Euphemisms
AN: This one's long, sorry!
Four: Sai should never be allowed around children. Ever.
"Haruno-san, I need green!" Cried a little girl that was sitting across from her, holding up her paper in order to fully demonstrate the absolute need for green to complete the masterpiece.
Sakura sighed inwardly, but smiled at the girl, "Jin, you have green." She explained calmly, pointing at the small paint container located by the girl's elbow.
The girl, Jin, made a face, "But Kenji used it!" She pouted, gesturing towards the boy sitting next to her.
Kenji scowled at his sister, "Well you used my red!"
"I needed it to show the guy's heart exploding!" Protested Jin haughtily, shaking her finger painting. It depicted a ninja with a kunai lodged in the chest.
Sakura watched the girl with a weary eye. Better watch out for that one in the future…
The medic nin's shift at the hospital had concluded earlier than she had expected, and since Sakura had a bit of excess time on her hands, she had decided to spend it at the hospital's daycare center. Currently, she was finger painting with the twins that were there while their mother, a nurse, was working.
"Haruno-san, can't I just use your finger paint?" Sulked Jin, puppy dog eyes in effect, "Please?"
Sakura just shook her head, using the back of her hand to slide the small pot across the table. Her own fingers were coated in yellow and blue. She cringed as she looked down at her own picture, noticing sadly that it wasn't much better than the six year olds'.
She was surprised when she heard the door to the daycare room suddenly open, and she turned in her seat, suppressing a groan when she realized who it was.
"Hello Hag," greeted Sai cheerfully, "Hanging around people with the same mental capacity as yourself?"
She rolled her eyes, "What is it Sai?"
"You are late," he offered simply.
She blinked, looking at the clock that hung on the wall, "Late for what?"
"Naruto-kun invited us for ramen, and since you made a social promise, that means that you are required to attend," Sai simplified for her.
She swore under her breath as the memory returned, and she sighed softly, looking at the twins, "I have to go, but I'll be back tomorrow." She said contritely.
"But Haruno-san, you haven't even seen our pictures yet!" Whined Jin, who now had several green spots across her face.
Sakura was about to apologize, but it was cut short when Kenji stood up and went over to Sai, tugging on his pant leg.
"Do you like my picture?" He asked him, lifting up the paper.
Sai stared at him in confusion, before his fingers grabbed the painting from Kenji, lifting it up. As Sakura saw his critical examination, she felt something sink in her stomach. Oh no.
"It's poor quality," Sai said, turning it to the side, "Your lines are uneven and the coloring is sloppy. I'm not sure whether you're trying to draw a house or some sort of aquatic creature."
Kenji's eyes went positively round and watery, "It's a kitten!" He cried.
Sakura paled, "Sai!"
He ignored her, and stared at Kenji in bemusement, "Are kittens normally green with six legs on the left side?"
The little boy stood up on his tiptoes and violently snatched the paper away, retreating to the table and sitting with his head down, sniffling occasionally. Jin, however, seemed to think that this strange new man was immensely entertaining.
She stood up, raising her hand, "Look at mine, weird guy!"
Sai smiled and stared at the drawing, "The body of the ninja is disproportioned, and when you stab a man in the heart, the blood spray is a considerably lighter color-"
"Sai!" Sakura tried again as she tried desperately to console Kenji by telling him that it was a lovely green, six-legged cat.
"It also seems that your male ninja is lacking a penis," Sai finished up, handing Jin back her painting.
"SAI!" Sakura's patience had severely dwindled, "What are you doing?"
Sai blinked, "Did I say something wrong?"
She stood up, multi-toned hands fisted on either side of her hip as she gestured to Kenji, "You can't tell children that!"
He continued to stare at her in confusion, "Why not?"
"Because it hurts their feelings!"
Sai looked at Kenji, then to Jin, and back to Sakura, "But they asked me my opinion. According to my books, it's wrong to lie-"
"It's okay to lie to kids!" Sakura blurted without thinking, then immediately groaned.
"Why?" Sai asked, trying to process this new information.
She took a deep breath, "It's alright to lie to kids about stuff like this," she amended, gesturing to Kenji's deformed painting, "Because their abilities aren't developed fully yet."
Sai then noticed that Sakura also had a painting, "Then would it be alright for me to tell you that I think your waterfall is the most inaccurate depiction I have ever seen?"
Kenji, who had been trying not to cry, looked up at Sakura then, his sniffling receding.
"No!" She said.
"Why? Are you not old now?"
Sakura rubbed circles around her temples, little streaks of blue being left behind, "It's still insensitive-"
"But your painting is simplistic," He said levelly.
Kenji wiped his eyes and started to giggle, Jin picked up on it and started to laugh too.
Sakura silently counted to ten, realizing that the kids were starting to brighten up at her expense. She exhaled, "Sai, why don't I just meet you and Naruto at the ramen stand?" She asked with a forced amount of brevity.
Sai smiled, "Alright, goodbye Ugly!" He said, as if the entire bizarre exchange hadn't occurred, swerving on his heel and disappearing through the doorway.
A bit frazzled, Sakura slumped into her seat, eying the 'most inaccurate depiction' that she had painted. Kenji poked her in the arm.
"Haruno-san?"
"What is it, Kenji?"
"That's a mean man." He paused, "But he's funny, because he called you Ugly."
Sakura felt her lips purse in mock annoyance, "Well, thanks Kenji."
"Haruno-san?" This time it was from Jin.
"Yes, Jin?"
"What's a penis?"