Author's Ramble: Hey everyone! Thanks to all the people who have faved and put this story on their alerts. Really appreciate it. But if you guys could drop me just a few reviews, that'd be great. I'm finding that my brain's sort of fried. I've got exams for the next two weeks. The reviews help with the mental blockage. ; )

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or mentioned characters, I also don't own the song Fire, by Kimya Dawson.

You swallow hard and you bottle it up

Try to pretend you're a half full cup

Believe what they're feeding, you're eating it up

While I'm reading books about how they're corrupt

I'm reading books about how they're corrupt . . .

- Fire, Kimya Dawson

Five Years Ago

The concert hall that was now slowly being filled with students echoed the noisy chatter of the five hundred some pupils making way to start their year at Oldtown Conservatory. Roxas had already sat down in one of the old pews and waited with his head down for the assembly to begin. A part of him nagged to lift his eyes and look for the boy named Riku. After introducing themselves, Riku had gone on to explain that the classroom they were in belonged to Professor Strife, and he was rare to give anyone permission to play his precious grand piano.

"No one's allowed to play his baby," Riku had laughed good-naturedly, making his pale pink lips part in a sweet, smiling laugh and his pretty nose to crinkle. Not that Roxas noticed any of this of course. "But if he heard you sing like that, I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Despite the compliment, Roxas was embarrassed by being caught playing such a prized piano on top of singing alone. The sad boy tried to quickly forget the warm feeling that swelled up in his heart when Riku had told him his voice sounded so nice. Or that look he'd given him when he'd finished singing… The overwhelming feeling was tinged with a warning in the back of his head, and it sent a different kind of feeling rippling through his stomach. Fear. Fear of someone knowing who he was. He left Riku with a mumbled apology and no explanation. He hadn't looked back to see the silver haired boy with his eyes sad and his hand out stretched as if to say, please don't leave. The nervous blonde had retreated up to his room to lie on his bed and think about nothing till he fell asleep. The next two days he stayed shut up in his room, just as he planned at his arrival, leaving only form meals in the dining hall (and most of the time arriving just before the food was finished being served) and to use the bathroom. His roommate, Zexion, had gotten the drift and had left Roxas alone to his thoughts.

But now here was Roxas, thinking vainly of trying to spot a head of silver hair among the crowd of students filling in, despite the knowledge that he'd vowed to never get attached to someone like that again. Because there was no way he could look at Riku and not think about how beautiful he was. Therefore there was no way he could think of Riku just being a friend. Not to mention the last time he'd fallen for someone who was too attractive—

STOP!

Roxas thumped his head onto the row of pews in front of his and gripped at his spiky hair with trembling hands. Sometimes he had to get his thoughts to stop before it sent him somewhere terrible. He practiced his skill of thinking of nothing for a moment before a naughty voice in the back of his head nudged him to look around for Riku. After a brief mind wrestle, the voice in the back of his head won. Deciding it couldn't hurt to take a small look around, Roxas slowly brought his head up from where it had been resting on the hard wood of the pew. He glanced up at the empty stage of the concert hall that had once been used for worship. The place still had tall stain glassed windows. The hall was located to the south of the main building, in the same building as the dining hall. Both had once been places where worshipping services had been when the Conservatory was a church. His eyes traveled casually to his right. Sitting just a few feet down on the pew was the sweet blonde girl Roxas had seen playing the flute with her feet in the fountain three days ago. She wore a pretty strapless lavender dress today and held her flute case close to her chest. She was staring right at Roxas with curious doe eyes the color of a watery blue sky. Taken aback by her intense stare, Roxas gave a slight jump, sending him sliding off the pew seat slightly. Blushing in embarrassment he looked away quickly.

"Don't be embarrassed," she said in a soft, kind voice. "I was the one staring after all."

Roxas slowly turned back to her, his fingers nervously buried into his hair. "Would you like to sit with me?" she offered, loosening her grip on her flute to gesture to the space beside her petite frame. Roxas shrugged, hoping she didn't think it was weird he bit his lip and slid over slowly. "What year are you in?"

"Sophomore," he replied, albeit his eyes were still itching to find Riku and to ignore the girl beside him.

"Me too." She smiled brightly and pushed a strand of striking blonde hair out of her eyes. "My name's Naminé." She didn't say another word, simply looked forward at the stage and allowed Roxas to his thoughts. He skimmed the sea of students quickly, and found his mark. There was a shock of platinum hair at the back left of the auditorium, next to cinnamon spikes and light brown, straight locks. Roxas caught sight of his face once. He was laughing, smiling at one of his friends with a smoldering gaze.

It felt like Roxas' heart had just dropped into his stomach and was slowly dissolving.

"Oh. You've spotted Riku."

Roxas' eyes flickered back to the girl beside him, Naminé. She had followed his gaze to Riku in the back of the hall. "Yeah," Roxas admitted with a ginger smile, kept hidden from Naminé's view of course.

"He's a sweetheart."

"Have you met him?"

Naminé smiled a slightly mischievous smile. "If you want to quiz me, I have to know your name."

It was hard not to want to crack a smile in front of Naminé. It was just the way she made Roxas feel so welcomed and given space all at the same time. "I'm Roxas."

"That's a nice name. Now, what is it you want to know about the Platinum Junior?"

"What year…"

"I think I answered that."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, he's best friends with two other sophomores named Sora and Kairi. It's sad, because everyone knows that he's madly in love with his best friend, but he never says anything. Does that give you a start?"

Roxas' heart resting in my stomach had suddenly just lodged itself up into his throat, threatening to suffocate him. Of course Riku would love that girl with the soft, light brown hair. What was he expecting?

"Oh."

"He doesn't have a clue though."

Wait. He?

Roxas strained his eyes over to the back of the auditorium again to stare at the trio hidden in the pews. Someone moved aside in the row in front of them and Roxas saw all three for the first time. In the middle was a small boy; the one Naminé said was named Sora, with the spiky cinnamon hair. He was laughing and had grabbed a hold of Riku's and the girl's arms and put them around his shoulders. The girl, Kairi, giggled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She leaned against the middle boy in such a way to suggest something more than friendship. Riku, on the other end was chuckling too and leaned against Sora's spiky hair fondly. They were all pressed together in a hug, Sora not seeing the look of longing in either of his companion's eyes.

Riku, feeling the sense of someone else's eyes on him besides Sora's, looked up instinctively, to see Roxas across the hall staring at him. He gave a small, lopsided smile and a nod of the head. Roxas felt his face flush as Kairi and Sora followed their friend's gaze to the front of the lecture hall. Roxas turned around and sat down properly at once.

Naminé was watching him with thoughtful eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but just then the stage was finally being filled with two rows of teachers. Roxas glanced them all over, noting how most didn't look at all like any teacher he was used to. Among them, he spotted the blonde man who had helped him on his first day at the Conservatory. He wore a navy blue turtleneck and different kind of smile than Roxas had ever seen on someone before.

At the end of the line of teachers was a man probably in his early thirties with chestnut hair that rested neatly on his shoulders. He had a very serious face, but it was contrasted with a smile towards the pews filled with students. As he faced the crowd, Roxas blinked, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. But he took another look and saw a faint scar running across his features, marring his otherwise perfect disposition. Roxas' mind began to wonder as to how he'd gotten that scar when the man stepped up to the single microphone on the stage. It squealed with feedback until someone finally fiddled with the soundboard and allowed it to stop in time to save everyone's ears from bleeding.

Then the scarred teacher began to speak.

"Welcome, to those of us returning, and those of us coming back, to Oldtown's Conservatory of Music and the Arts. I am Professor Leonhart, your headmaster during your stay here at our school. For those new to the Conservatory, you will be meeting shortly with your homeroom teacher for a proper orientation and explanation of how your classes will be arranged. I will announce homerooms after a few important things to keep in mind during the year."

At this point, the headmaster took a deep breath. Roxas could see in his eyes he was not a huge public speaker. It was odd seeing such a young person as a headmaster. The blonde's old headmaster had been as shriveled and stale as an old prune, and the difference between her and this Professor Leonhart were startling.

"Unfortunately, we have to start with the main rules. If you want all the nitty-gritty details, your homeroom teacher will give you a delightful read filled with rules, punishments and restrictions. But as for the rest of us, please just keep the following in mind:

"There is a strict curfew during the school week. No student should be out of his or her dorm by nine o'clock. On weekends, the curfew is till eleven o'clock.

"There are to be no weapons, drugs, alcohol or tobacco on school grounds at any time. Violators will get what's coming to them."

Like the previous crack Professor Leonhart had made about the student handbook, the hall gave a convulsive chuckle that faded down quickly as he continued on.

"Students are expected to sleep within their own dorms, no one else's. If there is an issue with your current dorm, please speak to your homeroom teacher or me.

"Students are allowed to leave school grounds during free hours of the day. However, this is a privilege that can easily be revoked. Yes, I'm looking at you Tidus."

Everyone instantly followed their gaze to a sandy haired blond in the middle of the hall, his face slightly pink but his eyes shining with laughter as he laughed and waved at his headmaster. Everyone laughed again, until Professor Leonhart hushed them with a wave of his hand and went on once more.

"Please respect the grounds and gardens, meaning no running on flower beds or climbing trees. We've given up on keeping you all out of the fountain, but that does not mean you have the right to take a bath there."

Another wave of chuckles from five hundred pupils echoed throughout the auditorium.

"If at any time you have any questions, feel free to visit my office located next to the East Studio or speak with your homeroom teachers.

"We hope this year will be just as successful as last year in helping students perusing careers in the arts. Once again this year, we're offering to all seniors help in auditioning, testing, or applying for universities specializing in certain fields, such as Julliard. If you're interested in more information, please speak to your professor of the field you're interested in perusing. Now the teaching staff will introduce themselves and explain who's in their homerooms. All freshmen will remain here for their schedules and a full orientation. For the rest, I hope you all have a wonderful year at the Conservatory."

Everyone clapped as Professor Leonhart gave up the mike to the blonde man who had helped Roxas. "I'm Professor Strife, and if I could please have sophomores and juniors last names A through G in the West Studio located just before the stairs to the Sophomore Boy's Dorms."

People started to stand up and move out of the hall. Roxas slowly stood and turned towards the trickle heading out of the hall. He passed Naminé who gave a small wave of her hand and a sad smile. Looking forward, Roxas saw that a platinum head, quickly followed by another with brown spikes were heading towards Professor Strife's room as well.

Mentally, Roxas braced himself for what might be coming as he entered the studio. He told himself over and over again that he didn't need to get involved with people right now. That was the last thing he needed to do. Especially someone like Riku… He wandered silently over to the windows and sat down in one of the high backed chairs and concentrated on his toes. Not for the first time he asked himself what he was doing here.

The room was now filled with about twenty-five students, all chatting among themselves as they waited for Professor Strife to make his way in. Roxas closed his eyes, trying to block out the noise around him. Someone tapped on his shoulder and he jumped, cerulean eyes flying open in surprise. He looked up and saw a smirking Riku above him, his silver hair spilling over his shoulders and framing his pretty face.

"Taking a nap?" he asked, a teasing note in his smooth voice.

"I—I…" Roxas stuttered, then finally bit his cracked lip. Better to just admit defeat before words failed him. Riku laughed and in one fluid movement was slumped in a chair beside Roxas, his eyes half closed and his arms stretched out so he was almost touching Roxas' shoulder. The blonde instinctively flinched away, causing the silver haired boy to raise a quizzical eyebrow.

Just then, the other chair beside Riku was filled with an energetic brunette who had just bounded across the room and plopped down. He had a big, happy smile that was more enduring than Riku's alluring half-smile. It was the boy that Naminé had pointed out as Sora. "Riku, who's this? Have you been sneaking around meeting shady strangers again?"

Riku sat up, and the slight tightness to his face showed Roxas for the first time a touch of apprehension in the confident boy's expression. Sora obviously realized he had said the wrong thing and his bright smile flickered for a moment, before Riku turned back to Roxas, the apprehension now totally gone from his face. Instead, there was that charming smile that Roxas cursed and blessed for being so friendly and tempting. "Sorry about him," he apologized, waving a hand at Sora, who crossed his arms and stood up to stand between Roxas and Riku's chairs. "Roxas, this is Sora. He's like five energy drinks on steroids. So, naturally, he's your kind of person." Riku flashed Roxas a smile from underneath the shade of his long hair. It was a secret smile, hidden from everyone but Roxas, the receiver. For some reason, this seemed very significant to the hesitant singer. "Sora, this is Roxas. A man of few words."

That's a way to put it nicely.

Sora gave Roxas a smile and a slight wave of his hand. "Hiya Roxas! How do you know Riku?"

Roxas opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, closed it again and just settled for a shrug. Sora gave a puzzled stare until Riku swept in to the rescue. "We met a few days ago in a practice room." Roxas noted how Riku conveniently left out the detail that Roxas had played Professor Strife's piano, or that Riku had been listening to Roxas sing. "Roxas is going to be in your choir."

"Really?" Sora said. His expression was excited, welcoming, but Roxas could read the look in his eyes. He was curious as to how someone who could hardly say a word would ever be able to sing in front of anyone.

Thankfully, at that moment the door of the chorus studio opened again and in came the flaxen haired and charming Professor Strife. Roxas concluded that the choir director had to be only just out of his twenties, if even that. "Sorry about that," he called to the group. "Now, if everyone could please take a seat. I just need to distribute some papers you need to read and sign. I also have copies of your schedules if anyone needs one. At ten o'clock you all need to head to your first class. You'll only have fifteen minutes of each class today, as it's only a half-day. Tomorrow will be the real start of the year, and I hope those of you in my class are prepared."

Roxas felt his stomach do a flip. He hoped to God he didn't have to sing in front of the class as a class requirement. The homeroom began to move around, picking up papers and beginning to fill them out. A few wandered over to Professor Strife to ask a question about schedules or something else. Roxas grabbed his papers and flopped back into his chair, filling them out in his scribbled handwriting as quickly as possible. Riku took his papers and sat back down, while Sora seemed to wander about the room, talking to everyone. The blonde could see how Sora had the ability to befriend everyone.

No wonder Riku likes him.

"Hey."

Roxas gave a startled jump at Riku's voice. He'd been staring deeply into the wood of the floor, thinking of how different things could have been at his first day at this school. Riku's head was tilted to the side, his longer hair spilling over his shoulders as he stared at the nervous boy. "Hm?" Roxas managed to sound normal.

"There's a carnival in town this weekend. Sora's taking his girlfriend, Kairi, and there's a few other people going. But I usually hang out with those two, and lately I've been the odd man out. Want to come? We could ride the roller coaster till we throw up."

Roxas was pretty sure he was going to have a heart palpitation. He took a shaky breath and asked himself what he wanted. Not what he wanted right then (which was currently crawl into a hole and die), but what he wanted for the rest of his high school years. What he wanted after that. Did he want to look back on his experience here and only remember wanting to kill himself with a conductor's rod?

At least he would be able to remember Riku, even if in the end nothing else came of it but a polite, pity friendship.

"I-I'd like that."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Three words in one sitting. I'm getting somewhere."

Roxas gave a ghost of a smile and stood up as the clock ticked to the ten. He didn't say another word as he left, knowing that behind him Riku was smiling.