat down next to Maria who was watching Phil drink his coffee happily from his Cap mug. "Well, about five months ago, after I graduated college, I had been traveling in Belguim with my mother. We both got caught in a crossfire with a group of HYDRA troops who captured us along with some others."
"I remember that.", an agent piped up. "It was crazy."
"Yes, it was. They had locked us up in some weapon room with rope around our wrists. Unfortunately for them, my father had taught me a thing or two about escaping and some things on weapons. So I broke free of my bonds and helped the others. I managed to take down the guys that watched us and some more when we got out the room. There was only about seven of us that were held hostage so it was easier than expected."
"Okay. Now I remember. You guys were waiting just outside the place when SHIELD arrived. And thanks to you, no life was taken from innocent people.", Natasha added. "My question is though, how come you just started working for SHIELD?"
"Jadeson had disappeared after that. With everything going on, it took a while to actually find him.", Maria answered.
"Hm. Well, now that you are here, be warned. You're going to witness the strangest things here. Especially since you are Maria's trainee. You're going to see a lot of the Avengers.", Phil said. "Those two are primarily the causes.", he taunted, pointing to Clint and Tony.
"Hey!"
Rene just waved the older agent off. "Nothing I can't handle. Besides, I already met two Norse gods earlier."
"You met Thor and Loki? Personally?", a female agent asked. Rene nodded. "Yup. Thor was buying poptarts."
"That guy and his poptarts.", Steve muttered, walking out the room. He passed two agents that swooned after him and fainted. Bucky laughed at Steve's cluelessness to it. "Only the great Captain America wouldn't notice the lust people have for him."
Rene's hazel eyes widened. "Wow. I didn't notice. Now I know why Agent Coulson is a fan of his."
"It's not because of that!"
"Right. Sure it isn't.", Tony sassed. "All of us can admit that we dreamt or thought about taking Golden Boy's virginity at least once."
"Even you, Stark?"
"Probably more than once. Hey, opposites attract."
It then proclaimed that every morning at the SHIELD Headquarters was never going to be a normal one.
Well, chapter four is done! I had thrown in the RDJ thing. It was kind of last minute. So, should Rene be a reoccurring character? Just give me some input.
Also, I want to thank those for reviewing, making this fic a favorite, and following it. I totally appreciate it.
Review!