#41 Jacket
Characters: Usagi/the senshi/Mamoru
Words: 1,314

"Are you sure that thing isn't broken?"

Usagi glared mistrustfully at the palm-sized computer Ami held, which was currently running an experimental GPS mode and honing in on a stray youma. Well, that was the theory, anyway. Usagi had her doubts. "It's been leading us all over the city, and so far we haven't found the stupid youma. What if it's picking up like a … a moth or a bird or something?"

"Then it's probably an evil, soul-sucking moth or bird," Makoto put in cheerfully.

"Change of direction, girls," Ami announced, and they hastily backtracked, attempting to catch up with the fast-moving little blip on the computer screen.

"Don't youma ever get tired?" Usagi wailed. "It's six o'clock and I'm missing my favorite anime on TV!"

"Grow up, Odango-brains!" Rei hollered. "Catching a rampaging youma is more important than some stupid anime!" That didn't keep her from discreetly checking her own watch when nobody was looking.

"Hey, isn't that Mamoru's apartment complex?" Minako pointed to a large, ritzy-looking building right across the street.

"Hey, yeah, it is!" Rei suddenly looked a lot more cheerful. "Maybe we can stop in to visit?"

"But, Rei, catching rampaging youma is more important than visiting some baka," Usagi mimicked snidely, earning a kick in the shin.

"Uh, girls?" Ami shifted nervously. "It … uh … seems that our youma has gone into that building."

"What?"

Shoving Usagi away, Rei purred, "Well, what a coincidence! We can catch our youma and visit Mamoru at the same time!"

"I've always wondered what his apartment looks like," Makoto admitted.

"Maybe Motoki-san will be with him!" Minako added with starry eyes.

"I'll bet he has a fantastic library. I always see him carrying medical books," Ami sighed dreamily.

Usagi gaped at her friends, realizing that there was probably no talking sense into any of them. "But … but…" she tried to protest, but Makoto and Minako already had her by both arms and were dragging her backwards across the street.

"Come on, fearless leader!" Makoto chirped. "No time like the present for some serious youma ass-whomping!"

"But—"

"We won't take long, and maybe Mamoru will offer refreshments. Seeing as how we just rid his building of a horrible monster and all."

"But he doesn't even know we fight evil!"

"Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll offer us refreshments anyway. It's the polite thing to do."

By that time, they'd succeeded in wrestling Usagi into the elevator, where Ami instructed Rei to punch the seventeenth floor. "That's Mamoru's floor," Rei said with surprise. She'd visited Mamoru before.

"Gee. Lucky us," Usagi grumbled.

The elevator arrived, and they tumbled out in a heap. Ami followed the little blip down the hallway about five doors, stopping before a door whose number read 1506 and whose nameplate read Chiba, Mamoru.

Five jaws dropped respectively.

"No. Way," Makoto breathed.

"I always knew he was evil," Usagi added smugly.

Rei responded with a whap upside the head.

"Um, shouldn't we change costume or something?" Makoto suggested.

"And how're we supposed to explain to Mamoru why the Senshi just showed up outside his apartment?"

"Well, gee. Maybe 'cause there's a youma inside his apartment?"

"More like 'cause he is the youm—OW! Stop it, Rei!"

"Well, only one way to find out!" Minako cheerfully rang the doorbell.

"The toll of doom," Usagi grumbled, rubbing her sore head. "Are you sure I can't just dust him and ask questions later?"

"NO!"

"Eh … no … what?" Mamoru stood in the doorway, having just opened the door, and was now blinking down at the five girls standing in the hallway, attempting to clear his ringing ears. "Um, what are you all doing here?"

"Think fast," Makoto muttered to Rei, who immediately stepped forward and flashed a bright smile.

"Hi, Mamoru-san!" she chirped. "We were in the neighborhood and thought we'd come by a bit to visit! You don't mind, do you?"

"Uh, well…" Mamoru glanced nervously around, not at all comfortable with the thought of five teenage girls invading his home. Particularly these teenage girls. Still, seeing no way to send them off without being rude, he reluctantly stepped aside and let them in.

"Oh, wow!" Minako gushed, spinning around. "This place is great! I bet you have a lot of parties here, huh?"

"Eh … not really."

"What a great kitchen!" Makoto exclaimed, beelining right for it as she gestured discreetly toward the girls.

"Um…" Mamoru hastily followed Makoto into the kitchen, and as soon as they disappeared, there was a frenzy of gestures and hisses.

"Where's the youma?"

"That way, about ten feet."

"There can't be a youma in here. Don't you think he'd have noticed a big, ugly monster in his apartment?"

"Not if he is the—Ha! Missed me, Rei!"

"Quick, check it out while he's distracted!"

They hastily made their way across the wide room, toward what looked like a closet. Minako carefully opened the door as everyone tensed to tackle whatever came flying out. However, once open, they merely stood there and gaped, jaws dropping as their eyes took in the sight of something more horrible than anything even they could have imagined.

There were no less than six familiar, exceedingly ugly green blazers hanging neatly in the closet, except for one, which had apparently slipped off its hanger. When Usagi picked it up, it was still warm from its owner's body heat.

The compact computer in Ami's hand abruptly gave a satisfied beep and shut off with a click, its work completed.

"We've been … following a jacket?" Rei asked weakly.

"The jacket … that Mamoru was probably wearing as he went on his errands," Ami replied. She eyed her computer doubtfully. Maybe it was malfunctioning.

"Wow," Minako gasped. "You were right, Usagi. Mamoru is evil!"

"Well, that jacket is, anyway." Usagi eyeballed the green wool with distaste. "And what's with the rest of them? What guy in his right mind would want six identical jackets? It's like fashion victim hell in here!"

"Oh, sweet merciful saints, it must be spawning," Minako breathed with fascinated horror. "Kill it quick, before the evil spreads further!"

"There's only one thing to do," Usagi stated grimly. "It's for his own good." She reached for her locket, only to be stopped by Rei.

"We can't henshin in here! Mamoru's right there."

"We gotta do something! Even I don't hate the guy enough to let him be brainwashed by the spawn of evil! Besides, it might be contagious!" Both she and Minako shuddered.

"Okay, I have an idea. Hurry!" Ami whispered, and there was more scuffling as they set to work saving Mamoru from … his fashion sense.

When Mamoru finally talked Makoto back out of his kitchen, he was surprised to see the others standing exactly where he'd left them, all bunched together in a little group as if they'd somehow glued themselves together when he wasn't looking. "Well, it's been great seeing you, Mamoru," Rei chirped, "but we've gotta run now. Homework to do. Dinner to eat. You know how it goes. See you later, okay?"

He blinked. "I … uh … But you just—" he stuttered, but his guests were already edging to the door.

"Later!" Makoto sang as she skipped toward them, and with a series of pushes and shoves, the entire gaggle of them tumbled into the hall and beat a hasty retreat. Mamoru followed them out, thoroughly confused, and watched them pile into the elevator. He noticed that some of them seemed … suspiciously lumpy around the middle. "What the—?"

Shaking his head, he stepped back inside his apartment. And then a terrible suspicion hit him. Eyes widening, he turned slowly toward his closet, expecting to see the door closed as it always was.

It stood wide open, its empty, cavernous depths gaping back at him.

His beloved green jackets—every one of them—were gone.

"Noooooo!"