Tony hefted his backpack over his shoulder and balanced his phone and cup of coffee in one hand as he locked his car with the other. Depending on what side of the couch Gibbs had gotten off that morning, it was possible Tony would regret making the stop to pick up breakfast on his way to work. But his kitchen was bare (as usual) and he'd fallen asleep in front of the TV last night before he'd had a chance to go get some dinner. He'd woken up starving, and if he was going to get through the day without strangling his co-workers, he knew he would have to grab a quick bagel to go from the bakery down the street. It had ended up taking him ten minutes because the line had been ridiculously long, and everyone had ordered a coffee as well. But his belly was now, well, not full. But less empty. And it was worth being tardy for.
He walked across the parking garage to the elevator, and while he waited for it to arrive he tried to check his personal email. The parking garage at NCIS was a mystical place. Sometimes, you got five bars of reception. Sometimes you got none. Sometimes, if you got none and moved an inch to the right, you got two or three bars. This morning, he got none. No matter how much he swayed around.
He put his phone in his pocket as the elevator arrived and he got in. He hit the button for the third floor, and as the doors were about to close he heard running footsteps coming towards him. Tony threw his arm out in between the doors to make them open again, and in the process almost smacked Ziva in the face. She jerked and dodged as he snatched his arm back, and then they both stood still and stared at each other while they recovered and assured themselves no violent contact had been made. The doors started to close again, and this time Ziva stepped between them onto the lift.
"Morning," Tony said casually as they finally started to rise.
"Good morning."
"Sorry about almost punching you in the face, there."
"No problem." She turned towards him slightly to look him up and down. "Did you sleep better last night?"
Tony swallowed a sip of coffee as he nodded. "Passed out at about eight. Didn't wake up until five. You?"
"I got a few hours."
He returned her appraising look. "Can't turn off your thoughts?"
"Yes," she lied.
He pointed at her with his coffee. "Maybe you need to meditate."
Ziva shifted her weight to her other foot. "I am not good at being still when it is not required of me."
The elevator stopped on their floor, and Tony smiled to himself as they walked out. That was an understatement. "Then maybe you should look into sleeping pills."
She frowned at him as though he should know better than to suggest it. "I am worse at being unconscious and potentially vulnerable."
Tony was going to reply. But then Abby came charging at them from the other end of the bullpen, chains jangling and boots thumping, and all of his thoughts went out of his head.
"Where have you been?" she demanded to know. It was just past eight and she was already in a state.
"Driving in," Tony said carefully, and began to wonder if her wasn't the last one to arrive after all.
"Are you all right?" Ziva asked her. She shared a bewildered look with Tony.
Abby looked between them and some of the intensity seemed to drain from her. "Did you guys come in together?" she asked, and there was something in her voice that made Tony think that she'd be upset if he said they had. Had she needed a lift in or something?
"No, we met in the elevator," he told her. "What's wrong?"
Her intensity came back full force, and she gestured wildly at the bullpen behind them. "Where is everyone? Everyone's usually here by now!" She stopped and looked at Tony. "Well, you're not always here. Why are you here when everyone else isn't?"
"Because it's upside down day," he told her, deadpan, as if it was really a thing that they'd all agreed to.
"Tony," Ziva admonished gently. "I am sure they will be here in a moment," she said to Abby.
On cue, McGee walked into the bullpen from the opposite end, Cassie in tow. They both looked sunny and cheery, and Tony rolled his eyes to himself. Morning sex was only okay if Tony was the one having it. McGee could jump in the lake.
"See?" Ziva continued. "McGee is here. Good morning, McGee and Cassie."
"Morning!" McGee greeted enthusiastically.
"Ugh," Abby muttered to herself, just loud enough for Tony to hear. He wanted to hug her in solidarity. Happy morning sex people were the worst.
He and Ziva split off to their desks as McGee unlocked his desk drawer and retrieved a USB stick. He handed it over to Cassie, who thanked him and then approached Ziva.
"Morning, all," she said, looking between Ziva, Abby and Tony.
"Cassandra," Tony greeted.
Abby gave her a half smile and a wilted wave.
"Are you free this weekend?" Cassie asked Ziva. "Because I called the track and they've got an opening we could take."
Tony looked over at them in interest, wondering what they had planned. But Ziva's frown suggested she didn't know what they had planned either.
"What track?"
"Motorbike racing!" Cassie said obviously. "Remember? We were talking the other day—"
Tony's interest piqued. "You're going racing? Me and Ziva did that. It was awesome."
"When did you do that?" Abby asked.
"For my birthday," he told her. "They've got this course that's really hilly and you go really fast—"
Cassie pointed at him as he made her argument for her. "Right! We could do that this weekend. Up and down hills, really fast. Are you free?"
"It depends on this case," Ziva said. "Tentative yes."
"Sounds fun," Abby said flatly.
"Would you like to come?" Cassie offered.
"No," Abby replied, then turned to Tony, as if the verbal shut down wasn't enough. "Aren't you worried that Gibbs isn't here?" she demanded.
Tony watched Cassie share a telling look with Ziva and then quietly leave the room before refocusing on Abby. "Uh, no. I'm sure he's on his way. Or he's just gone for a coffee." He eyed her with borderline concern. She was being proper weird, not just Abby weird. He adopted his big brother tone. "Tell me what's up."
Abby gave him the wide-eyed worried look that usually meant that things were bad, but only in her head. "It's just…none of you were here when you were supposed to be," she said. "I worry when I don't know where you are or what's going on."
"We're all fine," he assured her. "Nothing to worry about."
Abby nodded solemnly, but then her eyes drifted above his desk and solemn turned to animation. "GIBBS!" she yelled, and went running around the side of Tony's desk. Tony looked at Ziva and raised his eyebrows, asking if she had any idea what was going on. Ziva shook her head. He turned to McGee with the same expression, but McGee just shrugged and made a face that said he agreed she was being especially weird.
Behind him, Tony heard Gibbs let out an 'oof!' which he assumed meant that Abby had crash tackled him.
"Morning, Abs," Gibbs said.
"I was worried about you, Gibbs," Abby told him. "You weren't where you were supposed to be."
"Been here for an hour," he told her, and the two of them rejoined the team.
"Well, good. Because I have news," she said, swapping her weird intensity for her regular intensity. "Tom West's tox screen came back."
"And?"
"He had, like, a metric buttload of amphetamines in his system," she said, spreading her arms out like she was drawing a line and refusing any doubt. "Plus he was taking SNRIs."
"What's that?" Gibbs asked.
"Antidepressants," Abby translated.
"Metric buttload?" Tony repeated.
Abby shrugged. "Totally scientific measurement."
"Depression could be the reason he took leave," Ziva said.
"I talked to Ducky," Abby said "And he said that combining amphetamines with SNRIs, especially when the dose of amphetamines was as high as what Tom West took, it can cause heart failure."
"What kind of amphetamine was it?" Tony asked.
"I'm still working on that."
"Okay. So, either Viv was lying to us, or she had no idea her husband was depressed and taking speed," Tony said, then had another thought. "You know, that could explain why his bathroom was so wet. If he had an overdose he would have been completely dehydrated and going out of his mind. He would've been thirsty as hell."
"It's also possible he was trying to self medicate with the amphetamines," McGee said. "Could've overdosed by accident."
"It is an unusual way to suicide," Ziva threw in. She looked at Tony. "It is not possible to say for sure, but on the video we saw of him in the plant nursery he did not appear to be under the influence of drugs."
Tony shook his head, agreeing with her.
Gibbs stepped forward, cutting off the speculation. "Okay. Ziva, call Viv and get her in here. We need to discuss this with her."
"On it," Ziva said, and picked up the phone.
"DiNozzo, are we still on to talk to his commander on the MacAllister this morning?"
"Scheduled for 1100 in MTAC," Tony confirmed.
Gibbs nodded. "Abs, keep working on finding out what kind of drug it was. Then maybe we'll be able to work out where he got it."
…
Viv West looked like she hadn't slept since the last time Ziva had seen her. To be fair, she probably hadn't. But she had pulled herself together to face this interview. Her clothes were neat, if not in the same casual style she'd worn when they first met. Her red curls had been pulled back in a tidy ponytail. And although her eyes were puffy, Ziva doubted that any more tears would fall while she was in the company of other people.
She sat at one end of the conference room table with her hands clasped in front of her and a glass of water within reach. She gave Ziva a polite smile when she and Gibbs entered the room, but her eyes quickly moved on to Gibbs, the one she assumed would be doing the talking and interviewing. Gibbs took a seat at the table, leaving one seat empty between them, and gave her the same detached smile that he had at the crime scene. As he flipped open his notepad, Ziva wondered to herself how he would handle this. Viv West wasn't their usual grieving widow. She was a cop—one with a history with Gibbs—and Ziva didn't get the impression that she wanted them to go easy on her with the details. But rightly or wrongly, Gibbs had a tendency to soften things for spouses, especially women. And he definitely had a tendency to hold information back when they weren't yet sure that the spouse was in the clear.
"Thank you for coming in, Viv," Gibbs started.
Viv nodded impatiently and leaned forward towards him. "So, where are you at?"
"Ducky's completed his autopsy, and Abby's been doing some tox screens on Tom's blood samples," Gibbs told her. "It looks like the official cause of death is going to be sudden cardiac death, most likely brought on by a combination of drugs in his system."
Viv frowned deeply as she studied him silently for a few seconds. Then, she very calmly asked, "What drugs?"
"Did you know he was taking antidepressants?" Gibbs asked carefully.
Viv's spine straightened, and Ziva got the feeling she was about to defend her husband. "Yes, I knew. He had been taking them for a few months. Seven, eight, maybe. They were prescribed by a private physician."
"He did not want the Navy to know he was taking them?" Ziva clarified.
"It would have been frowned upon," Viv told her. "He wanted to keep it quiet."
"Why was he taking them?" Gibbs asked.
Viv shook her head as she thought about it. "There was no trauma," she told them. "No single event or series of events that he was trying to get over. He was just…sad. And he had been for a few years. Since around the time Zoe was born. We'd talked about it, and he finally decided that he would do something about it."
"Was he in therapy?" Ziva asked.
"No. He went to see a counselor a few times when he started taking the drugs, but he didn't keep up with it." She looked at Ziva knowingly. "I wanted him to keep going, but men aren't good at admitting they need help or talking about how they feel. You know."
Ziva nodded politely, and wondered again where Viv had gotten the impression that Ziva was a wife and mother who knew all about the joys and irritations those roles brought to life.
"We reached a compromise where he wouldn't have to go to his counselor every week as long as he kept taking the medication. But he didn't have access while he was on the MacAllister."
Gibbs leaned forward and seemed to try to soften his tone. "Did it cause problems between you?"
"Our marriage was fine," she told him, cutting to the chase. "We had ups and downs like everyone does, and yes, dealing with his low mood was very difficult at times. But we were fine."
"Did his depression contribute to his need for some time off?" Ziva asked.
Viv turned her head to look at Ziva sitting on the other side of her. "Yes. He said he just needed some time to reset."
"So the medication wasn't working for him?" Gibbs asked.
Viv swung her head back around to look at him. "He'd been at sea for a few months, so it's hard for me to say for sure. But he certainly seemed better to me in the last few weeks while he was home. He just wanted some time off to catch his breath." She paused and took a moment to compose herself before she got upset. "I don't understand how the antidepressants could have caused a heart attack in a healthy man, Gibbs. And out of the blue. He'd been taking those pills for months."
Gibbs glanced Ziva's way before letting Viv in on the other side of the pill puzzle. "Abby's tox screen found a large dose of amphetamines in his system. Combined with the type of antidepressant Tom was taking, it could have caused him to suffer heart failure."
Viv stared at him for a full five seconds before angrily declaring, "You have got to be kidding."
"We ran his blood—"
"Tom was not taking amphetamines," she cut in. "No way in hell. He has never been the kind of man to get involved in any of that crap, Gibbs. I doubt it even crossed his mind. He was a family man, and he took his service to this country seriously. And he was smart. He would have known exactly what he had to lose if he was caught with it."
"His career," Gibbs stated.
"Without a doubt."
"What about you and the kids?"
Viv narrowed her eyes, but then took another moment to breathe and compose herself. "I don't know," she said honestly. "But he is…was my husband. The love of my life. And I wouldn't have just cut him out of it like that." She clicked her fingers.
An uncomfortable silence followed, and Ziva tried not to squirm in her seat. She doubted that Viv would be inclined to be terribly cooperative with Gibbs after their last exchange, but they still needed her onside. She closed her notebook and tried to make nice.
"Viv, why don't we go for a walk and get some coffee?" she suggested.
Viv pushed her chair back and got to her feet. "Yes, let's do that. I suddenly need the fresh air."
…
"You know what the extra 'B' in Gibbs is for, right?" Viv said as she and Ziva walked across the lawns in front of the NCIS building. "Bastard."
Ziva smiled wryly. She had heard that before, and she didn't necessarily disagree. Most of the time, she thought of Gibbs as a father figure and had great affection and respect for him. The rest of the time, well, he was a bastard.
"I can't believe DiNozzo's still working with him," Viv went on. "I mean, bless him, he's not the brightest guy around. But he's got good instincts and he brought this reputation of being some kind of wunderkind with him when he arrived. I can't believe he hasn't moved on by now and left someone else to deal with Gibbs' issues."
Ziva pursed her lips. There was so much in that that she wanted to address, but she didn't see where it would get her. Viv didn't seem to have painted her with the same brush she had for Gibbs and Tony, so it was probably a good idea to stay in her good graces while they were trying to work out what happened to her husband.
Viv seemed to realize that she had stuck her foot in it, and she sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Agent David. That's not fair. I just needed to blow off some steam."
"That is understandable," Ziva said.
"I just feel like Gibbs is holding grudges for things that happened ten years ago," she went on, but far more calmly this time.
"Viv, I was not here when you were," Ziva started. "I do not know what Gibbs was like then. But the agent I know is only interested in finding the truth."
Viv looked at her out of the corner of her eye and nodded. "I'm counting on it."
They paused to let an agency issue sedan streak by and then crossed the street, avoiding the puddles of melting snow from the night before. Ziva led her down the path between the memorial garden for the victims of the Harper Dearing bombing last summer and a disused administration building down to the coffee cart that was Tony's favorite.
"Did he tell you what happened?" Viv asked, not quite meeting Ziva's eyes.
"Tony did," Ziva told her. "Briefly."
Viv crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not proud," she said. "But it made me better at my job. I've become a pretty good detective. And there is no doubt in my mind that Tom was not using amphetamines. I would have known. You can't be that close to someone and not know that they're keeping a secret, right?"
Ziva nodded her understanding, even if she did not agree entirely. But Viv continued on without paying any attention.
"I don't know how they got into his system, but I do know that Tom didn't willingly take them. And if you don't prove it, I will."
It sounded like a threat to Ziva, and she made a mental note to mention it to Tony later. But she didn't think it would come to Viv making good on her word. Ziva believed her when she said that Tom wasn't the kind of person to take party drugs. And she doubted that even if he did take them on purpose, that he would do it in the morning when he knew his wife was coming home to see him for lunch. Something else was definitely at play here.
"We will find out what happened, Viv," she assured her.
They got to the front of the line and placed their orders, and then took their steaming cups over to a nearby bench.
"How are your children coping?" Ziva asked gently. "Jack and Zoe?"
Viv stared at the ground for a full five seconds before taking a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting it out again. Ziva's heart ached for her. "Inconsolable," she said. "Zoe doesn't really understand. She asked for him this morning. I think she thinks he went back out to sea. Jack's heartbroken. Tom was his hero."
Ziva watched her as she struggled to keep it together. The agony of loss was set in every line in her face. Unless she was the greatest actor the world had ever seen, it was clear that Viv had nothing to do with her husband's death.
"He was my hero, too," she added softly.
The statement hit Ziva in the chest, but she chose not to say anything. She just listened quietly and let Viv talk out her thoughts.
"We met in my final week at NCIS, actually," she said. "And he came along at just the right time. I was feeling so terrible about myself. I didn't know what I was doing in my career. I'd lost contact with a lot of my friends, because they were all moving on with life and I was stuck on the singles table at all of their weddings. I just felt really lost. And then Tom came along. I met him at one of those horrible weddings. He made me laugh. He made me relax and stop worrying about whether I was doing everything right. He made me have fun. Before I knew it, he'd become my best friend. Then he went to sea for six months and I started crying every time I thought about him."
Ziva smiled with empathy. She couldn't help putting herself in Viv's shoes. She remembered a time when her best friend had been sent out to sea for a few months, while she'd been sent to the other side of the world. She remembered trying to contact him and hearing nothing back, and remembered allowing herself to dissolve into tears exactly one time to purge the ache within her. All over a man who, at the time, she couldn't admit to loving.
"I never thought that I'd find anyone for me," Viv told her. "Not me. I'm too independent. I didn't love myself enough. I spent most of my time working, and to be honest, I lost contact with a lot of my friends because I couldn't be bothered making time for them. I didn't feel like anyone understood me. But then Tom came along and he made me want to change. I don't know what would have become of me if I didn't meet him. And I don't know what'll become of me now."
It was all cutting too close to the bone for Ziva, and she was beginning to feel a strong urge to go and find her partner and hug him tightly. So she was pleased for the chance to speak up and break up her thoughts.
"It will not be easy without him," Ziva said. "You will not find anyone who would tell you otherwise. But you have your children together. You have him in them. And you have him in the woman you are today."
Viv absorbed that, and then looked at Ziva with fear in her eyes that Ziva had seen time and time again. "I know it should be, Agent David. But right now I just can't see how that will ever be enough."
…
Gibbs was already in MTAC when Tony arrived. He was sitting in the front row with a coffee in his hand and watching satellite images on the main screen, and he barely turned his head when Tony sat down next to him.
"How did Viv take the news?" he asked, keeping his voice down so as not to disrupt the other people in the room.
"Knew about the antidepressants," Gibbs replied. "Rejected the amphetamines."
"How long had he been depressed?"
"Years."
Tony lifted his eyebrows, but Gibbs wasn't looking at him. And even if he was, Tony didn't get the impression he wanted to discuss it in more detail right now. "Believe her?"
That bought him a second of eye contact. "Ziva's taken her for coffee."
Tony sat back in his seat as he considered what Gibbs was saying. Viv was more likely to be open and honest with Ziva instead of her former co-workers. Considering the circumstances that had led to Viv leaving the team, Tony thought Gibbs might be right about that.
"What's going on with Abby?"
The question was so far out of left field that it took Tony a little while to work out that Gibbs was aiming the question at him. "What?"
Gibbs shot him an annoyed side eye. "Abby. She told you what's up with her?"
Tony thought back over the last week of interactions with the emotional Goth. It was only this morning that she'd been acting out of the ordinary, as far as he could tell. But he didn't know what was behind it. "No. You want me to—"
"Nope."
"Agent Gibbs?"
The two of them looked over at the MTAC operator. Solis, Tony thought her name was.
"Agent Geasley is on the line for you."
Gibbs nodded and he and Tony stood up to receive the call. A moment later Bob Geasley, Agent Afloat on the USS MacAllister, appeared on the screen against the backdrop of the MacAllister's communications centre. He was about five years younger than Tony, about the same height but thicker with athletic muscle he'd somehow managed to maintain since college. In the face, he looked uncomfortably too similar to Damon Werth for Tony's liking. But he was far more relaxed and far less intense.
"Gibbs, DiNozzo," he greeted, with an easy nod.
"Morning, Bob," Gibbs returned. "How's the sea air treating you?"
Geasley smirked and rolled his eyes, then checked over his shoulder for witnesses before he replied. "It's ravaging my skin," he joked, and looked at Tony. "Anytime you want to trade, DiNozzo, just let me know. I know you were a fan—"
"Pass," Tony cut in. "My sea legs aren't what they used to be. But thanks for the offer."
"Oh well. Just know that the offer's always there."
Tony shook his head.
"So, you want to talk about Lieutenant Tom West?" Geasley asked, moving things along.
Gibbs nodded. "He was found dead two days ago at his home."
"That's sad," Geasley said. "I didn't know the guy personally, but he had a good rep on the ship."
"So you never had any run-ins with him?" Tony checked. "One way or another."
Geasley shook his head. "Nope. I asked around and it sounds like he was as straight and narrow as they come. I never got any complaints about him. Never had to deal with any of the guys under him."
"Did he make any trips to sick bay on your last deployment?" Gibbs asked.
Geasley frowned, and his eyes travelled across the panels in front of him as if they'd hold the answer. But he shook his head. "Sorry, don't know. I'll have to check on that and get back to you."
"Did you know anything about why he took leave?" Tony asked.
Geasley shook his head again. "If there was a specific reason, it hadn't filtered through to me." He paused and looked between them. "What were the circumstances of his death?" he asked. "I thought they were pretty cut and dry."
"Where'd you hear that?" Gibbs asked.
"Scuttlebutt, I guess. News travels fast."
Gibbs thought it over and glanced at Tony. Tony knew he had an idea, but he couldn't work out from Gibbs' poker face what it might be.
"You reckon you could organize some interviews for us?" he asked Geasley. "Anyone he worked with regularly."
"I guess," Geasley said at length. "Might take a few days, but—"
"I'll send DiNozzo and David out on a helo tonight," Gibbs broke in. "You're anchored off the coast right now. They can do the interviews face-to-face. It'll be faster."
Tony felt his chest grow tight. "Thanks, boss," he muttered. He just loved being sent out to sea.
Geasley looked about as pleased with the plan as Tony felt. "Gibbs, come on. At least let me clear it with the Captain."
"So clear it," Gibbs said. "You got a helo leaving at 1500, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Should be plenty of time." He gave Geasley a rare, wide smile. "This is your chance to knock DiNozzo out and switch identities."
"Hey!" Tony protested. "You're sending Ziva too."
"He's not going to be able to pass himself off as Ziva, DiNozzo," Gibbs said.
"I meant she wouldn't let it happen," Tony argued.
"I wouldn't mind being stuck out here with her, though," Geasley said, making Tony's hackles rise. "Okay, Gibbs. Let me clear it. I'll get in touch if there's a problem."
"Our regards to your Captain," Gibbs said, then gave Solis the signal to cut the transmission.
Tony waited until he turned to face him, and then lifted an eyebrow. "You know Vance is going to get an angry phone call from the Captain now."
Gibbs shrugged, and didn't quite succeed in holding back a grin. "The director's an excellent diplomat, DiNozzo. I'm sure he'll handle it with grace."
Tony rolled his eyes and then his head as he turned to follow Gibbs out of MTAC.
Back in the bullpen, Ziva was leaning back against the shelf behind McGee's desk and watching him type at lightning speed. She looked up as Tony and Gibbs returned, but McGee remained laser focused on his computer screen.
"Agent Afloat?" Ziva prompted.
"West was the perfect officer," Tony told her. "As far as he knew. Didn't know him personally, but heard good things."
Ziva opened her mouth to ask another question, but Gibbs jumped in.
"I'm sending you and DiNozzo out there to confirm with those who knew him," he said. "You're on a transport at 1500."
Ziva narrowed her eyes and pushed her jaw forward as she absorbed the information, and then just accepted it. She looked over at Tony, who took the opportunity of Gibbs' back being turned to mime hanging himself with his tie. She smiled, and Tony took his seat before Gibbs turned back around.
"Of course," Ziva finally said in reply to Gibbs. "No problem."
Gibbs nodded like he knew it wouldn't be. "What'd Viv say?"
"She made a compelling case against her involvement."
"Do you believe her?"
"Yes," she replied without hesitation.
"Then we got to prove it."
"I can almost prove that Tom West wasn't buying the drugs himself," McGee piped up. "I've been looking through their bank records for the last three months, and there are no abnormal withdrawals of any kind. The Wests are incredibly routine with their payments. Almost everything is done online. The few withdrawals they make from ATMs seem to be from the same ATMs near their home, and of roughly the same amount." He looked between each of his co-workers. "If he was buying drugs while he was back in the States, he was buying them cheap. Or he had a separate bank account we haven't found yet."
"Make sure he didn't," Gibbs said. "Meanwhile, I want to know what the people he spent every day with said about him. Not second hand information from an agent afloat, or the romanticized version from his wife."
Tony looked over at Ziva. "I think that's our cue."
Ziva looked out the window at the grey sky and tree branches swaying in the wind. "And what a lovely day it is for sailing."
I know you're all less interested in case stuff than you are in other stuff, but it's a casefic so I've got to include chapters like this occasionally. Other stuff is certainly coming, but I hope these bits keep you interested in between them. Thank you for reading!