It was dark when they arrived. The sky, black with anger, let loose upon the Earth an endless torrent of elemental fury. Lightning bolts cackled as they clashed against the horizon. Flashing lights and sounds of thunder filled the dark night with the booming steps of giants. The wind forced its mass upon the large windows, desperately searching for an opening.

Decci glanced at his watch as the white house groaned and creaked. They're late, he thought, pacing around the room irritably.

It was a cozy house that he and Abby had rented for a few days. Providing the living room with light and crackly warmth, the fireplace proudly grinned from its place at the end of the room. Two large armchairs, fluffy but faded, lazily lounged about, calmly waiting for someone to sit in their laps. A sofa sat opposite them by its lonesome. Abby had been pleased with the small rooms but thoroughly disgusted by the giant moose-head that hung above the fireplace. It was one of the most stereotypical cozy houses in all of history, yet its ridiculously unoriginal antics seemed to pluck at their heartstrings. While the rug was a disgusting shade of purple, it was a minor setback from the rest that the house had to offer.

He looked up as Abby emerged from the kitchen holding a tray full of small china cups. She looked frail, as if she hadn't been eating properly. Giving a sigh, she sat down on one of the armchairs and laid the tray of cups on the coffee table in front of her.

"Why did we agree to meet these two again?" she asked wearily. She looked at him, but he wasn't facing her. Instead, he watched the door, as if waiting.

He took a while to respond. "To be perfectly honest, they're probably coming to kill us." He turned to Abby, a small smile on his face. "But they were already on our trail. It would have been meaningless to try to avoid them."

"Why didn't they just kill us when they first approached us?" she mumbled. Her eyes were downcast, darkened in the shadowed room, as if she already knew the answer.

He walked towards the armchair opposite her and sat down slowly. With what seemed deliberate slowness, he took one of the cups in front of him and took a small sip. He nodded appreciatively. "Seems like you haven't lost the touch of making sucky coffee."

"But do you think they're strong enough? I ran some calculations, and we're about the strength of two lieutenants. I'm sure we could..." She stopped at Decci's burst of laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Oh Abby, you're such a loser." He continued to laugh, sending a cold chill through the girl. Her expression grew darker as he said, "Abby my dear, we'd be dead within instants if we tried to fight. Two lieutenants? That doesn't mean jack shit against two captains."

"I thought as much," Abby replied, her chin resting upon her hands. "So I guess this could be our last night in existence, huh?"

The two nodded solemnly. Decci continued to sip from his cup, occasionally wiping the corners of his mouth with a small tissue. Abby stared into nothingness, hand lazily stirring the tea in her small cup with a teaspoon.

It was in this position that they remained until they felt the approaching Shinigami and the two completely different textures of Reiatsu. They felt the lashing tongue as it clashed with their own feeble spirit force. Each step forward sent vibrations through the ground as the monumental amount of power got closer and closer. An omnipotent force, the first seemed to hover beside them, constantly prodding them with slaps of pressure to the face. Equally stunning, the second began to tickle the two Hellions; it swelled around them in a flurried frenzy. Never did it bite, it never had to; its presence alone was enough to give the impression that it had absolute control of its being.

Approaching voices resonated from within the storm. "Wow. This is probably the first time you've ever been late huh?" It spoke with a taunting air, laughing and testing its companion to strike.

"And I have no one to blame but you," a second voice snapped, disregarding all aspects of the first and proceeding through the door.

"You'd think they'd have the courtesy to at least greet us at the door. It's just common sense, right?"

"I never want to hear the words 'common sense' come out of your mouth again."

Abby and Decci stood as the two entered the living room. While strange enough that they were in their human forms, it was even more surprising to see that they were drier than sand. The two parties eyed each other warily.

One of the visitors was short and dressed ridiculously. He had on a Britney Spears t-shirt and baggy pink pants, while the rest of his outfit seemed to consist of different colored accessories from LMFAO music videos. He clicked his tongue and waved to Abby, smiling.

The second was tall and dressed formally. He wore a white dress shirt underneath a black trench coat, and his beige pants seemed to complement his tan-colored shoes. He nodded towards Decci, not needing any other signs of recognition. They knew who they were.

"Welcome to our humble abode," Decci said motioning for the opposite party to sit down. The short one looked distastefully at the purple rug before finding space in a red armchair. "I'm assuming that Soul Society has sent you?"

The two Hellions tensed, static racing through their bones as they waited for the Shinigami to respond. Abby began to shiver as the tall one opened his mouth, and the short one licked his lips.

"No, we came here of our own accord," the tall one replied. "We don't get involved with Soul Society's business."

Mountains lifted, and the reaper's scythe was removed from their necks. The tension, a once great presence, was reduced to ash, so Abby and Decci shrugged their shoulders and relaxed.

"I see. Then what do you two gentlemen want?" Abby asked, directing her question towards the tall one, who seemed to be the spokesperson.

Rather than answering, he went silent as his partner responded. "We want to know what you're doing with that Mexican. Oh, and do you have any orange juice? I'm not really feeling the tea."

Decci raised an eyebrow before standing up and going into the kitchen. They could hear him hum while he opened the refrigerator. Abby narrowed her eyes at the flamboyantly dressed male.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not following," she said as Decci returned with the requested glass of juice. "I don't think we've done any experiments on any Mexicans recently." She thought for a second. "Maybe he was African, only really really lightly shaded?"

The tall one shook his head. "No, he was Puerto Rican." He smacked his partner, who choked on his juice. "Racist, there's a difference."

The relaxed air in the room seemed to go cold once more. Every molecule in the air froze, and the furniture almost seemed to shiver as Abby spoke. Her icy tone seemed to calm even the storm outside. "What do you wish to know about that?"

"Don't be rash, Abby," Decci said quickly, placing a hand on her shoulder and holding her back. "I don't want to die just yet."

"Girl, sit your ass down, we're not going to molest him."

There was another smack, and the tall one coughed loudly. "And you wonder why people wonder if we're gay," he muttered to his partner. He shook his head and coughed again

before continuing. "What are you doing with this child?"

Decci stirred a small teaspoon through his cup calmly. "It's a long story, and whether or not you want to hear it is completely up to you."

The short one clapped his hands together before jumping down from his throne and snuggling next to his partner in crime on the floor. Without hesitation, the tall one conquered the abandoned seat, disregarding all "But honey!"s and motioning for Decci to begin.

And so he did.

"Once upon a time," he said, "in a land far far away..."

Like the sadistic bastard he was, Decci spewed the story with much versacchi swagger, and even did the special voices. He went from piano to fortisisisimo, story-telling techniques as epic as Morgan Freeman. There were cringes, followed by high-pitched laughter at the torture scenes, which were then followed by slaps across the face. He entangled his small audience with the tale of misery that had been granted upon a young Puerto Rican child. Aside from the frequent face-slapping, the tall one hadn't moved an inch since the story had began. On the opposite end of the pendulum, his partner seemed to have exhausted himself, lying on his stomach with his face buried in purple.

The beast of the storms had subsided and relieved its pain when Decci finished. The cups lay on the table, forgotten, and the two guests solemnly stroked their chins in deep contemplation.

"As you can tell, this is a deep personal matter, as well as one that we wish to keep on the down low," Abby said.

"Understood. Soul Society would probably execute you for experimenting on humans," the tall one replied, rubbing his eyes. He lowered his hands, revealing tightly shut eyelids blossoming into tired pupils. "You sick sick bastards," he said with a wry smile.

"Even for people like us, that's cold," the short one said before chuckling and fixing his pink fedora. "Did it ever occur to you what might happen if a Hollow were to attack him?"

His tone wasn't serious; however, there was still a taunting edge to it, creeping into the ears of the two Hellions and flicking at the thin membranes of their rationalities. Abby twitched and crossed her arms.

"I did teach him how to avoid them...but he doesn't have any means of defending himself, if that's what you're asking."

"Then I guess something isn't really going according to plan is it?" the short one said, slapping his palms together as his partner took a small keychain out of his pocket. It was in the shape of a small white egg, which read "Made in Soul Society" on the bottom. The tall one handed the keychain over to Abby's extended hand, and the two Shinigami leaned back in their seats as the two Hellions watched in anxiety.

From within the egg came the sound of sneakers hitting the pavement. The teen could be seen passing through the living, eyes set in determination. Like a knife, he slashed his way through the wind. Several times, he stumbled as he limped across the ground. Sweat covered his face and even seemed to be sinking into his ghostly t-shirt.

One hand swayed through the air, and he gripped his golden chain with the other. Crimson streaks ran down the gold, staining the deteriorating coil a bloody red. Its polished metal surface was slowly fading, and pieces were chipped off. A small sliver of emptiness winked back at the spectators as the chain slowly pulled at his skin. He didn't seem to notice the hole at all, so focused was he on his mad dash.

It was in that moment that the spectators all heard it. Heavy breathing. Saliva droplets as large as bowling balls making impact with the concrete. Abby held her breath as she watched Soli swiftly turn around and start running.

Then they saw it.

It was a colossal humanoid figure, standing on two legs and standing over fifteen feet tall. Its mask was circular, with one horn protruding from above its right eyehole. Its mouth was spread open in a large grin as it chased after the running child. Dark green arms as long as stop sign poles and hands the size of amplifiers extended, grasping at the boy. Soli never stopped to look back as he raced forward, a non-existent heart rattling his ghostly rib cage, the feeling of adrenaline being hosed into his veins.

Not a single head turned in the small area as the ear-splitting screech of the Hollow echoed throughout the streets.

"Come…to… me," it scratched through the small audio speaker on the back of the keychain. It had a twisted voice, agonizingly guttural and hoarse. Three rows of teeth glimmered through the screen as it bared its large fangs, ready to eviscerate any being unfortunate enough to find themselves within the chamber of its mouth. Soli only continued to run as the Hollow rasped its requests.

He turned a corner and hurriedly disappeared from the screen. The Hollow growled as it got down on its fours. Reaching into an alleyway, it removed a small Whole, a middle-aged man.

His protests of "Please!" and "Don't!" were ignored as the Hollow chomped on the human form with a crunch of bones. Blood spilled from the body and soaked the Hollow's sharp teeth. The body's lower half continued to struggle as moans of agony emerged from within its mouth. Another squelch! as the second bite was taken, and another spasm overtook the body of the Whole. Legs stuck out at disjointed angles, half an arm fell to the ground, and blood pooled at the Hollow's large feet.

Its raspy voice cackled in joy as it consumed the rest of the spirit. Licking its lips with its large purple tongue, it got back down on all fours.

"I'm…coming," it choked before turning the same corner and following the echoes of the boy's footsteps.

The screen went black for a second, but immediately turned back on again. Horror splashed across Abby's face as Soli tripped on screen. A large green hand reached down and enclosed him like a cage. Squirming sounds as well as yells could be heard from within. The Hollow only giggled as it brought its hand to face value and stared at the terrified teenager.

Large empty eyes and pride that was kneeling to desire met the teenagers struggling form. His limbs flailed in a panicked frenzy as the Hollow slowly opened its hand.

"Stop… it," the Hollow growled. The boy bit down into the flesh of the Hollow, displeasure immediately showing on his face. He grimaced in disgust as the horrendous taste filled his mouth.

The huge jaws opened, and Soli stared into an endless oblivion. A fiery breeze, the smell of hell radiated from the gaping hole.

"Come… no pain if no chew," it said. Its teeth sank into its gums, leaving a squishy black texture for Soli to stand on. There was a long pause, as if the boy were weighing his options. It licked its in anticipation, slightly brushing Soli's face.

There was a minute of silence before the Hollow growled, shaking the boy's form and signaling its patience coming to a most untimely end.

"Fuck you," Soli whispered.

He jumped from the open spaces between the Hollow's fingers. There was an ear-shattering roar as Soli's feet hit the ground. Grunts and growls could be heard directly behind him.

"FUCK!" he screamed in pain as the Hollow slashed open his back with its middle finger. Despite this, he didn't dare slow down. He didn't dare look back. All he could do was listen as the Hollow's anger enveloped him with each passing moment.

Opening its jaws, the Hollow knocked Soli's legs out from underneath him with its nose. Time seemed to slow as the boy fell into the gaping jaws of the disfigured creature.

The short one broke the silence that had settled within the living room, laughing as the boy was scooped up into the mouth of the Hollow. Abby stared, terror-stricken and horrified.

"Didn't see that coming did you?" he directed towards Decci, whose hands were placed behind his head. His impassive face revealed nothing, his eyebrow slightly cocked up and his mouth set in a thin line.

It was only when Abby heard the Hollow shriek that she directed her attention back to the video. Its body had effectively been split in half. Both halves writhed on the ground, blood pouring onto the concrete. It splattered across Soli, who stared at the dying creature, pitiful and worthless.

"KILL! SHINIGAMI!" it continued to scream, grasping at the large wound that had separated its upper body from its legs.

Both Abby and Decci scanned the screen, searching for any sign of a black kimono. None could be seen. Soli had backed up against a wall, already splattered with red liquid as the Hollow's empty eyes fixed on a spot not in the camcorders vision.

"Hado Four, Byakurai."

A feminine voice emerged from the small speakers, and the screen went white for a split second. Abby bit her lip as the camcorder began to refocus. A large hole could be seen in the center of the Hollow's mask. Slowly, then quickly, it began to disintegrate into black particles before evaporating into the atmosphere.

The film soon faded to black, and the two Hellions sat back. There was a brief moment of silence as the two parties waited for the other to move. The two Shinigami sat calmly while the two Hellions organized their thoughts.

"So he is safe," Decci said slowly. He formed each word with his lips as if tasting them. There was a nod from the tall one, and Abby breathed a sigh of relief. "Did she perform Konso?"

"He was too shaken to talk to." The tall one placed the camcorder back into his pocket.

"From what we saw, we're guessing that she didn't want to go on with the ceremony without his approval first."

Another silence followed this as the two Hellions chewed on the thought.

"This Shinigami could turn out to be useful," Abby said, relaxing. "It definitely could have been a lot worse."

"Yes, we might have wasted sixteen years of experimenting and theories," Decci said relieved. "Thank you for that gentlemen."

He smiled and stood up to shake their hands, though they ignored him. The tall one finished the small amount of tea left in his cup before standing up, and the short one rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Gathering their coats, they flipped their collars up before leaving the house with manly struts.

"Peace!" the short one called from the door, and the two exited the house. Abby and Decci stared at each other as they felt the two beings leave the area.

"Well then, Abby, I guess our asses got seriously lucky this time, did they not?"

She merely nodded in response, and sighed before falling back into the couch, exhausted.

HELL IS COLDER THAN ICE CREAM

Soli stared at the corpse as it dissolved into the air. He was tired, and swiftly losing consciousness. I didn't even know that could happen, he thought, as want of rest overtook him.

A soothing breeze brushed at his heated skin, cooling him down. He nearly made to lie down, to fall into blissful sleep, but he stopped before he even began.

Before him stood a young Asian lady, looking no older than sixteen. Her skin was a soft pale color, lightened with an almost glowing health. Swept to the right, her bangs shadowed one side of her face, though her eyes seemed to be illuminated by some unknown cause. The black shone, a deep, sparkling color.

She stepped towards him, and he stepped away. He stumbled, though, and before he knew it he was subject to gravity. He felt the weight of his body bring him down, down to the ground—

—and she stepped forward, catching him effortlessly.

She shifted his weight with an incredible strength for her size, pushing him up from the small of his back into a standing position. The motion sent a lashing pain through his back, through the injury he had forgotten he had received.

"Looks painful," she said sympathetically.

He hardly heard her; he was too aware of the fact he was leaning against her shoulder.

"I'm not the best at healing, but I should be good enough to patch up a simple Hollow's... Hey, are you...?"

She stepped back, holding him by the shoulders. He found himself staring into her eyes.

And her lips curved into the smallest smile.

"Now that I look at you, you're kinda cute." She gave a small chuckle. "Ah, who am I kidding."

Pain. Exhaustion. Each weighed heavily in his mind. He could barely see the woman in front of him, the woman who had saved his life. But he saw enough.

"Shini...gami..." he croaked.

She nodded her head, and the black kimono she wore fluttered with the movement. Her sword gave a soft jingle in its sheath. "I'm a Shinigami, yes. And you are?"

The question fell upon deaf ears. He lurched forward, and she caught him before he could fall.

"Thank you," he whispered.

And he fainted in her warm embrace.

Authors Note

Took a while, but its completion is like a baby being born. Hope you enjoy my child, and remember to RandR

Xie Xie to my editor, ArchXDeath for the hell we put each other through, and hope that your purple rugs aren't as horrendous as the one I have in mind.

Peace XD