Australian Christmas Greetings

Law & Order: Criminal Intent

by RoadrunnerGER

Disclaimer: No, still don't own them. Who said so? They're not mine. :(( The same applies to the song.

4

Give me your love for Christmas

In the meantime the former half of the second pair of lead detectives of Major Case Squad was working in the kitchen. Carolyn Barek picked a few leaves from the basil on the windowsill to chop and add them to the sauce she was cooking.

She had planned to make herself something special. In her opinion an Advent Sunday was a good reason to spoil herself a bit. But still it did not make her feel good.

It would be a lonely meal. With no family left in America to spend the holidays with she sometimes wished to be on duty instead of sitting at home, wondering if she would remain alone forever. There were some relatives back in Europe, but she never heard more than maybe once a year from them since her parents died, and as she hardly knew them she did not write to them either.

So will I remain alone?

For her it was a horrible idea to grow old alone. Once she thought she had found love, but then she got the offer to join the Marshal Service and their paths separated.

I wonder what he's doing. If he's on duty right now? Or is he sitting at home? Or at a bar, ordering shots in a row?

A sigh escaped her. There was no way to know what her former partner was doing right now except for one… and she sure as hell would not call his cell phone.

Stirring the sauce she stared into the pots. She had lost her appetite. So she turned off the stove and strolled over to the living room where she had an open bottle of red wine and her glass. Carolyn sat down on the sofa. Soft music was running on the radio. Now another Christmas carol started, and she recognized the singer as Johnny Mathis.

Give me your love for Christmas wrapped in a kiss or two

Sealed with a smile that tells me that I'll spend every Christmas with you

No other gift is needed to fill my heart with cheer

Give me your love for Christmas and I'll have a Happy New Year

It made her soul ache. This song reminded her of the missed chance that could have been wonderful and special.

Why didn't we stay in contact? I would have loved that. I would have loved it even more if we were in closer contact than before.

Another sigh made the wine in her glass ripple. The last notes faded and she took the remote to turn off the radio, too. Music was also an idea that made her stomach churn ruthlessly.

Her gaze fell on the phone. She thought about calling him, but then she thought better of it.

Don't be stupid. He obviously doesn't want anything to do with you, or he would've called. On her last day with Major Case Squad they had dinner together… at the diner they usually went to. They talked about staying in touch, but her first weeks on the new job had been stressful. Once she had a call on her answering machine, but never found a calm moment to call back.

And so they had never spoken with each other after her parting from Major Case.

I could just go to bed, she thought bitterly. If I'm sleeping, maybe it won't hurt as bad.

Remembering the glass in her hand she gulped down the remaining wine in it. Then she got up and vanished in the bathroom.

xxx

Not that far away in another apartment in Manhattan someone else was spending his free day alone. Mike Logan was not willing to leave his apartment.

The other night he went out drinking alone. He had wanted to go out with his new partner, Nola Falacci, who was replacing Wheeler for a while, because it seemed as if Wheeler's new assignment would probably become a permanent one. So Mike decided to try and get to know Nola a bit better… but all he could find out was that she did not only take the homicide investigator's master class but also a course in forensic psychology at Quantico and that she had family, a husband and three kids. That's why she turned down Mike's invitation for drinks last night.

Working with Falacci was demanding. The best example so far was the day they stood in Ross' office and he was the one finding an excuse to get them out of there. It made her furious. When he started to laugh, she stared at him in confusion, a smile forcing its way out. When she had asked why he was laughing, he had just admitted that he was not exactly used to being the voice of reason.

The voice of reason.

Mike remembered a time when there had been a warm and soft voice that had kept him in line. He could not understand it.

Why haven't I called her again? Dammit! It's been how long now? More than a year! And we talked how often? Not once!

Mike stared into his beer bottle before he took another gulp.

I miss her, he thought. It wasn't just that we worked so great together, we had a… connection. If she had stayed, we might've gotten into trouble because of regulations. But would that have been so bad?

Scratching his head, he continued to contemplate his former partner while old Johnny Mathis song played on the radio.

Give me your love for christmas wrapped in a kiss or two

Sealed with a smile that tells me that I'll spend every Christmas with you

No other gift is needed to fill my heart with cheer

Give me your love for Christmas and I'll have a Happy New Year

After she left Major Case to join the Marshal Service he had called her, but could not get her on the phone because she was always working. She did not even call him back. So he figured that she did not want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Barek. Carolyn. Hmmm… I like the sound of her name. Carolyn Barek. He smiled. I should've just asked her out, but something wouldn't let me.

Bringing the bottle to his lips again, he realized that it was empty. He did not want to get up and get another. All he wanted was to sit there and get drunk, because maybe it would dull the pain. The pain of thinking of all the missed chances, and what might have been.

I could call her, Mike thought. But it's Sunday, the first of December… so she'll have better things to do than to listen to her drunk partner's ramblings. He winced. Stop it Logan! She's not even your partner anymore! She chose another job and left you to deal with miss kiddy-cop Wheeler.

Snorting he tried to push the thought away. Wheeler was not that bad. Okay, she was young and so different to Caro… A sigh escaped him.

Finally he did not call but sat on the sofa instead, staring holes into the ceiling, trying not to think of Carolyn and that it was way too late to try to reach her again more than one year after their last talk.

tbc…