"It is all very odd. I am at a loss as to what is going on and I have no idea what to do."
Legolas could hear Aragorn's voice as he entered the room.
"Has there been any change?" That was Aragorn quizzing Elrohir. Now was Elrohir's chance to magnificently divert them all and save him, Legolas thought. Now he could show what he was made of.
"No!" Elrohir's voice was a mangled squeak of nervousness. "No he has not moved. He has not sat up or done anything like that Estel. He definitely did not speak to me."
There was a lenghty silence as Aragorn obviously tried to understand this brother of his who spouted such nonsense. Seriously it was as if Elrohir wanted him to be found out.
"Why would he speak to you?" He said at last, "and why is your chair overturned? What have you been doing?"
"I thought there was an intruder."
Inside himself Legolas sighed deeply. Could Elrohir possibly do any more badly at this?
"An intruder? So you threw your chair at him? What intruder?"
Yes, Legolas thought, What intruder Elrohir? What intruder walked in here, in the middle of Imladris, right past the guards, and Glorfindel, and all the other overly important Noldor, right into my room? An intruder SO scary you threw a chair at him?
Honestly sometimes Elrohir had no brains...a lot of the time Elrohir had no brains.
"...never mind." Aragorn had obviously decided to disregard Elrohir's babbling entirely, which was a relief. The less he said the better. Legolas belatedly realised he could expect no help from that direction.
"He said he had allergies Father, before he collapsed. Have you heard anything like it?"
"Elves do not have allergies." That was Elrond. His voice low and serious. "Have you ever seen an elf with hayfever Estel? It is unheard of. It would ruin our immaculate demeanour."
"Perhaps just the woodelves?" Aragorn asked hopefully.
"Not even the woodelves."
"Then why would Legolas believe it to be true?"
"Who knows what goes on in his strange and chaotic mind. The boy can be quite odd at times. Have you not noticed?"
Well that was hurtful, Legolas thought to himself. Quite odd? He had never been odd at all, especially in front of Elrond. Why would the ruler of Imladris make up such lies about him? He waited for Aragorn to leap to his defence.
"Well...eccentric, perhaps, might be a better description don't you think Father? Or just...flighty?"
Legolas was aghast! Aragorn was supposed to be his closest friend and yet he thought him...eccentric?! And flighty was even worse!
Thank goodness Elrohir was there to protect his honor.
"Um...Estel..." He could hear Elrohir shuffle nervously on his feet, "Estel...that's not very nice to say in front of Legolas don't you think...I am sure you don't mean it."
"He cannot hear us Elrohir. Come on, you must admit you have said it yourself many a time. You are always complaining about his short attention span."
What?!
It was all Legolas could do not to sit up right then and let Elrohir have it with both barrels.
"I have not!" Elrohir cried in panic and despair..."I have not said that Legolas, I promise! I do not think you flighty!"
For goodness sake. He was going to ruin the whole thing.
"Elrohir." He could hear Elrond move towards his son. "You are obvious overwrought child. Why don't you leave us to sort Legolas out and come back when you have calmed down. He cannot hear you son."
"You mean I can leave?" The relief in Elrohir's voice was palpable and Legolas realised he was going to abandon him, leave him alone to sort this mess out by himself. How dare he!
"Yes, leave." Elrond's steps moved away from the bedside. He was obviously steering Elrohir out the door. "Go and lie down child. Legolas will be safe with us."
"I didn't say it, Legolas!" He heard Elrohir cry as the door shut on him, his voice fading to nothing.
And then he was alone.
Alone with Elrond and Aragorn who believed him unconscious and were about to discover otherwise.
Life was so unfair.
"What were his symptoms?" Elrond asked then. His voice right near his ear. "How did he present to you?"
"Dizziness." Aragorn said quickly, "unexplained dizziness...and he has a wound to his thigh, but that is nearly healed. There was this sudden unconsciousness for which I can find no cause."
"Hmm..." Elrond prodded the wound on Legolas' thigh and it HURT! Could he not stop doing that? "This is nothing, it is virtually healed, though I am surprised Thranduil let him travel here with it." And Legolas wondered, why did they all say that? Did they think his father mollycoddled him?
"Perhaps there is poison?" Elrond went on, "It could be..."
"But he was insistant it was allergies...to the Noldor." Having latched on to the allergy idea Aragorn was not going to let it go.
"I have told you that is nonsense Estel!"
"Some would say Thranduil himself has an allergy to the Noldor, Elrond." That was a third voice, a new voice that Legolas knew instantly and his stomach fell. What had he done to deserve this? Why were the gods frowning on him so badly. He may as well confess all now for the game was well and truly up.
"Mithrander, you know that is simply called obstinance and bad temper, not allergies." Elrond snapped in reply to the wizard.
Mithrander...seriously could he not even get one break? Legolas asked himself. Did Aragorn really have to bring the all-knowing wizard as well as Elrond the elven super healer?
He felt the faint brush of the Wizards beard against his skin as he bent over and peered into his face. Then it disappeared. He must have stood up.
"Why don't you fetch me some food, Elrond." Mithrander asked...no actually he ordered it. "I will watch the boy while you eat but I do find I am more than slightly hungry."
"I cannot leave him now before I have discovered what is going on here!" Elrond said in alarm, "This is Thranduil's son...Elbereth, it is not worth my life to let anything happen to him here."
And Legolas could not help but feel slightly smug that his father could still instil that kind of fear into Elrond.
"Yes, well he seems quite stable, whatever the problem may be. Why don't we wait and see just what happens with a bit of time since there is nothing obviously wrong with him. I am happy to watch him. Don't worry Elrond, I am not keen to fall foul of Thranduil myself."
And so after some more spluttering Elrond and Aragorn departed. Not that that helped any, Legolas thought because Mithrander was worse than both of them and he still had to lie still like a dead thing. Something which became immeasurably harder when the food Elrond had sent for the wizard arrived.
It smelt glorious and Legolas realised he was suddenly, incredibly, hungry, no he was ravenous! And the wizard spent so long eating it he felt he would go mad from the smell. His mouth was watering despite himself.
Then Mithrander started up a commentary which did not help at all.
"Oh this chicken is delicious...Elrond has outdone himself with this...and the bread rolls! Fresh out of the oven they are I believe."
Who did that? Legolas wondered angrily, Who spent their time commenting on every morsel they put in their mouth...when they were alone? Was he mad?
He could not stand this! He had to eat something, he just had to!
"Would you like some Legolas?" The wizard asked conversationally it the midst of describing an incredibly delightful chocolate mousse.
"Yes!" Legolas answered before he even stopped to think. He sat up, opened his eyes and snatched the mousse out of the Wizards hands. An easy feat since he seems to be holding it out right under Legolas' nose.
"And what have we here?" The wizard exclaimed and it didn't sound genuine at all. "Our Woodelf has awoken!"
"I am hungry." Legolas snapped angrily, shovelling the chocolate into his mouth. "I haven't eaten all day and I have ridden half the way from the Greenwood today."
"Half the way from the Greenwood? Really Legolas that is a bit of an overstatement. Much like your sudden allergies I believe. You must try harder than that. You father will be very disappointed in you."
And the wizard laughed.
"You knew all along I was pretending!" Legolas cried.
"Well, I must admit the fact Elrohir seemed convinced you could hear him was a giveaway. The boy is highly strung, and not very bright but he is not THAT unintelligent normally."
Briefly Legolas thought he should protest, should defend Elrohir for that was an insult but then he remembered how enthusiastically Elrohir had abandoned him, and the fact he called him flighty so he did not.
"It was his idea in the first place," he protested instead. "He was the one who told me to pretend to be ill."
"Perhaps unconsciousness was not what he had in mind?"
"Yes, well Aragorn would not keep quiet, he kept asking questions and what else was I supposed to do?" He flung his hands in the air in frustration.
"Answer them, might be the normal thing."Really the wizard could be so annoying when he was being smug.
"So, Legolas, Mithrander continued, "the question here is not that you were pretending but WHY were you pretending?
"Are you going to tell me?"