Chapter 4: Joss' POV, Part 2
A/N: I hope you've noticed some of the contradictions in this tale. John gives Taylor a lesson on paying attention, while he's not paying attention to what's going on with Joss, and Joss calls Steven while she's thinking about John – just showing how very human John and Joss are.
In this chapter, Steven invites Joss for a drink at his place.
The usual disclaimers: nothing you recognize belongs to me.
April
At first, Joss ran north – No, she thought, too many people.
She stopped, thinking: where, where?
The park. She ran south.
January
When Steven walked into the coffee shop, Joss was scanning through some emails on her phone. Taylor's school was asking all the parents to propose some new presenters to the annual Career Day event - no, Joss corrected herself, they called it Aspirations Day now and it extended into the evening - that was coming up in two weeks.
After they talked about pending legislation out of Albany, the next 'blizzard of the century' that threatened this weekend and a new mystery by one of their favorite authors, Joss asked Steven if his firm might be able to help. "Maybe someone in one your firm's other divisions," she said, laughing at his look of mock outrage. "Not that your division isn't very exciting."
"I'll make you a bet that the session given by members of my team will be the best attended of all of them. I can prove it right now. If I'm right, will you give me a kiss?"
"And if you're wrong?"
The smile told her he wouldn't be wrong.
Joss knew she'd walked straight into a trap, but she wasn't going to back down. "Sure, it's a bet."
Steven's fingers moved slowly across his handheld. "A growing area for my division are land trusts. Some people want to leave a legacy for the future, but it can be tricky. For example, there was a case where a couple purchased a home on land controlled by a land trust. The couple agreed as part of the purchase to leave the land around the house in its natural state. Five years later, the couple wanted to put in a lawn, the land trust objected and it led to fist fights and shotguns full of rock salt. There was some ambiguity re: what a natural state was, and lapses on both sides re: maintenance of the land. Throw in that the head of the land trust's son was involved with the homeowners' daughter – you get the picture. My firm was asked to straighten the mess out."
"Sounds like it was action-packed."
"It was. I put three of my best people on it." He showed her the screen, scrolling through his division's organizational chart, which included photos and a biography of each staffer.
Kerry Chan, Elizabeth Mugabe and Allison Turner were accomplished and gorgeous, each one a teenage boy's dream and a teenage girl's hope.
"They're smart, beautiful and they have great stories to tell…what about that kiss?"
His lips were cool and dry, the kiss soft and lingering. "Since there are three associates, I think you owe me two more kisses," he murmured, kissing her two more times.
Joss felt that something inside her, begin to stir.
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"You know, you didn't have to be here," she smiled.
"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Jocelyn."
Joss and Steven stood at the back of the auditorium. After their photos were posted on the school's Aspirations Day website and a visit by Elizabeth Mugabe to campus to finalize arrangements revealed she had a figure that Tyra Banks would kill for, the evening session featuring the three associates was moved to this large space to accommodate both students and their parents – the auditorium was full. As Steven had noted, they were smart, beautiful and had some great stories to tell. They didn't gloss over the drudgery of law school and the pressure of trying to make it at a high profile law firm, but they also talked about the satisfaction of a job well done and the great feeling you got when you helped someone. There was loud applause, shouts and whistles at the end of their talk.
As the other students crowded around the associates, Taylor came up to Joss and Steven; Joss introduced them. "Everyone's been calling them Charlie's Angels, but I guess we should call them Steven's Angels instead," Taylor said, as they shook hands.
Steven laughed. "They probably wish I was just a voice on the phone – they can shut a phone off. I'm always barging into their offices with more work."
The three chatted for a few minutes, then Steven went to his congratulate his associates.
"So that's Mr. Coffee," Taylor said. It was a statement, not a question.
"Yes, I've seen him a few times." Joss waited for an additional comment or quip from her son, but Taylor was silent, watching Steven with an appraising look on his face. Before she could say anything, he was called away by one of his classmates.
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February
"Oh…I saw your son today." Steven said.
"Really?" Joss put down her sandwich.
"Had to take a detour after the water main break on 60th the morning. He was coming out of a gym near the new convention center with a tall dark-haired guy."
"He's a friend of the family…does Big Brother type stuff with Taylor. You know, they go to the gym, hiking, stuff like that. No big deal, maybe once or twice a month." Joss was aware she was saying too much, but she couldn't seem to help herself. "Taylor likes him," she finished lamely.
Steven looked at her closely. "Were you involved with him, Jocelyn?"
"Noooooo…definitely not."
"You said it's not a formal arrangement. So, how did they meet?" He was smiling, but Joss could see that fierce intelligence working.
"We've worked together in the past…he mentioned he liked to hike, Taylor likes to hike, it just went from there." Inwardly, she was cringing. You used to be an interrogator, what are you doing?, she said to herself.
"He's a government guy?"
"I really can't talk about it. So… the exhibit we're seeing this afternoon – you said you know the sculptor?"
She could tell he knew to give up – at least for today. "Yes, I posed for her, when I was in my poor student days," he patted his stomach ruefully, "a few pounds ago."
Joss had checked her website – time to turn the tables. "She's known for her nudes…is there something I should know?"
His face turned red, but he was smiling. "I'll let you find that out for yourself, Jocelyn."
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During an after lunch walk, Steven turned a speculative eye on her. "So, what's next after being a cop?"
"What do you mean?" Joss asked.
"You've been a soldier, you have a law degree, worked your way up to Detective – what's your next career move – corporate security?"
"I like being a cop, Steven."
"Really?" He looked skeptical.
"Yes, really." She smiled, realizing he was serious. "Why?"
"You're a striver, Jocelyn, like me. You work hard and I can tell by the books you read you're always looking for ways to improve yourself. When I invested all those years ago, it made me rich, and I enjoy everything it brings me, but I didn't earn it. I'll always work and I think you will too.
"I feel a real commitment to serving the public. That's why I became a soldier and that's why I'm a cop." Joss didn't add that there was also something viscerally satisfying about looking a criminal in the eye and letting them know without a word that, 'Before the lawyers defend you, before the court system plea bargains you and before the therapists say you came from a really nice family, I know what you did.' It was also why working with Reese, Finch and Fusco was so satisfying, even if she'd never admit it.
Steven had a challenging gleam in his eye. "Would you want your son to be a cop?"
"I'd want my son to be whatever he wants to be…and to always be nice to his mother."
"Now you're going overboard," he said.
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Coffee had progressed to lunch and lunch had progressed to dinner. On a Saturday afternoon, they had gone to a basketball game at his college alma mater, then driven to a rustic inn outside the city for dinner. Since Joss had been catching up on her paperwork that morning at the precinct, she had driven her car to Steven's apartment building, parking in his second assigned space, when they met outside his building.
"Would you like to come up for a drink," Steven asked as he pulled his car into his spot that evening.
The something inside was stirring softly. "Yes," she said.
Steven keyed the access code into the elevator as they rose to his floor. "After the divorce, this place became available. My daughter Skye and my ex-wife live two buildings down. I get to see her more often because we're so near each other."
Steven gave her a quick tour. His home was sleek and modern with a balcony that ran the length of the apartment, overlooking Central Park. The living room, dining room, library and master bedroom all opened onto the balcony. The kitchen and the other rooms, including his daughter's, were in the back.
"Let's sit in here," Steven said, leading her to the library. He pushed a button on the wall and a gas fireplace sprang to life. Walking over to a small bar, he poured two brandies while Joss sat on a couch in front of the fire.
Handing her the brandy, he sat down next to her. "I love to open the balcony doors while it's snowing and I have a fire going. It may snow late tonight…," his lips were close to her ear, "I hope you'll still be here to watch it with me."
Putting his brandy down, Steven kissed her hair. "God, the firelight against your skin...you're so beautiful, Jocelyn, so beautiful."
She put her brandy down, turning her body towards him for his kiss. He took her into his arms, kissing her deeply. His lips trailed down to her throat and he pushed her back on the couch, murmuring between kisses, "…I want you so much…let me make love to you….say yes, Jocelyn, say yes…"
Joss felt the heat of the fire, the heat of his body and the heat of his words enveloping her, smothering her. She pulled his face to hers, kissing him to stop the flow of words. They stretched out on the couch and Steven pulled down the zipper on her sweater, his hand cupping her breast through her t-shirt. As she arched her body towards his, waiting for that something inside her to finally come to life, she felt it.
A vibration, in her jeans pocket.
"Steven – wait, wait, stop." She pushed him back, pulled her phone out of her pocket.
Unregistered number.
"I'm sorry, I have to take this." Standing up, she moved away from him and answered the phone. "Carter."
Finch was calm, but she could hear the strain in his voice. "Detective, I'm sorry to bother you, but I think our friends may need your assistance."
"What's going on?"
"I'm not sure. We were cut off, but I think I heard gunfire."
"Give me an address."
She hung up, turned to Steven. "I'm sorry, I have to go."
Steven rose from the couch, followed her to the foyer and got her coat. "Jocelyn – "
"I'll call you." She stepped into the elevator.
Moving quickly, she jumped in her car and drove to the address Finch had given her. It was an old construction site, deserted, with plastic flapping and the pipes from scaffolding rattling in the air. Coverage was spotty in this area, so Joss wasn't surprised that she couldn't reach Reese and Fusco by phone.
She ran through the site, gun drawn, looking and listening for movement. Finally she saw something tall and white moving towards her.
It was Reese. He was on a piece of scaffolding, covered in what appeared to be plaster dust from head to foot. Fusco was right behind him.
Holstering her gun, Joss broke into a wide grin. "Finch said you needed help. He thought he heard gunfire, but it looks like you just need a shower."
"Nice to see you, too, Detective. The gunfire Finch heard was Lionel shooting at a raccoon."
Fusco growled, "Raccoons have rabies. Casper here –"
There was a sharp crack. The part of scaffolding that Fusco was standing on gave way and he plunged out of sight.
"Fusco!" Joss ran under the scaffolding. She heard a thump – Reese had jumped down and was right behind her.
Lionel was struggling to get out of a muddy puddle. He'd fallen in face first and was covered in shards of ice, mud and gravel.
"Are you okay?" Joss asked, as she and Reese helped him up.
"I'll live – unfortunately. Let's get out of here before this shithole falls down on top of us."
"What about the number?" Joss asked.
"No show." Reese said, "Or maybe the raccoon got him."
They looked at her expectantly. Joss realized they had come on foot. She shook her head. "Come on...just don't get near me. You're paying to have everything cleaned."
As they walked towards the street, Joss thought about how her evening had gone from a beautiful apartment to a cold construction site, from an elegant man who wanted to make love to her, to two filthy dirty men who wanted her to give them a ride. She started laughing uncontrollably. At first Reese and Fusco looked annoyed, but then as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, under a streetlight and saw how they looked, Fusco started to laugh and even Reese cracked a smile. "Sorry to ruin your night, Detective. Taylor mentioned you had plans."
"No big deal…I wouldn't have missed this for anything," Joss laughed.
Heat rushed through her body as the adrenaline started to ebb. She opened her jacket and sweater, flapping them to cool down, just as a large truck careened around the corner. A tidal wave of water doused her from neck to toes. Gasping as the icy cold water cascaded down her body, Joss stumbled backwards. Reese caught her in his arms before she fell. Their eyes met, held. She waited for him to set her back on her feet, but he just held her.
Fusco cleared his throat. "And the winner of the wet t-shirt contest, cougar division…" he joked.
Which of course, made things worse.
Reese's eyes went to her chest, slowly scanned the length of her body, then met her eyes again. The something inside her roared to life and she knew he felt it course through her body.
Finally Reese set her on her feet. They stood there staring at each other. Joss could hear Fusco shifting his feet nervously, waiting for someone to say something.
A car pulled up. "I'd thought I'd check on," Finch's eyes flickered over the three of them – Dusty, Muddy and Wet - , "my crack team for myself. The debrief should be fascinating."
"Harold, if you could give Lionel and I a ride…"
"Of course. Detective Carter –"
Joss didn't hear whatever else he had to say. Almost running, she jumped in her car and drove away.
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That night Joss spent a long time in the shower. After her husband passed away, once a week she'd take Taylor to her mother's, come home, turn on the shower full blast and cry. She couldn't bear thinking that anyone, including herself, could hear her tears.
She wasn't going to cry, but she knew something was welling up inside her. She got out of the shower, got ready for bed, but she was wide awake. She prowled the apartment, looking for a distraction, but nothing satisfied her. Whatever it was kept growing and growing and she became more and more agitated. Finally, she threw on her running clothes, left Taylor a note and ran out of the apartment an hour before dawn.
As she ran, at first her thoughts were incomplete and jumbled, like a pieces of a jigsaw puzzle dumped out of a box. Slowly, sentences began to form:
I don't want to be like them
I can't be like them
I won't be like them
Her chest began to ache, but she kept running. She thought of all the books, movies and songs that lauded unchecked passion, that being swept away by your emotions was right and desirable. They didn't talk about the other side, the side she saw every day in her job, where people gave up everything, their freedom, their families, their dignity, their soul, just for a few moments in someone else's arms.
I don't want to be like them
I can't be like them
I won't be like them
Of course John Reese had looked at her. She was soaking wet and her nipples were hard enough to cut diamonds. He's a man. Men look. It didn't mean anything. Her stomach felt queasy, but she kept running.
I don't want to be like them
I can't be like them
I won't be like them
Why did she feel more from his simple touch, than she did from all of Steven's kisses and caresses last night? Her legs began to wobble, but she kept running.
I don't want to be like them
I can't be like them
I won't be like them –
"Joss, stop, stop."
Strong arms wrapped around her. Her eyes began to focus and she realized that somehow she was in the park near her apartment, with the last person she wanted to see in the world. She pushed Reese away, snarling, "Back off!," drawing curious and concerned looks from the other park patrons. Lowering her arms, she sighed and let pull her over to one of the park benches.
"Sit down. You can barely stand." His fingers tight around her arms, he watched her, as her breath slowed. "What's wrong? Is it Taylor? Your mother?"
"No. It's nothing. I'm fine…why are you here?" He didn't say anything, just kept looking at her with those amazing eyes, and she felt that something start to spring to life again. She had to get away before he felt it. She tried to stand, but he held onto her and she blessed the anger which now spread through her system, covering everything.
"Joss –"
"I'm fine. Let me go, John," she said through clenched teeth.
"Joss –"
"Let. Me. Go."
He dropped his hands. Slowly, she made her way to her apartment. Fortunately, Taylor was still asleep. She decided to send Steven a brief text, but saw that he had left a message asking her to call him, any time before noon.
"Jocelyn, are you okay? Were you able to resolve last night's incident?"
"Yep, the streets of New York are safe again."
"As if I ever had a doubt. Listen, the head of Shetler Pharmaceuticals had a midnight epiphany and finally realized he's not immortal. He wants to put his affairs in order. I'm leaving for Washington State this afternoon, not sure when I'll be back," his voice softened, "but when I do come back, I'd like to finish what we started last night."
She took a deep breath. "I'd like that too, Steven. Safe travels."
TBC
A/N: I left how Reese got covered in plaster dust to your imagination. Somehow, I think the raccoon might have had something to do with it. Next: Reese and the other guy have a chat.