Lilly didn't talk to me for the rest of the weekend. I'd called her a few dozen times at least. Eventually, the phone just stopped ringing, and it went straight to her voicemail. Oliver had gotten a hold of her at some point, but I guess she didn't say much to him, either.

I was really worried. I know we hadn't known each other very long, but I was starting to feel like I knew her. She was this tough person on the outside, but I knew that she was really sweet and gentle around people she trusted. I knew her better than I knew myself sometimes. I'd told her so many times that she'd never have to hide anything from me, and I thought that she would trust me enough to know that she could talk to me about pretty much anything.

Then again, there was her whole life before she moved here. I didn't know anything about that. I'd asked about it more times than I could count, but she'd always find a way to tell me a whole bunch about her life without telling me anything at all. I said it before, and I'll say it again; it really bothered me, even though I knew it shouldn't.

That journal was really the only thing she seemed to tell everything about herself. It probably said everything about her life before the move…and it most likely had all the details of what happened to her parents. It had all the insights into what she was thinking almost every second of the day.

I guess I'd be a little scared, too. Still, it seemed like there was more to this.

It was Monday, and Oliver showed up on my door. We walked to school together every day.

"Where's Lilly?" I asked. She usually walked with us.

"She called last night. Said she might just skip today."

I frowned. I really wanted to see Lilly. I wanted to make sure she was okay. But there was something else that bothered me.

"Why didn't she call me?" I asked, barely realizing I was saying it out loud.

"I don't know. Maybe she just figured…" Oliver searched for an explanation, but couldn't find one. "Yeah, I'm just as stumped as you are."

"Let's just leave," I said. We walked to school in silence. I think Oliver could tell I wasn't in the mood to talk. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. She didn't trust me at all…and it really hurt, because I'd told her about absolutely everything.

Well…not everything. I hadn't told her about the whole…wanting to kiss her thing on Saturday, but that wasn't the same. That wasn't even that big of a deal; it was just some form of temporary insanity or something. It wasn't like I wanted to be a couple or anything.

Anyway, I told her about all the really important stuff…how I'd lost my mom and how I always felt out of place. She never told me anything like that. She just wrote it down, and I'd be left hanging. I really shouldn't be mad at her, but I sort of was.

We finally got to school. I had no idea if Lilly would be there, but I was starting to not care.

"Hey," I heard a voice from behind me say. It was Lilly. I was ready to be mad at her and chew her out for not calling me back, but when I saw her, I couldn't do it. She was so physically worn down with sadness.

"Hey, stranger," Oliver said. "We barely heard from you at all yesterday."

"Sorry. I just…had a lot on my mind." Lilly looked at me. "Can I talk to you for a minute, Miley?"

I nodded, and Oliver took the hint and walked away.

"You didn't talk to me at all. What's going on?" I asked. Lilly didn't answer.

"Look," she said. "I just wanted you to know that you might start hearing things about me, and I understand if you don't want me talking to you anymore."

"What? There's nothing that bad that I could hear about you."

"Oh, trust me. You really don't know me that well."

That hurt.

"Why don't you just tell me, then?" I asked. "Just tell me and get it out of the way."

Lilly shook her head. "I can't."

"Why not?" I asked.

"I just can't! Just take it at that and drop it!" Lilly ran off.

I went to class, and tried to ignore the lump in my stomach.

It wasn't long before I started hearing things. Two boys that sat in front of me in my English class were talking.

"Did you hear about the new girl?" the first boy asked.

"Who?" This second boy looked back at me, and then leaned in closer to the first. "Miley's friend?"

I usually didn't eavesdrop on people, but considering the subject matter, I felt I was almost required to.

"Yeah. I guess she was hanging out with Jake this weekend, and he read that notebook she's always carrying around."

The second boy looked unimpressed. "So? Jake pulls stunts like that all the time. Remember last year when he stole Ashley's diary?"

"Dude, that's so not the point. It's what he read in it."

"If it's anything like Ashley's diary, it's mostly just talking about herself."

The first boy shook his head. "No, it's WAY better than that."

The second boy smiled. "Okay, I'm listening."

"You're totally not gonna believe this." Boy 1 paused.

"Okay, you can tell me anytime, now."

"She's gay," he said. I didn't think I'd heard that right.

The second boy rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut up."

"No seriously! Jake read it! She's a total dyke. I guess her parents abandoned her because of it or something."

Boy 2 shook his head. "Nuh uh! I don't believe you!"

"Jake told me himself. He said he was going to bring it to school today and show everyone."

After that, I sort of zoned out. This couldn't be true. Jake probably wasn't impressed with what he'd read, and he'd decided to spice it up. She couldn't really be…could she?

It made sense with how weird she was about her journal. This would be big enough to male her afraid of it getting out…especially if the thing about her parents was true. Still I had a hard time believing it. Mostly because I really didn't want it to be. It made everything too complicated.

The bell rang, and the first thing I did was find Oliver. I guess he'd been looking for me, too.

"Did you hear about Lilly?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "What are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna find Jake and beat him until he gives us Lilly's journal back."

"Do you think it's true?" I asked.

"Who cares? Jake's being a dick, and we need to stop him for Lilly." Oliver started to walk away. I didn't follow, so he looked back. "Are you coming, or what?"

"What if it's true?" I asked.

"Who cares? If she's gay, it doesn't change anything. She's still Lilly, and she's still our friend." He stopped for a second. "Would you have a problem with it?"

I didn't answer for a minute. I knew I wouldn't have a problem with it…if it was somebody else. I'm not homophobic or anything. I mean, if Oliver came out to me, I wouldn't even blink an eye. Like he said, it doesn't change who you are. But Lilly being gay…frankly, it scared me. It scared me because it made me think of Saturday and how I'd wanted to kiss her.

"No," I finally said. "I'm just concerned. Let's go find Jake."

Oliver smiled at me, then grabbed my hand, and we went off to find Jake. It didn't take very long. He was surrounded by a group of people.

"Yeah," he said. "I swear. She's totally gay, and it's all right here." He held up Lilly's journal. Before I knew what was happening, Oliver grabbed Jake and pushed him up against the lockers.

"Let go of me!" Jake yelled.

"No!" Oliver yelled. "I can't even believe I thought you were an okay guy. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What are you talking about?" Jake asked, trying to sound innocent.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Oliver slammed Jake onto the lockers again.

"Oh!" Jake said. "You mean Lilly's diary?" Oliver rolled his eyes. "Hey, it's not my fault that she's a big lesbo."

"Yeah, but it's your fault that the whole school knows!" I finally chimed in. "You had no right to do this!"

"Hey, I felt everyone needed to know. I mean, didn't you ever wonder what she was writing in here?"

I had, but that wasn't the point. "You still had no right."

"Oh, Miley," Jake said. "You wanna know what it says about you?" Jake handed it to me. I was so tempted to open it and read. I wanted to know what was inside more than anyone else. In the end, I knew Lilly was my friend, and she didn't want me reading it.

"Thanks, Jake. I'll be giving this back to its rightful owner."

Jake frowned. "You aren't going to even peek?"

I shook my head. "We aren't all scum, Jake."

"Fine," he said. "Just be careful around her, because apparently, it's not only the boys in this school that have the hots for you."

I glared at Jake. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know. There's an awful lot about you in there. I believe at one point, the words 'love of my life' may have been used."

Oliver punched Jake in the mouth.

"Oliver!" I yelled as Jake fell to the ground.

"I had to do something to shut him up!" Oliver and I started quickly walking away.

"She was right!" Jake yelled from behind us. "You do have a nice ass!" Everyone in the hallway started to laugh. I saw Oliver start to turn around, but I stopped him.

"It's not worth it," I said. We didn't say much after that, because we were about to be late to class.

My next class was math. By the time I got into class, Lilly was already sitting there with her head on the table. I tapped her shoulder, and she sat up. She smiled at me.

"You're here!" she yelled. I jumped a little. "Sorry, I just thought you were…avoiding me or something."

I sat down next to her. "I'm not avoiding you, Lilly. I don't have a reason to.

Lilly sighed. "So you haven't heard yet?"

"What, that you're gay?" I asked. Her eyes got big. "Yeah, I heard. I don't care. Neither does Oliver, just in case you were wondering."

"Really?" she asked. "Are you sure?"

"Lilly, you're one of my best friends. This isn't a big deal." I was trying (and succeeding) to seem like I didn't care. Oh, I cared, but not because I thought Lilly had something wrong with her. It was because it made me excited to know that Lilly was gay…and possibly in love with me. All these little things were starting to worry me.

"So…did you hear anything else?"

I wasn't sure if I should tell her the truth or not. If I didn't, I was afraid Lilly would just avoid the discussion until I found out…or admitted finding out. If I told her I knew something else, then we would have to have the aforementioned discussion…and I didn't think I was ready for that. I decided I had to tell her the truth.

"Well…Jake mentioned something about…your parents." Okay, I chickened out, but that really was something else I'd heard.

Lilly looked at the floor. "Oh…well…that's a long story."

"Lilly, just tell me…please."

Lilly sighed, and looked up at me. "Okay. Short version: my parents found out I was gay, and told me that I could move anywhere as long as it was far away from them. They pay for me to stay away, and tell everyone that I went to college early."

"Are you serious?" I asked. She nodded. "I can't believe that. All that just because you're gay?"

"Well, Dad's a pastor, so he can't exactly have a gay kid. It would ruin him…at least that's what he said while I was packing."

Lilly was shaking trying to hold back the tears. I grabbed her and held her.

"Miley, you shouldn't do that," she said. "People are gonna start saying things about you."

"I don't care," I said. I could feel people staring at us, but I really didn't care. Lilly needed me. I finally let go, and I saw that a few tears had made their way out of Lilly's eyes.

"Thanks, Miley," she said.

"Oh, that's not all," I said reaching into my backpack and grabbing her journal.

"How did you get this?" Lilly asked, taking it from me.

"It was mostly Oliver. He grabbed Jake and demanded it back."

"Remind me to get Oliver something really good for his birthday," Lilly said. The teacher walked in, and Lilly and I stayed pretty quiet for the rest of class.

I wanted to talk to her about what Jake had said. I wanted to know if it was true. Did she really love me, or had he just said that to get under my skin? More importantly, did I want her to be in love with me? Part of me sort of did. That left the big question.

Why?