AN: Thank you for all of your feedback! I love hearing from all of you! I'm sorry this chapter took so long, but I hit writer's block for a bit. This chapter will be from Flay's perspective again, because I wanted to build the tension of her new surroundings. I think I'll do a chapter from Yzak's perspective after this chapter though. I have notes at the end of the chapter as well to describe some of the choices I made with a character at the end of the chapter.
Behind Enemy Lines
Commander Le Creuset
It's the first time Flay is allowed in the mess hall rather than having food brought to her. Flay supposes that to some degree they trust her enough to allow her out of her room unsupervised. The small bit of freedom is nice, but she still feels out of place. Nicol is standing behind her in the line. She hasn't spoken much to him, but she's observed him enough to notice that he has a softer temper the rest of the crew. She glances over her shoulder. Their eyes meet and he smiles to her. Flay manages to smile back.
"How are you?" he asks.
"Uh…um," she says. "I'm good."
"Yzak was hit hard yesterday," he says. "I tried to visit him last night, but he was passed out."
"He slept most of the day," Flay says. "He talked with me for a little bit. I guess a Coordinator is fighting against you guys."
"It's odd," Nicol says. "I'm not sure why he's chosen to aid the Earth Alliance."
Flay takes her tray of food along with a thermos of coffee. She eyes an empty table at the far corner to her right. She can be by herself. Flay makes her way over to the table and takes a seat. Nicol sets his tray in front of her and sits across from her. Flay's eyes snap up to his. She takes her coffee thermos in hand and takes a sip before setting it back on the table.
"I hope you don't mind if I sit with you," Nicol says.
"Uh...no," she says. "I don't mind."
Flay wouldn't say that she's upset that Nicol has approached her. She's more confused than anything. The rest of the crew aside from Yzak and Doctor Frazier have treated her with indifference. That aside, Nicol has a kind demeanor about him that Flay would have never expected of a ZAFT soldier. He's like Kira Yamato in some ways - very kind, but not quite as emotional.
"Why did you join ZAFT?" Flay asks. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't seem like a soldier."
"I don't want to fight people," Nicol says. "But, after what happened to Junius 7, I had to do something to help."
Flay takes a bite of her sandwich and sets it back down on her tray. She hadn't really thought of how Junius 7 had affected the PLANTs. She'd been so caught up in her own little world to really think farther than herself. She takes another sip of coffee before returning the thermos to the table.
Flay tries to be hopeful about returning to Orb. Her skin feels as if it's being pricked by a thousand needles as it dawns on her that it may never come to be. There's this longing to be on Earth. She misses the way the air brushes against her skin, and she longs to hear the soft ocean waves. Flay's heart feels as if it's being crushed, and she feels tears begin to form in the back of her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
Nicol's voice brings her back. Flay feels as if she's been pulled from her thoughts and back to reality. She attempts to smile, but imagines that it isn't very convincing.
"I was just uh...worried," she says.
"I'm worried about Yzak too," Nicol says.
Flay hadn't expected for that assumption to be made, but she decides to go with it. "I haven't really seen people hurt in such a way before. I'm not used to seeing people in pain."
Flay looks to the clock mounted on the wall. It's almost time for her to start her shift.
"Uh...excuse me," she says. "I need to start my shift."
"Of course," Nicol says with a wave. "Tell Yzak that I hope to see him on his feet soon."
Flay gives Nicol a small nod. She turns away from him and leaves the cafeteria. Two enlisted men pass by her and lear at her as if she is some kind of leper. They whisper amongst each other and laugh. She must be some huge joke. To them, she is just some spoiled brat daughter of a Blue Cosmos radical.
It isn't even true. They don't know Papa...
Flay stops in front of the medbay. She places her hand against the wall as she tries to soothe the anxiety building within her. There's no way off this ship. No matter how much she wishes they would send her home, it is something that is an impossibility. She breathes as her realization starts to settle. Until the war is over, she won't be going home.
"What am I going to do?" she wraps her arms around herself as tears start to form.
Flay wipes the stray tears from her eyes. She's doesn't have the knowledge or the military training it would take to escape a ZAFT warship. The only thing that she can do is obey ZAFT until the war is over or the Earth Alliance finds a way to free her. She'll have to make do with her situation no matter how much she hates it.
Flay pulls herself together. She keys in the access code to the medbay and steps inside. Yzak shifts over in his bed and looks up to her.
"Doctor Frazier is talking with Commander Le Creuset," Yzak says. "He'll be back soon."
Flay looks to him for a moment and nods softly. She walks towards the vacant desk and sits on the rotating chair. She leans back into it and releases a heavy sigh. Tears start to sting her eyes, and she turns the chair away from Yzak. She tries to be discreet as she wipes tears from her eyes. She can't let him see her cry. He'd laugh at her, or at the very least tell her to stop. Flay hears the bed creak and she turns to see Yzak sitting upright.
"You're crying?" he says.
"I just…" she says. "I had something stuck in my eye."
His eyes avert away from hers. "You don't have to lie. I get it that you want to be anywhere but here. I'd be pissed if I were stuck on the Archangel like Lacus Clyne."
"Lacus Clyne is on the Archangel?" Flay asks.
He looks up at her for a moment. "Lacus has been on the Archangel for a few days. You just haven't heard about it, because you aren't stationed on the bridge. I imagine she isn't happy where she is either, but that's just how it is, alright. This is war, and shit happens. No one wants to be here, but that's just how it has to be until the war ends. You can either cry about it, or just be grateful we found you before the oxygen ran out in your escape pod. Do what you want. I don't care."
His arms are crossed as he looks at her with one eye bandaged and the other seemingly staring right through her. Her hands grip the armrests of her chair. Flay almost snaps back at him, but she reminds herself where she is. She has no ground to protest or argue with anyone.
Flay draws in a deep breath as she tries to ignore his words. Her words are tense as she says, "I should change your bandages."
Flay goes to the cabinet. She retrieves scissors, a roll of bandages, and bag of clips. She grabs a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a bag of cotton balls before walking towards Yzak. She attaches all of the items to a nearby table and sits on a stool next to Yzak. She breathes as she retrieves the scissors from the table and steadies her hand.
"Don't cut me!" he snaps.
"I'm not going to cut you, jeez," she snaps back.
Flay takes in another deep breath and cuts the material from his face. She grabs the bandage and pushes it in a disposal bin next to the table. She attaches the scissors back on the table and grabs a cotton ball. She places the cotton ball on top of the bottle and presses a button to dispense the alcohol onto the swap.
Flay is gentle as she places it against his wound. She's careful as she cleans near his stitches and clears the dried blood from his face. His wound is healing so fast - faster than she imagined it would. Flay places the cotton ball in the disposal bin and grabs the bandage roll. She wraps the bandage around Yzak's head until she's completely wrapped the wound. She takes the scissors from the table and cuts the bandage. She returns the scissors to the table. She retrieves a couple of metal clips from their bag and attaches them to Yzak's bandage.
Yzak feels the bandage with one hand. "Doctor Frazier taught you how to do this?"
"On my first day, yes," she says.
"You're not too bad at this," he admits. "Why didn't you go into medical science?"
Flay tries to search her mind for an answer. She had never imagined that she could be a nurse or a doctor. She never imagined she could do anything, but what her father had told her to do. Yzak looks to her, waiting for an answer. She can't bring herself to tell him the truth.
"Your father influenced you," he answers for her.
Flay looks to him. "I mean, he didn't force me. I have...or at least had a fiance. My dad wanted us to get married after we both finished school…"
"You're fifteen years old and your dad already has you set up with some guy," Yzak sighs as he lays back into the palms of his hands. "I didn't quite get you when we first met, but so much of this is starting to make sense."
"I liked Sai…" her voice quivers. "I...really did. I was going to marry him."
"Yet, you never said anything about him till now," Yzak turns over on his side to face Flay. "You can lie to yourself if you want. I don't really give a shit. It's your life. But, at some point, you're going to have to start making your own choices. It's your life to live not your dad's."
"It's not as if I can make my own choices as a hostage," Flay argues.
"At some point, this war is going to end," Yzak says. "You'll end up somewhere. You haven't committed war crimes or really hurt anyone. ZAFT will eventually have to release you."
The door swishes open and Doctor Frazier steps inside with Commander Le Creuset. Flay jerks her eyes away from Yzak as she looks up at the masked commander. There's something about him that is so...off putting. Flay lower her gaze to her lap. She wishes more than anything that she could turn invisible.
"You've already changed Yzak's bandages?" Doctor Frazier chirps. "Thank you, Flay. I'm impressed at how well you're learning."
Flay manages another glance at Commander Le Creuset. He's smiling down at her, and she's suddenly so glad that she can't see his eyes. She forces her gaze over to Yzak.
"I wonder how she'd manage in combat," Commander Le Creuset comments. "She seems to be doing well enough here."
"I don't want to fight anyone, sir," Flay's voice is meak when she speaks.
Yzak looks to her. It's as if he can sense exactly what she is the thinking. He sits up in his bed, and says, "She's too fragile to go into combat, sir. I don't think she'd manage well."
"I was only being hypothetical, Yzak," Commander Le Creuset says. "A Natural would not be able to understand the operating system of a Jinn nor does she have the proper training to fight in a mobile suit."
Flay's fingers lace together in her lap. She feels Commander Le Creuset place his hand on her shoulder. Her stomach feels as if it's twisting into several knots, and she feels as if she's going to vomit.
"I'm glad you are doing so well, Flay," Commander Le Creuset says to her.
"Thank you, sir," her voice is barely above a whisper as she speaks.
Commander Le Creuset withdraws his hand from Flay. She manages a quick glances at him. He's still smiling down at her like a lion might look upon a wounded gazelle. Yzak's brow raises as he looks to Commander Le Creuset. He lowers his eyes towards Flay. It's as if they can share their thoughts in one glance - Flay with her fear and Yzak with his sheer confusion.
Commander Le Creuset turns away from both of them and leaves the room. Flay remains still as she tries to process what exactly has just happened. Yzak still holds a look of confusion on his face, and even Doctor Frazier is oddly quiet.
"Um...I should probably do laundry," Flay announces as she goes to the cabinet to retrieve a bag of sheets. "I'll be right back."
…
AN: On my first watch of the original cut of Gundam SEED, Flay is shown lying in Rau Le Creuset's bed with a shirt on. In the Remastered Version, she's shown lying without clothes on. The scene is open to interpretation, but there some uncomfortable subtext added in the Remaster Cut. So, I chose to make Rau Le Creuset come off as a little bit creepy at the end of the chapter.