Chapter 4!! Hope you like it xD

Still no lemon... sorry!! I'll make sure to have one next time ^^

ITADAKIMASU! ~

Ayase felt guilty when he arrived at the house. He had just left Someya without giving him a warning… but it wasn't his fault! It was all Raito's fault… he sat down on the couch, slowly removing his hair ribbon and trembled.

Was Kanou really about to marry her? Than why was he there? What was going on? Something inside was hurting. His stomach? Shit. In a rush he got up, running to the bathroom.

Damn, he hated this. With a sad face he sat down next to the flushing toilet. He felt a tear run down his cheek. What was happening to him? He sighed deeply. He was sure he would puke again but he held it back because he didn't see a normal reason for it to happen. He pulled his knees close to his face and leaned against the wall. He felt the warm tears through his pants and sobbed to his own legs. Why? Why did Kanou hurt him so much?

"Ayase?!" after hearing his name he looked up with a shock, quickly wiping his tears of. "Are you here?! Ayase?!!" with a loud smack the door of the toilet opened. A cold breeze entered the room so Ayase grabbed on himself tighter. Kanou kneeled in front of him and embraced him so tightly he couldn't breath for one moment. "I was so worried! Why did you just disappear?! Someya called in a worry!! She saw you crying and you just ran off! What happened?!" Ayase just trembled once. "Huh? Ayase? Is something wrong? Answer me, damn it!"

"N…" the boy started, avoiding eye contact with the man.

"N? What n? Tell me!!"

"NO!!" with a hard punch he hit the man away. It wasn't just any slap in the face… he hit the man straight against his nose with a fist. With a smack he fell on the floor. The boy quickly got up, feeling both proud and scared about hitting the man. His fist felt like it was about to burst. Not even the man's body was strong, it was like he even trained his nose. Ayase blushed at the sight of the man. He groaned softly while sitting up, both his hands covering his nose.

"…Oww shit…" when he removed his hands Ayase noticed his nose bleeding. He trembled again and took a step back. The man looked up. Rage overflowing in his eyes. "I don't think you have a decent reason to do this… in fact…"

Kanou stood up slowly, wiping his nose with his sleeve, but even though he did that effort the bleeding did not stop. Ayase took steps back, closer to the door, which was still open. He felt fear crawling up his back.

"You don't have any fucking right to be hitting me…" in a fast reflexion Ayase turned around. Fear became to much. But when he started to run he fell down on the floor with a loud smack, followed by the man placing himself on top of the boy.

"N…No… get off!!" though he did a lot of effort the man did not move. The scare became worse. He hit the Kanou on every place he could reach. He was bleeding and the tone in his voice was… unmerciful. Ayase started to cry because of the pressure.

"If anyone hits…" the man said while taking both of the boy's wrists to stop him from struggling. "…It should be the master hitting the pet." Ayase felt a drop of blood dropping down on his cheek. He trembled again.

"…Don't hurt me…" he softly whispered, terrified of the man above him. But to his big surprise he heard a deep sigh and his wrists were released. The man lay himself completely on the floor and closed his eyes.

"What happened now?" he asked, eyes still closed. Ayase was quiet for one moment, for the man looked peaceful right after being so angry with him.

"…I'm angry with you!" the boy brought out quickly.

"Yes, I felt that. My question is: why?" he opened his eyes and sat up, leaning against the wall behind him. Ayase noticed the sleeve with blood again.

"…I met someone today…" he started. Kanou gave him an asking (and still angry…) look.

"And that person told you to break my nose?" he added sarcastically.

"No! You're not listening to me!"

"Well, I don't really have a reason, right?! You hit my fucking face!!"

"… No… I just…"

"Softly tickled it, which made it bleed by accident?" the man sounded even more sarcastic. Ayase's body was filled with rage. He didn't even listen!

"Just stop it!"

"Stop what, does it annoy you?"

"Yes!"

"Perfect, that's what I was aiming for…" that did it. Ayase got up in rage, walking to the bedroom door.

"You know what! She can have you!" he said and with that he smacked the door in front of the man's eyes. Unbelievable! And he was supposed to be the grown-up in this house?! Ayase dropped himself on the bed, sighing deeply. He wasn't able to talk about the marriage.

Kanou was confused. 'she can have you'? who can have him? For what? Why? He sighed deeply. The boy had every reason to walk angry into the bedroom, but there's no way he can be able to punch him! It was like a reversed world! Like… the dog taking the human out for a walk? He grinned at that thought and stood up slowly. His head was spinning. Okay, he was this big, muscular person who seemed never to be injured… but the nose was his sensitive spot. Somehow the boy had injured him more than any person in the world. Ayase was stronger than he thought for his nose hurt for real. Which meant… he had really pissed him off.

The room started to shimmer. He knew he had to put on the lights again but somehow he felt lazy and tired. Also guilt joined these feelings. He knew he had any right to hit the man and anyone who knows his story would admit he was right but… hitting Kanou-san felt terrible. He had lied to him, used his body, sometimes whispering an unreal 'I love you' in his ear. How could he love someone else when he was about to marry in two months? His stomach started to ache again but he ignored it completely.

He never had this feeling before. Was this feeling love-sick? Heartbroken? No it couldn't be! He declined homosexuality so much! How could he ever fall in love with a man! And not just a man, a man who raped him several times and uses him as a toy! How can anyone fall in love with someone like that? Kanou was a monster. A monster with cruel manners and a money fetish. But at the same time the most wonderful person Ayase had ever met…

"…Ayase?" the door slowly opened and Ayase sat up quickly after hearing his name being spoken out loud by the familiar voice. Kanou slowly entered the room, probably afraid of any surprise attack appearing from the boy. But Ayase wasn't planning on doing anything.

"Kanou-san…" when the man noticed it was safe he sat down next to the boy on the bed. Silence followed after that moment. The blond boy was scared. They were inside of the bedroom and somehow he knew he needed to be 'punished' for making his nose bleed, so he moved a bit away from the man.

"How's your nose… Kanou-san?" he softly asked. The man smiled.

"Fine, thank you. You sure know how to punch…" he grinned at that and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry, I just…" Ayase was silenced after that. Should he just start about he marriage?

"What happened, who did you meet?" Kanou helped him, smiling sweetly. Maybe he wanted to show the boy he wouldn't do anything, so Ayase moved back, closer to him. The bigger person rested his arm around the boy's shoulder.

"I met Raito-san…" the man's eyes looked sort off shocked for Ayase spoke out that name. how did that boy know Raito?

"Raito Kaoruko?" the boy nodded as a reply. That made everything clear. That okama had invited his niece.

"Are you getting married, Kanou-san?" the tears were appearing in the blue eyes. Kanou wanted to have an answer but had no more vocabulary to formulate one. Ayase started to cry for real. "So why did you never tell me? Why do I have to hear it from someone else? Why did you buy me? Why do you use me if you could have had your fiancé for… seventeen years? Why do I sit here if there's such a beautiful female angel waiting for you…?"

"…Ayase listen…" Kanou started but the blond boy pressed his finger against the man's lips. He forced a smile on his mouth.

"She has a lot more to offer than me… she has money, she's female… it would bind the Somuku and Kaoruko family once and for all. It would be perfect. She would be perfect." Kanou slapped away the finger on his mouth.

"She has nothing to offer me… compared to you… you're everything to me. You're my beautiful angel..." he said.

"Don't say that… don't lie to me…"

"I'm not lying! What did she tell you?!"

"The truth." the man silenced after that.

"Look… it's true that dad arranged that marriage when I was 10 years old. She was just born and I had to… welcome her to this world. At that moment Someya's dad arranged it with my old man. It's not that I wanted it… I just had to."

"…Kanou-san…"

"And at first. I admit that I didn't mind. I needed to have children, so did she one day. So why not with a person who has the status and the money? But…years passed and as I became older I wanted to meet my bride at least once. I was like… 18? 20? Don't know… but every girl I had had up until then did never satisfy my lust. They were rich. Pretty, gorgeous even and well…" he didn't say the word out loud but made a strange move with his hands which formed circles over his chest (bigcircles…). Ayase nodded slowly and stared at the man.

"Anyway… when I tried to meet her I wasn't able to. She never wanted to see me, at least, that's what her body guards said. So… I tried to reach her with violence. Which was impossible. I lost." Ayase was stunned. This man lost? Kanou-san? So he even went to her bodyguards? How brave…

"After… I felt heartbroken for the first time. It rained. I was wounded and unable to walk, so I sat down… in an ally. Dark, cold, rainy, full of garbage but… good enough to rest for a wounded person. And then…" he was silenced, looking at the boy. The blue orbs looked eager to hear more but he couldn't tell… the boy had to remember himself.

"Then what?" the blond boy helped, eager to let the man speak. The man grinned, petting the boy's golden hair.

"Let's just say, then I fell in love again." he answered. "Not with her. I didn't want to see her anymore. She was history to me. I had found someone else so… forget her! Still, I completely forgot to destroy that document and I'm unable too since she has all of it. Everything. Even my autograph. The papers…" he sighed deeply. It was frustrating, not able to see his stuff. Normally he had everything within his reach, everything taken care off. But only his wedding documents were with his fiancé.

"So… you don't love her…?" the boy whispered, giving the man a look of hope. The man smiled.

"Nope! My heart belongs to you!" he said, which made the boy blush, but feel warm inside. The sick feeling left and another feeling reached his stomach. Butterflies? Yes, it must be. A smile appeared on his face and he let the man hold him tightly, hoping the butterflies were reaching him too. When all of a sudden the feeling stopped. He sat on something hard… he lifted up his right leg and reached for the small plastic thing under him. The earpieces were dangling under it. He completely forgot! The MD! He gave Kanou a look, who blushed heavily at seeing the MD.

"I forgot…" Ayase said. "What was it doing under your pillow?" he gave Kanou a disappointed look. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"No! No no! Don't even think that! It was just… we haven't been doing anything for a long time so… it came in handy."

"Handy?" Ayase asked in full surprise, not really understanding what the man meant.

"Easy… releasing… you know…" he kissed the boy's cheek softly, holding him closer. "If your not around… I have to do it." he bit the boy's earlobe.

"Kanou-san! No don't! Not now! I am angry with you!" the man sighed deeply. Not again…

-- Yukiya Ayase & Somuku Kanou - Closer (Ne-Yo) --

I can feel him on my skin.

I can taste him upon my tounge.

He's the sweetest taste of sin.

The more I get the more I want.

He wants to own me...

Come closer...

Come closer!

And I just can't pull myself away, under a spell I can't break!

I just can't stop.

And I just can't break myself no way but I don't want to escape!

I just can't stop.

Okay... about the songs... I'm out of inspiration! xD

Love ya! ~ x

Sosise ~