Chapter Four

Jane woke startled, his body shaking as he did, sending a new rush of pain through his head and chest. "Lisbon?" he cried out without even being fully alert. "Lisbon!"

"I'm here, Jane," she said, grasping his left hand. "We're both still here."

He tried to get up but Cho gently kept him lying down. "I've had …" Jane swallowed, trying to suck in air. "I've had the worst nightmare. We were on a plane, there was … there was an explosion and …"

"Jane, that wasn't a dream," Lisbon spoke gently. "We're still on the plane. Help is on the way. You've been badly injured."

Jane stared confused at her, not understanding what she was saying. "Injured?"

"Yes, you have to stay calm. Help is on the way."

"Where are we?"

"Do you remember the car exploding?" she whispered softly. "You were hit by a piece of metal. You broke some ribs. We are in the desert."

Jane leaned his head down on the blankets as he closed his eyes. "Why is it so dark in here?" Then he looked at her. "Lisbon, is that you?"

Jane's confusion startled Lisbon. She didn't like the tone of his voice at all. Somehow it felt off. "Cho, turn on one of the lights," Lisbon said, frowning. Cho walked back to the front and switched on the interior light. Lisbon stared shocked at Jane's bluish lips. He was taking small, intense breaths, his chest moving oddly when he did.

"What is it?" Cho asked, staying with Jane as Lisbon rushed forward and grabbed the headset, switching from intercom to a one on one conversation.

"Is Dr. Wills still there?" she asked trembling.

"I'm here, Miss Lisbon," he replied immediately.

"His lips are turning blue and he's making these strange sounds when he breathes. And he's out of it, he doesn't remember much and talks nonsense. Is that normal?"

There was a silence on the other side and then Dr. Wills said. "Is his fever still high?"

"Higher. He feels very warm to the touch."

"I'm afraid it's getting worse then. It sounds like he's suffering from ARDS. It means that he might go into respiratory failure. Is Mr. Cho still there?"

Lisbon waved for Cho to come up front. He took the second headset. "Right here."

"Was there a respiratory kit inside the First Aid box?"

"I don't know, what does it look like?"

"Find a box with a breathing tube in it and something that looks like a small hard plastic bag."

Lisbon waited impatiently as Cho rummaged through the gear and then returned. "No, there isn't."

Dr. Wills sighed. "I was afraid about that."

"Why? What's going on?"

"If I'm correct and Mr. Jane is suffering from ARDS, he might stop breathing. If that is the case, you'll need to manually resuscitate him. If he were in the hospital right now, he would get a breathing tube in his throat to relieve the pressure off his lungs. Basically his lungs are shutting down."

"How long does he have?" Lisbon asked fearfully.

"I can't predict that. If he's strong, he might last for six to eight hours. But …"

Lisbon and Cho looked at each other, knowing they might lose the battle after all. "No," Lisbon said sharply. "I won't let that happen. We'll talk to him, keep him alert, his mind off things. Jane will NOT die."

Cho nodded determinedly. Both agents looked up startled as the lights on the control panel started to blink. "What's happening?" Lisbon asked, terrified they would be left alone in the dark.

"We're running out of fuel."

"We can't lose the radio, Cho."

"I know."

Frustrated Cho threw down the headset, pushed open the aircraft's door and exited. Lisbon could see him opening the small cargo compartments, looking for something – anything to help them. Extra barrels of fuel, an emergency radio, anything.

Now I know what it feels like to be blind, Lisbon thought as she shut off the compartment light again. The flashlight they had placed here and there illuminated the area in a ghostly manner. She knelt down by Jane, opened up her suitcase and tore up a white shirt. Then she remembered the drinks Mr. Richfield had spoken of.

She rummaged through his stash, finding four bottles of water in a small refrigator that no longer worked. She took one out, screwed it open and dipped water over the cloth. Then she placed the cooling cloth over his forehead, wiping away beads of sweat. He moaned as she touched him, opening his eyes and staring at her. He was completely out of it, she noticed. Pain and fear had taken completely over. This was no longer Patrick Jane staring at her but a man in distress.

"Hey Jane," she said softly. "Do you remember that time when we lost our car in San Francisco and spent hours in the heat searching for it? How stupid was that huh?"

He didn't reply but she could hear him listening to her voice, remembering who she was and what they had been through together.

"I'm still not sure who was the bad guy in that story, you know? Van Pelt swore she had memorized the street's name but of course she couldn't know that there was a Green Village Street and a Green Town Street about two blocks away from each other."

Cho walked back in empty-handed, listening to Lisbon's gentle voice as she continued, "I remember how pissed off you were. You swore you never lost your car and vowed to teach us your car-memory game. But you never got around to that, did you?"

Jane's eyes closed as he listened to her, his rapid breathing becoming calmer.

"Keep going," Cho whispered as he came closer. "It helps."

Lisbon dipped another piece of cloth into water and wet Jane's face. "And then you swore you would never drive with us again. But then of course the next day you'd forgotten that promise already because we'd gotten that new SUV and you loved the leather upholstery."

Jane nodded quietly, remembering it all.

"You know, you've always surprised me with your mentalist tricks, you know? From the first moment you set foot at the CBI, it was so clear to us that you had a special skill. I've wondered about that so many times. We make a good team, don't we? It would be a waste to let that slip away."

"Tired, Teresa." Jane muttered, so quietly she could barely hear. "So tired of it all."

"You'll get better before you know it. I've seen you do some amazing things before. You've survived so much. This is just a walk in the park for you," Lisbon smiled calmly, soothingly.

"N – No … Tired of the … the battle."

Lisbon held her breath, knowing what he was referring to. "Well, if you die on me tonight, Red John wins. You can't let that happen."

"You – You'll take o – o – over."

Lisbon wet a third cloth and placed it at Jane's lips, wetting them gently as he opened his feverish eyes and stared at her. "No, I won't," she said. "I refuse to take over. It's your battle, Jane. That's why you've always said and I'm keeping you on that. So stop talking like that because I won't listen."

Jane smiled wearily. "Y – yes … boss."

Lisbon leaned back heavily and rubbed her face exhausted. Glancing at her watch she noticed it was nearly 10 p.m. In her mindset it felt like a century had gone by. They had been here for hours and who knew how much longer it would still take.

Cho walked up the front, talking quietly to Mike for a few minutes. Then he turned off the radio again and returned to them. "They're combing every inch of this damned desert," he said. "It can't be too long now."

Lisbon didn't speak a word, realizing she was losing all hope. She felt defeated.

"Jane, just rest a bit," she said gently. "We're right here if you need us."

Jane didn't react. She knew he was lingering between sleep and awareness, holding on.

Lisbon and Cho stepped outside in the cold night air, relieved to be out of their claustrophobic environment once more. "If they don't find us in a couple of hours, I'm going to head out and go find them," Cho said.

"That's very brave but also useless, Cho. They know where we are within a ten mile radius. That means, if we calculated it right, they needed about 2,5 – 3 hours to drive to this area and then start the search, which means that - if they coordinate the search correctly, which I believe they will – they'll find us in less than three hours. They know these parts better than we do. The best thing we can do right now is to stay put and wait."

"I'm going crazy feeling this helpless," Cho confessed. "I'd rather be stuck in a cage with one of those mountain lions than to just sit here and wait. It all seems so senseless. This entire evening feels like a bad dream."

"You know," Lisbon spoke quietly, "I always thought Jane would die a heroic death, saving someone's life or during his quest to find Red John. But to watch him die like this, in such a stupid way, knowing that we are to blame for it … No, that doesn't make any sense at all."

"It's not your fault, Lisbon. Jane knows that. It was an accident."

"Jane asked us – no, practically begged us – not to go down there and we did."

"Because it's your job and he knows that. You wouldn't be who you are had you not landed there to see if you could help out. You would have felt guilty for ignoring it, wondering forever what you could have done had there been real people in distress. There was no way you could have known that they were already dead. Jane doesn't blame you, you know?"

"But Richfield is dead and Jane is about to die, that's the painful reality," Lisbon said hoarsely. "If only we could turn back time."

"We live every day with the reality of our actions, boss. Whatever we do bears consequences. Jane's search for Red John also had consequences. If he had let it lie, people wouldn't have died. But do you blame him for that? No, because we all know that this is who he is and what he does. You didn't blame yourself when he digested those Belladonna leaves because that was an accident. So don't blame yourself now for doing your job. If you do blame yourself, then find another, quiet job in some little town somewhere and ignore the fact that there are dozens of murderers out there that you have caught."

Lisbon stared in shock at Cho. Then she smiled wearily. "Thanks Cho, I guess I needed that."

"Yeah, you did. Now let's go back inside and not give up. We're not the ones hurting here. If we give up, then so will he."

Lisbon wiped the tears rolling over her face with her jacket sleeve and turned to the left, only to find car lights shining upon her.

"They're here. Cho, they're here!" she almost yelled it.

Cho narrowed his eyes, staring at the single car heading over the road towards them as a very cold feeling of dread washed over him.