Chapter 4

A part of Skipper was sorely tempted to spit in Private's face. He had done this once before, when Hans had him pinned him like this. That had worked out great. But Skipper restrained himself in the interest of good sportsmanship. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't feeling cocky after that last round. So what if he wasn't physically superior to Private anymore? That was only Kowalski's invention. The ability to lead? Now that was something you were born with.

So instead of spitting, Skipper just shoved Private off him and asked Mason if they were ready to start the next round.

"The next challenge will begin in half an hour," Mason replied, "That will give us enough time to set up."

"Set up what, exactly?" Private asked, still glaring fiercely at Skipper.

"Two obstacle courses, each on opposite ends of the zoo. Each competitor will have to guide Rico and Kowalski through in the shortest amount of time with the fewest injuries."

"Wait a minute," Kowalski interjected, "Why are we being dragged into th –?" Rico punched him in the flipper.

"Ok, I accept," said Skipper tentatively, "Now what will be causing these…uh…injuries?"

"We have taken the liberty of removing many explosives and weapons from your HQ." Mason answered, not at all aware of the outrage displayed on Rico's face. "They will be placed inside the obstacle course to add a little extra…excitement." Skipper was calmer now, knowing that his knowledge of the penguins' weapons was much more extensive than Private's. The other penguin, however, appeared just as relaxed.

"I'll be going first." Private said. It was a statement; not a question.

"Why not?" said Mason, "But remember both of you: This is the defining moment of this competition. The winner of this challenge will be the leader of the penguin unit. It's still anyone's game."

Private smirked and rolled his eyes, "Yeah. Right. Now, get over here, you two!" he said, gesturing toward Kowalski and Rico, "Let's talk strategy!"

Kowalski looked at Skipper in askance. The leader shrugged, "Do whatever you want." Despite this, as he watched Kowalski waddle reluctantly into a huddle with Private and Rico, Skipper felt an intense pain in his chest, and he inhaled sharply. It looked wrong, like a piece of artwork that had been scribbled on by a toddler. A team huddle, without the Skipper. It suddenly struck Skipper that, should he lose, he would never be "the Skipper" again. It would become his name, not his position. Who was he, if not the leader? It was a scary thought, but he composed himself. 'I'm going to win' he reassured himself, 'Then Kowalski will fix up Private and it will all be…normal again. Just think. Think and plan. That's all you can do.'

Thinking or planning was incredibly difficult to do while King Julien was yammering in his ear. Private had been in the obstacle course with Kowalski and Rico for only a short time. Skipper knew that each minute was precious, each minute another that he had to beat. It was a stressful experience, made even more so by his proximity to Julien, who seemed in an even chattier mood than usual.

"So, Skipper," Julien began, sipping a smoothie. They were seated in his habitat, as far from Private's obstacle course as possible to ensure that there would be no cheating. Julien was supposed to be there to make sure Skipper wasn't training or hiding weapons, but so far, he had only annoyed the living daylights out of him. "So…" Julien repeated, "If Private wins this competition, he becomes the leader, right?" Skipper didn't bother answering.

"Huh? Huh? Right? Huh?" Julien needled him.

"Shut up, Ringtail."

"Oh, I get it; you are wanting me to be quiet, no?" Julien said, nodding his head, "I can be shutting up whenever I want!"

'Doubt that.' Skipper thought. But all he said was, "Good." But of course, it wasn't long until Julien spoke again.

"So…I have another question…"

"Come on man! What part of 'shut up' don't you understand?"

"It's just one more question, I promise!"

Skipper sighed. "One question…but then no more talking!" Just then, there was a loud explosion, followed by a scream. Kowalski? Rico? Not Private. Definitely not Private. It surprised Skipper how sure he was of the sound of Private's scream. He hadn't been paying attention on purpose. Whoever it belonged to, the scream – as well as the explosion – was just another reminder that Skipper was about to go on a dangerous mission. Julien of course, was oblivious as always.

"My question is," Julien continued, "What is the deal with the cute guy? Private? You know…" Julien gestured to his head.

"What do you think, Ringtail?" Skipper said, irritated, "One of Kowalski's inventions went wrong…again!"

"Oh," Julien said. He looked like he was thinking, which was a rare expression to cross his face, "I would not have guessed that." Skipper turned his head toward Julien swiftly.

"And why not?"

"Well, it's just cause…you know…you're always slapping him around all the time," Julien explained, "If dat were me, I would have tried to de-throne you too! Except that you do not have a throne because you are not the king." There were a million ways Skipper could have responded to that; a million comebacks, insults, witty remarks. Instead, he said nothing. Not an 'I'm ignoring you' kind of nothing. The kind that indicates that the other person has won.

And Skipper suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Private's actions weren't justified, were they? Was he, Skipper, at fault? Skipper shook his head to clear it. This was not the time to think of this. His entire team was counting on him to win this next challenge. From across the zoo, there were loud cheers and clapping. Skipper took this as a sign that they had made it through the obstacle course, and it would soon be his turn. Someone – Marlene? – shouted "Five minutes!" Skipper mulled this over. Five minutes. He shrugged. He could probably beat that.

Moments later, Mason, Private, Rico, and Kowalski came to fetch Skipper from Julien's habitat. Rico and Kowalski looked shell-shocked and were covered in soot, but Private was relatively clean and looked like he'd just been crowned King of the World.

"You're up," Private said in a singsong voice, "Good luck." Skipper opened his beak to give a smart retort, but closed in again, thinking of a better one.

"Have fun with Ringtail, Private!" As Skipper waddled away with Mason and the rest of his team, he couldn't help chuckling a little. It gave him some satisfaction.

Skipper's obstacle course hidden by a large sheet, a penguin-sized hole providing the only insight to the dangers within. It was pretty much just black in there. The course was right next to Marlene's habitat, and as Skipper prepared his men with some last-minute drills and exercises, Marlene kept up a steady stream of begging for them not to blow up her home.

"I mean, I know you don't really have a choice or anything, but like, if Rico needs to regurgitate something, can it be a sword or a baseball bat or something? Does it always have to be, you know, bombs with you guys?" Skipper told her that he would do his best, all the while thinking that as much as he liked Marlene, too much destruction was the last thing on his mind. For some reason, no matter what sort of damage his team created, it was usually gone by the next week.

In no time at all, it was time to start. Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski got down on one knee at the entrance to the obstacle course, poised to run at a second's notice.

"Now remember all of you," Mason said authoritatively, "Keep this a fair contest. I don't want any cheating.

"But remember," he continued, "This final challenge will determine the winner of the contest as well as the new leader of the penguins." Skipper had stopped counting the number of times this fact had been shoved in his face.

"Are you ready?" said Mason. Skipper nodded at his men, who returned the gesture. They looked nervous.

"Set!" This is it, Skipper told himself.

"Go!" Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski plunged single-file through the hole, but stopped as soon as they had passed the sheet to survey the situation. There wasn't much to see. It was still pitch-black.

"Rico! Flashlights!" Skipper ordered. There was a yurk sound to his right and the flashlight landed in his palm, already spreading its beam of light around the area. Nothing. Just the zoo, looking normal as ever. No ropes to climb, no pits of venomous snakes to avoid, no weapons of mass destruction to be deactivated. Nothing.

"Kowalski? Was it like this in Private's course?" Skipper asked.

"No," said Kowalski, looking equally perplexed, "There was a minefield just about now." All three of them looked toward the ground skeptically.

"Rico!" Skipper said, "Pebbles!" Rico launched several small stones onto the ground in front of them and they braced themselves for an explosion. Instead there was only silence.

"So, we've ruled out a minefield," Skipper said, "Kowalski, give me some other options."

"Uh…Skipper?" Kowalski said carefully, "They, uh, they took my options clipboard. They wanted to make sure that it was your leadership guiding us through, not my options. Not that I think that!" he added hastily.

"Right," Skipper said, like he'd known this all along, "Keep moving men. But slowly…and look around you…make sure we don't have any nasty surprises." Rico took the lead so Skipper could watch their backs.

They had only been inching forward for a few seconds when Skipper's flashlight beam hit upon a thin reflective surface near the ground. Skipper realized what it was a split second before Rico's foot hit the tripwire.

"Hit the deck!" he cried, and the three penguins fell to the ground as the battering ram swung out of the darkness and whipped the backs of their necks teasingly. Then nothing.

"Okay," said Skipper slowly, straightening up apprehensively, "How're you boys doing?" They didn't answer, but stood up as well. "Good. Let's keep moving." Skipper said, "More carefully, now, if you please?" he added testily. They had barely been walking for 10 seconds when rocket launchers positioned on the sides of the obstacle course shot explosives around them. Through complex evasive maneuvers, they made it through alright, despite the attack lasting a full minute. It wasn't much worse than what they had experience during their training sessions. Skipper was confident that he had this competition in the bag.

When the penguins had crossed a small minefield which they swept in less than a minute's time, they came to a high wooden wall, hastily constructed, with nails sticking out here and there. Skipper looked on either side of the wall and found that there was enough space for them to walk through between the right side of the wall and the red line that indicated the obstacle course boundary. But it was too perfect, too easy, and Skipper knew that, if they were to pass through the sides, they'd get some sort of attack launched at them. He realized that their only choice would be to climb the side of the wall.

"Rico, grappling hook," Skipper ordered. Rico regurgitated the tool, and Skipper shot the hook to the top of the wall, trailing a cable behind it. He gave it a sharp tug to see if it would hold, and there was suddenly a loud CRACK. The grappling hook clattered to the ground at Skipper's feet, with several pieces of wood attached to the spikes.

"The wall…isn't that stable, Skipper." Kowalski said. Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Really? I had no idea." Skipper scanned the wall, trying to figure out a way up. Then he noticed the nails. The loose ones, that stuck out a few inches here and there. But they were in odd places. It was clear the wall was made out of several thin panels nailed together, but some of the nails…were not on the seams of the panels. They were meant as footholds.

"Well, it looks like we're doing this the old fashioned way, men!" he said. Placing one flipper up on a nail about an inch above his head, he pulled his feet up onto another one, grinning. Rico and Kowalski followed him, and the three of them climbed swiftly. They were nearly halfway to the top when Skipper stopped suddenly. The smile dropped from his beak. Was that…a grinding sound he heard?

'Not again' he thought. His second thought was for his team. "Stop!" he shouted. But Rico and Kowalski were almost to the top of the wall before they stopped.

"Wha?" Rico asked. Then he saw the spikes.

Directly under the wall, three rows of five inch long razor-sharp points, gleaming maliciously in the moonlight. Probably another three rows on the other side of the wall too. They were trapped.

"What's your plan Skipper?" Kowalski said in a panic.

"Don't have one!" Skipper replied.

"What?" Kowalski shouted.

"Look, just hang on, alright? I'm working on it!" Skipper said exasperatedly. He looked to the top of the wall. It was hard to see because of its height but, yes, the wall was thick enough for them to stand on the top of it they were careful. Then they could launch themselves off the other side past the spikes.

"I have a plan!" Skipper announced. After he'd explained, he added, "Keep climbing and don't look down." He shouldn't have said that. Whenever someone says 'Don't look down', that's the first thing they do. Kowalski glanced down and shrieked.

"Keep going!" Skipper roared. He was still below Kowalski, but gaining on him. Skipper swung easily from one nail to another, "Just keep moving!" But Kowalski was frozen to the wall. There was a creaking sound, and Skipper shone his flashlight beam onto the source of the sound: Kowalski's feet. With horror, he realized that the nail he was standing on was beginning to bend. Kowalski realized it too and stared desperately at Skipper's face. "Skip –"

The nail gave way. Kowalski became a black blur as he fell to the ground. Skipper reached out his flipper, but he was too slow, too slow! Skipper cringed as Kowalski screamed.

"Kowalski!" Skipper shouted. There was a pause. Skipper didn't dare open his eyes.

"I'm ok!" Skipper could have laughed with relief. Kowalski was lying just an inch past the spikes, but Skipper's flashlight revealed that there was some blood on both his back and two spikes. He must have grazed them when he fell.

"I'll be right down!" Skipper promised. "Rico? Uh…mattress?" He wasn't totally sure Rico had it in him (literally), but sure enough, from above a mattress fell on top of the spikes, cushioning them. 'Why didn't I think of this before?' Skipper thought as he launched himself off the wall. He bounced easily off the soft surface and landed next to Kowalski.

"Oh, ok, you're fine. This is just a little scratch," Skipper said in relief, examining his comrade's wound, "We'll patch you up when we get back to HQ. I think we've still got some Band-Aids left from the last time something in your lab exploded. 'Course they're probably the Hello Kitty™ kind. Now, c'mon, we still need to climb the wall." Skipper had only walked a few paces when he realized Kowalski wasn't coming along with him.

"Come on!" he demanded.

"Just give me a moment…to catch my breath." Skipper tapped his foot impatiently and looked up at the clock-tower. Three o' clock. When did they start the course? Skipper hadn't checked.

"Move!" Skipper hissed at Kowalski, "Move!" Kowalski shot him a puzzled look, but slowly, painstakingly, stood up and gingerly climbed onto the mattress, and then the wall. Skipper felt guilty that he had snapped like that, and resolved to apologize to him the minute they had announced his victory. Speaking of which...

"Don't stop climbing, men!" he ordered sternly. The mattress was enough to quell their fear of heights as well as their fear of impalement, and they quickly pulled themselves to the top of the wall. While Kowalski massaged and probed his stinging back, Rico regurgitated another mattress to cover the spikes on the other side.

"Jump!" Skipper commanded. The mattress squealed as the weight of three penguins hit it, but it held up, and none of the spikes popped through. They could now see the finish line. It wasn't hard to spot since apparently, no one on the design staff was very creative. The end was simply a large banner with the word "Finnish" on it. The spelling didn't really matter, as none of them could read, but they knew what it said. On the other side were the zoo animals, squinting in at them in the darkness.

"Almost there, boys. How you holding out, Kowalski?" Skipper asked.

"Fine Skipper," Kowalski said earnestly, "Let's move!" He was about to belly slide when Skipper lifted a flipper.

"How's about we watch where we step, eh Kowalski? Wouldn't want anyone else getting hurt, now would we?" he said with a grin. Rico launched a few pebbles into the air, and they were rewarded with jets of fire shooting out at them from every angle.

"Evasives!" The team slid and jumped through the flames. It was pretty hot, and a few of Skipper's feathers were scorched, but all in all, they made it out okay. They crossed the finish line less than 30 seconds after spotting it. Skipper exchanged a few high fives with his men, but his heart wasn't really in it. In fact, Skipper felt like his heart had abandoned his chest entirely and was now content to beat loudly in his throat. He kept waiting for someone to call out his time, to tell him that he'd won. Then Julien entered the circle of zoo animals with Private, still smiling smugly, without the slightest hint of anxiety. 'He won't be smiling for long,' Skipper thought.

Mason cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the competitors of this challenge. This has certainly been an exciting opportunity for us all –"

"Get to the point!" Private yelled impatiently, sparking giggles from the gorillas. Skipper secretly agreed with him. Kowalski and Rico gave Skipper some weak smiles, and Rico tried to give him a thumbs-up. As it could have just as easily been a middle finger, it didn't really do much to comfort Skipper.

"Oh. All right then," Mason said, slightly taken aback, "Without further ado, the winner of the competition and the leader of the penguin unit is…"