Mischief, Rum and Comic Book Wishes

Summary: It was like I'd gotten some sort of magic, wish-granting spell cast on me! Everything went my way today. Now, if only I could appear in the Marvel-verse like one of those cliché fan-fictions. That would be awesome...

AN: This is a very silly fanfiction meant to be, well, very silly and very fluffy and overall, not to be taken too seriously. I don't write silly or fluffy very often, so we'll see how long it lasts that way. This is going to be a redone version of the original, since I missed a lot of the story will be changed with the new movies. Not a lot, but it will be fun.

Chapter Three

I was not prepared

When next I wake up, it is because I fall out of my little hospital bed when the whole ship… hellicarrier thing lurches uncertainly to one side. I land on the floor, my table knocked to one side and my things that had been on it where scattered across the floor. Me, of course, practically on top of half of them, wondering how in the hell I keep getting injured. I groan, I'm hurting all over again. This is not fun. Not at all. You'd think if I was sent to another universe for whatever reason, it would be more important, or at least more interesting, than constantly falling on my ass and getting myself injured. As a matter of fact, why was I here? Maybe I was too big of a believer in fate rather than chance or some other silly nonsense of the sort, but it didn't make sense to me that I would simply appear here because I fell over and hit my head. That would be a very pathetic magical power.

I lie there for an uncertain amount of time, cringing in pain and wondering what's going on when someone whooshes open the door. I look over as I sit up, groaning. They're wearing a SHIELD uniform, but there is a look on his face that gives me the willies.
"You're an odd prisoner." He states simply, but shrugs. I can hear footsteps coming down towards us and he turns and shoots them. My eyes are wide when I realize why it must be that he gave me the willies. He was one of Loki's men. He's just in disguise. "But you might want to abandon ship."

That's all he says before he walks off. I know what's going on now. This is when Loki breaks out. I certainly have bad timing, don't I? I should probably stay in my room so that I don't, well, you know DIE. After all, this is not exactly anything that I have any sort of experience with. I can't fight, I'm not even in the shape for it. I would very likely end up getting myself killed.

So why am I practically crawling over to the door instead of hiding in a corner? I'm going to assume it's because I am a nice person and I hear someone groaning in pain and I'm thinking I can drag them in here with me and hope that I remember enough first aid from when I was in high school to make sure they don't die. That's what I'd like to believe it is, but as soon as I stick my head out the door and see the actually SHIELD agent, clutching their gut and realizing that I really have no idea what they're doing is when I realize that's not the case. Really, I'm just crazy at this point. I go over to the man and he looks up at me. I'm panicing a little, having no idea what to do.

"What do I need to do?" I ask him desperately, hoping he has more medical knowledge than me. Of course, as luck would have it, he doesn't, and he decides instead to give me an order.

"Stop Loki." He groans, taking his out a handgun out and pressing it into my hands. Wide eyed and having no idea what else to do, I take it and sit there for a moment staring at him before he speaks, "Go."

Yup. Officially bat-shit crazy. Because that's exactly what I do. I stand up and run to where I think I remember Loki's cell being. I suppose I can't argue. Some guy, some soldier, just gave me his dying request to help with all of this. Who am I to say no? Not that I know how to fire a gun. I don't even think I'm holding it right. This is the first time I've ever actually held a gun. And guns are freaking heavy. I'm on my way over to the cell and I realize I have no idea what I'll do if the doors aren't open. I'll probably stand there like an idiot, really. I'm trying to ignore the smell of burning somewhere, the people I'm stepping over and everything else that's going on. If I do, I think I'm going to start retching and I'll have another panic attack. It must be adrenaline, because I don't have any idea how I'm standing otherwise.

And suddenly I'm in front of the last set of doors, which are luckily open for me, when I hear Coulson. "Step away please."

I know what's going to happen, and here I am, standing close enough to do something about it and. Oh my God, I really am freaking crazy. I'm starting to think that this whole spectacle has a purpose, but I step in carefully into the room with Loki's cell and I see Loki standing behind Coulson with his sceptre, prepared to strike. And something propels me forward, running into Loki. And I say something because it certainly isn't my brain. Because me running into the God of Mischief doesn't really do much of anything, I think. He still stabs Coulson, and I don't think I affected him at all. He swipes at me with his arm, as one would a fly and I go flying back into the railing behind me. And oh my god it hurts. I hit the railing so hard with my back that I know it'll bruise. And it feels like a may have cracked a rib. And my head is spinning and painful once again. The gun the soldier handed me is officially gone, as well. Skidded off somewhere. Probably for the best.

Loki presses the button, sending Thor plummeting down to Earth. He'll be fine. I do know that one. I'm crawling over to Coulson, wincing with every movement. This whole thing is insane already, but I like Coulson. I don't want him to die. I approach him just as he fires the 'Destroyer Gun' at Loki, sending him back and through the wall.

"So that's what it does." He says with a slight smile on his face. I sit up and flail once again, looking at him helplessly.

"Don't die, oh my God, don't die Coulson!" I'm muttering and after remembering what you're supposed to do, I press my hands against the wound. Yea, my first aid training has been awhile. I really have no idea if it will do any good, but I am trying it anyways, ignoring the gun across his lap. He's watching me with a slightly curious expression for a moment.

"Get his sceptre." He tells me. I pause, looking over at where Loki went through the wall, then back at Coulson. He nods at me and I let go of the wound, my hands covered in blood and stand up, shaking terribly as I walk over. I stumble on the step, but I keep going. I step through the hole and look around. And see nothing. My breathing is starting to pick up again.

Loki suddenly appears in front of me and I make a rather pathetic sounding noise that is somewhere between a scream and a squeak.
"I don't want any more delays." He growls at me, grabbing my arm tightly and turning me around so that I'm facing Coulson. His gun is making that 'humming' charged noise again and Loki is using me as a meat shield. I stay between the God of Mischief and Coulson and the Agent doesn't shoot at us, at him, again. He brings me out of the room with him and pauses there for a moment, sending me a wicked look back. "You were good for something, at least. Though I certainly didn't bring you here."

My hands are covered in blood, and I stare at it in terror for a moment before wiping them on my pants. Then, I'm clutching my chest as I feel my heart rate continue to rise, I glare at him. Or try to. My eyes are too wide to actually be glaring, in the end as I'm bent over, panting slightly. He turns to walk away, leaving me there to fend for myself. For whatever reason, it bothers me. A lot.

"Thanos certainly didn't send me." I bite out to his back as he steps away. When I say this, he stops, turning towards me with wide eyes. I realize what I said and step back, stumbling slightly over a piece of... Something. Or nothing. I'm starting to shake again.

"How do you-" He growls dangerously, taking a step forward, his eyes narrowing. The ship lurches uncertainly again, pitching me forward slightly, sending me falling forward and hitting my head once again. The world goes black again.

o0o
This time when I wake up I feel a hell of a lot worse than I did the first time I'd woken up in this insanity. My back is killing me, and I can practically feel the marks on it. The front of my chest is hurting, where I am now starting to think that I did more than crack a rib. My head is pounding as well. I whimper, clutching myself and not even bothering to stop the tears. My whole world is spinning and I don't want to open my eyes as I feel someone grab my arm.
"Wake up, girl." I don't recognize the voice, but it's loud and right next to my ear. Someone else says something in the background that I can't understand them. I don't care though, but I feel a needle go into my arm before I pass out again.
o0o
The pain is definitely dampened when I wake up this time, though. I can still feel the dull pain well, everywhere on my body, but its just that. Dull. I open my eyes and find everything blurry. I blink a few times as my contacts readjust, dry as they are and shifting uncomfortably against my eyeball. I do not want to be here. Wherever here is. I force myself to sit up when I find no answers in the ceiling. And recognize vaguely where I am. Inside of Stark Towers.

"What...?" Is what I ask before Loki comes into my line of sight once again. He grabs me by the front of my shirt and looks slightly desperate.

"How did you know about the Titan?" He asks me, a desperate, pleading and angry bite to his voice. I'm trying to talk, but my mouth opens and closes without forming words of its own accord. I feel entirely too weak. He growls and shoves me back unto the couch, leaving me there and walking away. "I have a battle to win. You will tell me after."

I nod, numbly, and look around. This whole thing is freaking crazy and I do not want to be here. I notice, however, what I'm close to and decide why the hell not. Standing up, I get barely even a glance from the Asgardian as I stumble my way to the bar. I still think I am absolutely crazy and you know what will help me cure that at this point. Liquor. My hands are shaking and my mind feels fuzzy when I look at the unlabeled bottles, my vision still a bit blurry. I open one, sniff it and sigh with some joy. It's rum. I love rum. I don't even bother grabbing a glass before I hobble back over to the couch, plopping myself down on it and taking a long drag of the liquid.
It is really good rum, even. I sigh a little happily as I find myself sinking into the couch and hear a sort of muffled explosion from above, ignoring what is around me as best as I can. If I am going to die as collateral in this, at least I'm going to do it drunk.

Iron Man appears a few minutes later, and I can hear him from my seat. I'm starting to feel the liquor, mixed with whatever else is in me at this point and I'm having a hard time focusing on what they're saying. Except some parts which make me chuckle.

"Care for a drink?" Tony offers Loki. I bark out a laugh and hold up the bottle of rum I looted from his bar.

"I got some!" I say.

"What are you doing here, with my rum?!" Tony asks, surprised. I laugh.

"I dunno. Just hoping I don't die." I answer before lying down on the couch and ignoring the next few words of conversation between the two men. I think they start to ignore me, because I don't hear my name or anything.

But I do hear it when Tony is thrown through the window. And for next hour, two hours, however long the battle actually lasts, I'm sitting there nursing my bottle of rum and waiting for the battle to end. Loki doesn't come over to ask me about Thanos again, and I'm glad, because he seems too busy with everything else that's going on to bother. I am not a fighter, and I'm already beaten up pretty badly from my one small attempt at trying to be one. So I sit here and watch absently as everything happens. I can see out one of the windows, and every time I see one of the Chitauri aliens go by, I make a face at them.

And I wave at the Hulk when he comes smashing in and attacking Loki after his little speech. The green beast sees me, but keeps walking. I am very obviously not a threat to anyone right now. Or ever, really. Soon the battle is over and I hear Loki says his amusing line from the end of the movie.
"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll have that drink now." I hear him. I chuckle.

"I've some!" I slur-shout at him. They all seem to realize that I'm still there and after Thor produces cuffs and the mouth guard for Loki, they come over to me. I'm sitting there with the bottle of rum when Steve and Tony come over to me. "Hi there Avengers! I think I'm drunk now. Can I come with you to get shawarma? I think it'll make me less drunk."

The two men look over at each other and shrug. Steve helps me up and soon we're on our way to the small restaurant before even worrying about what to do with Loki, since he's gagged and chained. I do have to admit that I feel pretty special as I'm eating this shawarma with the Avengers who just saved the world while I just sat there drunk in Stark Tower hoping that I didn't get injured any more. I hid like a coward for the final battle for Earth. Not that I could have done anything. After all, I'm not a super hero.

After shawarma though, they give me back over to Fury while Loki and Thor return to Asgard. At least at this point, I am definitely feeling a lot less drunk. Except whatever it was that they gave me earlier is started to fade and my body is starting to hurt again. But they put me in an infirmary with some other SHIELD agents instead of in a locked cell and I have to wonder why. I don't get time to ask Fury, however, as he leaves, probably to talk to the council. I pass out on the infirmary bed, oddly hearing a familiar voice in the bed next to mine. One I don't think I should hear, but that I'm too tired to figure out why.

AN: Reviews are loved! If anyone wants to follow my tie-in RP tumblr blog its .com . It's an RP blog for Amelia. If you're coming from here, let me know! I'd love to RP with anyone. Also, FYI, the next chapter on will be different from my original story for this. Just fair warning if you've read that one.