Author's note: If any of you were wondering, sadly I don't own Once Upon a Time... nor Robert Carlyle or Emilie de Ravin, which is really a shame...

CHAPTER 4

When Belle came back from the stables, Rumple wasn't in the main hall anymore. She thought he was upstairs, changing his pajamas, so she went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. She decided to make something quick and warm so she opted for a vegetable soup. Once the meal was ready, she brought it to Rumple. The door of his room was closed.

"Can I come in?" - she asked standing in front of the door, since her hands were busy carrying the tray with food and she couldn't knock.

He opened the door for her, to let her in.

"You look much better now." - she said, regarding him while placing the tray on his nightstand.

"What's that?" - he asked in a disgusted tone, glancing at the bowl of soup.

"It's a vegetable soup. It's good for your health and it's warm. I thought..." - he interruped her.

"I don't want that, I don't want anything from you anymore!" - he growled turning away.

She frowned, looking down for a brief moment, then she moved to stand in front of him.

"I've already told you that you're not gonna get rid of me. Now, eat your supper and don't be childish!" - she wasn't shouting, but her tone was a little louder than usual.

He closed his eyes, lifted his chin up and crossed his arms. She clenched her jaw and snorted at his behavior, but she knew he wasn't going to say anything.

"Goodnight Rumplestiltskin." - she left him alone.

When she was gone, he released a deep breath. He needed her out of his life before it was too late. His feelings for her were growing stronger day after day and they were getting more diffucult to ignore, not to mention to ignore her when she was so close to him. He could smell her scent while she was standing there in front of him and it was intoxicating. He wished he could nuzzle her hair and breath her in for the rest of his life. Except he couldn't indulge in any of it.

Belle lost her appetite after that little argument. She couldn't understand why he was being so stubborn and unpleasant. She went into her dungeon and collected her belongings to bring them upstairs, in a more comfortable room. She was free, he said, so she was going to use her freedom as much as she liked. She settled in a room, not so far from Rumple's. There were a double bed, with clean white sheets and a soft and warm red comforter, a nice dresser, two nightstands but no mirrors. Of course.

She placed her stuff in the room and then changed into a white, short, silk nightgown. Another gift that Rumple gave to her a few days after their deal and she remembered how he had dismissed the gesture with a simple statement.

"Well, you can't really sleep naked or with that puffy, golden dress forever, dearie."

That happened the day after he spared Robin Hood's life. Tears were forming in Belle's eyes at the memory. Now she realized that she was already in love with him back then. But he was so determined to reject her at all costs. She knew deep in her heart that he was lying to her and to himself, she knew that he felt the same thing for her, but he was a coward. That much was clear.

She couldn't stop the tears from running free down her face while she curled up in the new, much more comfortable, bed. If only she could fix whatever was troubling him, she was sure he would finally accept his feelings for her.

In the meanwhile Rumplestiltskin decided that he was feeling good enough to go back to the tower, he had slept for pretty much one day and a half, he didn't need more rest.

He picked up an ornate candle holder and snapped his fingers to lit the candle by magic, but of course it didn't work. He released a frustrated snort and looked for a match to lit that stupid wick before stepping out his bedchamber. As he closed the door, he noticed that a feeble light was coming out through the crack under the door of another room along the corridor.

"Belle... she can't really stay put, can she?" - he thought before heading to the tower.

The door was open and he could spot the mess inside the room from the last step of the stair. He had not left the room like that, he was sure, he remembered the hours before the fever very clearly. That must have been Belle. That intrusive little girl.

He entered the room to examine what she had done. Piles and piles of spell books were covering the floor near a bookshelf, which was almost empty now. What she thought she could do with those books? Cast a spell on him? Why did she pry so much into his private lab, his magic book collection and above all, his life?

She didn't have the right to do that. He couldn't take anymore risks. That was enough. She had to leave. Right then. He stormed out the lab, heading downstairs.

When he arrived in front of what he supposed was her new room, he didn't even bother to knock at the door, he simply pushed it open, making the wood bang on the stone wall.

"Belle!" - he yelled making her jerk and sit up on the bed. The sheet now covering just her bare legs.

"How... ? What... ?" - she couldn't formulate a proper question, too startled by his sudden intrusion.

"You have ten minutes to gather your things and leave. I don't want to see you anymore. Don't make me tell this once again or..."

"Or what? You don't have powers anymore and you gave me back my freedom."

He didn't know how to reply.

"But ok, if my presence here makes you so upset I'll leave." - she continued.

"Good." - he seemed a bit ashamed of himself.

"I have just one request: since it seems that I have a long journey ahead, can I take Philippe with me? You'll still have enough horses for your carriage after all."

"Well, it's just a horse and like I said, I don't like it, so take it away from here. One mouth less to feed." - he has lost his impish tone along with the Dark Curse, but he sounded a lot like the Dark One in that moment.

"Thank you." - she kept staring at him, like she wanted to engrave his features in her mind to remember him better.

"This is a goodbye then..." - she trailed off the last word.

It was more a statement than a real question.

"Yes, it is." - he hissed.

When a long silence fell into the room, he turned around and walked out the door.

She got out of the bed and rushed past him, standing just a mere inch away from his face. Her deep blue eyes burning with fierceness, but despite that she looked so fragile in that moment.

"I'm not sorry for whatever I did to you, I know deep down in my heart that there's nothing to be sorry for. But that doesn't change that you're too cowardly to be honest with me and tell me what's wrong instead of pushing me away. You don't need magic Rumple, you need courage, to let me in."

She hold her gaze on him a few seconds more before going back into the room, shutting the door behind her.

Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. It was done. No regrets. No turning back. She will be gone, forever, she wasn't coming back. Not ever again.

A sense of emptiness suddenly wrapped around his heart, almost painful, but he immediately dismissed it.

"She will be fine..." - he thought and got back to his lab in the tower.

Belle leaned her back against the door, trying to steady herself, not letting the sudden despair overwhelm her. She couldn't break down, not yet. She needed to resist in order to gather her things and leave the castle.

She changed her clothes and put a few comfortable ones in a backpack, along with her necklace and a couple of books she really wanted to bring with her. The golden ball gown was left hanging in the wardrobe and the blue maid dress was resting on an armchair. She couldn't help the tears that escaped from her eyes while she was standing by the door, taking a last glance around that room. Her room. She hadn't even spent a night in there, but with all her things placed here and there, it was hard to see it in another way.

She closed the door and she headed out to the stables to get Philippe and leave the place, forever.

"Hey Philippe. What about a ride?" - she said to the horse who greeted her as usual.

She put the saddle and bridles on him and mounted on. She was wearing a leather outfit, complete with leather gloves and boots and a green cloak. The nights up there were chilly. The moon was almost full and there were no clouds to block its light, it was a starry, bright night.

Rumplestiltskin was observing her from the tower window taking a last glance on her perfect figure, even more beautiful now that she was riding a horse with her hair down, in a chestnut cascade of curls. He was going to miss her so badly.

When she was out of sight, he sighed and resumed his desperate attempt to get his powers back. Reading spell books and brewing potions. He was even trying to light a candle with magic again, but with to no avail. But he was determined to try anything that could bring him the hope to find a way back to his Baelfire.

The path into the forest was dark and scary, but Belle and Philippe had each other to rely on and, besides, the first small village on that route wasn't so far away. They would make it there before sunrise.

When they arrived at the village there was nobody around, only a light inside the tavern was shining in the darkness. She hitched Philippe to a post and dismounted to get into the tavern.

"Hello? Is anybody here?" - she asked when she stepped inside.

The innkeeper came out from a back room.

"Hello there! How may I help you?" - the man asked politely.

"I need a room and a box for my horse." - she answered.

"Sure! Do you have the money?" - he inquired.

Money... Right! How could she have been so damn stupid to forget to get some money for her trip?

"I... I... I'm afraid, I don't." - she looked mortified.

"Well, then... you can go somewhere else." - the innkeeper nonchalantly started to clean the counter.

"I will come back and pay you. I'm the daughter of the duke of a town in Avonlea." - she hoped he would recognize the name of the kingdom she came from.

"Avonlea? Is that a realm?" - he asked, not really interested.

How far was she from there? Going back to her town and her people seemed terribly difficult in that moment.

"Yes, it is, but I'm guessing you don't know it. Nevermind then, thanks anyway." - she smiled politely and turned to exit the place.

"Wait. I might give you what you requested as long as you help me here for a while. Let's say a week." - the innkeeper offered.

"Deal!" - her smile was more genuine this time, but the word that had just escaped from her mouth made her think about him and she twitched her lips.

"Good. Here's the key to the stable, you can put your horse in the first box on the right and then come back here. I'll give you a room to rest." - she took the key from his hand and went out.

She was stuck there for a week, but at least she had food and a place for her and Philippe to sleep and be safe and more importantly something to do and keep her mind busy and not to think about him.

Four days passed at the tavern and Fabrice the innkeeper was glad that he made that deal with Belle. She was a nice girl, always cheerful and a hard worker, she didn't really seem a duke's daughter. It happened one night that a bunch of guys got drunk and she handled their obviously unwelcome sexual advances with elegance. She managed to keep the rude customers entertained enough to stay there, keep drinking and spill a large amount of money from their pockets without giving them enough space to get her in any way at the same time. Fabrice observed her very closely from behind the counter and he was really enjoying having Belle working at the tavern. She didn't complain for one second about those drunk guys or the mess they had to clean every night at late hours.

"Belle?" - he called her.

She was wiping a table and she raised her gaze to pay attention to him.

"Come here please, I want to talk to you." - he motioned her to come to him with his index finger.

"Did I do something wrong?" - she asked, a bit worried when she got there.

"No, no, you didn't. On the contrary, you're doing great. So great that I'm thinking about hiring you. You'll have food and a bed, both for you and your horse, some money per week and of course you'll continue to keep the tips." - he smiled warmly.

"Oh... wow! I don't know what to say... Actually I..."

In that moment, a group of five men entered the place, jerking the door open.

"We need volounteers to join us and kill the big bad wolf that is wandering around these woods. We need to slay it before it kills us all. Some sheep have been found mutilated in the past few days and there were giant wolf prints around the bodies. So, who's coming with us?" - one of the men yelled.

A chilly silence fell into the room. Belle was looking at them, like everyone else, some were gaping while staring at the men. Then she turned her head to look at Fabrice. A strange sparkle in her eyes.

"Seriously? You want to go?" - Fabrice whispered to her, understanding what was inside her mind.

"Well, I was just about to tell you that I'm actually looking for some adventures while I go back home. I've always wanted to explore the world and be part of those heroics I read about in my books. Here's my chance I guess." - she smiled coyly, like it wasn't really what a girl was supposed to say and desire, not in that world at least.

"I don't understand, but if that's what you want, you're free to go, even if our deal contemplated a whole week to be fulfilled." - he reminded her about it, hoping that she would stay a few days more and forget about that big bad wolf nonsense.

"I know, that's why I'm giving you all the money I got from tips to you. Is that enough to cover for those last three days?"

"It's more than enough. Keep at least half of it."

She was about to protest but he stopped her.

"Please." - he insisted.

"Thank you. You're a good man Fabrice." - she covered one of his hands with hers on the counter and smiled at him.

He blushed furiously. He may have developed a little crush for that beautiful girl, with those gorgeous eyes and that sexy accent during those four days. Well, nobody could have really blamed him.

"Now go, or you'll miss your chance." - he removed his hand from under hers and averted his eyes, taking a cloth to wipe the counter.

"Thanks again, for everything." - she said to him and then rushed upstairs to change and collect her few belongings, now including a new small dagger she bought in the village for self-defense because you'll never know who you're going to encounter on such a long journey.

The five men had already left by the time she was out of the tavern, but her plan wasn't to go with them. She went to the stable and got Philippe ready, then she left the small village on her own, her heart thumping with excitement.

He was frustrated by the fact that he couldn't find a single information about how to get the Dark Curse back once it had been removed by a true love's kiss. He knew about what would happen if someone killed him with the dagger or what would happen if he commited suicide with it, but nothing about what would happen if a beautiful, sweet girl kissed the Dark One and broke the curse with her true love. He knew that she was his true love, but she wasn't his happy ending, that was Bae and he wanted his happy ending to become real. He knew that he would never find true love again, but honestly he loathed himself so much that he thought he didn't deserve to have it, to have Belle. She was too good for him, even for his human form. He was an old, crippled and not so handsome man who has been consumed by dark magic for centuries, he was addicted to that power so much that he couldn't live without it. So he was going to live without her. It was better this way, she didn't deserve a future of lies, manipulations and tricks played by him. He wasn't going to change, he wasn't able to change and even if he would want to, he didn't know how.

That's why he was still there, in his lab, books open before him, a vial in one hand and ingredients all over the table, trying to get back the only thing that made him feel whole, powerful and in control: magic. And since magic always comes with a price, he guessed he had to pay it by sacrificing his chance at true love with Belle.

Exhausted he decided to take a break. He went to the main hall and sat down in front of his spinning wheel. It has always helped him to clarify his mind, forget bad things and make him calm. But the quiet was soon broken when the doors opened.

"Hello Rumple!" - Regina was there again.

He didn't answer, nor looked at her.

"You don't even say hello to your old friend?" - she mocked him.

He kept spinning, pretending that she wasn't there.

"Oh, come on! I know you hear me. I'm here because I wanted you to know that I have nothing to do with that tragedy." - she was going to have some fun with this story she was going to tell him.

She knew that Belle was adventuring in the woods, looking for the big bad wolf, her spies and henchmen were everywhere around the realms, constantly reporting the whereabouts of the people she was interested in. She alse knew that the little girl couldn't stand a chance against that wild beast, she would die, pretty soon and pretty badly. Her blue eyes wouldn't work on that monster this time, but she had to admit to herself that she had done a very good job with the other monster that was before her eyes right now.

He stopped spinning and looked at her.

"What tragedy?" - he hissed.

"Oh, you don't know? Your little girl tried to get back home after you threw her out of here, but after her stay here, her association with you, no one would want her, not even her father. He shunned her, cut her off, shut her out. She drowned in a river a couple of days ago. I thought you wanted to know." - an evil smile painted on her face.

"I don't believe you." - he growled in a very low tone.

"Why would I lie to you? There's no reason for me to do that." - she shrugged.

"There's always a reason with you." - he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, since you're not believing me I think I will leave. You aren't worth my time anymore." - she turned around to exit the castle, grabbing her long black skirt with a hand, making it swirl in the air.

"That remains to be seen dearie." - that statement escaped his lips with a hint of his old impish voice.

She immediately stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" - she asked, knitting her brows.

"Oh nothing, her Majesty, nothing..." - he said with a threatening grin on his mouth.

Regina released a nervous snort before proceeding to get out. She knew it was pointless to ask again, but his little comment and that evil grin on his face affected her in a very bad way. She could have killed him on the spot, but she didn't want to, she wanted to see him suffer for a while first, that's why she was there. But now, she was determined to discover what he was talking about, what he was plotting behind her back.

Once the Evil Queen was out of his estate, Rumple, collapsed on his knees, cursing when his lame leg sent a jolt of pain right to his spine. Assuming that what Regina said was the truth and since he didn't have a way to find out, he cried the most painful and bitter tears of his life thinking about Belle. She was dead. He didn't even said goodbye to her. It was all his fault. The worst curse of his life wasn't the Dark Curse, but the fact that he has always managed to push away all the people he loved and the ones who loved him back somehow. First Milah, he really loved her even if she didn't love him back, then Baelfire and now Belle, the most beautiful and kind person he has ever met.

After a while he stood up and walked over to the cupboard to take the chipped cup. Once it was in his hand he stared at it, recalling the sweet memory that the little keepsake carried within itself. The way she looked worried and embarrassed when she dropped it, startled by his stupid evil quip, was carved in his mind and that was the first moment he felt really captured by her beauty, inside and out.

The tears continued to stream down his face while he limped toward a pedestal where a goblet was standing in full display. He replaced the goblet with the chipped cup, sobbing more violently as he did so. She was right after all, all he had now was an empty heart and a chipped cup.

Author's note: Please, don't hate me... You know Rumple is a difficult man and I wanted Belle to live an adventure. But I promise, they will be together.