DISCLAIMER!

THE FOLLOWING IS ONE OF MANY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS DONJUSTICIA IS LAVISHING ON SHIMMERING-SKY ON HER SPECIAL DAY. B-B-B-B-B-BUT N-N-N-N-N-NOT BECAUSE HE LIKES HER WRITING…OR ANYTHING…YOU STUPID BAKAS! READ THE ORIGINAL STORY BY SHIMMERING-SKY AND DOCCY LARSSON SERAPHIM!

"Hey, ma'am, do you happen to know what time it is? / "DIE, FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY RAY-SENPAI!"

What Ray Said:

I like to think that I am a responsible girl. That's why when Zarc asked me to meet him at 12:00 at night in the middle of Sleazebucket Alley for a "date" (and yes, for some reason he put that word in quotes) I made sure to put on my absolutely most eye-catching clothing and lipstick while only packing one canister of pepper spray in my purse in the very, very, very, very unlikely event that someone with evil intentions saw me in the dark and secluded meeting point where nobody, not even the cops, can hear you scream.

I settle on one of the benches, brushing off all the used syringes when suddenly, completely out of the blue, a strange man in a rather ragged trench coat approaches me.

"Hey, ma'am, do you happen to know what time it is?" the man asks, indicating his bare wrist where his watch would be if he could afford one.

I quickly whip out my phone, I mean, Duel Disk, before glancing at the time.

"It's almost 12:15," I mutter, frustrated that Zarc has decided to arrive late again. Where is that baka anyway?

"Mighty obliged, ma'am," the shady man replies with a respectful tip of his hat. "It's nice to meet a kind young lady like you every once in a while," he adds, gently patting my hand before turning to leave.

He barely manages to make it two steps before Zarc suddenly descends from above and begins pummeling the man with rather demonic fury.

"DIE, FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY RAY-SENPAI!" Zarc roars while pummeling the man I just barely finished speaking to into the pavement. "I SHALL TEAR YOU APART AND FEED WHAT IS LEFT OF YOU TO MY DRAGON FRIENDS WHO I TALK TO ON A REGULAR BASIS IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT!"

"Zarc, stop beating up the innocent bystander," I sigh, feeling annoyed that Zarc still thinks he needs to devour the souls of anyone who even remotely threatens his relationship with me.

"Seriously, man," I continue, "I was just talking to him. You need to calm down."

"MY RAGE SHALL NEVER BE SATIATED!" Zarc roars back, punching the man until a crater opens up in the pavement. "EVEN IF I LITERALLY HAVE TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE IN A GENOCIDAL RAMPAGE, I SHALL NEVER LET ANYONE HURT YOU, MY BELOVED RAY!"

"Zarc…" I groan.

"…AND AFTER I FINISH ANNIHILATING EVERY BOY THAT EVER GLANCED IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION…"

"Zarc?"

"OR EVEN DARED TO SPEAK YOUR NAME…"

"Zarc!"

"LIKE…EVEN IF THEY JUST CASUALLY SAID 'RAY' IN A SENTENCE ABOUT SUNLIGHT…THEN I SHALL NOT STOP UNTIL THEY ARE ALL DESTROYED!"

"ZARC!" I shout, finally getting my boyfriend's attention.

"What is it, my sweet, beloved, darling, angelic Ray-Senpai who I would literally do anything, and I mean…ANYTHING…for?" Zarc asks, momentarily pausing in his annihilation of the now unconscious man.

"Look, I know you're just trying to protect me and all," I explain, as I brush the unconscious man under a nearby bench with my foot. "But you can't just overreact all the time and disintegrate everyone who glances in my general direction."

"I disintegrate just one guy," Zarc mutters, "and I never get to live it down."

"Zarc, are you listening to me?" I sigh.

"Yes, ma'am." Zarc replies, looking me square in the eyes.

I roll my eyes at him but continue, "Look, Zarc, it's really sweet that you have such an unhealthy obsession over me, but I don't need you to be so overprotective. I can handle myself."

"But what if someone really tries to hurt you!?" Zarc moans, nervously wringing his hands together. "The voices in my head have been telling me that everyone is plotting to take you from me! And my dragons have been noticing it too! I can't let that happen! I can't let ANYTHING come between us!"

"I'm just saying it's a little excessive. Can't you…I don't know…tone it down a bit?" I ask.

Zarc seems to consider my words for a minute.

"Okay…I'm sorry," he replies, hanging his head down in shame. "I didn't realize I was upsetting you. I'll try not to overreact in the future…even though I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much and will continue to fret over your safety every second of my life."

"Oh, my gosh, hearing you obsess over me turns me on so much!" I breathe, stepping towards Zarc.
"Wait, you're feeling…?"

I shut him up by shoving my lips against his face.

WHAT ZARC HEARD:

"Crap, crap, crap!" I think to myself as I use my demonic super speed to sprint across the dark shady alleyways where nobody, not even the police, can hear you scream. "I can't believe I'm late for our 'date!'" And yes, I put that in quotation marks, I'm honestly not sure why.

"Oh, don't you worry!" says Starve Venom Fusion Dragon, trying to reassure me. "Ray will forgive you for being a teensy bit late. And besides, after you show her the sweet gift you bought for her, she will be so overjoyed…" he begins to squeal with delight from all eight of his mouths, "…she'll forget all about you being late and just wanna love you as much as you love her!"

"You're the reason I'm late in the first place!" I growl at Starve Venom. "If you hadn't held me up at the department store just so you could buy Moon-Light Leo Dancer a copy of Moon Mirror Shield, then I might have been able to be meet Ray on time!"

"I just thought Leo Dancer would look great with Moon Mirror Shield," Starve Venom whines.

"Oh, please," Clear Wing huffs, sounding extremely annoyed. "Moon Mirror Shield is the last thing Leo Dancer needs. It doesn't even mesh well with her play style. Sorry, Venom, but you're not winning any points with your girlfriend that way."

"And speaking of which…why did you feel the need to buy Winter Bell a combination washer and dryer, Clear Wing!?" I growl at my Synchro Dragon as I cradle his massive gift for Wind Witch Winter Bell under my arm. Seriously, if it wasn't for my demonic physic, I don't think I'd even be able to lift this thing.

"It is common and customary in many cultures to greet friends with a gift," Clear Wing indignantly replies. "And yes, Winter Bell and I are strictly platonic friends. Absolutely nothing romantic between us."

"Yep!" Dark Rebellion agrees, "That's why I made this rad mix-tape for Assembly Nightingale! Imma jam my way straight to yo' heart, baby!"

"Don't you dare play that mix-tape!" Clear Wing growls.

"Why not?" Dark Rebellion teases. "Ya'll afraid my mad rappin' skills goin' get between you and yo' girlfriend, Winter Bell's…" he chuckles, "…BIG BELL!?"

"WHY, YOU LITTLE…!" Clear Wing raves at Dark Rebellion before the two of them start wrestling…which doesn't really amount to much except for the cards in my Extra Deck getting shuffled a little bit as their cards bump into each other.

"Look at you, idiots." Says Odd-Eyes, shaking his head with disapproval, "Getting tangled up in those ridiculous relationships with your girlfriends when you should be preparing to utterly destroy the human race like we are destined to do."

"I think you mean entertain the human race like we are destined to do," Starve Venom corrects Odd-Eyes with a laugh.

"Oh, we'll entertain them," Odd-Eyes darkly replies with a low growl. "We'll entertain them more than they can bear! AND WE'LL DO IT WITHOUT THE NEED FOR GIRLFRIENDS!" he adds when Dark Rebellion and Clear Wing start fighting again.

"But what about you and Bloom Prima?" Starve Venom innocently asks, to which Odd-Eyes begins furiously blushing.

"Don't you…I mean…I just…she isn't…we're not…I just like her…I mean…I don't…I mean…I-I…SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Odd-Eyes furiously stammers.

"QUIET, ALL OF YOU!" I roar at my dragons, shutting them up as I reach the dark, shady alleyway where Ray and I agreed to meet in the middle of the night for our "date." Quickly, I straighten out my spiky white-and-green hair before taking several deep breaths and approaching the bench where Ray is sitting.

That's when my heart freezes.

Standing above Ray is a strange man, eyes gleaming with malevolent and lecherous intent as he stands far too close to her for his own good.

"Blah, blah, blah, I belong only to Zarc and will never give my heart to you strange man who is obviously about to do something seriously evil to me," Says Ray with defiance in her voice.

"Blah, blah, blah, I am obviously a super evil guy who kidnaps girls like you, and there is absolutely no way you can stop me unless Zarc decides to intervene," the evil man laughs.

That's when I snap.

The next moments are a blur as I charge at the man with all my demonic dragon rage and fury. As I slam my fists into the vile villain, I'm not even aware of what I am saying, or anything else that is going on around me. All I know is that I wan't to hurt him, to punish him, TO DESTROY THE FILTHY HUMAN WHO DARED TOUCH MY BELOVED RAY-SENPAI!

"ZARC!" My sweet, beloved, darling Ray-Senpai, who I just barely managed to save from harm, shouts at me, breaking me out of my trance.

"What is it, my sweet, beloved, darling, angelic Ray-Senpai who I would literally do anything, and I mean…ANYTHING…for?" I ask, momentarily pausing in my annihilation of the now unconscious man, who I will probably later revive as an undead zombie through the powers of darkness just so I can destroy him again.

"Look, I know you're just trying to protect me and all," Ray explain, as she brushes the unconscious man under a nearby bench with her foot. That's right, Ray, you show that villain what happens when someone tries to hurt you! "But you can't just overreact…"

Overreact? But I thought you were supposed to destroy the people who threatened the people you loved.

"…all the time and disintegrate everyone who glances in my general direction," Ray finishes.

Despite myself, I feel a little annoyed at the last comment.

"I disintegrate just one guy," I mutter, thinking back on the rather embarrassing incident that involved a rather lewd mailman who had the audacity to look at Ray's face for more than five seconds and my ability to manifest the destructive power of Raigeki into the physical world, "and I never get to live it down."

"Zarc, are you listening to me?" Ray sighs.

"Yes, ma'am," I reply, not wanting to offend Ray, especially after she has gone through such an obviously traumatic experience with a strange guy nearly harming her.

"Look, Zarc," Ray patiently continues, "it's really sweet that you have such an unhealthy obsession over me, but I don't need you to be so overprotective. I can handle myself."

"But what if someone really tries to hurt you!?" I moan, nervously wringing my hands together as I think of the many horrific fates that could befall Ray, which the voices in my head have been warning me about. "The voices in my head have been telling me that everyone is plotting to take you from me! And my dragons have been noticing it too!"

"You got that right!" Dark Rebellion agrees. "Ain't nobody gonna hurt my Nightingale!"

"I love you, Dark Rebellion!" Assembly Nightingale chirps from Ray's Extra Deck.

"I know you do, baby! That's why I made this mix-tape so we could celebrate our-…"

"DON'T YOU PLAY THAT MIX-TAPE!" Clear Wing growls.

"I can't let that happen!" I continue, ignoring my dragon's bickering, "I can't let ANYTHING come between us!"

Ray seems to be a little exasperated. "I'm just saying it's a little excessive. Can't you…I don't know…tone it down a bit?"

Ray is clearly upset. I was only trying to protect her…from anyone and everything that could pose even a minor threat to her in any way, shape, manner, or form…but I suppose I have been taking it…just an eensy bit too far. Maybe I do need to let her handle herself…occasionally…when I am absolutely certain that absolutely nobody is spying on us and watching us and planning to separate us at this very moment! I should check the walls right now! You never know where they could be hiding! JUST YOU WAIT, CREEPS! I'M ONTO YOU! I WON'T LET ANY OF YOU…oh, wait, I should probably apologize to Ray now.

"Okay…I'm sorry," I reply, hanging my head down in shame. "I didn't realize I was upsetting you. I'll try not to overreact in the future…even though I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much and will continue to fret over your safety every second of my life."

"Oh, my gosh, hearing you obsess over me turns me on so much!" Ray breathes, stepping towards me.

"Wait, you're feeling…?"

She shuts me up by shoving her lips against my face.