A/N: Sorry to disappoint, but no DHr this chapter. Yeah. I never really intended to write a chapter like this but it came, tortured me, and forced me to write it. Anyway, I just wanted to thank my beta Edenvirg, whom I had successfully lured into the Dark Side (We should celebrate!). I also want to thank everyone who read the story and those who took the time to leave a review. They are very, very helpful. Thanks again and enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: Not mine and will never be. Huhu. sniff Tissue, anyone?
Chapter Four: Stranded
Pansy Parkinson glanced anxiously at the package she had earlier laid on the mahogany table. He would surely love it. He would give her that smile of his and then tell her she was spoiling him too much. Yes, it might make him feel a little better. And maybe, just maybe, it could take his mind off her... even for a while.
She never thought they would be this close. Back in Hogwarts, they were in different houses and they hated each other. For him, she was nothing but a brainless bitch. For her, he was simply filth. Neither of them thought they could actually be close... much more be friends.
When she lost Draco four years ago, she felt lonely and miserable. She started to question the ideals her parents made her to believe. It was during this time of confusion that this man came into her life. Thinking back, he was the last person whom she thought would rescue her.
Neither would I want him to, then.
But of course she was wrong. He was the one who opened her eyes to the light. He made her realise a lot of things, but above all, he made her want to live again. He was the one who trusted her and gave her another chance. Surely, he was the reason why Pansy's life changed.
She stood up from her bed then approached the table. She ran her manicured fingers on the sparkling blue gift wrap. She smiled when she realized it had the exact same color of his eyes.
"Stop worrying, Pansy," she said loudly to herself. "Just... stop."
She let out a sigh then lifted the package off the table. She didn't realise it was so heavy. She went out of her room then carried the gift to the living room where she set it down on the coffee table.
She sat on the sofa and stared at the gift in front of her. She never thought she'd feel this much for someone else. It actually scared her at first. She just never expected that she could fall in love with someone, much more someone so different from her. In the past, she only had her eyes on Draco. But that was only some girly crush that was intensified by their mutual knowledge that they would end up together later on. But what she had now is different. This was different. She knew that for sure.
However, she knew that he didn't feel the same way towards her. He had an on-and-off relationship with someone else and she knew he felt strongly for that woman. She may not be the most beautiful girl he knew, but she was smart, independent and kind. She was everything that Pansy never was. Pansy could never measure up to her.
She looked at the clock and saw that he would be coming soon. She had asked him to come over to her flat for dinner. They had done this before, especially when one of them had a problem. It was just good to know that there was someone who could be there to talk to and who could understand.
She caught a glimpse of her reflection on the clear glass facade of the cabinet her mother forced her to place in her living room. What she saw there was a rich, beautiful, collected and sophisticated woman. Inside, however, she knew that she was just a scared and confused girl whose simple wish was to be accepted and be seen by this man.
She shook her head then looked back to the package. She could not have him. She could only stand on the sidelines and watch him from afar. She didn't deserve him. She might just hurt him later on. She can never have him. Never.
She was awakened from her trance by a popping sound which came from outside. She stood up from the sofa then walked unhurriedly to the door. She took a deep breath as her hand came in contact with the cool surface of the doorknob. She carefully turned it and opened the door to reveal her visitor.
"Hey, Pansy," he greeted with a smile. "You look great today."
Pansy couldn't help smiling back.
"Flatterer," she said, rolling her eyes. She looked at the tall man from head to toe. He was wearing his clothes from work. "But... well, you... you don't look that bad, either."
He simply raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed in reply.
"Come," she said, pulling him inside by the arm then closing the door behind him. "I got you something to make up for my rudeness."
"Pansy," he said with a serious look. "You shouldn't—"
"It's perfectly fine, you know," Pansy said as she pulled him to the living room. She released his arm then took the package from the table. She carried it to him then shoved it into his arms. "Open it," she said excitedly as she watched his reaction.
He gave her a concerned look then looked down to the heavy package in his arms.
"You're spoiling me, Pans," he said, and then he smiled. "I might get used to it."
"Oh, whatever, Weasley," she said in feigned annoyance. "Just open the bloody thing and let's get this over with."
Ron smiled and he started to unwrap the package. He tore the blue wrapper away to reveal a thick hardbound book. The Greatest Quidditch Players of All Time. He stared at it incredulously for a while.
"You like it?" Pansy asked.
Ron looked into her dark eyes then smiled.
"I love it," he said. "Thank you."
"I'm glad you did," she replied as she smiled back at him. "I know you're upset about Hermione's disappearance and I just thought... well, this might make you feel a little bit better."
Ron smiled as he reached over and took her hand.
"Thanks," he simply said, gently squeezing her hand.
"It's really nothing, Ron," she said as she looked into his blue eyes. "You've done too much for me."
He suddenly inched closer and gave her a hug.
"You're a great friend, Pansy," he said. "Thanks again."
"I told you, Ron, it's nothing," she replied hitting him playfully on his back.
"I'm- I'm glad I met you that night," he said seriously. "And I'm glad I have you with us now."
She smiled as she remembered that night four years ago in Hogwarts. She pulled away from the hug then smiled up to him.
"Me, too," she said. "I'm glad I met you and I made that choice."
Ron nodded. He was about to say something when his stomach suddenly growled loudly. Pansy laughed then shook her head. I was so typically Ron.
"Come," she said, taking his hand. "You must be starving. Taffy prepared a feast."
She knew it was already past curfew but she didn't care anymore. Whoever cared about detention when there was a war brewing outside?
She continued to walk almost blindly, and without direction down the dark, empty hallway. She hated how this had taken her friends away. Most of them never came back to school this year. Either they joined the Dark side or their parents didn't send them back for fear for their safety.
She found herself entering an empty classroom. She closed the door behind her then slid down on a chair where she just let all her pent-up feelings out. She cried out her fear, sadness, frustration and pain. She didn't care anymore if she got caught out here at this hour. She just wanted to be alone...
She had been sitting there and crying her heart out for quite some time when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She slowly opened her swollen eyes and saw that the person was offering her a handkerchief. She took it then wiped her face before turning to see who it was.
"What are you doing here, Parkinson?" he asked with an expression of confusion and concern.
"What do you care?" she spat back.
Ron Weasley removed his hand from her shoulder.
"Fine. Don't tell me. But you should get back to your dormitory," he said looking away from her then stuffing his hands inside his pockets. "One of the teachers — or worse, Filch — might see you out here."
"I don't care anymore," she said weakly. "I don't care anymore."
Finally, he left her alone in that dark and dusty classroom. She let out a sigh then realised that she still had his handkerchief. Had this happened a few months ago, she would've thrown it at his face as if it was something filthy. But earlier... somehow, Weasley did make her feel better... She placed one of her hands on her shoulder. It just wasn't the same. She looked at the closed door then slightly regretted the way she treated him.
To her surprise, Weasley returned at that moment and closed the door behind him. He set down his lit wand on a desk in front of her then took a seat on the chair beside hers.
"I won't leave till you do," he said with a determined look on his face.
"I told you to leave, Weasley," she said softly. "Just go."
"You heard what I said," he said stubbornly. "What are you doing out here, anyway?"
She looked down on her lap where her hands held onto the handkerchief. Soon, she saw a tear drop, followed by another... until all she could see was a blur.
"You stupid, stubborn Gryffindors," she managed to say through the tears.
She soon felt his warm arms around her. They just felt so warm and comforting... something she'd never felt in a long time. She didn't care anymore. She cried in front of Ronald Weasley and allowed him to comfort her.
After what felt like forever, her tears came to an end. She didn't know whether it was because her body ran out of tears to shed or because she was just tired. All she knew was that she had never felt that good in a very long time. She wiped the last of the tears from her cheeks then turned to her comforter.
She never knew before that he had blue eyes. Maybe she'd been too blinded by her dislike for him to even notice.
"Thanks," she managed to say.
He simply nodded and gave her a small smile. Slowly, his arms slid away from her shoulders and with them he carried back with him the warmth, the strength, the comfort. She had so desperately wanted to ask him to return them back to her shoulders but she stopped herself.
"What were you doing here, anyway?" she asked him.
"Oh, that?" he asked. Even in the dark, Pansy could tell that he was blushing. "I was looking for Hermione. Then I heard you crying so... Anyway, I saw her already and asked her to come back then I went back for you here."
"Why?"
She desperately wanted to know why. They were actually supposed to be hating each other right now and hexing each other to hell. But he came here and comforted her. He was the last person she expected to do that.
There was a long pause before he could answer the very simple yet complicated question.
"I saw you were in pain," he answered, his eyes on the surface of the desk. "And I cannot just leave you here. I just felt... I felt like I had to do something."
It was a while before either of them spoke. It was still a strange occurrence for them to be in this place together and in such a situation.
"Mind to tell me what's wrong?" he asked.
Pansy looked up to his face and felt that she could trust him.
"I've been... a lot of them were lost... all because of this war," she started then feared that the tears would come again. Nevertheless, she continued. "I just felt so lost... like I was stranded and I had nowhere to go... I started to question everything... the things I was raised to believe in... They all just seem so wrong now. But I'm... scared to see what's there on the other side. It's not like I could just jump and switch sides. I'm just so tired..."
She was scared; she was confused; she was frustrated; she was lonely. She just told Ron what she had never told anyone before. He simply put his hand over hers. Soon, the tears came again and she later found herself enveloped in his warm embrace.
"There's still hope," she heard him say. For her, that was enough.
She cried till her eyes hurt. She cried till every inch of her body felt ready to give way. But it was alright. It was alright because this time, someone was there.
She pulled away from the embrace then wiped the tears from her cheeks. Even her skin felt sore. She looked down at his handkerchief. It was white with maroon lining. On the side she was holding was a letter R embroidered in maroon. She looked up at him and smiled toward him for the first time in her life.
"What is it about you and maroon?" she asked with an amused tone in her cracked voice.
"Ask my Mum," he said, then he blushed again. "I'll walk you back to the dungeons. It's very late."
He stood up and took his wand from the desk. Pansy made no move to stand up until Ron looked back at her and offered his hand. She stared at it for a while before she took it.
The walk back to the dungeons was a very silent one since they were also trying to avoid coming across a teacher or Filch. When they finally reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room, Pansy turned to Ron then smiled.
"Thanks," she whispered. "I really appreciate it, Weasley. I really do."
"That's nothing," he said shyly, looking down at his shoes. "I'm glad that I was able to help you."
"I guess you gotta get back," she said. "You might get caught out here."
Ron nodded. He was about to walk away when a thought struck Pansy.
"Weasley," she whispered hoarsely. When she caught his attention she walked toward him then started to speak. "I know this sounds strange and some might think of it as a trick... but I want you to know that I'm willing to try... to help... you and your cause in any way."
It was a huge decision on her part but at that time it was the only right thing she knew she should do... and she just didn't care what others might think or what the consequences could be... She just felt that she had to do it.
Ron simply smiled at her.
"I'll see you around, Pansy," he said, then turned around to leave.
She stayed where she was until Ron was out of sight and walked back to the entrance of Slytherin common room. She muttered the password and the door opened. Before she entered, however, she realised that she still had his handkerchief in her hand. She smiled then looked back to where Ron had walked off to around a minute ago.
"I'll see you around, Ron."
"Still no leads?" Pansy asked as Ron shoved some mashed potatoes into his mouth.
Ron sadly shook his head. Even though he was clearly upset about his best friend's disappearance, it evidently did not affect his appetite. Pansy smiled as she thought of this. So typically Ron.
"What's so funny?" he suddenly asked.
"Uh... nothing," she said as she cut herself a piece of salmon. "It's just that stress and depression never seem to affect your appetite."
She looked up and saw Ron glaring at her.
"Don't worry," she said with a smirk. "Taffy loves you for it."
His glare intensified at the mention of her house elf, who was obsessed with Ron.
"Hey, I'm sorry," Pansy said with a chuckle, which somehow wiped Ron's glare from his face. "I just hope you find her soon."
"Yeah, I really hope so," he agreed. "Not only for Hermione but also for Harry. He's blaming himself for not being there."
"Speaking of Harry, I'm also worried about your sister," she said seriously after taking a sip of water.
"I think Mum could take care of her little girl," Ron said with a small smile. "I asked her to go see Ginny and they spent time together today."
"That's good then," she replied. "Anyway, how's it going in the Ministry?"
Ron's expression became rather sullen at the mention of work.
"Those escapees are a pain in the arse," he answered with a frown. "My team and I are going out to hunt for them the day after tomorrow."
"You mean you're leaving?" Pansy asked worriedly.
"Don't give me that, Pans," he said, rolling his eyes. "It was worse back in the war."
"I know but—"
"Don't worry," he said cutting her off. "I've been working with this team for more than a year. I know we can do it"
"Alright," she said with a sigh. "Just take care and do not get killed."
Ron almost spit out the food inside his mouth.
"Should I take that as a statement of concern or as a threat?"
Pansy smirked as she popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.
"Take it as both."
Ron threw himself into a couch and then he leaned back and stretched his legs. He really enjoyed these dinners with Pansy, especially at her place. Yes, Taffy could be a little too passionate over her job when he was around, but it usually turned out good.
Pansy took a seat on the couch adjacent to his. He was amazed with how much grace she had in everything she did. Growing up in a rich, pureblood family did do her some good.
"Chocolates?" she asked after conjuring a tray full of different kinds of chocolates in different shapes and colors with the flick of her wand.
"Oh damn, Pansy," Ron muttered as he held on to his full stomach. "One more of those and I will explode."
She simply laughed as she delicately took a bite into one.
"So," she said as she crossed her legs. "How was the date last week?"
Ron leaned further back into the soft material of the couch then closed his eyes. Pansy had this crazy idea to get him to see other girls after his break up with Hermione more than six months ago. He knew she was simply concerned but this wasn't working out for him. Ron went to the dates out of respect to his very insistent friend.
"Okay," he simply said.
"Just... okay?" Pansy asked.
Ron opened his eyes to look at her.
"Pansy, I know you are concerned and all but..." he paused as he searched for the right words to say. "I just... I mean, I'd see a girl once I become interested in one... I mean, on my own. I really appreciate your efforts—"
"It's alright, Won-won," she joked. "I understand. It's just that I think—"
Ron raised an eyebrow at her and she snapped her mouth shut.
"Sorry," she said softly.
She leaned over and took another chocolate from the silver tray she set down on the coffee table. Ron soon followed suit. He took two pieces of the square-shaped dark chocolate then popped these into his mouth.
"I thought you were full," Pansy said, almost in accusation.
"Hmm? They looked tempting," he said with a grin as he took another piece off the tray. "Who am I to say no?"
Pansy levitated the tray and moved it closer to Ron.
"What the— I swear, I can never have kids with you, Pans," he said with an amused look.
Pansy simply gaped at him as if he'd grown a second head. Did he just say that? Or were her ears playing tricks on her?
"You're gonna spoil them rotten," he continued as he took more chocolate from the tray. "Hey, Pans."
Pansy snapped her mouth shut when she realized that it was hanging open.
"I guess I just want to give them the best," she said rather weakly. Her heart was beating so hard. "The people I care for, I mean."
Ron smiled as he placed a piece of chocolate on her palm.
"Well then, I'm lucky to be one of them," he said with a wide grin as he stood up from the chair. "Guess I gotta go now. Thanks for the dinner."
Pansy simply nodded as she stood up.
"Do tell me if there's any news on Hermione," she said. "And be careful on that mission."
"I will," he said as he picked up his book from the table. "Thanks again for this, Pansy."
He leaned forward then placed a kiss on her forehead. He had done it before but each and every time he did, Pansy still felt weak in the knees.
"I'll see you on Friday," he said with a smile.
"I'll see you," she said softly.
Ron gave her one last smile before he Disapparated. Pansy stared at the space where he was for a few more moments before she walked back to the couch, where she slumped in a very un-ladylike way. If she kept this on, she would be forever stranded in this vicious cycle. She should stop this. She would never win him over this way. She could just never win him over.
She sighed, and then realised that the chocolate he gave her was still on her hand. She looked at it and a smile formed on her face.
But then of course, she could always change her mind. She could always choose to remain here... and be forever stranded in the vicious cycle. Stupid, yes... but it simply felt good.
On her palm was a white, rose-shaped chocolate.