I really do love all the support I've recieved for this story and I would love to thank each and every one of you!

Castle lifted his head to look at the clock on the other bedside table. 'Beckett, its eight o'clock on a Sunday morning and we don't even have a case.' Castle perked up a bit, 'Do we have a case?'

'No.'

Castle groaned. 'Well then why'd you wake me up?'

'I didn't mean to.'

He pouted like a small child. 'No but it got cold without you.'

'Well you can go back to sleep but I for one will be leaving this apartment before Alexis walks in on us again, or God forbid your mother.'

'She is on a spiritual retreat actually and Alexis would still be at Paige's.'

'Still, I'm leaving before she gets back.'

'Come back to bed?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'I'll make it worth your while.' Castle wiggled his eyebrows.

'Forget it. Last night shouldn't have happened. We've already sorted it, we both want to just pretend that it didn't happen the first time and we can just do the same for this time. It was just a momentary lapse in judgement.'

'No, you wanted to pretend that it didn't happen. I never got a say in it.'

'We agreed.'

'Kate.'

Lanie was right, not that I'll ever tell her. 'Fine. What did you have to say on the matter?'

'Come back to bed and I'll tell you.' She just looked at him with frustration. 'Over breakfast then? We never did get that Rick Castle special.'

'Only because I'm starving and I'm pretty sure my apartment contains zero food.'

Sitting in front of an uneaten pancake she spoke uneasily. 'I really think we should just pretend that this didn't happen.'

He didn't even look up; he just kept working around the kitchen. 'Yes, because that worked so well the first time.'

'I just can't keep doing this. We just can't keep doing this.'

He looked her straight in the eye and spoke determinedly. 'Why can't we? I don't want this to stop. I don't want to hide it. I want to scream it from the balcony for all of New York to hear.'

Her voice was uncertain and she couldn't look him in the eye. 'We can't do this Castle. I can't let this get in the way of either of our jobs. You have your books and I have my crimes. We've been doing this for years and it has worked. I just don't want us to screw up what we have. You can still help me solve cases and you can still do research for your books, we both win.'

'Kate, listen to me. It's no longer about the books. It never was; it has always been about you. I had never met someone who truly surprised me, who didn't fall for my charms, who was so impossible to capture in words. Nikki Heat isn't you; she's a vague shadow of you because no words could describe the amazing Kate Beckett. What we've got can't be replaced, it's rarer than anything on this planet.'

'I can't do this Castle. I can't ruin this. What we have is special I know but I don't want to wreck it. I can't let you any closer or I'll start backing away.'

'And I'll keep chasing you.' He made his way around the bench to stand in front of the teary eyed detective. He reached for her hands but she pulled away

'You don't understand. I can't let you in. I can't be vulnerable. For so long I've lived distant from everyone around me. I keep my distance because I don't want to hurt them.'

'You won't hurt me because I love you; no matter what you do you're perfect to me. You don't need to run from me, I will be here no matter what. When I said always I meant it.' With each word she backed away a little further, more tears brimming in her eyes.

'I just can't.' Turning she ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Castle called out to her but she was already gone.

She managed to hold back her tears until she had hailed a taxi. She was in no state to drive, no matter what she told herself. Usually she would hate to have someone she didn't know seeing her cry but she didn't care about it today. Rattling off her address she leant back on the seat grasping onto her mother's ring for dear life.

Leaving his apartment was good for her... right? Then, why did it feel like the biggest mistake of her life? Why was all she wishing with all her soul that she could tell the driver to turn around, so that she could go and take back her harsh words?

She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She stopped herself fully letting people in, fully loving so that she didn't hurt this way. If you didn't love people properly then you don't hurt when they leave your life. Only she had let Castle in, she didn't mean to his just used his bloody charm to worm his way into her long dead heart.

She hadn't felt this vulnerable since her mother's death. She was scared that she had let someone in so fully that they were able to cause her this much pain. She only left now because no love will last forever, she was just leaving before her heart was broken. This way she wasn't supposed to feel the pain and heartbreak.

She may not be able to love but that didn't matter. Up to this point she had never felt true heartbreak; she had always removed herself before that could happen. She'd sever any relationship that seemed serious.

Only this time it was different. She hadn't gotten away in time, she'd let herself get carried away. She'd let love and lust overtake her need for self preservation.

Arriving at her apartment she paid the driver and apologised for her tears. She plodded up the stairs to her apartment; each step seemed to take more effort than running after a suspect in heels. Her head was aching from her tears which were still rolling down her already soaked cheeks.

Castle stood watching the door for what felt like hours, just waiting for her to return. To tell him that she didn't mean it. But it didn't happen; he just stood there like an idiot, waiting. He should have known that she would run. It was all she knew.

He should have known to take it slow, to go on her terms. At least then he might still have his partnership with her. Instead he was left with nothing, all because of his own hasty actions.

He moved to the living room, which was where Alexis found him hours later. It wasn't until she put her hand on his shoulder that he acknowledged her presence.

'Dad, are you okay?'

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and smiling he replied, 'yeah, I'm fine. How was your night?'

She didn't believe him at all, she was worried. 'Has something happened to Gram?'

'No honey, nothing's wrong, trust me.'

'Since when has that been wise?' Castle chuckled darkly and pulled her into a one armed hug.

'You know me too well.'

'Was it Beckett?'

'It doesn't matter, really. I'd rather not talk about it anyway.'

'Dad.'

'Yes my fabulous daughter who completely ignored my question from before. How was your night?'

'It was fine but I have homework to do. Don't bottle it up, let it out somehow.'

'I promise.' And he would. He'd take out his frustrations in the best way he knew, through words.

He spent so many hours just typing away, angst filled bits and pieces that couldn't count for more than words. They weren't a story, a story had to have rise and fall, and this was just pure sadness. What this story needed was a knight in shining armour, to run after the damsel in distress. Only this time it would take more than a knight's armour and a trusty steed.

Kate Beckett wouldn't just give in. She was too stubborn; she needs evidence before she will believe. She'll listen to you but without proof she won't act. How can he give her proof that they would work? He knew it would work, it wasn't just one of his little fantasies, it was real.

She couldn't let herself believe in love because she'd always been let down. She lost both her parent's the day her mother died. Her father came back but it was too late, she had already decided that promises meant nothing. There was no more always for her.

Suddenly he had an epiphany. He'd said always, and he meant it but he wasn't honouring it. He was just being another man who let her down, broke his promise.

He called out to Alexis that he'd be back and ran out the door. The cool autumn air bit at his face as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. He had left his keys along with his jacket in his apartment so he had to hail a cab. He hopped in and blurted the address.

The driver gave him a long stare through the rear vision mirror. 'You aren't going to cry on me are you?'

'No.' Castle looked confused.

'Good.'

The rest of the drive was silent as Castle attempted to prepare a speech in his head. Everything he thought of just wasn't right. It was too showy, it was all wrong, or Beckett could get the wrong idea. The man who made millions on his words alone couldn't even figure out what to say to the love of his life. Before he decided what he would say they had arrived at her apartment building.

I just wanted to get this out since I haven't updated in a few days. I hope it makes sense. Amazingly it seems that school makes me more motivated to write once I get home, maybe it's the fact that if I write I have an excuse for not doing my homework...

Anyway, let me know what you think! Good or bad! :)