Countdown

(To the Best Day of Her Life)

It was five years since the Fourth Shinobi War had ended and Sasuke had finally returned to Konoha. Although it had been rocky at first, life had slowly returned to normal. Sasuke had been pardoned by Tsunade, and had rejoined the shinobi ranks of Konoha. He was working his way through the ranks quickly, currently a Jonin like Sakura and Naruto, but hoped to make his way into ANBU. Sakura was very proud of him and how hard he had worked to regain his place. Sasuke was even slowly coming to terms with the idea of taking orders from Naruto someday, whenever Tsunade decided to finally step down and hand the title of Hokage to Naruto.

It was about a year ago when Sasuke had finally come around to returning Sakura's romantic feelings. Their relationship was slow and tentative at first, and Sakura had found that Sasuke had surprisingly little experience with romance. It wasn't that she thought he'd been gallivanting around with women while he'd been away from Konoha, but because he had always been so popular Sakura assumed he would just know certain things, like to bring her flowers occasionally or that there were other things they could do on a date besides have dinner.

Eventually, Sakura realized the sad truth that Sasuke had no one to learn these things from as he grew up, and Sakura had taken it upon herself to take charge in their relationship from there on out. She had been patient with him, though maybe a little bossy at times, planning all of their dates and helping him learn how to date. He seemed content to follow her lead, and Sakura was doubly pleased when he started bringing her flowers every week.

Sakura was curled comfortably into Sasuke's side, his arm slung across her shoulders as they watched some mindless television. He was leaving on a mission tomorrow, and Sakura had requested they spend a quiet evening together. But, something nagged at her and she sighed, fidgeting.

Really, it was Sasuke who weighed on her thoughts. He'd been acting strange the last few days, and tonight he seemed especially distant. His thoughts were clearly somewhere else and something was bothering him, which really hindered their ability to have a nice evening together.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" she finally asked, careful to keep an even tone.

"It's nothing, Sakura," was his blunt reply. Closed off. Distant.

She frowned.

"It's not nothing—I can tell something's bothering you," she tried again.

"I don't want to talk about it—"

"Why not? You're leaving tomorrow on a mission and you should have a clear head."

He sighed and looked away from her, withdrawing his arm.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" he complained.

"No, now just tell me. You'll feel better when you get it off your chest and then we can have a nice evening."

Another heavy sigh—Sakura was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"Sakura…" he scrubbed a hand though his hair and looked searchingly around the room before finally landing on her again. "I don't think this is working. Us. It just feels…like it's not exciting anymore, not enough. I'm sorry."

She felt a weight settle in the pit of her stomach, her worst nightmare coming true. Sure, their relationship was pretty routine, she guessed. They had dinner three nights a week and on Saturdays she spent the night at his house. It was simple, but they were happy, right?

Right?

Apparently they weren't, she realized as her face fell and Sasuke's words sunk in.

He was breaking up with her.

She felt tears welling in her eyes but refused to let them fall.

"I see," was all she said in a small voice.

She would not beg him to reconsider, would not ask him what had gone wrong. It simply…wasn't enough for him. She couldn't ask him to take back the words now, and any explanation wouldn't change the outcome.

He was looking away from her again, now that he'd said his piece. Sakura wasn't sure what to do with herself, suddenly very aware that he had shifted away from her on the couch so that they were no longer touching.

Without a better option, Sakura simply rose from the couch and walked to the front door, sliding her feet into her sandals slowly and shouldering her purse. There was a large part of her that hoped he would call out to her, tell her not to go, that it was all a misunderstanding—but he didn't. So with one hand on the doorknob she paused.

"Be safe on your mission, Sasuke," she said absently, and didn't look back or wait for his reply.

A miserable week passed. Sakura had indulged Ino in a girls' night where they drank sake and did their nails; the blonde claimed it would be like cleansing her palate and she could start moving on. Sakura wasn't so sure about that; there had been far too much crying on Sakura's part for that to be any sort of fun. She felt no sense of peace when she left Ino's place the next morning, nails done but eyes puffy.

"Forehead—" Ino called to her as she opened the door to leave. Sakura paused and looked back at her friend.

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

Sakura gave Ino a flat look, not really sure if she was serious or not.

"You'll thank me later!" was the singsong reply that came through the door as Sakura shut it behind her.

Sakura idled away some time doing busy work around the Hokage tower. After a few hours Genma approached her with a mission scroll; apparently Tsunade had noticed her depression and need for a distraction because it was an A-ranked mission with none other than her old Sensei.

"It was supposed to be my mission with Kakashi," Genma pouted dramatically. "But I guess it pays to be the Hokage's favorite."

He winked at her as he passed, looking not at all disappointed at this change of plans. Sakura figured he was all too happy to dump his mission on someone else, considering Shizune also had a few days off coming up.

Yet another happy couple, Sakura thought morosely.

A one-night stand wasn't exactly something that appealed to Sakura, but a mission with Kakashi as her partner definitely did. She had always mocked Kakashi's inability to sit still retire already, but not today. It was the perfect opportunity; Sasuke was due back tomorrow and she could escape before she had to see him around the village again.

The mission went smoothly for the first few days; they merely had to infiltrate a criminal compound and gather some intelligence. There was an ever-changing roster of rogue ninja and common thugs that lived in the compound in between mercenary jobs; Sakura and Kakashi should have been able to slip right in as long as they kept up their henges and played their parts. But some of them must have been uncharacteristically smart; within four days they had been found out, and Sakura didn't know what gave them away.

It happened late at night when she was on her way to the bathroom, wearing only a robe for a shower. There were few women in the compound but all of them were just as tough as their male counterparts, and so far Sakura only had to endure some leering stares and catcalls. She supposed it was only a matter of time before one of them tried something incredibly stupid, but she hadn't planned on being surrounded by four of them—at least three of which she knew to be Jonin-level ninja.

Sakura and Kakashi had not hidden the fact that they were ninja—they had to act like they were capable—but they had of course downplayed their trademark abilities. Sakura was at a severe disadvantage in this fight, though. She would not be able to outmaneuver all four of them with just taijutsu, and the quarters were too close for her to use her chakra to punch her way out without possibly bringing the whole building down around them. She tried to infuse just enough chakra into her blows to fend them off without flinging them into walls, but it was too much for her to handle while trying to hold back, and soon two of them held her firmly between them.

With disgust she realized her bathrobe was nearly hanging open, the knotted belt having loosened in their struggle. At first she thought they were simply looking for an easy female target to which they wanted to do something vile. The third one—probably the leader of their little gang—grabbed her jaw and wrenched her head to the side, leaning in close and dragging his nose intimately across her neck.

"How disappointing, you don't smell like cherry blossoms. Maybe that just means I can crush you like one."

He knew.

They knew who she was, and her life was forfeit if she couldn't escape.

Though it was perhaps the most girlish thing she could think to do, Sakura let out an ear-splitting scream. Kakashi's room wasn't too far—he would hear her and coming running, though she couldn't risk using his name in case his identity was still unknown.

Sakura no longer cared about controlling her chakra—she let it flow through her muscles as she kneed the ringleader in the groin and then ripped one arm free from one captor, then flung his partner at him; they both hit a wall, but not hard enough to make them stay down.

Sakura felt a searing pain as a kunai embedded itself in her thigh, flung haphazardly by the man with the groin injury. It threw her off balance and she staggered, only to be body-checked by the fourth attacker—the heavyweight. Her head hit the wall hard but she tried to keep her focus as she pulled the kunai and slashed at the large man. She only managed to graze his throat, but it would be enough.

Unfortunately her scream also brought out a dozen or so other curious lowlifes that soon joined the fray. She could see Kakashi fighting his way through to her, but like she had been, he was trying to control his attacks just enough to not further give away their identities or cause damage that they would not be able to escape from. She suspected she had a concussion and her injured leg gave her trouble, she was struggling to fight off more attackers with the single kunai. Another slice to her back did her in, and she felt herself falling to the ground as Kakashi cried out her name.

When Sakura regained consciousness she was curled into Kakashi's chest, and he was running hard. Pain lanced through her leg and her back with each of his steps, but she could feel her leg at least had been bandaged.

"Kakashi—what happened?" she asked as soon as she was focused enough to speak.

He looked down at her with unmistakable relief; his face was much easier to read when he had both eyes uncovered.

"Used a transportation jutsu—I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner—we're headed to a civilian town where there's a doctor I know of."

"It's okay," she assured him, "I'll be able to heal myself now."

He gave her a worried look, but didn't argue. Nor did he give any indication that he would put her down, which Sakura was secretly happy about; she felt more secure now. It had frightened her not being able to fend off her attackers, but Kakashi had been right there to save her. He was always right there when she needed him.

On the outskirts of the town Kakashi stopped, and did finally set her unsteadily onto her own feet. He fished an extra shirt out of his pack—he must have had the forethought to grab it before heading into the fray of the fight. At Sakura's questioning look he gestured awkwardly to her appearance.

"You look a little, ah, worse for wear. This will help."

She glanced down at herself, noting that Kakashi had tied her robe tighter, probably when he'd bandaged her leg. She blushed when she realized just how high on her thigh that wound really was. But he was right, as usual; she couldn't very well go traipsing into a civilian village in nothing but a tattered bathrobe. Kakashi would draw enough attention in his bloody uniform as it was.

She took the shirt from his hands and gingerly slipped her arms into the sleeves, hissing as the movement agitated the wound on her back.

"Let me—" Kakashi said as he took the shirt back into his hands. He gathered the fabric until it was bunched up around the neck, and slipped it over hear head and then gently down her back. Sakura fished her arms back through the sleeves and they were off again—though much slower on foot and with Sakura trying poorly to hide her limp. She used Kakashi's waist for balance, and he kept a steadying arm around her.

Kakashi checked them into a shabby little motel, but it was a splurge considering they normally slept outside in bedrolls on missions. As it was, the room still only had one bed, but that didn't matter. It wouldn't be the first or the last time Sakura had shared a bed with a male teammate.

Once inside the room Sakura immediately wheeled on Kakashi with a glowing hand—only to feel herself suddenly a little lightheaded. She sat abruptly on the bed to steady herself.

"Heal yourself first," Kakashi ordered as he set about placing various seals and traps around the room.

She glared at his back, knowing he was probably hiding injuries, though he seemed to be moving all right. She went to work on her leg first, making sure Kakashi was otherwise occupied as she unwound the bandage. It was not as deep as she had feared, but it had bled quite a bit; she was able to heal it within a few minutes. But the wound on her back was somewhat of a problem—she could see into the bathroom far enough to see there was no mirror, and bit her lip.

"Kakashi?"

"I'm fine, I promise, Sakura."

"No—it's not that. I—I need your help."

He was striding toward her in an instant, a worried look playing across his face again.

"I can't see my back—it's a lot harder to heal things when you can't see them. I need—I need you to help me. Just tell me if it looks infected."

He nodded, but masked any other emotions. He helped her remove the shirt he'd put on her just a little while ago, and then sat next to her as she turned her back to him.

It was the most he had ever seen of her, when she dropped the shoulders of the tattered robe to her waist and left her bare back exposed to him. She crossed her arms over her chest and grasped the opposite shoulder with each hand, willing the blush in her cheeks to cool.

It's just Kakashi, she chided herself. She'd seen him nearly naked on several occasions and this was hardly any different.

"It's a little swollen—probably from the way I was carrying you, sorry—but it doesn't look infected," he told her in a quiet voice.

"Okay," was all she said as her hands glowed again and she directed the chakra to where it hurt. She could feel the wound stitching itself back together, but it was hard to tell how long it was. Kakashi must have sensed her trepidation and she felt a single one of his fingers ghost across her skin for the length of a few inches.

"Here," he said, his voice lower.

The touch and his voice sent a tingle down her spine, and she shivered, all too aware of his lingering finger on the small of her back. She directed her chakra to the place he'd indicated, and a few minutes later she felt the last of the pain receding.

As the glow of her chakra faded Sakura felt Kakashi's finger trace the now-invisible line where the long wound had been.

"Good as new," he remarked in the same low voice that was having a heady effect on her.

She kept her back to him but turned her head to glance at him, unsure of his intentions. She met his gaze and found an intensity burning there that she'd never seen on his face. His fingers caressed her bare back lightly and then his palm was pressed against her skin, running down the length of her spine and around almost to her waist before stopping.

This was something entirely different. Sakura recognized this now—the intensity in Kakashi's eyes was desire. He was waiting for her reaction before he did anything else. She knew with certainty that if she simply pulled the robe back up over her shoulders, he would pull away and they would never speak of this moment again.

But Ino's words came back to her then. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Sakura was quite sure sleeping with her teammate and former Sensei was not what Ino had in mind, but the opportunity seemed too good to pass up. Kakashi was an attractive man, even into his thirties. He was a good man, and he would do what he always did—he would take care of her. It just so happened that what she needed now was intimacy, and he was willing to share it with her.

Her arms dropped to her sides as she turned to face him fully. He didn't even glance at her bare breasts at first, instead holding her gaze as he peeled his mask down. They sat there bared to each other for several seconds, moving closer, closer.

And then he kissed her.

The next morning Sakura woke up to an empty room. Kakashi's pack was still in the corner—it's not like he would ever abandon her on a mission of course. But Sakura could guess what it meant.

He was giving her space. Clearly, Kakashi had slipped out unnoticed in order to escape an awkward morning-after. Sakura couldn't really blame him; it's not like she expected anything different. Still, it was more disappointing than she would have imagined.

Last night with Kakashi had been…passionate. There was so much desire, so much intensity that passed between them. Their bodies moved around each other with the confidence and familiarity of old lovers. She couldn't ignore that there had been more comfort and connection with Kakashi in one night than Sakura could ever remember sharing with Sasuke. What did that mean?

It was troubling to think that Sakura could be so heartbroken over Sasuke, and so easily charmed by another man's body. Was she just feeling such a connection to Kakashi because she missed Sasuke? Or was that connection real?

Sakura tried to puzzle these things out as she quickly showered. She had no idea when Kakashi would be back, but it went without being said that she shouldn't be naked when he arrived. With a frown she donned the robe again, folding it and tying it as tightly around her waist as she could, followed by the bloodstained shirt Kakashi had given her yesterday.

For a man known for his tardiness, Kakashi really did have impeccable timing; he strolled casually into the room without so much as a knock as Sakura was slipping her sandals back on. Sakura cringed inwardly; she made the mistake of stiffening for just a second when she realized his presence. He of course would have noticed, but his aloofness was so thorough that he never let on anything was different between them.

He set a cloth bundle on the bed for her when she straightened up again, and when Sakura unwound it she realized it was a pair of pants. They were obviously men's—too long and too loose—but they were new. Kakashi had gone and gotten these from somewhere in town for her, knowing she needed something to wear. Also inside the little bundle were a few kunai, as she had lost hers, as well as some fruit and a hunk of bread. She busied herself with eating breakfast as she fought to hide her blush.

It was silly, really. Kakashi was just doing what he would have done for any other teammate, which was take care of them. But Sakura couldn't help but feel stupidly like he was being extra thoughtful for her. She'd spent the last couple of weeks in such heartbreak; it was hard not to let herself feel a little hope.

Kakashi turned away from her as he strapped the last of his weapons on his person, and Sakura used the opportunity to pull the pants on, discarding the wretched robe for good. They were too large, but at least she could move in them. She quickly bound the lower legs and shoved her feet back into her sandals as she had seen other shinobi do countless times, then slid a kunai next to each of her ankles and one in her waistband. Kakashi moved towards the door and she followed, but stopped when he paused at the door. He barely turned his head back towards her, but she could hear the casual, fake eye crinkle in his too-friendly voice.

"About last night—we're both adults, and teammates. You know how this goes, right?"

Sakura's heart sank. Well, so much for that little bit of hope. Her face probably faltered for a moment but she recovered quickly, affecting the same mask of friendly indifference as he.

"Yeah—right. No need to complicate things."

He nodded once and then walked quickly through the door. The message was clear. They would not speak of last night outside of that motel room.

The journey home was silent, but Sakura could think of nothing to say to change that. She and Kakashi would just need some time apart, and then things would—hopefully—go back to normal. But in her effort not to think about Kakashi, she was really only left to think about Sasuke.

Regret washed over her for the first time since she'd woken up. Not only was she drowning in heartbreak, but she'd put a strain on another friendship as well. She found herself pining for Sasuke, missing him more than ever and wishing she could go home to him and put this whole disastrous mission behind her.

They were approaching the gate and Sakura clearly needed to go back to bed; now she was imagining Sasuke waiting for her right there. She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds and then opened them, only to see Sasuke moving towards her.

He was really there.

It was like something out of a fairy tale, the way Sasuke came striding towards her, troubled expression on his face but strong and with open arms. Sakura stopped walking, hardly believing her eyes and feeling the hopeful tears already welling.

He paused in front of her for just a moment, but must have read something in her face that gave him the confidence to wrap his arms around her and speak quietly into her ear.

"Sakura—I'm so glad you're safe."

Her tears fell and she wrapped her arms around his waist in return. It really was like a dream come true. She pulled back to look at him, not able to help the little confused smile she was giving him. But—why was he here? It wasn't like he would wait at the gate for just anyone to come home, but he'd ended their relationship the last time he saw her. Could she really believe he had reconsidered?

"Sasuke—" she started to say, but he cut her off with a chaste kiss.

"Later, Sakura," he whispered with a significant glance in Kakashi's direction.

Stunned but thrilled at his apparent change of heart, Sakura forced herself to separate from Sasuke, remembering herself—they were still returning from a mission. When she looked around, she caught Kakashi's eye as he strode past the couple. His look was cold, and Sakura was clearly dismissed. Somehow that look burned her, and made Sasuke's arm around her waist feel heavy. Deep in her heart she felt a door slam shut, an opportunity lost.

She tightened her grip on Sasuke, and smiled at him instead.

With an audible growl Kakashi stomped down the stairs of the Hokage tower, having just debriefed with Tsunade. When they'd first escaped the compound Kakashi had sent Pakkun off with a message to the Hokage, filling her in on the situation. Apparently Naruto had been in the room when Pakkun arrived. The idiot felt the need to share confidential mission details with one Sasuke Uchiha, who came running back to Sakura with his tail between his legs upon their arrival in Konoha.

A year or so ago Kakashi hadn't been at all surprised when Sasuke and Sakura started dating. He and Naruto had even had a bet about how long it would take to happen (which Kakashi won). But the whole thing seemed very forced; they went to the same restaurant three times a week and always spent Saturdays together. Kakashi felt like a bit of a creep for knowing these details, but he was a ninja; it was his job to observe those around him and to pay attention to patterns and detail. He told himself it was strictly for observational purposes and not at all because he felt a bit protective of Sakura. Perhaps she had forgiven the Uchiha but Kakashi hadn't completely made peace with him. Sakura had been put through the ringer while Sasuke gallivanted around with Orochimaru, and Kakashi quite honestly believed she deserved better.

So when he noticed the break in their routine and ran into a puffy-eyed Sakura leaving a bar with Ino a few days before their mission, he knew what had finally happened.

Kakashi swore he wasn't smiling as he walked home that day.

His suspicions were confirmed later that week when he met Sakura at the gates to begin their mission. She had given him a sad smile and he had ruffled her hair before taking off ahead of her. He pretended to not notice that she had instantly cheered up at his familiar antics.

Now after Sasuke had hurt her yet again she was just going to take him back like nothing had ever happened.

It made Kakashi irrationally angry.

He had never intended to sleep with Sakura. He could admit to having noticed how beautiful and powerful she had become, and could even admit that if she had not been in a relationship, he might have pursued her at some point. But the fact was that she had been in a relationship and he never expected anything to happen with her.

Until that mission.

Adrenaline was a blessing and a curse. In the heat of battle it was quite useful, but he wished some brilliant medic-nin would find a way to turn it off before he did something stupid. Like sleep with Sakura. Now he couldn't even ask her to make this hypothetical drug to control his hormones. Which sounded a lot worse than it really was, not like he was some animal who couldn't control his urges. He just made stupid decisions.

It would figure that the one person he had no business sleeping with had also been the best lover he'd had in a long, long time. It would be a while before he could forget her, but of course in the light of morning he knew he had to close that path before they went down it. Neither Kakashi nor Sakura would benefit from a repeat of last night, and they needed to quit while they were ahead.

And yet, seeing her run back into Sasuke's arms like the Uchiha hadn't broken her heart two weeks ago—like Sakura hadn't woken up in another man's bed just that morning—made something in his gut twist savagely.

Kakashi avoided his team for the better part of a week, mostly so he could avoid Sakura. But all of them were well known around the village and try as he might, Kakashi could never escape reminders of her completely.

"Naruto and Sakura were at Ichiraku last night…"

"Sakura-san helped my son when he was injured…"

"Sasuke Uchiha just got engaged to Sakura Haruno."

That last one made Kakashi stop in the middle of the street. Surely it was just a rumor? It had to be.

But as Kakashi worked his way through the busy streets he listened intently, and the talk was everywhere, with the consistency indicative of truth and not a made up rumor.

Supposedly Sasuke had heard of Sakura's near-miss on the mission with Kakashi, and had been beside himself over the idea that she may not come home. He'd proposed to her two days after their return.

Two days after their return Kakashi had been sitting in a bar, drinking alone to forget the very same girl and the scent of her skin. The contrast was striking.

How could Sakura just accept his apologies? Sasuke had broken her heart—Kakashi had seen the way it weighed on her the entire mission. They came back and she just accepted him? Accepted his commitment without question?

After sleeping with Kakashi?

He paused again, shoving that thought into the farthest corners of his mind. Sakura was only doing what made sense, he reasoned. There was nothing between them and Kakashi had no reason to be so angry. Instead he should be happy for her, but he at least allowed himself some time to come around to that.

But as it seemed, that was more easily said than done.

For weeks Kakashi endured the buzzing excitement about the upcoming nuptials. He'd even choked out a congratulations to the two of them when Naruto finally guilted him into a team dinner. Sakura had beamed, and the way she practically ignored Kakashi for the rest of the evening stung.

Finally, Kakashi was forced to admit that somewhere along the line he had fallen for Sakura.

It had never been apparent to him until they slept together, but now he wasn't sure how he could have missed it. His jealousy ran deep. Soon, Sakura would be married to another man—one who didn't deserve her—and Kakashi would lose her forever.

Never one to act rashly—okay, maybe rarely, since a rash decision was what got him into this mess in the first place—Kakashi forced himself to step back from the situation. He had specifically told Sakura to forget their tryst ever happened. Well, not specifically, because he hadn't been able to get himself to say the words, but his meaning had been understood. And because of that, he really had no right to meddle in her relationship with Sasuke.

He reasoned that it was likely to fall apart anyway—he still couldn't imagine Sasuke being able to make Sakura happy and vice versa. Eventually they had to realize they were doomed to failure, right? They had ten months until the wedding, and surely they would figure it out before they made an irrevocable mistake.

Kakashi decided to wait it out on an extended mission to Suna.

When he returned two months later, not much had changed except the chatter around the village died down. Kakashi couldn't decide if that was good or bad. On one hand, it was a relief not to hear about Sakura's impending nuptials everywhere he went, but on the other, he was desperate for information.

In a masochistic way, Kakashi craved information in order to feed his hope. With each passing month he heard whispers of the wedding plans that shred his hope just a little more. He berated himself often—if only his knee-jerk reaction hadn't been to push her away, Sakura wouldn't be out there picking out flowers with Sasuke.

Was Kakashi the only one that had felt such a strong connection that night in the motel? At the time it had freaked him out and he blamed it on the adrenaline rush. Now though…he pined for her. Kakashi didn't know what it was that had passed between them, but it was the most intimate sexual experience he'd ever had.

In an attempt to distract himself, Kakashi had even gone so far as to bed a couple of other women. Although they had certainly been entertaining, there was no way to replicate what he had experienced with Sakura.

After several more months, Kakashi was tired of running from a truth he had come to fear: he might be in love with Sakura. It seemed impossible, because he'd only shared one night with her. But aside from that, they had built a friendship and a sense of comfort that only those who had been through hell and back could share. They fit together, and it was only in hindsight that Kakashi had been able to see it.

Now, sleeping with Sakura seemed not to be the stupidest mistake he'd ever made—but pushing her away was.

He had to get her back.

Kakashi was being selfish, he knew. Sakura had never been his to begin with. But as long as she wasn't married, he had to try. He would never forgive himself if he didn't tell her how he felt, always wondering if there was more he could have done.

With a month to go until the wedding, Tsunade decided that was the time to hand the position of Hokage to Naruto. Sakura was grateful for the distraction from her own life.

The wedding loomed over her, and while it was fun to pick out flowers with Ino and pretty dresses with Hinata, Sakura was feeling overwhelmed. Everything was ready, but still thinking of the day made her anxious. Her relationship with Sasuke was the same as it had ever been; Sasuke spent ample time with her and they did all the things that couples did. But lately it had begun to feel like they were just going through the motions. And if Sakura could feel that, she was sure that Sasuke could as well.

Wasn't that his complaint nearly a year ago when they had broken up for the span of a couple of weeks? It made her question Sasuke's feelings, but he told her regularly that he loved her and had more or less given her carte blanche with the wedding plans. Surely if he was unsure of his commitment, he wouldn't have let it get this far, right?

And through all of that, there was Kakashi. She had barely seen him since that mission on which they'd slept together; even on the few occasions she had seen him, they only spoke empty greetings.

Sakura found that she missed him. She missed his strong, steady presence and she missed the way he would ruffle her hair affectionately. She would even go so far as to say that just seeing him reading his porn while hanging out with the rest of their team would have made her happy.

But how could she strike up a conversation with him now? Hey, I know we haven't talked in a year, and you told me you didn't want to do this again, but I can't stop thinking about that night we spent together?

And there it was—the truth. Sakura had felt it the minute Kakashi had walked away from Sakura and Sasuke at the gate that day—a missed opportunity. There had been something there, something worth exploring between she and Kakashi. And they had shut that door before it even really opened. Rather, Kakashi had shut it.

Sakura would be better off to forget him. She was marrying Sasuke—her dream come true.

The night of Naruto's inauguration there was a large, formal dinner. The Kage from all four other Great Nations had been invited, though Gaara was the only Kage to actually attend. Still, the other countries had sent high-ranking ambassadors in their stead. Naruto's close friends and a good number of elite Jonin had been invited as well, and the ballroom in which the party was held was full.

Sasuke had attended the dinner but ducked out once plates had been cleared away and dancing had started—being in the same room as Killer Bee and Darui of the Cloud put him in an unpleasant mood. So Sakura mingled among the guests alone, not wishing to stay in one place all evening because if she did, she would be entirely too aware of Kakashi's presence.

She did a good job of it too—she had been laughing with C from the Cloud village when his attention had been demanded elsewhere, so Sakura made her was across the hall to get a cup of punch. At least, that was her intention, until there was suddenly an arm around her waist and she was spun elegantly in another direction.

Right into Kakashi's arms.

There was a sharp intake of breath at being faced with his presence so suddenly, but Kakashi's face was as smooth and unreadable as ever. This was really the last thing she needed—as much as she missed him, Sakura knew she needed to forget him. But there were too many people, and she wouldn't be able to escape without causing a scene. Not sure what else to do, Sakura simply let Kakashi lead her around the dance floor, but she studiously looked anywhere but at him. He was leading them towards a more secluded corner of the room, and Sakura felt like a trap was closing in around her.

"We've been avoiding each other," he said lowly in place of a greeting. "Why?"

She glared at him, latching onto any other emotion but the one that made her want to spill her guts to him and tell him how much she missed him.

"You know why," she replied stonily. What a stupid question.

"I meant why have we been denying ourselves? Don't try to tell me you didn't feel it, too, that night."

"Because you—you pushed me away!" she hissed.

"I was wrong, Sakura. I've tried to stay away, but I can't get you out of my head, and I can't help but think you're struggling with the same thing."

She bit her lip and looked away again. How did he know her so well?

"That was probably the best night of my life, and I didn't even know it at the time. And now…"

His sentenced trailed off, but Sakura knew what he meant. And now she was getting ready to marry Sasuke. She looked back at Kakashi, into his eyes, and read the question there.

He wanted her to leave Sasuke to be with him.

Suddenly Sakura became very aware of Kakashi's body; she hadn't been this close to him since they fell asleep in each other's arms in that motel. It was like her body had forgotten his, but suddenly remembered—there was a current running through her, a need to be closer to him. When did her chest become pressed against his? Why was his mouth so close? If they kept moving their lips would meet in a kiss.

Sakura wasn't sure who moved, because they were both angling for it. There was a part of her that felt a stab of disappointment when Kakashi regained control first, looking away sharply.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

His voice now held a bitterness that made Sakura's heart ache. She could make that ache go away—if she would just take her hand and put it against his strong jaw. It would only take that one kiss and Sakura could explore this pull she felt with him.

But he was asking her to throw away so much—her marriage to Sasuke. An entire relationship that had struggled and faltered and that she had fought for tooth and nail. And based on what? A few months of pining loneliness?

She couldn't do it. Whatever her reservations were about Sasuke, she couldn't give up everything she had with him to take such a large gamble.

The music broke, and Kakashi gave her a long, sad look as he released her. She could already feel the tears welling in her eyes—who knew she could feel so heartbroken a mere month before her wedding? Taking deep shaky breaths to calm herself, Sakura made her way back across the hall to find Naruto, and made a quick exit after saying goodbye. If he noticed her lack of composure, he mercifully didn't say anything.

Kakashi spent the day of Sakura's wedding alone in the land of Snow. After Sakura had left him at Naruto's inauguration, he knew he had lost her for good. He'd been invited to the wedding, of course, but he couldn't bear the thought of being there to witness it. It would have been too conspicuous if Kakashi had been in the village but not at the wedding, so he simply took a timely mission to spare them both.

The next time he saw her it was a couple months later. She stood in the market, frowning in front of a display of ripe red tomatoes. The wedding ring on her finger glinted brightly in the sun, and Kakashi turned away.

A/N: Don't hate me! I debated on how to end this one but just couldn't picture it ending happily. I'll be taking a break tomorrow (Thursday) as I couldn't get my head wrapped around the theme (Move AU), and the one idea I did have was going too take too much time/energy to write. So I'll be back with another post on Friday, and I promise that one will be nice and fluffy and happy!