Someone told me I should get mental help. He is probably right but as long as I'm in denial here is the next chapter.
Chapter 3
Derek watched the clock. He was supposed to do paperwork but he barely did that anymore. It had been two months since Meredith's disappearance. He missed her so much his body hurt. He couldn't stand anything that reminded him of her. And that was a lot. He never realized how intertwined their lives had gotten. They shared a house, work, colleagues, friends even a house. His favorite spots had turned into their favorite spots. He didn't want to think about her because then he'd become so scared. But at the same time he felt guilty that he tried to forget. He was sure she was somewhere out there. And he felt he had to keep hope. He thought he had to hope but the hope was tearing him down. Everyday he told himself that they would find her. And everyday he was disappointed. And it always felt like a slap in the face. He hadn't had a proper night sleep since she disappeared and it started to show. The other doctors always looked concerned. They wanted to be there for him but he just couldn't open up to them. He had opened up to her and now she wasn't there.
There was a knock on the door and Yang came in. Lately it was rare to see her out of surgery. She didn't take Meredith's absence well. She buried herself in surgeries so she didn't have to think about her. She was the only one Derek could bear to be around. She understood that he didn't want to talk. They just sat together a lot of the time. That was the only time that Derek really remembered Meredith. As he sat with her dark and twisted sister. He remembered how she could be dark but had somehow become the light in his live. He remembered how she could be difficult but she still made life easier for him. And it hurt but sometimes he just welcomed the hurt so he could see here clearly for awhile before he would go back to trying to forget.
Derek let out a sigh he knew he should finish the paperwork and go home. But he hated the thought of going back there after what happened. He hadn't been in the house since he broke down. After the police where done with questioning him he had gotten some time of from work but he couldn't take it. He sat home for three straight days crying. Than he became so angry he had destroyed a part of the living room. After he calmed down he realized what he had done and had left the house to go back to work. He had slept there ever since.
Derek looked up at Yang and knew that they both couldn't take this much longer. The not knowing was so hard. He just hoped that they would find her soon so they could get there life back. After he thought that he couldn't believe how selfish he had become. All he wanted was for his pain to be over while he had no idea what Meredith was going through. Derek thought he was going to go crazy thinking like this so he stood up to find a bed where he could sleep for awhile maybe taking his mind of things. He doubted it because he was sure that the nightmares would be there like every time he closed his eyes. Images of Meredith's lifeless body with her eyes staring into his while e has to watched while her soul leaves he body.
I know this was really short even for me but I just wanted to do a Derek pov before going back to Meredith I don't know when I'll upload again but I'll try to do it asap