The bright light is still blinding me, and Kate's voice is still echoing around me.
"Daniel?"
"Daniel?"
"Can you hear me?"
I blink furiously and squint, and slowly but surely my eyes adjust to the fluorescence. I am leaning back, and staring at the ceiling, which houses a collection of built in light fixtures. I blink a few more times, and try to sit up, but am stopped by sudden and extreme pain near my heart.
I hear myself let out a yell without choosing to do so, and fall back, but luckily something soft is there to catch me. I feel someone lay their hands gently on my shoulders, and the dreadful light is finally blocked by a familiar face that moves into my vision.
"Kate?" My throat is scratchy and my voice is hoarse. She is smiling slightly, but I can see the beginnings of tears in her eyes.
"Oh thank god." She whispers and places a kiss on my forehead. I purposefully keep my face impassive; for all I know this is another trick from my brain.
"What's wrong?" I say, preoccupied with the tears on her face. My voice has regained some power.
"You were shot Daniel. You gave me one hell of a scare."
My memory is beginning to come back, and suddenly the pain in my heart makes sense.
"Sorry for that." I say with a hint of surprise.
"If anyone should be apologizing it's me." She replies to my surprise.
"What do you mean?"
"I should have- I shouldn't have- It was too dangerous. It was my call and-"
"Kate it was not a dangerous situation. We were aiming to find the son so he could lead us to his brother."
I know my tone sounds dismissive; almost condescending; but I don't want her to believe this is her fault.
"But I-"
"But nothing. This was a chance encounter that nobody could have stopped. If anything, I provoked him, asking him all those questions about his brother. I stepped outside my circle of responsibility."
I see her laugh a little at this.
"Now can we drop it please?" I attempt to change the subject. "Why do my joints feel like the tin man's?"
She smiles compassionately, which has always been unique to her. Kate has one of the most expressive faces I've ever encountered, so why do I find it so difficult to read her?
"You've been in a coma for five days now. They kept telling me you should be fine, but I was still worried. Your eyes started to flutter a few hours ago though, and you started to mutter something about stalemate."
I nod and say,
"It must be broken."
"What?"
"Nothing." So the frozen moment had really been five days, and that last decision several hours. Yet none of this knowledge gives me the courage to break the real stalemate. I look up at Kate, who is once more looking concerned. Suddenly, the words I've been longing to say for so long are on my lips. The motions I've wanted to make are on my fingertips, and I can feel my eyes burning with all the emotion I feel for her. I purposefully break the eye contact before I do something stupid. Still looking at my lap I attempt again to create a subject of conversation.
"I've been out for five days? Have you been here the whole time?"
"No no I went home."
Kate is a terrible liar.
"No you didn't."
"Ok fine I slept in the chair."
I sigh at her devotion. It is exactly what I can't accept.
"Kate you need some real sleep. Go home! Get some rest! I'm awake, I'm alive, I'm fine. You on the other hand are giving the impression of death warmed over."
"Ok ok I will. But I'll be back tomorrow morning."
"I'll look foreword to it." I say and shoot her a smile. She grabs my hand and squeezes it and I can hear my heart beat increase speed on a monitor somewhere. She pretends not to notice and slowly lets go, then leaves the room with one last glance in my direction.
"WAIT!" I find myself calling her back without really meaning to.
"Yeah?" her head pops back around the door of the room.
I stutter and flounder, why did I do this?
"Did you ever solve the case?"
She smiles broadly, my favorite kind, and nods.
"It was the brother. They had each other's backs. Mark, the man who shot you, ended up caught in the middle. His brother killed his mother, and he loved both of them dearly. He didn't know who he should side with, so he went with the living member of the family. When you started asking questions, he panicked, because he wasn't sure of his choice. God it was a mess of a family though. Love is such a strange thing."
"Yeah. I suppose it is." I reply.
"Anyways. Night!"
"Night Kate."
She disappears once more.
I suddenly become very preoccupied with my fingers.
"You didn't think it'd be that easy did you?"
Natalie's eyes meet mine as I raise my head once more.
"You didn't leave your subconscious behind with that coma Daniel. And you didn't leave your feelings for Kate in your dreams either. Haven't you learned anything?"