Chapter 4

A Really Hot Day

The bright glare of the morning sunlight streaming down through the trees almost blinded Draco. The world around him was still and serene as he made his silent way into Hogsmead, the castle of Hogwarts looming dark against the sky behind him, the large turrets like posted sentry's watching the going's on of the clumps of students littering the court yard and the grassy banks.

There was no-one in sight and as he trod the well known path towards the little village, he was filled with wonder that he, Draco Malfoy, who always had someone hanging around him to give orders to, to laugh at his jokes and hope to ride his coat tails to the top, found himself completely alone.

He was alone a lot these days since the war ended and he, along with countless other students had returned to Hogwarts to finish their education. Vincent Crabbe who had been one of his friends was dead, Gregory Goyle his other friend avoided him as much as possible these day and seemed to prefer to hang around with Blaise Zabini instead. It stuck in Draco's craw to see Goyle with Zabini, the two of them laughing together, eating in the Great Hall together and sitting together in class when it used to be him giving orders to Goyle and Goyle scrambling to obey. Draco remembered the days of lording it over Zabini in the Slytherin common room, now he was lucky if anyone said hello to him.

He was practically ostracized these days. Him and Theodore Nott, two of the pure blood's whose families had been openly involved with the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters. Draco of course was viewed with much more suspicion than Theodore due to the fact that he wore the Dark Mark and had housed the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters and helped the Death Eaters get into Hogwarts to murder Dumbledore.

Memories were long, and no-one forgot that he was the first to step over to the Dark Lord and join the ranks of Death Eaters when it was thought that Harry Potter was dead and the Dark Lord had triumphed. People also remembered how they had believed that Lucius Malfoy was a changed man, and yet he had so swiftly returned to his Master's side and joined the Death Eaters at the Department of Mysteries.

His father was currently serving the rest of his sentence in Azkaban, he only had a year left to go before he came home and Draco was looking forward to that day. His life at Hogwarts was bound to be infinitely better than what his father had to deal with, although it ate at Draco like a toxic waste that he had Harry Potter to thank for that. Potter had stood up for him, told the entire Wizengamot how he had lied for Harry to help him escape and how he had been forced into using unforgivable curses. Draco had been surprised to discover that Potter had experienced a connection with the Dark Lord's mind and had seen some of the things that he had been forced to partake in.

Potter's testimony made Draco's life easier, but Draco burned with humiliation at having Potter take up for him.

Shading his eyes with his hand Draco looked about him at the route that was as familiar to him as his own mind. The sand and gravel path stretched out before him, winding away under the avenue of oak's and cedars. With the heat of the sun high above him Hogsmead suddenly felt like a million miles away. The dust of the path floated upward on the dry air, sifting into his nostrils, sticking in his nose and throat, choking him.

A stillness hung over the countryside, all the shrubs and flowers which should have been in full bloom hung drooping and sad in churned up soil where the fighting had taken place. Draco drew in a deep breath, everywhere he went found some sort of reminder of the hidious days of the war when everything was a dark quagmire he couldn't get out of.

Draco smoothed back his hair his face damp and his body already beginning to sweat. He felt messy and sticky something Draco was unused to, he was a Malfoy, he had always had the wealth of the Malfoy fortune behind him and he had always dressed in the very best clothes, had always had his every little whim catered to and now Draco felt lost in a sea of confusion. The good old lazy days before the war where gone and Draco wasn't sure where he fit in this new world of Potter's making.

He could hear the rippling of the river off to his right, and Draco abandoned his plan to go to Hogsmead and instead cut through the tall grass with the scorching sun beating down on his head, burning the back of his neck and causing little rivulets of perspiration to run from behind his ears down his neck and he blew a puff of hot air up into his face, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt Draco pushed the sleeves up to his elbows, avoiding looking at the Dark Mark burnt on his arm.

The water looked cool and still, like a silver ribbon and Draco was just contemplating taking off his shoes and socks and soaking his feet in the inviting water when he spotted her, calf deep in the water, her white dressed hiked up around her knees, her long dirty blonde hair tumbling down her back held off her face with wild flowers.

Draco faltered, unsure what to do. He was just preparing to sneak away hoping she hadn't seen him when Luna Lovegood lifted her head and her large, silvery blue eyes landed on his face, pinning him in place.

The sun was shining hotly above him and Draco was frozen like a statue. At the sight of her standing in the water, the sun reflecting off the surface of the water on to her face which had now lost its haunted, hungry look and was plump and full of health and vitality, Draco thought she looked like some mythical water goddess.

Draco's heart went out in a surge of love and fury at fate. He could hardly bear to look at her knowing how she had suffered being taken from her father and locked away from the sunlight and the fresh air; constantly living with the fear she might be tortured and killed, or worse for her, that her father may suffer that very fate.

Luna's heart leaped at the very sight of Draco. It had been too long since she'd had a quiet moment alone with him. She hadn't managed it since Harry had taken her away from Malfoy Manor and she had longed for him since that day, but never once, not with a word or a look had Draco betrayed any of his feelings towards her.

"Hello, Draco." He didn't look as though he were going to speak, but rather turn on his heel and run away and Luna refused to allow that to happen. He had spent too long avoiding her.

"Luna," he greeted quietly.

She smiled at the sound of her name; a smile that lit up her face and caused her eyes to sparkle like jewels. "How are you?"

"Fine." It was a lie and Draco knew that Luna knew that, she always seemed to just know things without being told and convey that with one look.

"You don't have to lie to me, Draco. I can imagine that things have been difficult for you. You used to talk to me," she added when Draco remained maddeningly silent.

"I didn't have much choice then," Draco said, his attempt at a snarky tone falling flat.

"There's always a choice," Luna said quietly. "You proved that when you lied for Harry."

Draco's cheeks coloured, he hated being reminded of that even if it did end up being his saving grace. The war had taught him many things especially that the harsh realities of life didn't wait for him to get used to them but thrust themselves into his life whether he wanted to face them or not; and one of the harsh realities he had to face was his feelings for the slip of a girl standing in the water, gazing at him, waiting for him to speak.

"I did what I had to do to help myself and my family," Draco responded with a square of his shoulders.

Luna's eyebrows drew together in a deep frown. "You didn't know lying was going to help you at the time."

"I don't know that it's helped me at all," Draco complained bitterly.

Luna kicked her foot sending crystal clear dropplets of water sprinkling through the air sparkling like rainbows when the sun caught them. She splashed her way to the bank and stepped onto the springy grass. "You did what was right, Draco and your good deed has been rewarded. Harry spoke up for you, didn't he. He told everyone what you and your mother did for him and that kept you out of Azkaban."

"Yeah, and he also told everyone about my father's fall from grace too," Draco scowled angrily. "I bet he really enjoyed telling everyone about that," he added sourly.

"I doubt that, Harry doesn't take pleasure in other people's misery and embarrassment."

"Like I do you mean?" Draco snapped, his mind going back to the way he had behaved before the war towards those he believed were beneath him.

"I didn't say that and I didn't mean that," Luna assured him. "You were nice to me." A pink blush crept into her cheeks and Draco's eyes lowered to the ground, his own face heating up slightly.

He remained silent, Draco had nothing to say to that. The truth always startled him and forced him to accept the truth of whatever statement was being made whether he wanted to or not and Luna always spoke the truth.

And the truth was, he hard hardly been able to keep her out of his mind. Luna filled his every dream, his every waking thought and he burned for her the way the sun was burning his face at that very moment.

"You've been avoiding me, Draco. Why have you been avoiding me?"

She was so close to him now that Draco felt as though he were suffocating. Not a breath of air stirred the lush greenness around him, or rustled the leaves of the trees; the bank of the river felt heavy and oppressive and Draco jerked roughly at the collar of his midnight blue shirt, the silk already sticking to his back and his arms.

Swallowing against his dry throat Draco took a wobbly step backwards from those lustrous eyes that seemed to pierce the very core of him and force him to acknowledge truths it would do no good to speak of.

"Because..." he finally spoke. "Because I didn't want you to get the wrong idea about things."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "How do you mean?"

"About us," he forced the words past his tight throat. "I didn't want you thinking there was more to ... us, than there is."

Her eyes, which were slightly on the large side but suited her face anyway, and always had a look of surprise about them widened in genuine shock, her lips parting in a soundless gasp. She stared up at him disbelievingly. "I'm afraid," she began, her voice carefully measured, "that I'm following you only too well. Why don't you want to admit to feelings for me, Draco?"

"I don't have any feelings to admit to," Draco said defiantly.

"Oh yes you do," Luna's chin tilted slightly and he eyes met his, bright with challenge. "What exactly are you afraid of? Not of what people think, surely. Not after we just won a war to prove that everyone is equal. Besides, if it does bother you that much, my blood is as pure as yours."

"We were on different sides in that war," Draco reminded her, doing his level best to bypass her question. A question he knew she had every right to ask of him.

"Not really," Luna said dismissively. "You may believe the same things as the Death Eaters to a certain extent, but you do not believe that people should be killed or stripped of their magic merely because their blood is not pure. If you did, you would have willingly fought alongside the Death Eaters, but you didn't. You got yourself into a difficult and dangerous situation you could find no way out of without bloodshed so you allowed yourself to be swept along by it always looking for a way out, a way to save yourself and your family. If the war hadn't have come it would have made no real difference to you, Draco, you would have spent your life living happily at Malfoy Manor with your wealth at your disposal and doing just as you pleased, in much the same way you always have done."

But the war had come, Draco shivered in spite of the relentless heat of the day. The war had come to blow his life into smithereens and change life as he knew it. Gone now was the laziness of the old days where he ruled supreme in the Slytherin common room and there was an undeniable glamour about being a Malfoy. The family name stood for something, meant something, Lucius had worked hard to ensure that it did and that in turn gave his son an easy life. The Malfoy name protected him and kept him from being like everyone else.

There was a beauty to his life before the Dark Lord returned, where he only had to ask for something and it immediately became his, when he had people falling over themselves to suck up to him in the hopes of becoming a member of his own little trusted circle of friends; not that he had ever had any real friends, Draco would admit that if only to himself. But that was through his own choice, he hadn't really believed that anyone he knew was worthy of being a true friend to him. Now he hadn't a friend because of his own doing, people were still a little afraid of him, didn't know what to make of him; all accept Luna. She knew him better than he knew himself and she wanted to be more than his friend, but it wasn't possible, now more than ever it wasn't possible.

"Everything has changed."

She smiled sweetly, a look of understanding on her face. "I know, Draco. You'll adapt. You're strong."

"I don't know where I belong anymore, Luna. I don't have a place in this life. I'm like a fish out of water."

He looked so despairingly at her and his low voice was so devoid of feeling that Luna knew in that instant why she adored him so. He was just like a lost little boy, a lost soul and she wanted to help him, to guide him back from the darkness he had been wandering in into the light.

"Everything will be alright, Draco. You just have to take life by the horns and make what you want out of it. We've come through the worst life can throw at us, Draco and we're still standing. You have the strength in you to stand tall against adversity, you've already proven that, and people will forget and forgive in time. Wounds are still raw right now, grief is still fresh, but you will be alright. You've already faced the stone walls of disapproval that have come up against you and you haven't fallen, but if you do, you'll just get right back up again; because that's what a man does, that's what a Malfoy does." Luna played her ace card with the mention of his family name, that above anything was sacred to Draco, having the Malfoy name really mean something.

Her hand was suddenly on his arm, hot and feverish as she gazed longingly up at him. "And you don't have to do it on your own, Draco. You've struggled along so far and you've proven you can do it alone, but you don't have to. I'll be here from now on to help you."

Draco hardly noticed her palm was clammy from heat, he only registered that her hand was on his arm, her skin touching his and it conjured up memories he buried away during the day and only brought out at night to thumb over in the darkness to bring him some small measure of comfort and be admired like a fine work of art; memories of her hands in his hair and his lips on hers in the sweetest of kisses, made even sweeter by the fact that they were stolen kisses in a basement or in the washroom where he took her to bathe while she was held captive at his home.

They were kisses that had sustained him, led to the kind of intense physical pleasure Draco had never realised could exist. But the past was the past, he had to leave it there. He had to look forward and be the man, the Malfoy he was meant to be.

"No," he said, his voice a whisper. "It's not possible, what happened..."

But Luna stopped his faltering words with her own her hands moving to grip his shoulders, to physically hold him in place in case he tried to run off. "Don't, Draco! Don't say things you don't mean. Don't push me away again. I love you and I know you love me, you told me so remember, that night in your bedroom when we..."

"Oh," Draco exclaimed exasperated that she was bringing up memories that did nothing but weaken his resolve when it came to her. "Can't we just forget all about it?"

"Don't be silly," Luna chided gently. "Why should we do that? How can we do that?" She looked at him imploringly. "Are you honestly going to stand there and say you didn't mean it? That your feelings have changed?"

The sunlight streaked through her hair, turning the dirty blonde waves to molten gold before his very eyes and making the petals of the wild white roses she had used to pin back her hair almost translucent.

The light could play tricks on the eyes, her hair was not golden and she was not perfect. Draco's heart contracted at this disloyal thought but he chose to ignore it. He took a quick, sharp breath before he spoke. "I don't care about you at all. Now will you leave me alone?"

"You are lying, Draco."

"So what?" Draco demanded with a heat to match that of the fireball in the clear sky above. "What difference does it make? We can't do anything about it. We're different kinds of people, we come from different worlds."

"That doesn't matter, not if..."

"It matters." Draco interrupted quietly; so quietly that his voice stilled Luna to silence. "We are different, Luna and you know it. I have responsibilities, a duty to the Malfoy's that have come before me. "

Blinking uncertainly Luna looked at Draco with wide eyes and naked longing. She saw, as if for the first time the good breeding in his face, it showed in his hard eyes grey like granite, in the high prominent cheek bones and the proud tilt of his head.

Luna saw in Draco Malfoy's face the collapse of her dreams; saw them fluttering away like petals on the wind. He loved her, but he would not sacrifice his pride or the honor of the Malfoy name to be with her, not even if he burned for her for the rest of his life. Her heart broken, Luna let the tears fall.

Draco was astounded, he had never seen Luna cry; not when she had been teased mercilessly at school, not when she had first been taken captive and not in all the long months of her captivity. He genuinely hadn't realized that someone as strong as Luna was capable of tears.

His arms went around her, his natural instinct to comfort her coming to the fore and he patted her awkwardly. "Don't cry," it came out more as a harsh command that a soothing plea, but it was the best he could do in the circumstances, especially now that he could feel the change in her body at his very touch.

An electric heat swept through her, transferred itself to him and consumed him; heart, body and mind. Turning her face up to his, Draco kissed her.

Luna's heart pumped madly in her ears and she clung to Draco, her body seeming to stick to his the day was so hot. She clung to him as they stood fused together for a timeless time, just the two of them and Draco's mouth took hers hungrily as though he would never in this life time or the next get enough of her.

The aroma of wild roses filled his nostrils and the familiarity of holding Luna in his arms again was a heady mixture and Draco deepened his kiss. She tasted like honeysuckle and wild flowers, like hot summer days and warm sultry summer darkness, even though she didn't, she still signified all those things to him and Draco lost himself in the delicious ambrosia that was Luna.

He broke the kiss for a moment for some much needed air, but the heat of the day made the air thick and stale and cloying and breathing wasn't nearly as good as he remembered it being only minutes before.

"Draco..." she murmured, her fingers tangling in his hair, leaning into him ardently and dragging his mouth back to hers.

Draco went willingly. He would worry and fight with the chaos of his thoughts later when he could get some order into his addled mind, when Luna wasn't pressed to tightly to him she was practically plastered to his body. Even the sun, like a ball of red clay that seemed to be sending down to earth the very heat from the fires of hell did not compare to the wildfire Draco could feel coursing through his own veins as he kissed her harder, deeper, giving himself over to her completely.

Luna was like chocolate and honey and syrupy goodness, she was soft and smooth and sweet smelling and all those things that weren't good for you because they gave you toothache; but he was having his taste of her anyway; he was having his taste of lilies on the breeze and buttercups dancing and dissolving sunshine; because all too soon Draco knew that he would have to give her up for good.