Chapter Four

Jenova's Wrath

Chapter Four

Yuffie, Zack and Vincent stood staring at Shalimar, making her feel as though she'd grown an extra head. Lucrecia stood looking meek and embarrassed, and Shalimar felt a rush of gratitude. At least her mother was vaguely aware of the magnitude of the situation. After a few more moments, Shalimar sighed, walking around the kitchen island and began busying herself with the kettle. This was going to take some time, so she might as well be fully awake for it. She gestured to Lucrecia.

"You might as well sit down. This is going to take some explaining," she said. Lucrecia nodded and seated herself at the kitchen table, watching Vincent carefully. He turned his attention to her then joined her at the table, soon followed by Yuffie who looked uneasy and confused.

Zack had moved to stare out of the windows, his back to them all, giving himself time to think. Shalimar's words echoed in his mind and he felt sick with betrayal. To think, this woman who pledged her life to saving his had lied to him for the past two and a half years? This woman, who he trusted implicitly, who promised him she would always tell him the truth had been deceiving him the whole time? He swallowed thickly as a wave of nausea rose in his throat. After everything he'd been through, with Angeal, Genesis, even Sephiroth and Cloud, somehow, this felt so much worse.

Shalimar stood behind the counter, watching Zack carefully. She could see his reflection in the black of the windows almost as clearly as if they were mirrors. Her heart ached as she saw the emotions flit across his face, one after another, each felt as keenly as the last. She knew she was about to lose him, and her eyes filled with emotion, a bright, keen blue, radiating sorrow, pleading with him to turn and face her. She could only pray he heard her silent pleas, because no matter how she tried, her voice just wouldn't work.

Zack could feel Shalimar's bright blue gaze on him, but he didn't want to face it. He knew that he might lose his resolve in those clear, beautiful eyes, but he knew that he couldn't. Shalimar must have known how this news would have hurt him, how it would have cut through him like a sword, severing his hopes and dreams as far from reality as they could go.

He forced his gaze upwards, and found her sorrowful, glistening eyes gazing at him, conveying a mixture of emotions and messages, and he understood. He knew why, knew that she had no other choice, knew she had done what she needed to, but still, he could not forgive so readily. He stared back at her, holding her gaze with his fierce one, and, when he knew she understood, left the room without another word.

Shalimar felt a shard of ice cut through her heart when Zack looked at her, but she knew she deserved it. She knew he could not forgive what she had done, knew that she had wronged him and probably destroyed their friendship, and now, she had to learn to live with it.

She carried the tray of tea to the table and joined her mother, Vincent and Yuffie, sipping quietly for a few moments. Yuffie was uncharacteristically quiet and sat meekly in her chair, staring down at her mug, almost as if she'd find the answers to her questions in the amber, milky liquid.

"I didn't completely lie."

Everyone looked up at Shalimar, her voice echoing in the kitchen, slicing through the silence even though she had spoken barely above a whisper. Vincent looked at her, his attention caught and he laid a hand on Yuffie's shoulder, calming her and silently instructing her to hold her questions until Shalimar had finished. He had a feeling that if Shalimar didn't speak now, she never would again.

Shalimar took a breath and instead of speaking to everyone at the table, she stared into her mug, talking into its depths instead. She found it was easier: the tea didn't expect anything of her, didn't expect any answers, or ask questions. It would just sit in her cup, completely unfazed.

"See, I did call myself Shalimar Cortescant for a long while." She sighed and then smiled, reminiscing.

"I was born quite a few years after Sephiroth. I think Vincent, you were still in your confinement then, so I guess my existence is a bit of a shock to you. If anyone is wondering why Hojo never said anything about me, he still had his prodigy to fawn over. He wasn't concerned with a useless little girl."

She drained her cup and set it on the table, clasping her hand upon its polished surface and staring at them as she twiddled her thumbs.

"This is weird… I've never spoken about this to anyone so it's hard… Um, I'm six years younger than Zack, not four… so that would mean I was born when Sephiroth was about…"

She stopped, and appeared to be deep in thought then she looked up at them all and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry this isn't making much sense, is it? I'll start again."

They nodded, Lucrecia watching her daughter with pride. She could intervene, and explain it for her, but she knew Shalimar's spirit and knew that she had to do this for herself.

"Okay," Shalimar started. "My mother and father were Lucrecia and Hojo, as I'm pretty sure you've figured. That makes Sephiroth my big brother but believe me, he had no idea that I ever existed on account of the fact he didn't know who his real blood mother was. You all know the lengths he went to under Jenova's name, convinced that he was her son, simply because of a load of genetic testing with her cells."

She smiled bitterly and shook her head. Outside, in the hall, Zack sat silently on the stairs, listening intently to Shalimar's story.

"I'm going to try and put this in context for you guys so it's easier for you to understand. I was born when Sephiroth was only 13. My mother was given a short period of time away form the lab, so she left for Gongaga, and gave birth to me and raised me for the first year of my life there. After this time, Hojo wanted her to return to her work on Omega and Chaos and she was forced to give me to another family so that I might be able to grow up outside of Shinra. Hojo didn't object because he was too concerned with his own work and overseeing the life of his son. He had little time for a pathetic little girl, or so he called me."

She took a shuddering breath and continued.

"So I was given to the Cortescant family, two people who were unable to have children of their own. They were good parents, loving and kind, but they had little money, so when I began to excel at school from an early age, my mother, Lucrecia appealed to Hojo for help. Luckily, she was appealing to Hojo's better nature – his interest in anything that was abnormal or different. He took an interest in me and funded my education, overseeing everything I studied. I grew up in Kalm, and gained my degree when I turned fifteen. Hojo immediately hired me, so I spent my first few years as scientist working under him. Oh, by the way," she added thoughtfully. "I'm only a year older than you, Yuffie."

She smiled at the shock in Yuffie's eyes before continuing.

"Anyway, at eighteen, I was given charge of a case. Hojo had other commitments with Shinra, so had to transfer this case to me. It was Zack. I was to oversee the testing and experiments that Hojo had planned for him. Of course, I read Zack's case file first, and, once I'd read that, the emotions I felt as well as the outrage at what Hojo made me do as part of my work gave me the courage to go against Hojo's instructions. I worked on getting Zack as close back to normal as I could. It was hard. I had to develop new strategies and methods for him alone, because he really is a unique person. If I'd have used the standard methods, it would have slowed him down, and he wouldn't have had half the strength he was used to."

She drew breath again and lapsed into silence for a moment. Eventually she took a deeper breath and raised her eyes to meet those of her companions.

"So, that brings us to now. Yes, I lied, but would you have trusted me if you knew who I was? Would Zack? Of course not. Not after what Hojo did to him the first time. I had no choice if I was to help Zack become something like his old self again and I wanted that so badly. I've never worked as hard as I did for Zack. By helping him back to health, I was gaining my own freedom away from Hojo and my imprisonment."

As the group in the kitchen fell into a thoughtful silence, Zack smiled gently to himself, the darkness of the hallway hiding the smile from anyone else. After a moment, he rose to his feet and walked softly upstairs, shutting his bedroom door quietly behind him.

He lay down on his bed, his arm behind his head as he stared at the ceiling, his thoughts racing. He remembered how Shalimar had fought day after day, putting all of her strength and spirit into giving him his back. He remembered admiring her from the start at the way she always put his welfare before anybody else's including her own. And now he knew why, it didn't tarnish that admiration as he thought it would have done, no, it merely enhanced it even more. Her fight seemed to mean so much more now.

But still, he thought as he turned over and lay on his side. She still lied, and he couldn't ignore that. It was going to take sometime to completely forgive her for that. IT was petty, perhaps, but if his character could have a failing, then this was it.

And Zack continued to lay there, alone with his thoughts, long into the early morning, and dawn had made itself known to the realms of Midgar before his eyelids grew even the slightest bit tired.

--(FFVII)--

Shalimar exchanged one manila folder for another as she sipped at her coffee. She flipped the file open, scanning its contents, occasionally taking notes here and there. Lucrecia was walking around her daughter's office, occasionally examining the odd book or ornament or certificate, but in general just admiring the achievements her daughter had made in her absence.

As she sat down in a chair opposite Shalimar's desk, her thoughts turned toward her daughter's independence and how much her character had changed since she last saw her. Shalimar had been only ten, and Lucrecia had taken her on a small trip back to Gongaga Town, telling her stories about when she was born, when she spoke for the very first time, and even when she took her first steps. Lucrecia smiled in remembrance. She was lucky she got to share those few moments with her daughter, and she was so proud of all that she had accomplished on her own. The only thing Hojo had contributed was money, and her family had given her love, but only she had the power to do what she had. Yes, she was very proud of her daughter and that feeling alone outshone any feelings of remorse or guilt that she had.

Shalimar looked up from her work across at her mother who was staring off into space with a dreamy smile on her face. She gave a thin smile as she remembered how she had reacted the night before, the smile giving way to a troubled frown. She hadn't meant to be so emotional, but she really couldn't bear having her mother taken away from her again, especially when she had lost Zack.

Lucrecia looked up and smiled at her daughter.

"Shalimar, I wanted to say thank you again."

Shalimar looked slightly baffled as she flipped another file open.

"What for?"

"For letting me stay with you and not kicking me out onto the street," her mother replied. Shalimar looked up sharply.

"I would never do that, and you know it, so stop thanking me, okay? I did what anyone would have done."

"If I remember rightly, Shalimar, you said the same thing when you spoke about saving Zack," came Vincent's voice from the door way. Shalimar turned in her seat as he entered the room and sat beside her mother. She rolled her eyes.

"Hey, that was ganging up, no fair," she said playfully, turning back to her files as the pair smiled happily, falling into soft conversation as Shalimar worked.

Suddenly, Shalimar sat bolt upright as she read the file, her spare hand searching blindly for the stack of files by her feet. After a couple of minutes of vigorous rifling through papers, she flung the files on the desk and sped out of the room into the main lab.

"Johnson!"

Shalimar's voice carried down the length of the lab and her Aide came rushing over, a look of panic on his face.

"What is it?"

"I've found another common factor between the women. It's so general that we all overlooked it. I can't believe we actually missed something so big."

"What? What is it Shal?"

"In ninety percent of cases, the women who fall into comas and then recover lose the ability to have children," she said breathlessly. Realisation dawned on Johnson's face slowly.

"The women often become depressed and over seventy percent commit suicide," she concluded. Johnson's face was now a mask of horror. Shalimar looked at him seriously.

"We have to figure this out, Johnson. And soon."

--(FFVII)--

Lucrecia pulled a brush through her long locks, critically checking her make-up for the seventh time. She placed the brush down on her dresser and stood up, stepping into the little black dress that she had picked out especially for tonight. She only hoped she still looked as good now as she used to. It was a long while since she had checked.

It was three weeks since Vincent and Yuffie had found her unconscious in Midgar and Vincent had finally plucked up the courage to ask her out to dinner, albeit to Yuffie immense amusement. Of course, she had accepted without even a moment's hesitation, lest Vincent get the wrong idea again. Shalimar had warned her against breaking this man's heart for the second time, and after some careful reflection, Lucrecia had realised that what she couldn't forgive herself for all those years ago, she could now bring herself to ignore. She had lost to much to grief and blindness. She was determined to make amends, she decided as she picked up her purse and left, wishing goodnight to her daughter.

Shalimar waved as her mother wished her a good night, turning back to her book as the front door snapped shut. She flipped the page idly, relaxing back on the sofa, tucking her toes beneath the cushions. The fire crackled cheerfully in the grate, and though she was grateful for the warmth that it threw across her in waves, she could not agree with its disposition. She still felt depressed and lonely, as for the third week running, Zack still wasn't home.

She closed the book gently and leaned back, letting her mind run on its treadmill as it so desperately wanted to. She'd known when Rufus had ordered her to take the night off work and to relax for the evening that she risked letting her mind wander to the topics that she didn't really want to think about. Since she'd been working solidly these last three weeks, she hadn't really given too much thought to Zack's absence, but she found that the longer it dragged on, the harder it got to deal with.

She knew it was her fault he had left in the first place. She knew that she should never have lied to him, and never on such a scale. But, she wondered, did he even know why she had? He'd left the room so soon that she hadn't had a chance to explain to him. She sighed. That worry had been eating away at her since that night. The worry that he didn't understand because he hadn't let her explain. She was beginning to think she should search him out if only to tell him what she had told the others. But, her mind reasoned, Yuffie saw him all the time, so he must know. Yuffie would have told him, and though she would have preferred to tell him herself, she knew she deserved no such respect from him. Still, at least he did know.

She swung her legs over the side of the sofa and got up, walking into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She was lucky, she thought, that she liked the taste of both tea and coffee. She could drink one at home, to soothe and relax, and the other at work, to invigorate and generally keep her awake. She knew it was bad practise for a scientist, but then, they all had their flaws.

As she stood waiting for the kettle to boil she let her mind wander onto other things. She was still staring absentmindedly while she made the tea when the outside kitchen door opened, and in burst a very giggly Zack and Tifa.

Zack turned back toward Tifa and motioned for her to be quiet as he closed the door silently. Shalimar didn't move, just stood stock still at the end of the kitchen, watching them both. Tifa nodded at Zack and stood still as he grasped her hand went to lead her through the kitchen. He took a few steps and stopped dead as his gaze fell on Shalimar, the colour draining almost completely from his face. His hand fell to his side and Tifa rushed forward to secure it back in hers again. Shalimar neither moved or spoke, merely held Zack's gaze until Tifa dragging him from the room by the hand tore his eyes from hers.

She stood by the counter, breathing steadily until she heard the bedroom door upstairs close with a snap. The she let out a long breath and picked up her tea, moving back into the sitting room, where the fire was the only light, warm and inviting. She settled herself back on the sofa, under her blanket with her book, desperately trying to force thoughts of Zack and Tifa from her head.

--(FFVII)--

His head hurt. It hurt a lot. And he couldn't feel his fingers. Why was that? He turned over and found Tifa curled up, his arm outstretched beneath her neck. She was still deeply asleep, so he gently moved his arm from under her and sat up, flexing life back into his fingers.

Sunlight streamed in through a gap in the curtains bright and cheerful, making Zack wince if he looked in that direction. He sighed and stood up, pulling on a pair of pajama pants before he left the room.

Shalimar was busy making herself some breakfast and tea. The weekend had dawned lovely and warm, the weather outside in the garden perfect for relaxing in. As she was still under orders from Rufus, that was exactly what she intended to do.

She poured cold milk over her cereal and placed it on the kitchen table with her tea while she went to prepare Sushi's morning breakfast. She walked around the counters and the island, through the full length windows (open this morning to let the warmth flood the kitchen) and placed the bowl on the patio floor. Sushi, her cat, scampered over from chasing a butterfly and nuzzled against her hand for a few moments before tucking into the meal his mistress had given him.

Shalimar sat down and tucked into her breakfast, watching the wildlife in her garden, listening to the sounds of children playing in the park down the street. It was a beautiful day in Midgar, a rarity in itself.

Zack pushed open the kitchen door, wincing as he was met by a room bathed in glorious sunlight. He made his way to the teapot, pouring himself a mug and taking a sip before he even registered that Shalimar must have been up. There was hot tea in the pot, which meant she'd been up and made it and… she was sitting at the kitchen table.

Zack couldn't help but stare. He knew Shalimar had nightclothes for when there were visitors in her house or when she felt like lazing around for the day, but this set must have been new. It was a pale, creamy peach coloured satin thigh length strappy nightdress, edged in white lace complete with a matching, full length, flowing gown. She was sat with one leg crossed beneath the other as she watched him, her blue eyes bright for so early in the morning. She smiled.

"Morning," she said. Zack couldn't quite make out if she was being serious or not.

"Morning," he replied groggily. She laughed.

"Rough night?" He shrugged.

"I can't really remember," he said, still staring. Shalimar sighed and cocked her head to one side.

"Is there something wrong? You're staring at me."

Zack looked up sharply into her face and then shook his head, carrying his mug over to join her at the table.

"No, sorry, I guess I'm not really with it this morning…"

Shalimar nodded and went back to eating her cereal. Silence fell between them, but, Shalimar noticed, it wasn't the heavy silence that she would have expected. This was light and free, much like the companionable silences they used to share when they each lapsed into thought when conversation was over.

She finished her cereal and pushed her bowl away, wrapping her hands around her mug of tea, bringing both legs up onto the chair and crossing them. She rested her arms on her legs, holding her mug above her crossed ankles as she stared out of the windows, watching her cat sunbathe on the lawn. Zack watched her, her face calm and serene as her mind settled on happier thoughts rather than the troubling few that usually consumed it. She was beautiful, bathed in pure sunlight, its rays lighting up her face and making her glow; reflecting off the satin folds of her gown and the ripples of the dress, shining like diamond. He sighed. He couldn't keep this up any longer. His heart was heavy with the pretence and he longed to be back on speaking terms with Shalimar. It was a wonder she hadn't walked away yet, he thought.

He cleared his throat, shifting his gaze to the cat, flopped on the grass outside. Shalimar turned her head and looked at him.

"I… I know why you did it," he began uncertainly. Comprehension flashed across Shalimar's features and she looked down at her cup before looking back outside.

"I heard the story. I sat on the stairs that night, listening. I had to hear why you did it, but I couldn't face looking at you, I was so angry. So I listened from in the hall."

He looked up at her.

"You're not angry with me, are you?"

Shalimar looked at him in surprise.

"No, why? Why would I be angry with you?"

Zack shrugged and sipped his tea.

"For ignoring you for three weeks, for never letting you explain, for bringing Tifa here last night…"

Shalimar cocked her head to one side again. Ahh, so he does remember.

"It's okay. This is your home too. You can bring home whoever you want."

Zack nodded, searching for words.

"Um, so you're Sephiroth's little sister, huh?"

She smiled. It sounded so silly put like that. Sephiroth may have gone awol, but he was still regarded as one of the greatest fighters there ever was. And a hero. To think that he might have had a baby sister sounded ludicrous.

"Yeah. It's not all that, really," she joked. He smiled appreciatively.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

She shrugged, mockingly.

"Oh, you know, the reputation. It's such a bastard to live up to."

They both laughed companionably. Shalimar flushed embarrassed and looked back into her cup. Zack coughed.

"So how old are you exactly? I don't think I caught that part properly."

Shalimar blushed furiously. If she told him now, she'd never have a chance with him, she knew it.

"I… Uh.. Twenty," she stuttered helplessly. He smiled, nodding. She was cute when she stuttered.

"Okay. I'm a bit scared that scientists are kids these days, but what the hell."

Shalimar feigned offence and grabbed a cushion from the kitchen sofa and threw it at him.

"Cheek!" she said, laughter shining in her blue eyes. Zack laughed with her, putting the cushion back in its place before turning to her.

"So," he said. "Friends?"

Shalimar smiled at him.

"Friends," she said, smiling.

By Arachinea